love on first sight, 1990 ASM (german print mag) preview teased a new dimension of fictional immersion in grand strategy (hex games were long ood) - the ultimate hegemony exclusivly Kaiser (Ariolasoft, 1984) achieved partially, mankind to stand the test of time. a virtual frame for my narrative on humanity, like an UI to my inner fantasy plot, the relieve of an external manifestation of a long developed storytelling - history (is the ultimate story) written by me, like a dream come true. and so it begun, as every good story with an (already climactic) exposition, cuz the abusiveness of my legal guardians drove me out of their miserable home to the streets of Berlin. exclusivly the love i felt in my stories made me survive this ordeal of having no other future perspective than the next crash, my plots were always correcting history for the better, so the developing Räterepublik wasnt massacred by the SPD commanded Reichswehr (in fact, the SPD was responsible for re-arming militias, which later transformed into SA). at some point i found confidence in the economic opportunities of arising Berlin Underground to not just keep me financed, but prospering. although i was isolated in a bi-polar lifecycle of getting high to escape depression, to just feel more depressed the next day, so i fantasized on altering history to establish a society true to human rights. 3 sufficient years of intrinsical confidence to start over again somewhere else in the south at the age of 18, cuz i love sun, summer and happyness. 1994 the one very moment every love longs for finally dawned, a sacral, pure, almost divine experience - and i realised in my first defeat as Ramses, i ve grown to overconfident to choose Emperor difficulty. in desire for correcting historical mistakes i worked myself up the difficulty rack until i was civilized enough to unite mankind in the liberation from inhuman tyrants and finally stand the test of time. since then every issue was blockbuster, as those always felt like discovering a new, unknown facet on my love. 25 years later i know i rewrote not just a fictional, but also my personal history.