Stewbert 08
Prince
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2007
- Messages
- 591
The U.S. Navy has been caught FLATFOOTED by a recent anti-surge in recruitment rates.
What's the reason? Wired got their hands on an in-house research presentation:
Yes, that's right. The transformation of the U.S. Navy from "Cruise around world on patrols designed interdict hypothetical East Asian aggression, all while earning money for college" to "Actually risk your life in the Persian Gulf for a reason only George Bush can explain" has nothing to do with lower recruitment, it's that we're a "coddled" and "narcissistic" generation.
The Navy has a Chinese fetish for the same reason that the Air Force had (nah, still has) a Russian fetish. They just can't wait to duke it out in the straits, huh? And now OUR KIDS ARE BEING BRAINWASHED by sneaky Chinese "instant messaging" technology!
Continuing, the report advised recruiters to ask teens if they'd seen the "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" and "Evolution of Dance" videos yet, and what is UP with that dude Leeroy Jenkins? O RLY?
Srsly Napoleon Dynamite? That's like, 2004. By 2009 the Navy will be addressing potential recruits as "bro" and reassuring them about the disciplinary procedures.
Dude, if you want me to be honest? Most of us can't wait until the Idiot Boomer vote dies off and we can start returning this country to competent, policy-centered governance like every other friggin first world industrial democracy.
What's the reason? Wired got their hands on an in-house research presentation:
The MySpace generation is a "somewhat alien life force," a Navy recruiting presentation contends -- with a language and lifestyle that's almost unrecognizable to adults. And because the kids are such "coddled," "narcissistic praise junkies," they'll be beyond tough to bring into the military. Propensity to join the armed forces among these so-called "millennials" has dropped to as little as 3%; that's down from 26% in 2001.
Entropic Memes uncovered the bleak, often unintentionally hilarious report from the Annual Navy Workforce Research and Analysis Conference, which also glumly notes that the Iraq war has brutalized recruiting efforts. Up to two-thirds of millennials are "less likely to join the military" because of the war, according to the presentation.
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Yes, that's right. The transformation of the U.S. Navy from "Cruise around world on patrols designed interdict hypothetical East Asian aggression, all while earning money for college" to "Actually risk your life in the Persian Gulf for a reason only George Bush can explain" has nothing to do with lower recruitment, it's that we're a "coddled" and "narcissistic" generation.
The typical kid today "has always been online," and "has never known a world without digital phones." Because of that, he a worldwide social network; his "best friend may be Chinese," the report says. "Teens are creating new forms of social behavior that blur the distinction between online and real-world interactions -- and largely ignore the difference between the two." The dual life is "creating a whole new language." The presentation warns recruiters that they're liable to experience more than "just a generation gap" with today's kids. To older military types, the youngsters will appear to be "a somewhat alien life force."
The Navy has a Chinese fetish for the same reason that the Air Force had (nah, still has) a Russian fetish. They just can't wait to duke it out in the straits, huh? And now OUR KIDS ARE BEING BRAINWASHED by sneaky Chinese "instant messaging" technology!
To be able to speak to these creatures, the presentation offers some handy translations, like "suuuuuuup!!! (Translation: Whats up?)." It also invites recruiters to make sure they know about emoticons, Napoleon Dynamite, Bolt, "Brangelinas baby," and the Black Eyed Peas.
Continuing, the report advised recruiters to ask teens if they'd seen the "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" and "Evolution of Dance" videos yet, and what is UP with that dude Leeroy Jenkins? O RLY?
Srsly Napoleon Dynamite? That's like, 2004. By 2009 the Navy will be addressing potential recruits as "bro" and reassuring them about the disciplinary procedures.
The report also notes important cultural distinctions between the youth of today and the youth of yesteryear. Kids live such busy, structured life, that they often use "plannerbefore middle school." They are also unusually tight with their "active, involved, 'helicopter' parents."
These "kids grew up hearing nothing but praise, all the time, everywhere. Recent childhood has been defined by ego-stroking... [They] can get disgruntled if not praised for simply 'showing up' at work," according to the report, which calls the millenials "a 'coddled' generation."
All of which makes today's youth particularly unlikely to join the armed forces. The "military [is] not on kids radar," according to the presentation -- college is. The report quotes an unnamed teenager, as saying "(If I join the Navy) Id miss out on having the excuse of being a college kid and being irresponsible."
The Iraq war has only discouraged millennials further. Up to 32% say it has made them "less patriotic," and up to 67% say they are "less likely to join the military."
Dude, if you want me to be honest? Most of us can't wait until the Idiot Boomer vote dies off and we can start returning this country to competent, policy-centered governance like every other friggin first world industrial democracy.