Tongue in Cheek UUs

[Inspector Javert]

We all love poking fun at each Civilization by making tongue in cheek UU's so lets dedicate a thread to it here are a few of mine

France
French Gunman
Surrenders immediately to any attacker and becomes a worker for the attacker

America
Gay Bomberhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb (NOT being homophobic follow the link)
Drops a bomb that forms a rainbow over the enemy units... and nothing happens.

 

[jimbob27]

How about the experimental "Anti-tank Cavalry" for Poland?

Base strength of 3, with 150% retreat odds.

British Infantryman. Base strength varies between 5-25, depending on whether the army bothered to issue him body armour, or whether his SA80 breaks down or not.

American Infantryman. Base strength 25, but cannot identify the nationality of other units. All other units appear as barbarians, except the British ones, who appear as bright red glowing barbarians with bullseyes on their backs.

 

[Leif Roar]

Football Hooligan -- English, replaces warrior. For every Football Hooligan present in a non-English city beyond the number of garrisoned military units in that city, the city gets one unhappy.

 

[Shadondriel]

Leonidas -- Greek, replaces great general. Can be heard all across the map.

Spoiler :

THIS IS
SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3rd tank -- American, replaces tank. Requires: Tank 1, Tank 2. Description: because the first two never work.
Don Quijote -- Spanish, replaces knight. Can replace windmills with ruins.

Technology
Modern Education: Reduces your science output by 90%, makes your citizens demolish buildings at random.

Religion
-Internet Culture
Requires: Hollywood, Internet
Religion will spread at random.
Chuck Norris wins the game, if more than 50% of the cities have it

 

[blitzkrieg1980]

American: Mercenary. Only available upon founding Blackwater corporation. Base strength 30. Can attack all units, friendly or enemy, and can reduce population in cities (-1 per turn)

Chinese: Tiananmen Square protester. Base strength 1. Can only be attacked by tanks. Good for SoD defense.

 

[Sofista]

Italian GG. Reverts back the unit he's aggregated to, and every one in the same stack, to the preceding unit on the technology progress tree.

 

[Bushface]

Fakir - Indian
If attacked, climbs rope and disappears, leaving bed of nails making tile impassable to all except Air units.

Tourist - American.
Movement 3: must move every turn: gives +1 gold in every foreign city visited.

Flying Carpet - Persian (of course)
Cannot be attacked by melee units: obsolete with Machinery.

 

[blitzkrieg1980]

American: Televangelist. Available when Mass Media is researched. Replaces Christian missionary. -25% Science rate in the city the unit is used on. Spreads Christianity further. Exacerbated if Theocracy is your religious civic.

 

[Supr49er]

American: Ugly American Replaces scout. Annoys every territory and civilization he enters. Causes -3 relations.

 

[AlessioCerci]

Italian tanks which only have a reverse gear.

 

[Tweedledum]

Ottomans (Turkey): - Kebab Shop Owner. Gives -1 health in any city it enters.


Khmer: - Khmer Rouge. -75% population all cities. Resets turn count to zero

 

[SlipperyJim]

American:
Chuck Norris = 255 strength, 4 moves, 10 first strikes, Commando promotion....

Russia (Cold War):
Communist Workers = replaces regular Worker, but takes 4 times as long to build anything
"In Soviet Russia, coal mines dig YOU!"

Russia (post-Cold War):
Gangster = replaces corporation executive, takes over any corporate branch office to eliminate all benefits of the corporation and redirect all profits to the Russian Mob

Rome:
http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z43/frob2900/Posts/praetorian-1.gif
(credit to frob2900)

English:
Austin Powers = replaces regular Spy, 50% discount on espionage missions against a rival empire with a female leader

Japanese:
Ninja = replaces Crossbowmen, insta-kills any Melee unit except for Chuck Norris

 

[blitzkrieg1980]

^^^Yeah, Chuck Norris get's +1000% vs. melee units, mounted units, archery units, gunpowder units, siege units, and naval units. Upon getting combat V, the Norris Flight promo is available which allows Chuck Norris to attack air units. And then, the Roundhouse Kick promotion which gives +50% collateral damage.

 

[DrewTate]

American - Civilian of the greatest, most powerful, and richest country of all time. Therefore the citizens work harder and are smarter in American cities.

 

[Nickzilla]

Civic - Delusional Racism

Makes citizens believe they are somehow genetically superior to those outside of their man defined borders. +10% production, commerce but 1 for every 10% of foreign culture within the civs borders.

 

[TheLastOne36]

How about the experimental "Anti-tank Cavalry" for Poland?

Base strength of 3, with 150% retreat odds.

We never charged tanks with horses... Please listen to this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p67IVwRUilc

Infact, russia and germany used horses more then poland.

 

[Enigma256]

how about a "car thief" for Poland?

automatically disables all motorized enemies inside the cultural borders


oh, and a new "Mafia Corp" for Italy.
costs money, kills population, hurts production and spreads by itself

 

[TheLastOne36]

how about a "car thief" for poland?

automatically disables all motorized enemies inside the cultural borders

Nah, our cool minitanks which we charged panzers with are better!

 

[antracer]

"Not necessarily the UU's.." but some new GP's...

The "Not So" Great Artist: Gives civilization $39.95 Gold per week from starving artist sales.

The Mad Scientist: Allows civ to build One Unique unit from parts of all units available to them at their current tech level. The Special Unit destroys anything it comes in contact with, and is best deployed near your enemies border. The Special Unit can only be soothed by the female spy and certain female leaders. It will turn against it's creator civ if it gets slapped around by Catherine.

The "Great" General: All units get +100% retreat, unless in a battle they cannot win. Enables Promotions: Suicide Charge I,II,III... ( -20% chance of victory each level... ) guaranteeing units will die for no good reason.

I spy: Special spy unit capable of special spy mission in the enemy capitol. Engages enemy civ's leader in a game of 20 questions, distracting him/her long enough for you to take control of their empire and instantly win the war.

Natalie Merchant: Available on hit records... causes +1 , -2

Great Engineer: Causes +1 ... cuz his train is on time....

Tim

 

[Inspector Javert]

Al Gore
Stops and reverses all global warming

Manbearpig
invincible requires (Worker, Pig, and barbarian bear)