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The Russians are coming!!! ...to Earth 18 Civs

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by brandon.herren, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    I can barely deal with one story :lol:
     
  2. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    783
  3. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update #1

    Lenin: I want war!!!! We haven't attacked in 2 weeks!
    Catherine: Yep, I'm doing an experiment... How lack of warfare can affect you :lol: So far, I predict, you'll have died by a month...
    Peter: Seriously though, why aren't we going to attack! We're just sitting around here...
    Nicholas II: Whatever, I'm going to visit our cities and be PRODUCTIVE
    Peter: A word obviously not in Catherine's vocabulary...

    *Nicholas II leaves*

    Catherine: Shut up! I'm doing my awesome plan!
    Putin: Which is...
    Catherine: Um.... Well, how the death of Lenin will improve the quality of life in the empire!

    *Saladin enters*

    Saladin: Um... Are you guys wanting peace or something....
    Lenin: NEVER!!!
    Saladin: Well then attack me! You guys did take over like 10 other civs, right.... I feel kind of hurt not being included. Don't you care! :cry:
    Peter: Say what?????
    Gorbachev: Anyways, we aren't attacking you!
    Saladin: So, you want peace?
    Gorbachev: Nope :)
    Saladin: Then what's the point of war if you don't even attack...
    Gorbachev: Oh, you'll see.... :mwaha:
    Stalin: Ok, you know were in trouble when the calmest leader is going insane...

    *Saladin leaves*

    Gorbachev: :mwaha: Saladin will soon be back... My genius plan will succeed!
    Catherine: Care to explain...
    Gorbachev: :nope:
    Catherine: Well, then I hate to say it, but it's true, every single one of us has gone insane, besides me of course...
    Peter: Oh please! I'm the only one!
    Stalin: Me and Lenin are the only sane ones!
    Putin: Oh Yeah! :mad: :splat:
    Stalin: Ow!!! :mad: Your going down!

    *Stalin and Putin start fighting*

    Peter: Stop it!

    *Catherine punches Peter*
    *Peter falls over*
    *Putin throws Peter at Catherine*
    *Peter punches Stalin*

    *Nicholas II enters*

    Nicholas II: Wow! So this is how a government shutdown works...
    Putin: Ha! I bet this is how Clinton and Gingrich handled there shutdown...

    *Messenger enters*

    Messenger: *Sees Peter's, Catherine's, and Stalin's bodies on the ground*
    Messenger: Um... What happened here...
    Gorbachev: Nothing Important :crazyeye: What's the news!!!! :crazyeye: :crazyeye:
    Nicholas II: No! Gorbachev, don't turn to the crazy side!
    Alexander II: It's too late, I'm afraid...
    Messenger: We discovered Feudalism! Oh and we founded Yakutz!
    Gorbachev: Yes! :p:lol::D:mad:
    Alexander II: So, your happy... right?
    Gorbachev: 3, 2, 1!!!!!!!!

    *Mansa enters*

    Mansa: I want to be your vassal!!!!!
    Gorbachev: Dang! Your not the right person! But I accept :)
    Mansa: Hooray! We continue our ancient tradition of being vassal states :D
    Putin: Not that smart if you ask me...

    *Mansa leaves*

    *Saladin enters*

    Gorbachev: Yes! Your the right person! Capitulate Now! :crazyeye:
    Saladin: Um, I came to tell you I wouldn't
    Gorbachev: Do it now!!!! :mad: [pissed]:c5war:
    Saladin: What's up with him...
    Alexander II: We're currently experiencing a "government shutdown" Only 3 of us our functioning
    Saladin: If that's true, then you guys must have been in a shutdown since the first day I met you...
    Nicholas II: Admittedly, that's probably true...
    Gorbachev: Well I want a vassal! :mad: You will turn! War Weariness!

    Battle of some random Arabian Plain tile!
    1 Russian Chariot vs 1 Arabian Axeman!
    Victory!

    Saladin: Ughhhh... I'm not feeling so good!
    Gorbachev: Yes! It's working! More War Weariness :crazyeye:

    Battle of some random desert tile!
    1 Russian Chariot vs 1 Arabian Axeman!
    Victory!

    Saladin: :vomit: I'm feeling weary.... I agree to be your vassal :(
    Gorbachev: Yes! I win! My plan worked! Take that society!
    Alexander II: Should we vote to attack someone else now...
    Gorbachev: Persia!
    Alexander II: I'll agree! That's already 2/3 majority

    *Messenger enters*

    Messenger: We build the Maussoolliem of Mausssoleeiosis
    Putin: Are you sure that's the name?
    Messenger: Um... I think so, we don't have dictionaries yet! Anyways, it was built for Gorbachev
    Gorbachev: Good work! Now, for my new evil plan! :crazyeye: :evil::mwaha:
    Alexander II: Dang! He's not going back to normal...
     

    Attached Files:

  4. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    Siberia looks so sad and alone :(
     
  5. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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  6. thecaesar

    thecaesar Will appear randomly

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    Location:
    Equestrian Roma
    Christos and I----->:ar15::ar15: :run:<----- Russia
     
  7. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Great Uptade!
    The Maussoolliem of Mausssoleeiosis is really an awesome place :D
     
  8. thecaesar

    thecaesar Will appear randomly

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    Location:
    Equestrian Roma
    Also: Christos and I = Stalin and Putin
     
  9. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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  10. Optical

    Optical The Fall of the Eleventh

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    Help me. I don't know where I am.
    I guess that makes me Nicholas II then :p
     
  11. MoreEpicThanYou

    MoreEpicThanYou The most Epic.

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Not Canada :P
    Then I am the most Epic Russian... We'll see who that ends up being. :D
     
  12. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update Coming... in two hours :lol: Anyways, when it comes, let's just say it will have a mention or two about epicness....
     
  13. Lelouch

    Lelouch Co-Epic Emperor

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    Subbed. Great story
     
  14. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update :D I'm trying image hosting websites for the first time

    *Qin Shi Huang enters*

    Qin: HI! I'm from China, we have the coolest painting of a wall in the world! Just look behind me...
    Qin: Anyways we'd like Sheep for 3 GPT

    Spoiler :


    Ivan: Sure, Mr. Stolen Wall Art! :lol:
    Qin: WHAT DID YOU SAY! YOU DARE DENY OUR ART PROWESS :mad:
    Catherine: Awfully defensive about your art
    Qin: Our Paintings rule!!!! I hate you Russia!!!!

    *Qin trips Ivan and leaves*

    Ivan: What the heck!
    Catherine: :lol:
    Gorbachev: Ok stop you two. My evil plan is all falling into place! Vote for who to attack, and I vote Persia
    Nicholas II: Sure
    Alexander II: I agree
    Putin: Ok
    Peter: I agree
    Catherine: I'll vote persia
    Gorbachev: Yes Evil Plan moves forward!!! :crazyeye:

    Spoiler :


    Peter: On With Ancient Tradition!!!!
    *Cyrus falls from the sky, lands right next to Peter*

    Cyrus: Ow!!! What the heck just happened...
    Peter: I declare war on you!!!!
    Cyrus: Whatever, there is a reason that our special unit is called the immortal. And besides, we want revenge for you stealing the Mausoleum of Mausolos!
    Stalin: It's the Mausssoleiim of Malsieons. Shouldn't you know how to spell your own wonders :lol:
    Lenin: FEAR our Cru.... EXPEDITION!!!!
    Catherine: :mad:
    Spoiler :



    Spoiler :


    Battle of Pasargadae!!!
    6 Russian Maceman, 1 Russian Crossbow, 1 Russian Chariot vs 1 Persian Swordsman, 1 Persian Axeman, 1 Persian Archer, 1 Persian Catapult
    Victory!!!!!
    Casualties: 2 Maceman
    Spoiler :


    Cyrus: We ain't givin' up yet!
    Gorbachev: Oh well, click the next turn button and we'll see how you feel then...

    Spoiler :


    Cyrus: Statue... scary... feeling sleepy... :scared: I'll capitulate! :bowdown:
    Gorbachev: Hope you guys are taking notes. Statue of weird god guy makes leaders scared :D
    Lenin: *writes in notepad* Got it!

    Spoiler :


    *Messenger Enters*

    Messenger: We just founded... *Lenin interupts him, walks over, whispers something and hands a $5 bill...*
    *Messenger rushes out with a marker and pen*
    *Messenger returns*
    Messenger: We just founded LeninIsEpicgrad! :D
    Catherine: What! You must be kidding! I demand the truth! LENIN!!!! I AM THE MOST EPIC!!!!!
    Messenger: *Rushes out*
    Gorbachev: For the record, you all hide in fear of my evil plan epicness :p
    Alexander II: For the record, thanks to you guys, we will never know the name of that city...

     
  15. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    Eat North Africa.
     
  16. Lelouch

    Lelouch Co-Epic Emperor

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    Lenin is Epicgrad!
     
  17. MoreEpicThanYou

    MoreEpicThanYou The most Epic.

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    Location:
    Not Canada :P
    I guess I'm Lenin. CRUSADEing is fun, anyway. :D
     
  18. Lelouch

    Lelouch Co-Epic Emperor

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    Crusading on the Epic scale is OVER 9000!!!!
     
  19. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    What about expeditions :p

    My EPIC/Swag SCALE:
    brandon.herren: &#8734; :lol::p
    Rodent Heads and Anti-Spam Spray: 100,000,000,000
    Lenin: 100,000
    METY, Lelouch, and PrinceofPersia: 8,000
     
  20. Lelouch

    Lelouch Co-Epic Emperor

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    Aug 9, 2011
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    903
    fixed
     

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