1. We have added a Gift Upgrades feature that allows you to gift an account upgrade to another member, just in time for the holiday season. You can see the gift option when going to the Account Upgrades screen, or on any user profile screen.
    Dismiss Notice

Welcome to RandomLand!

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by MaxWar, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Welcome to RandomLand!



    Hi everyone! Welcome to the fabulous world of RandomLand! A beautiful place of magic, wonders, lush landscapes and unspeakable atrocities!
    But more importantly: In RandomLand, We have Cows!

    As i write this, we are December 4th 2011 on planet earth. Considering this story is already over one month into going and has grown quite large and (I hope :p) quite popular, I thought it deserved a Brand new better Introduction!

    The main point of this overhaul is to introduce the new technology of Table of content!
    Btw, The original introduction containing all the game details is at the bottom of this post.

    Table of Content:
    Episode 1:A land of Cows!
    Episode 2:Mr.China Man and the scribe archers.
    Episode 3:Isaballa's missionary and the magnificent DearDeers!
    Episode 4:Attilla the puny
    Episode 5:Suleiman and the Cow! of Death!
    Episode 6:The vicious Victoria!
    Episode 7:Asoka gets angry:mad:
    Episode 8:Click the spoiler if you want to know!
    Episode 9:A leisurely ride.
    Episode 10:We adopt a new pet!
    Episode 11:Public enemy #1.5
    Episode 12:Fear my Helliphants SoD!!
    Episode 13:The fall of the cow!
    Episode 14:Things! happen!
    ...


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *Original intro*

    Been reading some stories here for a couple days and decided it was my favorite part of the forum so far. Good readings and also a way to learn strategies and improve your play in a fun manner! If you caught my very first post you have an idea of my background, which is all about being a new BTS player. But a not so new 4x games player :p

    Yesterday I just completed my fourth BTS game! And also my first win!
    I was playing Mansa, the monarch game ended during a nuclear war climax, with Gilgamesh having attained legendary culture. The bugger was likely a couple turns away from cultural victory, judging by the scary graph. But I managed a space race victory by the skin of the teeth, Fiew!!

    I decided to log my fifth game here in the glorious Civ4 - Stories & Tales subforum :D
    I really have no idea how this is going to turn out! :crazyeye:

    The fifth game is all about Randomness!

    -I keep difficulty at Monarch
    -Big And Small Random map
    -All default map settings
    -Random opponents
    -Epic speed
    -Random Leader
    -Absolutely no game plan, ill improvise!

    This is very risky! It is very likely my inglorious defeat will end up immortalized on the internet! Monarch difficulty is pretty rough and i am still not very experimented. I also just updated to last version 3.19 ( i was using version 3.01 before) and i have no idea what changes this is gonna bring XD. Also, random leader is pretty wild, im used to playing leaders with economical, my favourite trait. Moreover, its the first time i am gonna try EPIC speed, i always played normal. I do not even know what 90% of all the acronyms you guys are using on this forum mean, yet i will dare to Start a new game and post it here :eek:

    Without further delay, i will go play this game and make an update when a few centuries have passed!
     
  2. Tycho

    Tycho AFK Forum Warrior

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    3,240
    Eagerly awaiting! Also, if you are unused to Monarch... you are in for a rough time.
     
  3. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Episode 1: A land of Cows!

    Allright it begins!!

    In the year 4000BC i stumble into the unknown realm of RandomLand. I look upon myself and discover i am ASOKA! Spiritual and organized leader of the indian tribe.


    My village is set on a hill overlooking a large forest. Apparantly RandomLand has fertile soil and a lot of Cows! I send my trusty warriors to explore the area while we begin working on agriculture to take advantage of nearby Cows!


    I send my second warrior to visit the neighbor tribe at the west and we are taught the secret of THE WHEEL! We also discover a large flood plain, which might prove useful in future expansion.


    Apparently Cows! are important in RandomLand. While my first warriors are discovering more lands and more Cows! at the east. The other band gets into contact with a Big talking Cow! that is apparently the leader of one of our neighbor.


    Soon after i meet another kind of animal, it has lot of hair and red eyes, but otherwise seems pretty amiable. He apparently lives to the north. By then i am well on my way of acquiring my first fast worker and the required technology to use the Cows!


    By 3000 BC we are well on our way to finishing pasture on the second set of Cows! It took us 1000 years but the cows are pretty owned by now. We also in the meantime met more people: Mansa from a far aways place and the Chinese people right at the East. We are finding our backyard to be a pretty crowded place at this point so we work on the warlike technology of bronze working; in case we need to make room. More importantly, the China man has Horses! nearby. Because of its long cohabitation with Cows! My nation has grown a fondness for four legged animals and goes greedy about the Horses! The technology of bronze working might help us in securing Horses!


    By the time bronze working is completed, our fast worker has begun working on the road to Horses! Our trusty warrior is already waiting at the Horses! making sure the pesky China man does not get ideas before our first settler goes for the long Horses! grab. Only there by magic a juicy patch of Copper appear right at the south. After long consideration we consider it wiser to settle for Copper first. Of course we still start searching Horseback riding because We love Horses!


    We settle near the copper then to make up for the delay to Horses! we decide to rush another settler by chopping up wood and sending him to Horses! China man build another city nearby but the idiot still left room for us to grab dah Horses!
    We also start to work on a barrack.


    And YESSS!!! All your Horsez r belong to us!!


    There we secured the resource of copper and are busy chopping wood to pump out lots of Axemen quick. We feel threatened by our close neighbors and want to take advantage of our Axes for something else than wood.


    We promptly practice on something softer than wood once we discover how weakly defended is the nearby city that belonged to Suleiman.


    The city was ugly so we raze it. It is also on this occasion that my nation first came in contact with the yellow metal called Gold. The warriors immediately liked it and wanted more. But unfortunately we only have Cows! Horses! and Wood. So i send them to plunder the countryside while i pump out more Axemen.


    The capital of the Beardy man is well defended with its Hill + fortified bowmen so we decide to leave it alone and plunder the contryside some more instead.


    At the same time, and i really mean at the same time: we have a whole bunch of angry Axemen strolling up the Horse! road (to be) to say hello to Mr.China man. We think its time to show him we really mean to keep them Horses! for good.


    That will be it for now! But whats gonna happen next?
    What is gonna happen with the "Hello China" team?
    Will the Horses! road finally be completed?
    Will the total lack of gold production + over expansion + over military production stifle the Indian economy and research to total backwardness?
    Or will the angry lumberjack horde chop a mighty bloody blow in the face of history and reap the glory of the l00t!?

    To be continued, you and i will find out!
     
  4. Yoshiegg737

    Yoshiegg737 Jungo Jungo

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2010
    Messages:
    3,587
    Location:
    Canada
    Hey, your the guy that I told to come to S&T

    Welcome! :D
     
  5. Pommes Mit Mayo

    Pommes Mit Mayo Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    23
    Location:
    Germany
    Made me laugh so hard! :lol:

    Good job!
     
  6. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Yes, That would be me! :cool:
    I heeded the advice.

    Glad you liked the quote! It was totally random :goodjob:


    BTW : I played some more and things got quite interesting. Tomorrow ill try to advance a bit further and make a second update.

    Until then : Gutenacht!
     
  7. nightcreature

    nightcreature Ready to Pounce!

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    239
    Location:
    The Misty Meadow...
    Great job!
    like the randomness!
     
  8. MoreEpicThanYou

    MoreEpicThanYou The most Epic.

    Joined:
    May 5, 2011
    Messages:
    2,141
    Location:
    Not Canada :P
    COWS! The new P-words!
     
  9. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    In RandomLand we definitely love our Cows! and our Hores! too. eerm.. i meant Horses!
     
  10. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Episode 2: Mr.China Man and the scribe archers.

    Are you guys ready for another action packed episode from the awesome realm of RandomLand?

    In this episode: More pointless and silly talking of Cows! and Horses! We will also introduce a THIRD! animal but more importantly; Asoka develops his liking for looting and destruction a step further and unleashes his lumberjack hordes upon his unsuspecting neighbors.

    Here's what happened:

    In the first episode we concluded with a screeny of the glorious lumberjack horde marching toward the border with China. We were also just done researching the technology of Horse!back riding. It has come to our attention that it would possibly have been wiser to venture in the realm of hunting and archery first. We could not help it, our folk was too eager to learn how to ride the pretty horses! as Cows! do not like it when you try to ride them. It is not really going to matter in the long run though as we were too busy training axemen.

    In the following turn, Asoka receives some bad news from back home. The overlooking of birth control policies degenerated in overpopulation and civil disorder in one of our city! Asoka promptly corrects the situation by sending farmers to work in the mines and the insurgents soon die of famine. You can also see a band of archer scribes from Isabella. I allowed them in the territory so they can witness and record how i spread awesomeness through Randomland.


    While the mighty horde of axemen marches toward China, our early move of building a monument in honor of Horses! pays off. This is of great strategic value to Asoka who can now move close enough to the border to prepare a sneak attack.


    In the year 1300 B.C, also called turn 108 by some historians, the "Hello China" team is standing ready at the border. The idiot Qin Shi huang (aka Mr.China Man ) has left a vulnerable worker right next to my ready to move army. I will capture him as a bonus. You can also see Isabella's scribe archers rushing in to have a chance to witness the fateful events.


    I summon Qin Shi huang to tell him i am coming in to burn his civilization and reap the l00t.


    5 Axemen vs 2 archers = burning pile of rubble + 138 gold. Shangai is now history. I also ordered my trusty warriors to enslave the unsuspecting worker. All this only cost us 1 axeman and we have more coming. I was lucky there because i was helped by barbarians who softened the Chinese town defenses for me the turn before.


    In the meantime my Ottoman watch party hone their skills on the plentiful roaming barbarians. Better I than the archers up there in Istanbul.


    Same thing over at the nearly completed Horses! road, plentiful barbarians are nice enough to give my lumberjacks some training. Isabella's scribes arrive just in time to witness some Ludicrous looting!


    After thoroughly burning the countryside we hit a wall at the China Man's capital. Our tacticians devalued our chances of winning to just next to 0%. We are happy enough to move on to burn and loot some more instead. Just to make sure china stays prehistoric for some more time. We are also about done mastering Archery and the Horses! road is completed, we will soon start producing the very latest in military technology, Horse!archers!


    Here we are using the spoil of war to rush the research of Fishing, so we can start producing some yellow metal out of the water.
    In the meantime China starts pumping out swordmen in substantial quantity and attacks my axemen. I fend off the attacks not without some casualties and manage to burn some more farms. Having burned enough stuff for now, we offer him a Peace treaty. He obviously agrees.


    The action catapults my 3 surviving axemen out of chinese territory, near a northern pass that leads to an alternate way to our other buddy Suleiman. How... Convenient!


    At this point i cant help but to point out that RandomLand is a rather rich and plentiful place. Just look at all the goodies! :eek: It was a perfect landing place for a greedy megalomaniac. :lol:

    In the meantime we have been busy killing some barbs and producing some chariots over at the capital region. Our troops mess around a newly build Ottoman colony, trying to find a way in.


    Our brave lumberjack veterans attack their defenses and despite favorable odds only manage to bloody themselves. The survivors decide to camp here and wait for reinforcements. We also start researching the delicate art of pottery, which will somehow allow us to build tax paying suburbs around our cities. So far the spoil of war has allowed us to keep research fueled but we need to prepare for the future.


    Here we received results from a general survey of the world military powers, considering we have been busy pumping out military for centuries, the results are not really unexpected.


    By turn 125 our first glorious Horse!Archers are ready for battle. With their help we manage to burn to the ground the nasty settlement of Bursa. Sorry, forgot to make a screeny of the fateful event.



    In the year 775, our new army, led by the first Horse!archer prototype meets with the veterans from the China war. They merge together and decide they would make a glorious attack on one of the two remaining Ottoman cities. Of course, Isabella's scribe bowmen are here, out of their mind the idea of missing any of this!
    The city of Edirne keeps pumping out archers like crazy while the inglorious ottoman capital only has 3 bowmen keeping watch. They also have a band of workers trying to repair damage from our earlier raid.... But ... wait... what is it that i see???? Huge Four legged animals with big horns!?!! Helliphants! "QUICK!" Urges Asoka! Grab this Capital! We need them big pretty Helliphants! FTW!


    Highly motivated by their new found love of Helliphants! The Stack of Death moves toward the pathetic seat of Ottoman power.


    What must happens happened, it was a bloody battle and cost us many strong warriors, but Istanbul fell... Suleiman flees to the backward village of Edirne while we celebrate our victory and cuddle some Helliphants! The great event triggered the rise of a mighty general at our capital and some of our warriors manage to capture 2 workers from Suleiman, bringing our total Fast worker count to Six!



    We also celebrate the completion of Stables in our capital, other cities are following the example, preparing for the next wave of bloodthirsty hardened Horse!Archers that would terrorize the whole of RandomLand for centuries to come.



    Now, well, uh, this... was it not a crazy epic run for glory? I am pretty amazed by what we managed so far. But the underside of the medal is that India also has a few internal problems it needs to fix if it wants to compete with the other big guys out there who BTW have more points than us! :eek:.

    Ok what now: Population caps, no religions, need for more gold if we want to sustain research. Many difficulties are ahead. We also think it is time to expand from our own. Shall we build a settler to colonize the great flood plain at the west, or shall we sent them to gather the Colorful beads that grow in the mountains south of Istanbul? Those would allow us to raise population by +1. We shall call them M&Ms. Because they bring two things : Money&Merriness! Despite their unconditional love of Horses! Cows! and Helliphants! our folk are going to need more lovable things to stay happy and grow.

    What to do next will be an important decision, you guys can counsel Asoka with your wisdom, Asoka has not yet grown mad enough to totally ignore his peers.

    To be continued...
     
  11. Optical

    Optical The Fall of the Eleventh

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,734
    Location:
    Help me. I don't know where I am.
  12. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Many thanks! :D

    Yes i think we should go for the gems, my empire really needs luxuries. We are also going to have Ivory thanks to Istanbul. :)

    Also thanks for the acronym chart, i knew there was one somewhere. By now i had guessed a few of them but this will come handy. " Stack of Doom!" :lol:
    I thought it was Stack of Death :p
     
  13. Jwitti

    Jwitti Judas Maccabeus

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,895
    Location:
    Judah
    Soooooooo.... Monarch on the 5th game, eh? I assume you played Warlords and Vanilla...
    Anyway, Welcome to S&T from the resident geek. And I mean the type of geek who plays games like civ and memorizes the civilopedia and manual... and recognizes someone who is either German or is taking German, and I presume you are the latter?
    I also us big words. Quite often. I got a cookie for it!
    Oh, and nice story, I think I'll actually read more than the first update now.
     
  14. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    I never played warlords, i did play Vanilla CIV4 back in 2007-2008. At least 6-7 games. I like challenge, so that is Monarch for me and if i get steamrolled, its all good :D And i am also a kind of geek, but not the same kind as you, im more the DIY fixanything kind :p

    Anyway you are somewhat right about the German part, i guess my using of Gutenacht was a good hint uh? ;) If you are curious, i am actually a native French Canadian, aka a Quebecker!
    Back when i was in school i got exempted from the mandatory English classes for a whole year because i was scoring too high in the English tests. They left me with the choosing of an alternate language for replacement classes. As you guessed, i picked Deutsch!
    Now that is some years ago and never practiced since, but it left me with the habit of using a few German words here and there.

    Hope you liked part 2 of the story :D
     
  15. Tycho

    Tycho AFK Forum Warrior

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    3,240
    Good so far MaxWar, interested in seeing more. Doing better than I was when I first played Monarch.
     
  16. Jwitti

    Jwitti Judas Maccabeus

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,895
    Location:
    Judah
    Yup. Now I feel challenged. [Goes and plays a game on Monarch just cuz]
     
  17. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Hehe thanks, but actually this is not my first monarch game. In fact, i never played anything below monarch. My very first game i started immediately at emperor. When i first play a game, i always set the difficulty to high by default, it is standard practice for me as i find the challenge to be stimulating. No need to tell you however that i got thoroughly raped in my first game. :lol:

    I got more humble and downgraded to monarch by second game as emperor was WAY overkill, so this is in truth my fourth Monarch game. I still lost second and third games, but won fourth one! Can i repeat the exploit? last game i was much more conservative, had a golden start location, rexed like crazy, played the nice guy and won by space race.
    What is happening now in RandomLand is WAY more hardcore!

    Anyway glad you guys like my story and the way i managed things so far :cool:
    I admit i am pretty surprised myself. Everything went rather "too" smoothly so far. I am almost afraid to go play again in case i somehow start to screw things up and ruin everything. At the same time i am eager to continue, only tonight i had other stuff to do, with some chance i might me able to make a new episode tommorow!
    Stay tuned.
     
  18. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    826
    Location:
    In America's hat.
    Episode 3: Isaballa's missionary and the magnificent DearDeers!

    RandomLand! The wonderful world where historical facts are substituted by crazy talk of Horse! and Cows! A place of exciting action where semi-random things happen on a daily basis.

    On this brand new crazy chapter of the adventures of Asoka and his Indian merrymen: More silly animal! talk and once again... A NEW ANIMAL! ... but more importantly: some killing, looting and shameless display of slavery.

    Heres what happened:
    We concluded the last chapter after the sacking of Istanbul by our glorious troop. At this point, Isabella's scribe archers, after having witnessed the whole of Asoka's campaigns, left India to return to Spain. Here they would spread the glorious tales of Asoka's conquests. Our men really enjoyed their time with Isabella's scribe archers, they were a pretty funny lot and our guys considered them as buddies. We were also very intrigued by the foreign art of writing the scribes used. It inspired my nation in researching writing ourselves, to be as cool as the scribes.

    It should also be pointed out that we had launched a new wave of exploration to further map the whole of RandomLand. We began preparations for our imminent expansion in the jungles south-west of Istanbul. Our most immediate goal was to collect the colorful beads the grew there (aka m&ms)

    Having been reduced to a single village, the ottoman empire was not much of a threat anymore. We capture one last wandering worker then offer Suleiman some rest in the form of a peace treaty, we might still need him later.



    In the meantime however, the Pesky China Man had not yet grasped the fact that we DONT want him in our backyard. His ignorance makes him do stupid things such as building new cities in totally ******** places. Just look at this... Only word possible: "lol"


    Soon after, the resistance in the freshly conquered Istanbul is finally put down and productive activity can resume. We immediately claim the Helliphants! and start building a monument in honor of the pretty Helliphants! Our happy folk gains +1 merriness.


    Then Asoka received news that something major happened. One of our advancing exploration party had sighted something incredible. Some beautiful four legged angels of freedom running through the southern tundra. They looked a bit like Cows! and Horses!, but they were more independent and were harboring magnificent things called antlers. DEERS! "QUICK!" Asoka urged! "We need to go there at once! We are coming DearDeers!" And so the thought of the shiny colorful beads were completely forgotten and all available fast workers were ordered to go build a road toward the DearDeers!


    There, after millenniums of scribbling random stuff on rock slabs, mostly pictograms of Cows! and Horses! in various positions, our inventive people finally managed to discover the useful art of writing! Our genius thinkers also predicted that this art could lead with some further development to a possible way of writting big mean intimidating letters to our neighbors. The prospect persuaded Asoka to keep this as our research direction.


    The tales of India's glorious achievements spread like wildfire. After hearing the tales from the now well known scribe archers, Queen Isabella of Spain was very impressed. She immediately dispatched a missionary priest toward our land in an effort to get closer to our nation. Victoria the Cow! queen, after learning this, decides she does not want to be left behind and sends one of her own missionary.

    Considering the latest events, it was obvious we would have to chose our camp. The world was splitting between Isabella's religion and Victoria's. They both were coming with their offer. Considering Victoria is our immediate neighbor, hence and obstacle, we find it more likely to side with the pretty Isabella. We asked her what she thought about Victoria. She closed her eyes on our question, but we know deep inside she hates victoria...


    As expected Isabella's missionary flares up a wave of faith in our capital and the population pleads Asoka to adopt Buddhism as the official religion.
    "Not so soon my good people" is Asoka's answer, we have no immediate gain in adopting Buddhism and it might play in our advantage to wait a bit longer.


    In the fateful year of 440BC a cascade of events brought once again our nation in the face of an uncertain future. It is in this year that our settler finally arrived in time to build a new city near the DearDeers!


    In the same year, our new conquest force (aka "Goodbye China" team) is waiting for the imminent order to attack China once again. China's expansion policies could not be tolerated ( poor excuse for us needing more gold to continue research)


    But at this worst possible time... a terrifying horde of Barbarian Horse!Archers comes out of Nowhere right at our border and threaten to attack one of our city!



    Our army mostly being elsewhere, the city is left with minimal defenses (1 archer). In despair, Asoka is forced to sacrifice Half of the city's population in order to rush the training of some spearmen. Hoping against all odds that they will be ready in time... The local population is in mourning... Hearing the news, the troops on the front are devastated... but they cannot halt the assault of China for anything...


    Well this is scary...
    -Will the mean barbarians ( 4xHorse!Archer) be able to break in our city?
    -Will the "Goodbye China" team be successful in their planned ownage of China?
    -Will India finally adopts a religion and start deciding who is either friend or foe?

    To be continued...
     
  19. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Messages:
    783
    Great story! All heil RandomLand! :bowdown:

    Also, it only took you 12 games to get to monarch? Took me 80 :lol:
     
  20. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    4,874
    Huunnnnnnssssss.
     

Share This Page