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The Russians are coming!!! ...to Earth 18 Civs

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by brandon.herren, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update :D

    Catherine: Another City, Rostov was founded!
    Stalin: What about Stalingrad??????
    Catherine: That's our 9th city
    Gorbachev: Our Economy can't take this much longer!
    Ivan: What's an economy?
    Putin: Were losing 30 gold per turn! This is what happens to non-communist countries! They all go into debt! We need a revolution
    Catherine: Well, we're not getting communism for another 2000 years or so, so we need another solution. Well?
    Peter: I've got an idea!
    Catherine: Anyone?
    Peter: Did you hear me?
    Catherine: Seriously, does anyone have an idea?
    Peter: :mad: FORGET IT

    *Peter leaves*

    Catherine: That was certainly enjoyable! :lol:
    Stalin: I'll have to agree here...

    *Asoka enters*

    Asoka: Hi, I'm Asoka of the Indian Empire. Would you like open borders?
    Catherine: Sure *whisper* I'll warn you idiots not to mention the UK or Pakistan...
    Ivan: Whats Pakistan?
    Asoka: What did you just say? :mad:

    *Asoka leaves (breaking a vase on the way out...)*

    Catherine: That was my favorite vase too... Ivan!!!!!
    Ivan: Um... How was I supposed to know? I had never heard of them? :scared:

    *Ivan leaves*

    Alexander II: And then there were 6... By the way, why not convert to Slavery to help our economy?
    Catherine: Right, High upkeep and slave revolts sound SO beneficial :rolleyes:
    Gorbachev: I'm sick of her bossing, I vote yes!
    Putin: Yes!
    Stalin: Yes!
    Nicholas II: Yes! Slavery it is! And we just discovered Iron Working!
    Catherine: You'll regret bringing up that vote...

    Meanwhile with Peter

    Peter: I'll show that stupid Catherine...
    Lenin: Hey Peter, what are you doing in Paris?
    Peter: I'm going to capture London! Are you willing to join me?
    Lenin: Sure! I'm feeling good for a Crusade!

    *Elizabeth enters*

    Elizabeth: I've heard from others that when this happens, It means you're going to declare war...
    Peter: That's right!
    Lenin: Russian Crusade!
    Elizabeth: Whatever... I may have forgot to warn you, but attack London, and I'll kill you...
    Lenin: We'll see...

    Battle of London
    2 Russian Chariots vs 2 English Warriors :lol: Again!
    Victory! 0 losses
    London is captured by the Russian Empire

    *Peter and Lenin return*

    Peter: I'm back!
    Lenin: Me too!
    Catherine: Finally, lazy....
    Peter: Hmm... I think not, we just captured London, while I'm sure you guys just argued the whole time!
    Catherine: Wait what?
    Peter: That's right, we captured London! Take that Catherine! I led a successful battle and you didn't :p
    Nicholas II: Great Work!
    Lenin: My Crusades always succed ;)
    Catherine: The C word!
     

    Attached Files:

  2. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    I only count 9 cities?
     
  3. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Fixed it. And while playing, I conquered another civ :D Leading to my conclusion that Chariots are the most awesome unit in all of civ!
     
  4. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

    Joined:
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    Location:
    In America's hat.
    I love how they totally own Axemen.
     
  5. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    So true, and for me they somehow always manage to beat an Archer...
    Anyways, after playing for 35 more turns, 1 more civ is gone :D
    2nd update for today coming soon :)
     
  6. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update!

    Catherine: Ok, time for another vote for who to attack
    Stalin: We seem to do this a lot... Just look at all of the destroyed civs...
    Peter: I vote Germany!
    Catherine: What? It's tradition that I vote first!
    Peter: Too bad! :p
    Catherine: Do that again, and I'll cut your tongue off....
    Peter: Um...
    Lenin: I vote Germany!
    Stalin: Germany!!!!! Russia's Revenge is soon!
    Alexander II: Germany!
    Everyone else: Germany!
    Peter: Germany wins by unanimous vote :)

    *Frederick enters*

    Frederick: Yeah yeah yeah... You declare war blah blah blah...
    Peter: Hey! It's no fun if I don't get to say it! But your right. It's war time!
    Frederick: I won't go down without a fight!
    Lenin: :rolleyes: Good luck with stopping a CRUSADE!!!
    Catherine: Stop saying the C Word!!!!

    *Frederick leaves*

    Battle of Berlin (725 BC, not 1945 AD...)
    5 Russian Chariots vs 2 German Archers!
    Victory, 2 Chariots lost :(
    The Russian Empire captures Berlin

    Battle of Hamburg
    3 Russian Chariots vs 1 German Archer
    Victory, 1 Chariot lost
    The Russian Empire captures Hamburg

    Lenin: Have we defeated them yet?
    Alexander II: Nope, they have 2 more cities!
    Frederick: See! Talk about underestimating the enemy
    Catherine: Well, you can't really blame him, considering every single other Civ we've destroyed had only 1 city...
    Frederick: Well, the Germans will beat the Russians!
    Stalin: I seriously doubt that Believe me, I know what will happen ;)

    2nd Battle of Hamburg
    1 Russian Chariot vs 2 German Chariots
    Loss :eek:, 1 Russian Chariot lost, 1 German Chariot destroyed
    The German Empire recaptures Hamburg :faint:....:trouble:

    Lenin: What??? We lost a battle? The world must be ending
    Frederick: Go Germany! :lol: Pretty strong garrison you had :lol:
    Peter: :mad: You'll see!


    Battle of Munich
    2 Russian Chariots, 1 Russian Axeman, 1 Russian Swordsman vs
    1 German Spearman, 2 German Axeman <----(Easy targets :))
    0 Losses :D
    The Russian Empire captures Munich

    3rd Battle of Hamburg
    3 Russian Swordsman, 3 Russian Chariots, 1 Russian Spearman vs
    2 German Archers (overkill??? :D)
    1 Swordman lost
    The Russian Empire razes Hamburg

    Lenin: Ha ha ha! In your face Fred! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Frederick: Were still alive!
    Putin: Um, yes, *cough* 1 pop city *cough* :lol:
    Frederick: You'll all see!

    Battle of Cologne
    3 Russian Swordsman, 1 Russian Axeman, 2 Russian Chariots vs
    2 German Archers
    1 Swordsman lost
    The Russian Empire razes Cologne

    The German Civilization has been destroyed!

    Lenin: I see it alright! I see city ruins :lol:
    Frederick: Curses! You will be destroyed!
    Lenin: Right, right! Send him to the guillotine!
    Frederick: Guillotine???? It's only 525 BC!
    Putin: Well, we do happen to own France...

    *Guards escort Frederick to the first guillotine ever created*

    Gorbachev: You know, we really need an economic adviser! We're losing 32 gold per turn... at 50% research!
    Ivan: I don't get why we need an "economy". Doesn't war satisfy our needs?
    Lenin: Communism! It will get rid of our distance maintenance cost, cutting our expenses in half, and restoring economic equilibrium
    Catherine: Was that actually Lenin speaking?
    Lenin: Yeah, that was me!
    Catherine: Ok... And here I thought you weren't capable of uttering a vocabulary word more complex than crusade...
    Lenin: You said the C word :p

    *Messenger enters*

    Messenger: We founded Confucianism in Berlin! Should we convert?
    Catherine: Ha! These idiots following the concepts of Confucianism! I'd like to see that...
    Lenin: NO Way!!!!!! Confucianism advocates pacifism!
    Stalin: Seriously! I vote no too!
    Ivan: No!
    Putin: No!
    Alexander II: No!
    Catherine: That's already majority no...
    Messenger: Ok

    *Messenger leaves*

    *Another Messenger enters*

    Messenger: We built the Oracle in Greece!
    Alexander II: For some reason, that feels so right...
    Messenger: What should be discovered?
    Everyone: Metal Casting!
    Catherine: Wait a second... Did we just all agree on something? :eek:
    Peter: That's one of the signs that the world is ending...

    *Mansa enters*

    Mansa: I have come to offer Open Borders!
    Catherine: Sure
    Peter: Sure
    Catherine: I already said that!
    Mansa: I feel your pain. My adviser Joe is always being an idiot! He's delusional half the time!
    Catherine: Wow! That's a near perfect description of Peter!. What a coincidence! :lol:

    3 Updates in One Day :D And I'm still sane... For the moment :lol:
     

    Attached Files:

  7. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    Good story!
    You are pretty much destroying everything in this game :lol:

    I can only mean one thing, Noble is too easy for you :p
     
  8. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    Needs more Siberia
     
  9. Tycho

    Tycho AFK Forum Warrior

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    Needs moar Siberia and Asia! Hopefully the Mongols won't sweep by and try to annihilate Russia...
     
  10. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    I'll settle it eventually, but it's a little too tundradidy for me. Update soon :)
     
  11. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update!

    Catherine: Were building a Buddhist Temple in Madrid :)
    Lenin: What??? That's violating the Atheist Crusade code! How dare you! The people in Paris know better...
    Catherine: Every sane person I know violates that code...
    Lenin: Barbaric Catherine...
    Catherine: What did you just say??? ...:trouble: I'm not barbaric! I'll prove it! I bet that I'll get more culture points in Moscow, then you will in Paris!
    Lenin: Your on!... Who are we going to attack?
    Ivan: I vote Mongolia!
    Peter: Egypt
    Catherine: Egypt!
    Gorbachev: Egypt
    Alexander II: Egypt
    Putin: *cough* America *cough*
    Catherine: Why do you always say that?
    Putin: If you lived in the year 2011, you might understand what I mean...
    Gorbachev: Undoing all of my progress....
    Putin: What? I'm making Russia more "Democratic" :shifty:
    Catherine: Even though I ruled in the 1700's, I can tell your lying... Anyways, on topic, we're attacking Egypt

    *Hatshepsut enters*

    Hatshepsut: Hi!
    Peter: You don't know?
    Hatshepsut: Know what?
    Peter: We DECLARE WAR! :crazyeye:
    Hatshepsut: Whatever, you'll lose, and we'll bury your bodies under a Pyramid...
    Catherine: Do that to Lenin? Please! I'll actually pay you...
    Lenin: What? We're at war with her, and you want me to be sacrificed to her... treason...
    Ivan: I doubt she's the only Russian ruler who had committed treason... *looks at Stalin and Putin*
    Putin: Huh? Why are you looking at me...
    Peter: Guys, just stop... The battle's about to begin!

    Battle of Heliopolis
    4 Russian Chariots, 1 Russian Swordsman, 1 Russian Axeman, 1 Russian Spearmen vs
    2 Egyptian Archers, 1 Egyptian Warrior... (Seriously, it's already past turn 100...)
    Casualties: 1 Chariot
    Victory!
    The Russian Empire captures Heliopolis!

    Lenin: That's one for Russia, zip for Egypt :D
    Ivan: And you defended with a warrior... :lol:
    Hatshepsut: :mad: Maybe, I'm not a psychopathic warmonger unlike others...
    Catherine: Those too do fit that description
    Lenin: Treason again!
    Peter: If treason is insulting another leader, then she commits about 100 cases of it every day...
    Catherine: I do? I never noticed...

    Battle of Thebes
    4 Russian Swordsman, 2 Russian Axeman, 4 Russian Chariots, 1 Russian Spearman vs
    2 Egyptian Archers, 1 Egyptian Horse Archer
    Casualties: 0 :)
    The Russian Empire captures Thebes

    Battle of Memphis
    3 Russian Swordsman, 2 Russian Axeman, 4 Russian Chariots vs
    2 Egyptian Archers, 1 Egyptian War Chariot, 1 Egyptian Warrior
    Casualties: 1 Axeman, 1 Chariot
    The Russian Empire captures Memphis

    The :egypt: Civ has been Destroyed :spear:

    Hatshepsut: For the record, you didn't use tanks to defeat us...
    Lenin: True... But you used Warriors to defend against us :lol:
    Hatshepsut: Next time, I'll just get spearman... stupid chariots...
    Peter: Aren't War Chariots your special unit...
    Catherine: Yet they still lost to our "normal" chariots :p
    Hatshepsut: Yeah yeah yeah, don't rub it in....

    *Hatshepsut disappears!*

    Catherine: Well that was weird...
    Putin: Must be the capitalists...
    Lenin: I'll believe that...
    Stalin: Makes perfect sense
    Catherine: Idiots....

    *Messenger enters*

    Messenger: We just recieved a letter!

    Lenin: He's a smart guy :D
    Catherine: The Ruler of the universe favors Lenin??? :confused: Of all people....

    *Messenger5 enters*

    Messenger5: We built a Golden Statue of Lenin, called the Colossus
    Lenin: Great Work :D You guys are awesome!
    Catherine: You must be kidding! :eek:

    *Messenger5 leaves*

    Gorbachev: Anyway, we seem to finally have a solution for the economy. The Jewish shrine in Memphis will give 20 gold per turn :cool: $$$$
    Catherine: Yet another one of my brilliant solutions!
    Peter: ???? Your idea...???? You wish... :lol:
    Catherine: Did someone say something.... Nah, must have been nothing...
    Peter: So ignored....

    *Cyrus enters*

    Cyrus: Well...
    Peter: What?
    Cyrus: Convert to Judaism!
    Lenin: NO! Atheism FTW!!!!!!! ... And crusades too...
    Cyrus: Don't those two kind of contradict each other...
    Catherine: He contradicts himself a lot...
    Lenin: Hey!
    Catherine: Ha, I always get the last laugh...
    Lenin: Right... You didn't forget about are bet did you... Paris got more culture :lol:
    Catherine: Maybe I spoke too soon...
    Lenin: Barbaric Catherine :p
     

    Attached Files:

  12. Optical

    Optical The Fall of the Eleventh

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    Stupid AI... warriors :lol:

    Nice update!
     
  13. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    You captured Thebes twice!! :eek:

    This is almost as incredible as the dream i had last night: I was taking my shower and there were miniature nuclear explosions in the bathtub. I was trying not to stand too close to them but nonetheless, by the time i was done washing my hair, half of my face was irradiated.
     
  14. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Oops, fixed. My dreams are almost as crazy :crazyeye: Once, I dreamed I was a homeless ghost, and I built a house out of food, and then I fell onto a tree, and I woke up :crazyeye:


    Thanks! Yeah you think they'd learn that Warriors are obsolete by turn 110...
     
  15. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    I write my dreams sometimes, and usualy post them on facebook when i do. Too bad i write them i french :lol:
     
  16. christos200

    christos200 Never tell me the odds

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    Great updates.
     
  17. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Since I'm leaving soon, and won't be able to update for a while, I declare today...

    Quadruple Update Day

    :D
     
  18. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update #1 :)

    Stalin: We discovered Machinery!
    Gorbachev: Since when do you announce discovered technologies...
    Catherine: I agree. No warmonger should be allowed to announce that. So, Putin, Lenin, Stalin, Ivan. Oh and Peter :lol: ,can't say it!
    Peter: I'm no warmonger! You are!
    Lenin: Nah... She's too pacifist to be a warmonger...
    Catherine: You guys should try Pacifism...
    Alexander II: Personally, I estimate an 2% chance of converting them...
    Catherine: True...

    *Messenger enters*

    Catherine: If this has to do with another Lenin statue, get lost!
    Lenin: Don't be mean... So, is it another statue of our glorius :king:
    Catherine: That statement is nowhere near true...
    Messenger: We built Chicken Itza!
    Catherine: Ha! Take that Mr. "Glorious King"
    Lenin: It doesn't matter, Paris still has the Colossus of Lenin! :D
    Catherine: That old rusty statue...
    Lenin: :mad: Well, you don't have a statue!
    Catherine: Statue's are for losers!
    Lenin: Are not!
    Catherine: Are too!
    Gorbachev: Please, children, let's just both agree that you are both monsters and move on!
    Peter: Ha! I'll agree with that!:lol:
    Catherine: I'm the glorius queen, and you Peter, are the barbaric servant monster!
    Alexander II: Will you all be quiet! Jeez, and this is how our government runs...
    Lenin: One simple switch to Communism would fix that...
    Catherine: It's only 300 AD!!! Communism doesn't exist! :mad:
    Lenin: Ha! As long as I'm here, it will exist
    Putin: On to actual buisness... Who should we attack?
    Peter: Arabia!
    Putin: Arabia!
    Lenin: Arabia!
    Ivan: Arabia!
    Stalin: Arabia!
    Catherine: Ha! Notice how all of the warmongers repeat exactly what you say...

    *Saladin enters*

    Saladin: Um... Hello. I was randomly teleported right outside of the building for some reason...
    Peter: Weird... Anways, Time to DIE, Saladin
    Saladin: Ha, I'll believe that... If Lenin here is your Military Adviser, than I'm not a bit afraid...
    Catherine: Ha! I don't blame you... Lenin doesn't exactly intimidate anyone...
    Lenin: I'm very intimidating!
    Catherine: Sure... if annoyance is intimidating, your the most intimidating person in the world!
    Saladin: Are you guys actually going to attack?
    Gorbachev: In about 5 minutes. Just wait for these fools to stop attacking themselves....

    5 Minutes later :)

    Battle of Mecca (Saladin: How did you get all the way to Mecca in 5 minutes?)
    3 Russian Maceman, 3 Russian Chariots vs
    2 Arabian Archers (Somehow promoted with all 3 city defense promotions...) 1 Axeman
    Casualties: 2 Maceman :(
    The Russian Empire captures Mecca

    Saladin: I suppose I was wrong to underestimate you...
    Catherine: Not really, anyone who stays in a room with Lenin for 5 minutes will underestimate our empire... with good reason :lol:
    Saladin: Whatever, you haven't beat me yet. I still have 5 more cities...
    Lenin: 5 more cities... fine, we'll take a short break...
    Catherine: I got reports, two more cities were founded, Yekaterinburg, and Yaroslavl'
    Lenin: Leningrad will never come, will it... :cry:
    Catherine: What do you think? :D
    Stalin: What about Stalingrad :)
    Catherine: Not coming! :D
    Lenin/Stalin: :cry:
    Peter: Um... Are you two okay...
    Lenin/Stalin: ...:cry:
    Saladin: Wow... It's a wonder you guys have conquered so many cities...
    Catherine: Believe me, I wonder about the same thing...
    brandon.herren: End of Update!
    Everyone: :eek:........:cry:
    Lenin: :cry: Wait! What??? We didn't finish conquering Arabia yet!
    brandon.herren: Wait until next update :) I still have to do 3 more updates to do for other stories today
    Lenin: I think your just being lazy... :p
     

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  19. stfoskey12

    stfoskey12 Emperor of Foskania

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    Where are the other 3 updates?
     
  20. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    In his 3 other stories :p
     

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