thanks. I have this problem with my dad, as I will reiterate.
I respect the straightforward attempt but how to get past the filter? People will only devote X amount of energy and brain power, and if it's contradicting what they hold to be true, especially self-evident, they will dismiss it. Whatever you say has to penetrate that filter. I don't know how to penetrate a modernist's filter. You have to understand that you and I and Owen literally think in a different way.
My dad was born and educated in the east coast mid century, my mom a few years later on the west coast. My mom is a postmodernist, my dad is a modernist. My dad had all the forward thinking exposure possible, (artists, was a hippie) including a wife whose opinions he respects.
But after all these years he's still a modernist. He literally cannot think like a post-modernist. He can entertain a post modern thought, but he has no underlying intellectual structure to reinforce it and let it compare to everything else. In the end, it becomes mental clutter, so either he holds onto it like a rusting car in the front yard or he discards it.
Ideas like "grammar is arbitrary" rather than there being a "correct grammar" offend him. He thinks I'm quaint and childish when I demonstrate this but really it just scares him. And he just blurp blurp blurp shutdown-reboots.
In fact, the best thing to help him get it has been to explain that he is a modernist and his children aren't, what that means, and why.
abradley and Owen are talking skew lines. Owen is saying "the very concepts you are using are not valid unless you can define their precise meanings and then demonstrate why they are valid concepts". abradley tries to demonstrate more evidence that his thesis is correct, assuming that his concepts are already validated. It would be like the following:
abradley: one cannot say "I be the best, you must say I am the best" because that is wrong grammar.
Owen: the only rules of language are: do people understand as intended?
abradley: here, I have proof. Check out this Official Book of Language!
Owen: that book is as arbitrary as making Jamaican street English the standard.
abradley: look how all these experts throughout history agree with me.
Owen: those experts are making the same mistake you are.
What can you do? abradley thinks he hasn't shown Owen enough evidence to demonstrate his thesis. Owen, like the rest of us, has no idea what magic words he needs to inform abradley that the victors write history and make the rules and that doesn't make it correct, it just means that it happened that way. That all cultural phenomena are arbitrary and can only be judged according to arbitrary values most likely instilled into you by your own arbitrary culture.