God, I'm torn between Larry King, who could cause our enemies to voluntarily kill themselves after his umpteenth interview with Paris Hilton and the like, and Walter Cronkite, who I think has a hidden violent streak (pent up outrage from this decade and prior ones) that could play really well in our favor, if harnessed.
Cronkite - dead right?
King - terrible flatulence problem, bad dress sense, schmuck
O'Reilly - the kid on the playground who would have been a bully if he wasn't a weakling. Pinhead.
Ron Burgundy - a shade too aggressive for the Presidency. Right suits tho.
Harris Faulkner - who?
This was hard for me. Stewart or Colbert? I picked Colbert because his speech in front of the president. He's proven his strength. Plus I might not be able to look at Stewart with a straight face in any serious situation.
Amigo, I really think my generation needs to stage an intervention on your behalf. You are so out of touch with your own cohort's popular culture. We can't let you grow up to be the kind of bitter, middle-aged bald-yet-mustached man, who (in his current incarnation) spends his spare time putting up posters with statistics about how schools have gone down the drain since they took prayer out and put condoms in. (I guess your generation of Angry White Men will be talking about how Comedy Central ruined democracy.)
Colbert and Stewart are geniuses of hilarity, and your obnoxious bellyaching doesn't diminish their wit a jot.