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Why we (America) should just conquer the Lands of Canada

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Archbob, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. Archbob

    Archbob Ancient CFC Guardian

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    Donald Trump on route to solving the decades long problem of North Korea(at least he told me he solved it and there's absolutely no reason for me to not believe Donald Trump), has made a mighty enemy of the Country that borders us to the north along more than 3000 miles. Trump isn't a soft diplomacy type, he's more of a "Do as I say type" so I believe our best option is to conquer the lands of Canada and I will
    give well thought-out reasons below why I think it is absolutely necessary to our security and future posterity for us to send our mighty armies north and Conquer the lands of Canada. It shouldn't be that hard. In risk terms, we had about 50 armies and they have maybe 3, so it shouldn't take more than maybe 4 rolls of the dice before we achieve total victory. Here are the reasons why we should just conquer them:

    1. Most Canadians want to be Americans anyways -- Look, most Canadians live within 150 miles of the Border. This is because the majority of them cannot bear the thought of being any further away from the USA, the world's #1 country. They are practically begging us to invade and conquer them so they can be part of us. Think about it, most Americans don't live so close to the lands of Canada because we have no interest in being Canadians. There so much land in places like Nunavut, the Northwest Territories, and the Yukon, but no one lives up there. Why? Because its too far away from America and most Canadians don't want to do so far away from the #1 country in the world.

    2. We need to secure future farmland and food supply -- Global warming is happening. Donald Trump may not believe it, but its true. In a few decades the breadbasket of America like Kansas will have a massive dust bowl and start to resemble the deserts of our southwest. In a world that is perhaps 4 degrees warmer, the new breadbasket of the North America will be the great farmlands of Manitoba and Saskatchewan. If we don't conquer those areas, we won't have enough grain to feed our people and may have to rely on foreign imports for the basic human need of food. This is completely unacceptable. The only solution is the annexation Manitoba and Saskatchewan to ensure our future food supply and if we are going to annex those places, we should just conquer the rest of the country as well.

    3. Britain used the lands of Canada as a base in the war of 1812 to burn Washington DC and this must not happen again --- A foreign imperialist power, Great Britain, used the lands of Canada against the United States of America in the war of 1812 as a base and were able to issue armies from the lands of Canada to take our cities and burn our capital. To ensure that this never happens again, we must conquer the lands of Canada so foreign imperialist powers can't use it as a base to attack us.

    4. Donald J. Trump wants to become legendary -- Lets face it, the thing Trump cares about most is himself and his fame. Jefferson doubled the size of the United States through the Louisiana Purchase and is known as one of our greatest presidents. If Donald J. Trump can double the size of the United States by conquering the lands of Canada, imagine what that would do for his future fame. Also Alexander the Great is known as "The Great" because he conquered a vast empire and is now known and probably the greatest military leader in all of humanity, if Trump wants that kind of fame, he has no choice except to conquer the lands of Canada.

    5. The lands of Canada have valuable Mineral and Oil resources -- Lets face it, we're slowly tightening on resources and Northern Canada has Gold, Minerals, and resources that we need in the future. They don't have that many people so they don't need that much so we should take it anyways to ensure our future. All their base are belong to us.

    These are five solid reason why we should conquer the lands of Canada now and they are indisputable reasons, so why not skip all the pretty talk and just send our armies over?

    Moderator Action: Canadia changed to Canada throughout. ~ Arakhor
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2018
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  2. Hehehe

    Hehehe Chieftain

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    6. Trump will be able to negotiate some pretty nice trade deals with Canada once he's taken it over
     
  3. Commodore

    Commodore Technology of Peace

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    I approve of this plan and the reasons for it. Let's make this headline real:

     
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  4. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Another drone in the hive mind

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    7. It is highly inappropriate for citizens of the mighty USA#1to have to travel through a barbarous backwater to reach one of our own states. Canada, standing as it does between the rest of USA#1 and Alaska, needs to be annexed. Upon completion of this legendary conquest, we need to suggest to our illustrious leader that he then should conquer the Pacific in order to establish better access to Hawaii.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
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  5. El_Machinae

    El_Machinae Colour vision since 2018 Retired Moderator

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    Plus, as the song says "from sea to shining sea". Caribbean Sea already fulfilling the prophecy. But then the Labrador Sea is necessary to complete the claim.
     
  6. Darsnan

    Darsnan Chieftain

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    Actually its the Arctic Ocean we need to complete the claim/ want to aim for, because in about ten years all of the Arctic ice will have melted, and all those extremely valuable Arctic Ocean oil and natural gas fields are going to be available to be exploited, and in a world of diminishing resources these will be heavily fought over: can Canadia's RCMP stand up to the Russian Bear in this regard? Nyet! So then what better way to help our northerly friends than by taking them under our protective wing, so that they don't have to worry about such things as Russian aggression into the extremely important heartland of their Northwest Territories? Who knows, maybe we'll even let the Canadians have Lord Stanley back as part of the deal. :)

    D
    Arctic Front.png
     
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  7. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Another drone in the hive mind

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    Good point. We must conquer and colonize not only Canada and The Pacific Ocean, but the Arctic Ocean as well.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  8. Broken_Erika

    Broken_Erika Neurotic Panda

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    Hey! The russians are no match for the RCMP's genetically modified Polar-Ninja-Beaver Battalions. And don't forget, we have the Ultimate Superweapon: Nickelbieber. A diabolical psychological weapon consisting of Justin Bieber performing alongside Nickelback. While use of the Nickelbieber is banned under international law and the Geneva Convention, we will use it anyway if we are forced to....
     
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  9. El_Machinae

    El_Machinae Colour vision since 2018 Retired Moderator

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    The idea gives me chills!
     
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  10. Ryika

    Ryika likes cookies and milk.

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    If America wants to continue being taken seriously on the global political stage, there must be some consequences for the accusations that Trudeau has thrown at the American President. But I don't see why the Canadian People should have to suffer these consequences, just sending an armed force to relocate their politicians to Guantanamo to allow all Canadians to become American citizens seems to be a fair solution.

    I mean I don't know much about Canada, but if there's one thing I've learned from the Canadian Users on these forums here, then it's that they really, really want to become a part of America.
     
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  11. Darsnan

    Darsnan Chieftain

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    :lol: Oh that is good!

    And so to follow on, referring to the Arctic Ocean map I posted previously, since this will open a new front in the oil wars, then to paraphrase an old Wayne and Schuster skit a new consortium of nations will need to be created to counter the OPEC nations. Since this consortium will revolve around Canadia, the US, the Scandinavian countries, and Russia, who all play hockey, then it will be referred to as OPUCK.


    D
     
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  12. Thorgalaeg

    Thorgalaeg Chieftain

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    All America wants to be part of America.
     
  13. Synsensa

    Synsensa Warlord Retired Moderator

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    America with Canadian crime stats and healthcare would be pretty awesome. I'd love to be a part of that country.
     
  14. Broken_Erika

    Broken_Erika Neurotic Panda

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    As long as William Shatner is Declared Emperor of the United Provinces of America!

     
  15. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    Moderator Action: The mod team feels that Canadia is a derogatory term and should no longer be used. As such, the thread title and first post have been changed accordingly. Thank you.
    Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
     
  16. Darsnan

    Darsnan Chieftain

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    So I looked up the official Canadian Racial Slur Guide and I don't see that word listed there:

    http://www.rsdb.org/race/canadians

    I also lived on the Canadian border most of my life and I don't remember that word ever being used as a derogatory term towards our northern neighbors (and having played hockey against a host of them I am rather fluent in derogatory terms that I commonly used to enflame them! :) ). Can you point me to an external source (either here or via PM) as to why this has been determined to be a derogatory term?

    D
     
  17. TheMeInTeam

    TheMeInTeam GiftOfNukes

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    8. It's a mere matter of marching, and would be virtually costless.
     
  18. Ryika

    Ryika likes cookies and milk.

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    I fixed that for you, you can thank me later.

    /edit: A quick, non-representitive hashtag search for the word Canadia on Twitter shows a lot of American Conservatives who use the word as a negative term, and about three times as many Canadians who seem to be using the term as a "cute" version of Canada.

    In this case, that the term was used as a derogatory term seems self-evident, but you gotta have some real balls to tell Canadians that a word is now a derogatory term because Americans misuse the word. :D
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
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  19. Darsnan

    Darsnan Chieftain

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    Ah, OK. My bad. I don't do Twitter so wasn't aware of this. Thank you for the info Ryika. My previous comment is withdrawn based on this.

    D
     
  20. Synsensa

    Synsensa Warlord Retired Moderator

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    At the risk of PDMA, it's a derogatory term on CFC because it's been mostly used in the past to specifically troll Canadian members.
     

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