Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by brandon.herren, Oct 29, 2011.
I can barely deal with one story
I have returned! Tomorrow is another Quadruple update day
Lenin: I want war!!!! We haven't attacked in 2 weeks!
Catherine: Yep, I'm doing an experiment... How lack of warfare can affect you So far, I predict, you'll have died by a month...
Peter: Seriously though, why aren't we going to attack! We're just sitting around here...
Nicholas II: Whatever, I'm going to visit our cities and be PRODUCTIVE
Peter: A word obviously not in Catherine's vocabulary...
*Nicholas II leaves*
Catherine: Shut up! I'm doing my awesome plan!
Putin: Which is...
Catherine: Um.... Well, how the death of Lenin will improve the quality of life in the empire!
Saladin: Um... Are you guys wanting peace or something....
Saladin: Well then attack me! You guys did take over like 10 other civs, right.... I feel kind of hurt not being included. Don't you care!
Peter: Say what?????
Gorbachev: Anyways, we aren't attacking you!
Saladin: So, you want peace?
Saladin: Then what's the point of war if you don't even attack...
Gorbachev: Oh, you'll see....
Stalin: Ok, you know were in trouble when the calmest leader is going insane...
Gorbachev: Saladin will soon be back... My genius plan will succeed!
Catherine: Care to explain...
Catherine: Well, then I hate to say it, but it's true, every single one of us has gone insane, besides me of course...
Peter: Oh please! I'm the only one!
Stalin: Me and Lenin are the only sane ones!
Putin: Oh Yeah!
Stalin: Ow!!! Your going down!
*Stalin and Putin start fighting*
Peter: Stop it!
*Catherine punches Peter*
*Peter falls over*
*Putin throws Peter at Catherine*
*Peter punches Stalin*
*Nicholas II enters*
Nicholas II: Wow! So this is how a government shutdown works...
Putin: Ha! I bet this is how Clinton and Gingrich handled there shutdown...
Messenger: *Sees Peter's, Catherine's, and Stalin's bodies on the ground*
Messenger: Um... What happened here...
Gorbachev: Nothing Important What's the news!!!!
Nicholas II: No! Gorbachev, don't turn to the crazy side!
Alexander II: It's too late, I'm afraid...
Messenger: We discovered Feudalism! Oh and we founded Yakutz!
Alexander II: So, your happy... right?
Gorbachev: 3, 2, 1!!!!!!!!
Mansa: I want to be your vassal!!!!!
Gorbachev: Dang! Your not the right person! But I accept
Mansa: Hooray! We continue our ancient tradition of being vassal states
Putin: Not that smart if you ask me...
Gorbachev: Yes! Your the right person! Capitulate Now!
Saladin: Um, I came to tell you I wouldn't
Gorbachev: Do it now!!!!
Saladin: What's up with him...
Alexander II: We're currently experiencing a "government shutdown" Only 3 of us our functioning
Saladin: If that's true, then you guys must have been in a shutdown since the first day I met you...
Nicholas II: Admittedly, that's probably true...
Gorbachev: Well I want a vassal! You will turn! War Weariness!
Battle of some random Arabian Plain tile!
1 Russian Chariot vs 1 Arabian Axeman!
Saladin: Ughhhh... I'm not feeling so good!
Gorbachev: Yes! It's working! More War Weariness
Battle of some random desert tile!
1 Russian Chariot vs 1 Arabian Axeman!
Saladin: I'm feeling weary.... I agree to be your vassal
Gorbachev: Yes! I win! My plan worked! Take that society!
Alexander II: Should we vote to attack someone else now...
Alexander II: I'll agree! That's already 2/3 majority
Messenger: We build the Maussoolliem of Mausssoleeiosis
Putin: Are you sure that's the name?
Messenger: Um... I think so, we don't have dictionaries yet! Anyways, it was built for Gorbachev
Gorbachev: Good work! Now, for my new evil plan!
Alexander II: Dang! He's not going back to normal...
Siberia looks so sad and alone
Eh, don't worry! The Persians and Mongols will get it
Christos and I-----> <----- Russia
The Maussoolliem of Mausssoleeiosis is really an awesome place
Also: Christos and I = Stalin and Putin
That actually is a pretty good fit
I guess that makes me Nicholas II then
Then I am the most Epic Russian... We'll see who that ends up being.
Update Coming... in two hours Anyways, when it comes, let's just say it will have a mention or two about epicness....
Subbed. Great story
Update I'm trying image hosting websites for the first time
*Qin Shi Huang enters*
Qin: HI! I'm from China, we have the coolest painting of a wall in the world! Just look behind me...
Qin: Anyways we'd like Sheep for 3 GPT
Ivan: Sure, Mr. Stolen Wall Art!
Qin: WHAT DID YOU SAY! YOU DARE DENY OUR ART PROWESS
Catherine: Awfully defensive about your art
Qin: Our Paintings rule!!!! I hate you Russia!!!!
*Qin trips Ivan and leaves*
Ivan: What the heck!
Gorbachev: Ok stop you two. My evil plan is all falling into place! Vote for who to attack, and I vote Persia
Nicholas II: Sure
Alexander II: I agree
Peter: I agree
Catherine: I'll vote persia
Gorbachev: Yes Evil Plan moves forward!!!
Peter: On With Ancient Tradition!!!!
*Cyrus falls from the sky, lands right next to Peter*
Cyrus: Ow!!! What the heck just happened...
Peter: I declare war on you!!!!
Cyrus: Whatever, there is a reason that our special unit is called the immortal. And besides, we want revenge for you stealing the Mausoleum of Mausolos!
Stalin: It's the Mausssoleiim of Malsieons. Shouldn't you know how to spell your own wonders
Lenin: FEAR our Cru.... EXPEDITION!!!!
Battle of Pasargadae!!!
6 Russian Maceman, 1 Russian Crossbow, 1 Russian Chariot vs 1 Persian Swordsman, 1 Persian Axeman, 1 Persian Archer, 1 Persian Catapult
Casualties: 2 Maceman
Cyrus: We ain't givin' up yet!
Gorbachev: Oh well, click the next turn button and we'll see how you feel then...
Cyrus: Statue... scary... feeling sleepy... I'll capitulate!
Gorbachev: Hope you guys are taking notes. Statue of weird god guy makes leaders scared
Lenin: *writes in notepad* Got it!
Messenger: We just founded... *Lenin interupts him, walks over, whispers something and hands a $5 bill...*
*Messenger rushes out with a marker and pen*
Messenger: We just founded LeninIsEpicgrad!
Catherine: What! You must be kidding! I demand the truth! LENIN!!!! I AM THE MOST EPIC!!!!!
Messenger: *Rushes out*
Gorbachev: For the record, you all hide in fear of my evil plan epicness
Alexander II: For the record, thanks to you guys, we will never know the name of that city...
Eat North Africa.
Lenin is Epicgrad!
I guess I'm Lenin. CRUSADEing is fun, anyway.
Crusading on the Epic scale is OVER 9000!!!!
What about expeditions
My EPIC/Swag SCALE:
Rodent Heads and Anti-Spam Spray: 100,000,000,000
METY, Lelouch, and PrinceofPersia: 8,000
Separate names with a comma.