The weirdest thing you were ever told...

[warpus]

I was working at UPS at the time.. Was on my daily run, dropping off the last package of the day.. Rang the bell..

This chick opens.. she's wearing full-body scuba gear, for some reason.

There is a long awkward pause, and then she just goes:
"I have no gag reflex, wanna see first hand?", out of nowhere.

In the background I could see a pile of packages.. and behind it, bodies..

so I made up some lame excuse and got the hell out of there...

 

[Snowball]

What detergent do you use? Your clothes smell like my ex.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

dear jerks,

This thread has potential. Lets not turn it into a crappy little lets-make-comments-to-allude-to-the-fact-that-we-have-gotten-tail-before-in-our lives-in-between-making-little-comments-to-feed-betor's-attention-whoreism festival!

love,

Fifty Q Fiftyson, esq.

 

[JohnRM]

"Can I give you this?"

Some teenage kid in black pants and a white shirt said this as he shoved a Jesus Comic into my hands. It wasn't the creepiest or weirdest thing, but it happened today, so I thought I'd post it.

 

[Tee Kay]

Mostly it's me who says the weird stuff not the other way around

 

[BaneBlade]

Hey come on,
I swear I'll erase my tight schedule, only to have time for you!

dear jerks,

This thread has potential. Lets not turn it into a crappy little lets-make-comments-to-allude-to-the-fact-that-we-have-gotten-tail-before-in-our lives-in-between-making-little-comments-to-feed-betor's-attention-whoreism festival!

love,

Fifty Q Fiftyson, esq.

Too late, you should have posted sooner!

 

[b etor]

what the chopsticks.

ohyea, weirdest thing i was told. well one that i can think of right now,
some oldish guy was in front of me and my brother at disneyworld in line for a ride and he says "you have beautiful earlobes, how old are you?".
it was very WTFish.

 

[Swedishguy]

A girl once told me that she found it weird that I was smiling at nothing.

 

[Phlegmak]

A girl once told me that she found it weird that I was smiling at nothing.

I find it weird that you smile at nothing.

And America hates you too.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

I find it weird that you smile at nothing.

And America hates you too.

Haßen can also be "to have."

 

[warpus]

Haßen can also be "to have."

That's haben.

haben = to have
hassen = to hate

ß = ss

 

[Hundegesicht]

Weirdest lines were probably spoken by myself. I was a party, and had 9 shotgunned beers, half a flask of whiskey, homemade beer, vodka mixed with Red Bull, and some wine. I was pretty smashed, but still coherent for about 5 hours. Then, I felt really really really tired, and lay down on the floor. Now, the next thing I remember was waking up, lying in the bathroom, vomit on the walls, vomit in the toilet, out of it, on the floor, on my face, on my shirt. And, Voodoo Child by Jimmi Hendrix was playing really really loud in the backround.

My friend walks into the bathroom and says "Jon, what happened!?!?" And my response was ". .. .. .. ., man, Jimmi Hendrix came in here are barfed all over me, have you see the phone?" "You just barfed all over yourself" "No man! Jimmi Hendrix just barfed all over me man, it was terrible, the guy's a real jerk... have you seen the phone? I need to call him man, Jimmmi Hendrix just barfed all over me.." -this went on for quite a while. The thing is, I can remember saying all of this perfectly, but I can't remember throwing up, even now.

Second weirdest thing. I was walking with a girlfriend of mine in Toronto, Canada, and this one guy came up to me and told me to keep away from computers. "Why?" "You two will get married in five years, but computers will steal years from your life, man, keep away from computers." And then walked off.

 

[Narz]

dear jerks,

This thread has potential. Lets not turn it into a crappy little lets-make-comments-to-allude-to-the-fact-that-we-have-gotten-tail-before-in-our lives-in-between-making-little-comments-to-feed-betor's-attention-whoreism festival!

love,

Fifty Q Fiftyson, esq.

Fifty disapproves of anyone who distracts from his own attention-whoreism.

 

[Ansar]

"Could you do me?"

She actually meant, "could you do me a favor", but I just laughed.

 

[Mirc]

"Could you do me?"

She actually meant, "could you do me a favor", but I just laughed.

That reminds me, here in Romania "to pull ourselves" means to have sex, in a vulgar way of saying it. But in the same time, "to pull something of ours at copy" means to make a photocopy of something of ours. So there was this girl at my school, saying "Mircea, do you have the scores we need tomorrow for choir?". I say "No.". She says: "Let's have sex" (with a very confident voice, like if she was ordering me to do something ).

Anyway, we both laughed at that, I laughed just as she was saying it, and she laughed 1 second after, when she realized herself what she said.

 

[BaneBlade]

"Could you do me?"

She actually meant, "could you do me a favor", but I just laughed.

Oh yeah, in Martial Arts class:
Me: "Shall we?"
She: "Sure, I'll do it with everybody."

 

[robo-snickers]

"is that as big as it gets!?"

 

[cubsfan6506]

Its more like this for me "It doesn't fit." Jk.

 

[Dezzilisk]

When my technology teacher said "What the time is?"

When we replied it was 3 ocklock he turned and yelled "blair! JEEESUS! where my screwdriver is!"

it was so awesome

 

[Angst]

"is that as big as it gets!?"

>.< ouch!!

Edit: Or was it her first time or something?