The Sound of Drums - A British Hearts of Iron II AAR

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Right.

I am not abandoning this AAR, I'm not ignoring this AAR, but I am completely uninspired when it comes to writing this AAR. I really don't want to force out an update, as I'll simply be unhappy with it (as I was the last one) and that'll simply put me off more. I will return to this at some point, and almost certainly in the next month or so as other projects and real-life stuff cool down. I'm not going to promise an update, as - and I'm not sure you've noticed this - I'm actually pretty bad at honouring those promises. I know, it's crazy!

If you want to discuss AAR stuff, feel free, but please don't keep asking for updates (except via User comments/PM's or frikkin-Steam-like-PrinceScamp-likes-to-do) as it fills up this thread and makes me a little more unhappy as I can't do anything about it. Thankee

One last thing:

He has Football Manager now....... he's busy.

I'm halfway through the season and I'm doing remarkably well compared to what I normally do. I'm coming for you

 

[Darth_Pugwash]

Understood Kan, you shouldn't try to force it or feel obligated. I do look forward to future updates however.

 

[Jos Ballenbak]

I understand...

 

[Maniacal]

Update pl- *THWACK*

 

[aronnax]

Im sorry Kan...

I'll be good!!
So... Whats going on in the Mediterranean...

 

[steviejay]

I'm halfway through the season and I'm doing remarkably well compared to what I normally do. I'm coming for you

I edited my game to make it a bit more realistic. By the end of the first season I had £35m from champions league and what not. so I took £20m off, just to give the game a bit more realistic.

But back on topic, take your time old chap, fighting a war can be most terribly hard on the old soul. The Parliament's been spending the summer at Blackpool don't you know? Apparently Hitler's not got round to bombing it yet.

 

[rabidveggie]

Take however long you need. Gives me more time to plan my coup d'etat, er I mean surprise update party.

 

[Maniacal]

Oooh update party! I like parties!

 

[rabidveggie]

Sitting alone behind an oak desk Rabid took another swig from the glass sitting on his table thinking back on the last few months. Despite Britain being in a life and death struggle with the forces of fascism the news around parliament was scarce. No new updates of the war or new measures had been enacted in months, most of the population had forgotten it was even in a war. Action had to be taken swiftly or else the nation that controlled half of the world would find itself controlling none of it. The country needed a strong leader.

"The nation needs me." Rabid muttered to himself while taking another swig of tomato juice. It was rather embarrassing really, at this time of night he should really be drinking something harder, or at least tea, but he had always been different.

His thoughts turned back to Britain's plight, he had dispatched a master assassin to deal with the Prime Minister, three months ago in fact, but had heard nothing since then. How long does it really take to kill someone? What if he was discovered and the interrogation lead them to me? These thoughts swirled around Rabid's head as he downed the rest of the glass of juice.

*Ring, Ring*

The telephone awakened Rabid from his thoughts. Who would be calling at this hour, the bloody phone hadn't been used for... three months. He picked up the phone and as soon as he did the voice on the other side whispered quietly, "The deed is done, The Khan shall breath no more."

Relief, that was what Rabid was feeling as the full impact of the statement reached his mind. He wondered what suit he should wear for the funeral. How he would appear both sympathetic and sad while at the same time put himself forward for the now empty post. PrinceScamp may have heard too much earlier when he had been muttering to himself about overthrowing the government, that could look a little suspicious. No matter the hardest part was done now all that was required to finish the deal with the assassin.

Rabid spoke quickly and confidently, "You have my thanks, and the nations gratitude. Now how much was the agreement again? 50,000 pounds I seem to recall. A small price to kill a Prime Minister, why it took you three months, and required a plane I have no idea but a deals a deal."

"Well how long did you expect, traveling to Mongolia takes more then a couple days, not to mention avoiding Soviet agents along the way." the assassin responded.

"Wait, Mongolia? As in Asia's Mongolia? Why would the Prime Minister be there?" Rabid stuttered.

"Prime Minister? That's an odd name for The Khan, Mongolia's crime boss." the Assassin coolly responded

Rabid sat perfectly still, his feeling of elation was now turning to fury until he could no longer contain it and he screamed into the phone "Are you telling me that right now you're in Mongolia and you haven't killed the Prime Minister? Instead you've killed some crime lord on the other side of the planet?"

The assassins voice remained calm as he answered back, "Well this is embarrassing, listen there seems to be a bit of a mix up here. Now unfortunately I have a no refund policy, but I'll gladly kill the Prime Minister at half price which leaves the price at around 1,000,000,000,000 pounds."

Rabid screamed in anger and threw the phone against the wall smashing it, but not before the words, "is that a no?" escaped from it. Not content he flung his chair through the window adjacent from him and flipped his desk. Finally, after calming himself, he thought back on what had just transpired. It looked like he wasn't going to be Prime Minister anytime soon and a simple glass of juice wasn't going to placate him this time. He wondered if Gin and Tonic had gone to sleep yet and if he kept his liquor cabinet locked.

OOC: Sorry that was so long but I was bored. Sorry to anyone who checked here thinking Kan was updating again.

 

[Maniacal]

OOC: YAY! Uodate!

IC:

PrinceScamp stands on his balcony in Tunis, glaring across the ocean at Sicily. It had been months since any major offensive had happened, indeed, it seemed as if the war had ground to a halt. Ballenbak laboured away on building the giant cannon that was pointed at Sicily, which, despite have tens of thousands of soldiers, was taking a very long time to build.

 

[GinandTonic]

There are times, Gin thought as he reached for the single malt, where the situation is so dire, so unmitigatedly gloomy that there is simply no cocktail for it. His had paused over the crystal tumblers for a moment before, in light of the Brigadier's humour, taking a plainer water glass. As he pulled out the stopper a distant crash came from the Brigadier's office. Perhaps best to take the bottle then? Taking the bottle with him he wandered off in search of the source of the commotion, pausing only to ask a Lieutenant peaking fearfully out of his office if he could be so kind as to get onto housekeeping and have them send a repair crew first thing in the morning, and dont worry old man, they know the drill...

 

[Jos Ballenbak]

Seagulls were screeching in the busy harbour of Tunis. I observed the unloading of the material required to construct the massive cannon we were working on for a few months now.
There was much delayment in the construction of this cannon which could fire across the ocean, this was primarily due to my habit of shooting POWs in the leg when they werent working fast enough. In front of the court-martial I just stated that my trigger-finger worked automaticly on lazy Italians and zombies, luckily they were satisfied by my explanation allowing me to continue my work.

Blast them Germans, I screamed back in my room. Why wont they attack!?? And at that moment it suddenly struck me...
I sprinted to PrinceScamps office, knocking the guards out of the way. Jos, what are you doing here? Why arent you tormenting the lives of those spaghetti-eatears, PrinceScamp asked?
Sir, I might have discovered why the Germans are not attacking us. According to my intel sir, the Germans are trying to BORE US TO DEATH!!! The air in the office went cold for the first time ever as I smacked my fist on his table. And again I smacked my fist on the table and another time, hoping it would make me seem more intelligent...

PrinceScamp leaned forward knocking his bubblehead Churchill on the floor and he said,
Jos please carry on with building the massive super uber duper cannon, and dont bother me with your stupidity...

Sorry sir, and I left the room. Damn I thought I was really on to something.

 

[Maniacal]

PrinceScamp leans back in his chair and continues glaring at Sicily, while absent-mindedly drawing up plans for fun things to do to keep the soldiers entertained and placing a large order of blank bullets for Jos.

 

[aronnax]

Cigarette smoke float in wispy clouds above the a room of leather armchairs and gentlemen. A Johnny Walker Blue in one hand, Aronnax drinks down his little bundle of joy with a hearty grin on smacked right across his face. Adjusting his monocle, he blissfully orders another glass. "Ah my only friend in these lonely times." He whispered flirtatiously to the crystal glass. "I love you and you only Johnny..." He took another sip and then realised how it sounded like.

Folding his newspaper, he scanned the articles for news on the war. "Ooh! Half off Blueberry scones!" His search was fruitless though, but ever since the Japanese stop possessing the ability to animate, there was really nothing else to do. He flipped to the next page..."Commander PrinceScamp shoots another torpedo at the Island of Sicily. It misses." It was the first piece of news about any form of military aggression, even if it was out of pure boredom. Aronnax continued reading... "WAIT What? Since when the hell did the British Army invade French-Vichy held Tunis???"

 

[Maniacal]

PrinceScamp glares at the Isle of Malta. It had once again thwarted his attempt to attack Sicily, this time by blocking the torpedo he had ordered launched. And by ordered he meant accidentally sitting on the big red button that fired the destroyer's torpedoes.

Unable to gain the go ahead to occupy Vichy-France held Tunis, PrinceScamp had taken to renaming Tripoli 'Tunis 2', and was now contemplating moving Malta 10 miles to the east.

 

[Serutan]

You know, if we could get that giant cannon to fire rounds into the crater of Etna, mayhap it
would trigger an eruption...

 

[Jos Ballenbak]

Wait, what!? Why the hell have I been speaking french all the time!?

Damn you Italy.......

 

[Maniacal]

You were speaking French? I thought you were just a little addled from too much time in the sun.,

 

[Jos Ballenbak]

If I was addled from too much time in the sun, its because the British army doesn't treat its soldiers well, where is my sunblock, where is my cool ray ban sunglass????

Nobody seems to know these things around here....

 

[Maniacal]

I gave you an old Pith helmet I found in the supplies, you just never wore it. And drink more water!