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U.S. Navy Bewildered By My Generation And Its LOLCAT-Centered Rituals

Stewbert 08

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The U.S. Navy has been caught FLATFOOTED by a recent anti-surge in recruitment rates.

What's the reason? Wired got their hands on an in-house research presentation:

The MySpace generation is a "somewhat alien life force," a Navy recruiting presentation contends -- with a language and lifestyle that's almost unrecognizable to adults. And because the kids are such "coddled," "narcissistic praise junkies," they'll be beyond tough to bring into the military. Propensity to join the armed forces among these so-called "millennials" has dropped to as little as 3%; that's down from 26% in 2001.

Entropic Memes uncovered the bleak, often unintentionally hilarious report from the Annual Navy Workforce Research and Analysis Conference, which also glumly notes that the Iraq war has brutalized recruiting efforts. Up to two-thirds of millennials are "less likely to join the military" because of the war, according to the presentation.

alienlifeforce.jpg

Yes, that's right. The transformation of the U.S. Navy from "Cruise around world on patrols designed interdict hypothetical East Asian aggression, all while earning money for college" to "Actually risk your life in the Persian Gulf for a reason only George Bush can explain" has nothing to do with lower recruitment, it's that we're a "coddled" and "narcissistic" generation.

The typical kid today "has always been online," and "has never known a world without digital phones." Because of that, he a worldwide social network; his "best friend may be Chinese," the report says. "Teens are creating new forms of social behavior that blur the distinction between online and real-world interactions -- and largely ignore the difference between the two." The dual life is "creating a whole new language." The presentation warns recruiters that they're liable to experience more than "just a generation gap" with today's kids. To older military types, the youngsters will appear to be "a somewhat alien life force."

The Navy has a Chinese fetish for the same reason that the Air Force had (nah, still has) a Russian fetish. They just can't wait to duke it out in the straits, huh? And now OUR KIDS ARE BEING BRAINWASHED by sneaky Chinese "instant messaging" technology!

To be able to speak to these creatures, the presentation offers some handy translations, like "suuuuuuup!!! (Translation: What’s up?)." It also invites recruiters to make sure they know about emoticons, Napoleon Dynamite, Bolt, "Brangelina’s baby," and the Black Eyed Peas.

Continuing, the report advised recruiters to ask teens if they'd seen the "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" and "Evolution of Dance" videos yet, and what is UP with that dude Leeroy Jenkins? O RLY?

Srsly Napoleon Dynamite? That's like, 2004. By 2009 the Navy will be addressing potential recruits as "bro" and reassuring them about the disciplinary procedures.

The report also notes important cultural distinctions between the youth of today and the youth of yesteryear. Kids live such busy, structured life, that they often use "planner before middle school." They are also unusually tight with their "active, involved, 'helicopter' parents."

These "kids grew up hearing nothing but praise, all the time, everywhere. Recent childhood has been defined by ego-stroking... [They] can get disgruntled if not praised for simply 'showing up' at work," according to the report, which calls the millenials "a 'coddled' generation."

All of which makes today's youth particularly unlikely to join the armed forces. The "military [is] not on kids’ radar," according to the presentation -- college is. The report quotes an unnamed teenager, as saying "(If I join the Navy) I’d miss out on having the excuse of being a college kid and being irresponsible."

The Iraq war has only discouraged millennials further. Up to 32% say it has made them "less patriotic," and up to 67% say they are "less likely to join the military."


Dude, if you want me to be honest? Most of us can't wait until the Idiot Boomer vote dies off and we can start returning this country to competent, policy-centered governance like every other friggin first world industrial democracy.
 
There is, perhaps, nothing more annoying than an old fart trying to use "modern lingo" and hopelessly failing. I can just imagine some 50 year old recruiter saying "suuuuppppp bro! Wanna w4tch Napoleon Dynamite vids on Youspace an talk about our sweet new killer app recruitment? Gosh!"
 
I really wouldn't want the Navy going after idiots who can't be bothered to communicate coherently.
 
I really don't want to see internet fanboys in the military. The last thing my sanity needs is a bunch of soliders going around like a bunch of online Halo players.
 
Yes, that's right. The transformation of the U.S. Navy from "Cruise around world on patrols designed interdict hypothetical East Asian aggression, all while earning money for college" to "Actually risk your life in the Persian Gulf for a reason only George Bush can explain" has nothing to do with lower recruitment, it's that we're a "coddled" and "narcissistic" generation.

Two things. Its just unimaginable that if you join the military you might have to risk your life. :rolleyes: And secondly, do you happen to know how many US Navy personnel have lost their lives in the Persian Gulf?

The Navy has a Chinese fetish for the same reason that the Air Force had (nah, still has) a Russian fetish. They just can't wait to duke it out in the straits, huh? And now OUR KIDS ARE BEING BRAINWASHED by sneaky Chinese "instant messaging" technology!

Dude, if you want me to be honest? Most of us can't wait until the Idiot Boomer vote dies off and we can start returning this country to competent, policy-centered governance like every other friggin first world industrial democracy.

Dude...most idiot boomers are democrats. If anything the younger generation is going to be even more conservative.
 
I agree that the younger generations are coddled a lot. Kids think they have a right not to be talked to like a recruiter is going to, because they've grown up in a social environment where kids can sue their parents for spanking them, and the teaching of personal responsibility is at an all time low. If people are incapable of taking responsibility for both their own actions and their destiny, and don't really know what it means to bite the bullet, or "take it like a man," if you will, then how can they ever hope to reach full maturity, even as they progress into their twenties and even thirties with that attitude?

To put it quite simply, the military doesn't make men, it carves them, but if they don't have something to work with, to start from, they can't do a whole lot. This generation by and large isn't cut out for the military.
 
I agree that the younger generations are coddled a lot. Kids think they have a right not to be talked to like a recruiter is going to, because they've grown up in a social environment where kids can sue their parents for spanking them, and the teaching of personal responsibility is at an all time low. If people are incapable of taking responsibility for both their own actions and their destiny, and don't really know what it means to bite the bullet, or "take it like a man," if you will, then how can they ever hope to reach full maturity, even as they progress into their twenties and even thirties with that attitude?

To put it quite simply, the military doesn't make men, it carves them, but if they don't have something to work with, to start from, they can't do a whole lot. This generation by and large isn't cut out for the military.

Brilliant post. But its not just the military they aren't cut out for. Its most of the work force period. So many actually think they are above a honest days work. Spoiled brats.
 
I think people underrate this generation as a whole and the worst part is:

It's the kids that are doing it.

People are attacking their own frigging generations seriously people have been . .. .. .. .. .ing about kids as long as the human race has existed. And we seem to be doing fine...
 
Brilliant post. But its not just the military they aren't cut out for. Its most of the work force period. So many actually think they are above a honest days work. Spoiled brats.

Why thank you. :)

I work in a resturaunt, whose workforce is populated mostly by teenagers and young adults, I'd say probably 80-90% are below the age of 24. Everyday I'm amazed at the horrible work ethic people have, especially the younger ones: no pride in their work, no pride in themselves (a sharp uniform is a hassle for them). To borrow a phrase, actually, from a Navy memo from WWII found in my local Naval Air Museum: "those who smile and say "yes sir" and do the dirty jobs as if they liked them make themselves eligible for NCO status."

To continue further down that line of thought, I find that, even in the environment of the resturaunt, there exist obvious divisions along job lines in the morale of people. For example, while the servers, hosts and hostesses, and dining area people tend to be the real whiners and slackers, it seems the cooks and kitchen crew are the more "mature" of the bunch. It's very rare to hear a cook complain about a "dirty job," or really being assigned any job, they just say "yes sir" or "how much, sir?" and do it, as that Navy memo I referenced earlier said, "as if they liked it." I can safely say that I mark becoming a cook as one of those things that has really influenced my growth and helped to define me as a person.
 
Well, I will go as far to say its not the kids fault...its their baby-boomer parents.

I mean really. If we are so worried about our kids self-esteem that we dont have winners or losers in kids athletics, that we eliminate activities like dodge ball because its 'too violent' - its the parents that are turning their kids into these whiner-babies we have today. The reason they have no work ethic is that they never have to work for anything....its all provided for them.

I swear, when I hear about these t-ball programs that dont even keep score because they are afraid of what losing a game will do to little Billys psyche, it just drives me nuts.
 
Well, I will go as far to say its not the kids fault...its their baby-boomer parents.

I mean really. If we are so worried about our kids self-esteem that we dont have winners or losers in kids athletics, that we eliminate activities like dodge ball because its 'too violent' - its the parents that are turning their kids into these whiner-babies we have today. The reason they have no work ethic is that they never have to work for anything....its all provided for them.

I swear, when I hear about these t-ball programs that dont even keep score because they are afraid of what losing a game will do to little Billys psyche, it just drives me nuts.

Every kids should feel shame in failing. Every kid should feel pride in success. As it is now they see neither.
 
Well, I will go as far to say its not the kids fault...its their baby-boomer parents.
I didn't want to point the finger, I thought it would be a bit too, well, cliche to blame it on our parents, but it is true. Not universal, but very true.

I mean really. If we are so worried about our kids self-esteem that we dont have winners or losers in kids athletics, that we eliminate activities like dodge ball because its 'too violent' - its the parents that are turning their kids into these whiner-babies we have today. The reason they have no work ethic is that they never have to work for anything....its all provided for them.

One could also make the case that such is the natural evolution of both society and technology; as we get new technologies that make our lives and jobs easier, the hard work that was needed to acomplish them before falls to the wayside, the sad part is, so does the work ethic that it fostered. I mean, how do you think the manual farm workers felt when their sons bought that confangled new invention the "tractor?"

I'm not trying to justify the decadence our generation extolls, simply to give it context.

I swear, when I hear about these t-ball programs that dont even keep score because they are afraid of what losing a game will do to little Billys psyche, it just drives me nuts.

This actually happens? :eek:

Wow, there's less hope for humanity than I thought.

Whatever happened to "you lose not when you fall, but when you don't get back up?"
 
Every kids should feel shame in failing. Every kid should feel pride in success. As it is now they see neither.

I disagree one should feel shame in failing. Failing simply means you get back up and do it again better. If you did your absolute best and still failed, there is no shame in that.
 
Even the kids don't like the fact that they're being coddled.

Oh I love being the progeny of Asian parents. We still believe in that work ethic. In fact, we probably take it to new extremes! :lol:
 
Even the kids don't like the fact that they're being coddled.

Oh I love being the progeny of Asian parents. We still believe in that work ethic. In fact, we probably take it to new extremes! :lol:

Yeah...when I hear of some person dying because they played video games for 3 days straight its always an asian. :p
 
I disagree one should feel shame in failing. Failing simply means you get back up and do it again better. If you did your absolute best and still failed, there is no shame in that.

Maybe shame isn't the right word.They should feel what ever it is that makes you get back up. But they should feel something. Instead its just "Meh what ever" (Apathy?)
 
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