The Sun King - and his machine gunning chariots

[ashmizen]

I was not a God, a Diety, not yet. As the mortal ruler of Egypt, I was still just a King. Not any King, of course, but the Sun King, ruler of the Nile, builder of Pyramids!

Well, I plan to build Pyramids, at least. When I get around to it. But first, I build my first city, Memphis, in Egypt. This is a Large Earth, with the Real-locations mod so that all civs start in the correct location.

From the start, I notice I already border Sidon, which occupies what would be Isreal, to my north east.

I start out sending my warrier to scout, and building a scout. After the scout finished, I started on a worker. I notice that most of my tiles are either flood plains or desert. Beyond two forests, I had no production to speak of. But between rivers and flood plains, my people will have plenty of food at least! Not sure how I can get my lazy people to build anything though, especially since I no longer have a whip.

My scout runs through Sidon's territory and explores the Middle East. Persia is here, and to north is Russia. Meanwhile, my warrier discovers I am not alone in Africa - Songhai is here. I think he looks kinda scary.

Meanwhile I have teched to the Pyramids, and begin work on it immediately. My worker starts to build farms on my already rich lands. The Egyptians will be a populous race!

I also buy a settler, and send him south along the river. There I find a location full of flood plains, rivers, and cotton (?)! I didn't know cotton grew on flood plains, but we are joyous. I tell my advisors to make clothes out of the cotton, of the dull, low-quality variety and give them to the slaves in Memphis. They can wear it while building the pyramids! They will be so happy.

 

[ashmizen]

So, my advisor told me that our second city is Memphis, and our capital is actually called Thebes. Whoa! That's news to me.

My second city, Memphis finishes with a monument, while Thebes is still building the Pyramids. Construction is so SLOW, I told the construction manager tell the slave bosses to whip them to go faster! Unfortunately, they told me due to labor unions and whatnot, this was not allowed. I didn't know what a labor union was, but I was very unhappy. Spent the entire day whipping him personally. Apparently that is allowed.

My wise men have returned with the secrets of the wheel! I dunno what a wheel is, but the wise men claim they can greatly speed up travel, and we can build roads.

I told them we didn't need roads, the slaves can just carry me, but how did this help me DESTROY my enemies?

So now Memphis is building a War Chariot. I can't wait to find out what it is. It has WAR as a part of its name, so it must be good.

 

[ashmizen]

My scout reports finding lands known to the locals as "Europe". Rome, Germany, and Greece all have one city, but the English already have 2. London is in England, and York is in France. There are also the city states of warsaw and bucherest. Having explored Europe, my scout heads east.

Meanwhile, my warrier finds Cape Town at the southern tip of Africa. They fish or something, so maybe later they can provide Egypt with some food. I eat a lot, ok? Building a Pyramid is hard work! My poor slaves work so hard and eat so little, I feel bad so I try to eat more in their stead.

 

[ashmizen]

My war chariots have arrived and they are great! They beated off some barbarians and then sacked their camp, and I promoted them to be better at shooting enemies on flat ground. We have nothing but flat deserts in northern africa, so I suspect it will be a good choice.

My control of the land around Memphis is poor, so I decide to awe the locals with a stonehenge! Two wonders, at the same time? Yes, sir!

 

[ashmizen]

I have learned writing! The wise men are excited, and they ask for a "library". But since it didn't contain 'war' in any part of the name, I said no.

Sadly, we recieved news that another civilization has built Stonehenge already. We cannot proceed any further on our own, something about "copyright infringement". We did sell our half completed Stonehenge to some undisclosed buyer. I wondered who would be interested in buying a half completely stone structure, much less have the ability to move it, but no one was able to answer me.

Instead, I ordered a monument to be constructed in my honor.

I realized I had two social policies saved up, so call my advisors to see which policy to choose. I told them that having been beaten to Stonehenge, I was very afraid someone might beat us to the Pyramids, so I wanted to know what was the best policies to implement. They explained to me that Tradition was the best choice. If we had an Aristocracy, where I made all these very advisors and wise men rich and powerful, it would let me build the Pyramids faster! I'm not sure how exactly that would work, but I'm sure they would never lie to me. I almost agreed right then and there.

Suddenly, the doors to my palace burst open, and Paco, my nephew, and also the fine warrier I placed in charge of the Sun Chariots, rode in on a golden chariot. I thought there was only one golden chariot, the one for the Sun King, me, kept for the day when I lose enough weight to get on one. He must have made another to copy his great uncle, that silly kid!

He suggested that Honor, not Tradition, was the most important thing. I was impressed by his shiny sword and I think the advisors were too, cowering in the corner. He's right, I always liked war, so I agreed.

He talked about something called the Warrier Code, which I didn't really understand, so I told him to go handle it.

After he left the advisors and wise men all told me I made a bad choice, but I think they were just jealous of his awesome sword. Ah, what a nice kid!

 

[ashmizen]

So, I asked an advisor about our standings, and I was told we were second to last. I'm not worried; I'm sure that will change once my glorious pyramids finish!

The kings of both Persia and Songhai sent word that thought my military was small and worthless. Concerned, I appoint Paco to be my military advisor. He advises me that Songhai and Persia are very dangerous and have much larger armies. On his advise, I also order the army of warriers to come back to Egypt to help defend it.

 

[ashmizen]

The Pyramids are close to being finished! It'll only take another hundred years or so, so it won't be long now.

No doubt already jealous of my yet-to-completed Pyramids, Songhai declares war.

Memphis starts building another army of war chariots. With my brave army of Sun Warriers and Sun Chariots, I'm sure I'll crush the uncivilized Songhai!

 

[ashmizen]

Oh, its horrible, Memphis is burning! Or so I hear, from my super-safe location in Thebes.

The Songhai massed five, FIVE armies of warriors and two armies of archers on the borders of Memphis, and then poured into the flood plains, burning farms as they went.

Paco bravely traveled down to Memphis and took charge of the situation. What a nice lad! He emptied our treasury and hired another army of chariots, aptly named the Death Chariots, and ordered our Sun Chariots to take position on the side of the river and fire at the enemy from a safe distance. With the city and the Sun and Death chariots raining death on the enemies, our Sun Warriors tried to hold their ground.

Their massive numbers, however, soon overwhelmed the Sun Warriors, and they were cut down to a man. Their archers also fired fire arrows into Memphis, setting parts of the city on fire, but for now the city holds.

Memphis finished construction of the war chariots, so now we have three armies. I fear, however, that it is not enough.

 

[ashmizen]

Situation Report from Paco: grim

We have managed far to pick off only 1 enemy unit, an archer, thanks to many turns of city bombardment.

Memphis is burning. Half of the city defense are gone. If three enemy warriors and an archer attacked it the same turn, it could be taken.

Paco has come up with a bold plan. Instead of killing enemy armies, which will open the way for a fresh army to take its place and attack Memphis, we will weaken the three armies surrounding Memphis evenly, so they will be too weak to take Memphis.

This plan worked.

Their three armies that surround the city are wounded, 2 of them heavily. Each day, our chariots, sitting safely on the other side of the city and river, rain death upon them. Each night, instead of sieging the city, they sit outside, resting their wounded, replenishing their numbers. Two warrior armies camp in the distance, at full strength, waiting to charge in.

Alas, the newly, fresh chariots that were just trained in Memphis made a grave mistake. With only two spots safe from the enemy warriors that surround half the city, one inside and one on the direct opposite side, these chariots tried to circle around and fire at the warriors from a flank.

Only a wounded warrior could reach it, so Paco gambled that the wounded warrior would rest. Alas, they attacked, and we discovered that the magnificant war chariots melt at the slightest touch! Whenever their swords touched any part of the chariot, the entire chariot bursts into flames, roasting the driver and archer alive. Big design flaw.

My Army:
Sun Chariot (3 upgrades)
Death Chariot (1 upgrade)
newly built war chariot (dead)
Sun Warriors (dead)

Songhai:
Warrior (4/10)
Warrior (6/10)
Warrior (8/10)
Warrior
Warrior
Archer (9/10)
Archer (dead)