This is why Jeff Foxworthy will never run out of material

DBear

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The Houston Chronicle

Ark. funeral wake turns into brawl over beer
© 2009 The Associated Press
April 3, 2009, 2:52PM

Magnolia, Ark. — Sheriff's deputies say a Texas woman started a brawl at a wake in Arkansas when she arrived with a beer can in her hand.

Anna Sindelar, 52, of Splendora, Texas, faces a third-degree domestic battery charges, as does Cynthia J. Hall, 46, of Magnolia, over the fight March 29. Deputies say Sindelar arrived at the Christies Chapel Church with a beer can in hand and that she refused to leave.

Sindelar allegedly grabbed a man by the face, leaving scratch marks on his lower right cheek and causing him to bleed. Hall, the man's mother, then allegedly slapped Sindelar and kicked another woman in the chest.

A sheriff's report claims Sindelar became "passively aggressive" with deputies and said that "no backwood country cop" was going to take her to jail.

The jokes just write themselves...
 
Hold on. Theres a lot odd events in this story.

There was a wake in a church? A person drinking was unwelcome?

Also, the methods of assault are really weird. Grabbed by the face? Kicked in the chest?
 
Hold on. Theres a lot odd events in this story.

There was a wake in a church? A person drinking was unwelcome?

Also, the methods of assault are really weird. Grabbed by the face? Kicked in the chest?

Yes, these are unusual. Drinking at a wake has never been an issue at the ones I've attended, and I've never seen a wake that wasn't in a funeral home.
 
Yes, believe it or not, alcohol is typically prohibited at fundamentalist churches. Many even use grape juice instead of wine for the Eucharist.
 
Leave Chuck Norris' mom out of this - He might be listenin'.
 
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