Who is the most moral person in your eyes PART TWO

[Fuzzz]

This is based on another thread based on a thread startde by Masquerouge (see below), but this time the setting is a bit different.

We have two new persons:
#1 is someone your partner to be. He/she tells you he/she has had a lot of (sex)partners in the past and may not be able to change this sort of behaviour just for your relationship.

#2 is your partner with whom you have a longlasting relationship and who loves you very much. He/she cheated on you once, but is afraid to tell you because it will ruin your relationship. He/she swore to him/herself that he/she will never do it again, because she felt sick afterwards.

Both persons have had no STDs from their sexual adventures.

Which one is the most moral person, #1 or #2?

Who is the most moral person in your eyes?

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We have two persons.

Person A, who is not married, has a very active sexual life with lots of different partners. Person A is very upfront and clear about this, and all of person A's partners are fully aware of it. Person A does not hide anything about the multiple partners to anyone, and never trick someone into having sex by pretending long-term commitment. Person A has always been very careful about STD and pregnancy and has successfully managed to avoid both - neither person A nor the partners unwillingly got pregnant or got an STD.

Person B has been married for the same person for more than 30 years. Person B has always been faithful, except on one occasion, where Person B had an affair that was short-lived. Person B never told person B's partner about the affair, has always kept it a secret and has lied a lot to cover it. And again, no STD or pregnancies resulted from the affair.

Who do you think is the most moral person of the two?

To me what matters the most is not who you have sex with and how often, what's important is not lying, not deceiving and not cheating people.
Thus, to me person B is much more immoral than person A.

 

[StarWorms]

Either could be more moral, because #1 has done nothing morally wrong and #2 has, but sincerely regrets it.

 

[El_Machinae]

Don't bed #1 more than a couple times, else you fall in love accidentally. You'll have your heart broken.

 

[GenMarshall]

Eventhough I loath cheaters in my relationship. I would forgive person B more than I would with Person A becaue person B is actualy regretfull and willing to forgive her past actions.

 

[Truronian]

I wouldn't say either person is immoral... but I'd be more likely to go out with B.

 

[Brighteye]

I'd infinitely prefer person 1. Person 2 clearly doesn't know me very well if she thinks that if I know about an indiscretion it'll ruin our relationship.

What do people think about someone similar to person 1 but who keeps quiet about things? Who goes out with partners and never swears that they're the only one, but doesn't put too much effort into making sure that the partners realise this too.

 

[Phlegmak]

This time I don't think it's much of a question of morality. But rather, who would you rather be with. If you want to be in a monogomous relationship, then just don't be with #1.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I won't say person 1 is or isn't immoral (or rather, I will say she is and isn't, depending on whose definition of "moral" we are using) but at any rate will not involve myself with someone who is not sure she can be faithful to me. That is something I desire in a partner, but not everyone does.

Person 2 would have to be intentionally dishonest; in other words, I would tell anyone in a relationship with me that I would rather find out about any affairs from them than any other way.

 

[Atlas14]

Person #1 is neither immoral/moral based upon this information. They were not deceiving about their intent and relationships and future intents/relationships

Person #2 Actually I can't say would really care that much if person #2 didn't tell me, because I don't see how it would necessarily change my view of the person if I had no clue of what happened. If I had suspected something but person #2 had lied/not told to cover it up, then I would be dissappointed and feel let down.

 

[Kennigit]

#1 definitely for me. I see myself as more of an old-fashioned person with relationships, and I couldn't be with someone who cheated on me without frequently second guessing them (#2). I could do it, but I'd rather be with 1.


#1 is someone that I see as just someone that had past relationships, and she is willing to face any problem that was a result of those relationships. Besides, that relationship might only be short term, so if she can't manage to give up her behavior, I won't be given the sense that I had been betrayed or kept in the dark for a long time. Depends exactly how many guys shes been with though....

 

[potatokiosk]

Person #1: Hasn't done anything wrong yet. More likely to be unfaithful in the future but this isn't a guarentee.

Person #2: Has done something wrong, and tried to cover it up, but less likely to be unfaithful in the future.

So Person #1 is currently more moral (since you cannot judge someone by something they haven't done or tried to do yet) but Person #2 would be better for a relationship.

 

[robo-snickers]

there should be a number 3 for robo-snickers... so im making it now

so i vote number 3

 

[Raisin Bran]

We all are immoral .........

What is more of a fruit ... a apple or a strawberry?

 

[Aramazd]

I think there equal. Person #2 is sorry for what he did and I don't think that it should be held over him.

 

[mdwh]

#1 by a long shot. Even if he or she continues to do so - you've been told upfront.

Not everyone is a believer of monogamy. Cheating is about lying and keeping secrets, not about being non-monogamous.

 

[mdwh]

Don't bed #1 more than a couple times, else you fall in love accidentally. You'll have your heart broken.

...if you want to be in a monogamous relationship.

(And indeed, if you want that, having sex with him or her at all is probably not the best thing.)

 

[mdwh]

Person #1: Hasn't done anything wrong yet. More likely to be unfaithful in the future but this isn't a guarentee.

I don't see that the post implies he will lie in future. Admittedly, the "may not be able to" is a bit vague - it's better to be clear, and either commit to being monogamous, or be clear that you won't - it's not clear what situation is being described here. But still, it seems to suggest he's not making a commitment to be monogamous, and so even if he does have sex in future, that doesn't make it being unfaithful unless he lies about it or tries to cover it up.

 

[Rhymes]

I am myself close to a number 1 person, so I'll say number one is completely moral.
Number two sucks.

 

[Nylan]

Is there a reason why we are judging random nonexistant people? We don't have nearly enough information or wisdom to make an accurate decision, all we're doing is setting a "these people are good" and "these people are bad" attitude, a polarization.