'You sunk my battleship!' moments!

[CorporateGoth]

We all know we get emotionally involved in the game, and take Civ AI's actions personally. So I'd love to hear what is the most flippant thing you've had an AI do that caused you to decide to wipe them off the map in direct response to this action.

I was playing a game earlier today and the Egyptians decided to build a city right in between my two cities - well away from anything else he had built. Right there and then I decided I was going to wipe him out (ok, I won by domination, so technically I wiped everyone out, but I wiped him out first because of this stupid city he built).

So first I connected my two city's territories and made sure that he could not get to his own units in peace time. Then I built up an army, and, after having this Egyptian ponce whine at me for building near his empire, I proceeded to demolish him. I made sure to raze that offensive blot on the landscape when I defeated him (I left it for last).

 

[zerotwo]

Only two so far from Civ 5.

In my second game, I earned the "Seriously!?!?" achievement. A few wonders BEFORE the achievement had popped up I could be quoted as having said: "Seriously!? ^%@$@ you Ramesses!"

Then during my last game (and possibly second win!) which is still on going, I had locked up an absolutely epic segment of a continent as Nebuchadezzar, put five cities well spaced along the same extremely long densely forested river.

I thought to myself... well, there's a strip or two of empty hexes along the coast away from my units, but nobody would settle on what is essentially a two-hex wide strip of plains and desert with no sea resources... right?

WRONG. %^#$%#@$%$##% YOU GHANDI! He has the entire top half of the continent I'm not going to be settling because I am going for a cultural win but the SON OF A ^%^@! comes down here and SETTLES A CRAP TOWN JUST TO SCRErjwgrenkelngkl2tn5k22@#@$@ RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

1550 AD, Ghandi is wiped off the face of the earth when I raze all four of his cities, having derailed my entire game-plan for revenge against his insult.

Heh.

Sorry.

 

[gunsnroses]

@zerotwo: love your anti-Ghandi rant

 

[Balkor]

My first Civ 5 game, Im playing english and I see a japanese settler, I warn him not to settle near my cities and he says ok, next turn.. he settles right next to my capital. I instantly declare war (Despite military advisors saying he has a better army) And i quickly wipe out two of his cities, he rage quits, giving me everything except his capital and I was like =D Im awesome.

Thinking japan was out of the game I could focus my army on the traitorous greeks (They kept complaining about japan and then cancelled all agreements when I went to war against them) I travel my army across the length of the continent and have my navy ready to bombard sparta at which point I get a message saying enemy near our borders. MY first thought? A simple barbarian, my 2 single archers defending all my territory would have no problem... Turns out I was wrong, i look at the map and there we have a huge japanese army sitting just at my borders and by the time I got my guys back from greece I had lost 1 city and all my workers =(

 

[jamo133]

my favourite and no dissapointingly best moment was on a map, of a standard continent with two other civs, India and the Ottomans, and I spawned next to a huge mountain range spanning spanning across the centre of the continent, over time I killed a citystate that its friend demanded I dispatch, then India got pissed off so I stuck fortified pikeman in the only two long mountain passes that allow passage to my side of the continent, Suleiman was just pootling along in his one city, I built a fortress in one, and a citadel in the other pass, whilst I created a caravel fleet to escort a large contingent of muskets and longswords going around the mountains through the coast, Dow'd withstood his retaliations and amphibiously killed all his units surrounding the city he had made adjacent to the city i had made on my side of the mountain range, before taking the city I moved my units further into his territory pillaging as they went, until suddenly he gave up completely, seeing how as I was steamrolling across his lands, fairplay, but it made me chuckle

 

[Abremms]

I played an epic (epic is in grand in scale and awesomeness, it was standard speed) game as Babylon on a standard earth map. I wanted to see how i could do as a small (4 city limit) civ with Babylon's scientific prowess and get a SS victory. by the end of the game, it was just me, a few allies i had liberated to be a buffer, China (who controlled all of africa and asia) and Siam who controlled the Americas. After putting up a truly epic defense against the entire might of the Chinese Empire, forcing them to look for victory elsewhere, and then dropping a nuke on Bejing to slow down thier space ship, I completed my last part.

It was one turn away from my capital when Siam popped a cultural victory.

I am going to start a new game and let Siam grow to a decent sized power, then BURN THEM TO THE GROUND.

 

[Louis XXIV]

I actually got angry at something the AI "said" to me. Rome attacked Vienna and I responded, forced him back, and he agreed to peace. Then, later, I attacked his ally (because the city-state thought I was "too aggressive" and declared war on me). Next thing I know, he's attacking Vienna again. I start to move a few troops to the area to act as a buffer and force peace. Then Augustus appears on the screen again. He says "I'm attacking your little friend, what are you going to do about it?" I tell him that he's going to pay and he just sneers at me. He almost got away with it, my troops arrived at the last second and I lost several great units (including my Scout Crossbow that I had since the beginning of the game).

So, yeah, I didn't accept peace until after Rome fell.

 

[Riden]

Well as a former die hard civ fan and strategist, now a casual fan, I can say that CIV5 is probably the best one out of the series and much more strategic. But I can also say that the AI are total pieces of

Alright, I was playing on Prince difficulty for my second run and my first full run of CIV5. I made peace with lots of city states, a couple civs, and was the top in military and economy. Then I get a message from my enemy of Russia saying I was a savage barbarian...I go to war.

An hour into the war, I have my riflemen stationed next to their capital with a great general...right next to the Captial(what was I thinking?). It gets KILLED...and apparently the city goes nuts with THEIR DARNED CANNONS. Kills about half my troops and I finally capture the capital...before burning a city I had that's still in rebellion to teh ground...

 

[Ladasaguy]

I just finished a continents, standard map game as the Arabs. Washington, Wu, Augustus and I were on a continent together and Washington drove me crazy the whole game! He is such a stuck up, annoying piece of hooey!
The best was shortly after he had obliterated Wu and Augustus and a few city states, I decided to take a city state of my own. Oh no! Washington stormed in, called me a war monger (Me? This was my first battle! Something about the pot and the kettle I think), and promptly declared war on me for my actions.
Two epic wars later, after grinding him into the dust, he came and threw most of his cities at me and I leveraged those cities to get a score victory over the massive English empire on the other continent.
Stupid Washington.

 

[fr3nchy117]

In one game as the English, I was at war with the Americans. It was going fine until one of their artillery one-shotted my one aircraft carrier with it's experienced airplanes.
I'm like "wtfseriously?!" ok, I know, I know, carriers are the essence of glass cannons.

Nonetheless if I'd had more time, I would've finished america off.

In the current game i'm playing as Chinese in the east indies on a huge earth map. America who is over in Europe says to me "your culture is so primitive, what do you guys do all day, bang rocks together?"
I nodded and smiled, simply cuz theyre on the other side of the world, but I promise you, he signed his death sentence with that.
Lol America must not like me.

 

[vdogamez]

Somebody plopped a city down over a resource I really wanted, in the middle of my territory. What? This will not stand! I then proceeded to fire around ten nukes in a single turn, all at his cities. (Except for the one in my area, I wanted to take that one.) Some other civilizations got angry at my nuclear Holocaust, so I declared war on them too. I then proceeded to nuke the rest of the planet leaving my territory the only region that remained suitable for life.

 

[fr3nchy117]

Somebody plopped a city down over a resource I really wanted, in the middle of my territory. What? This will not stand! I then proceeded to fire around ten nukes in a single turn, all at his cities. (Except for the one in my area, I wanted to take that one.) Some other civilizations got angry at my nuclear Holocaust, so I declared war on them too. I then proceeded to nuke the rest of the planet leaving my territory the only region that remained suitable for life.

lol OMGSH lolol brutality!

 

[Taiyama]

Somebody plopped a city down over a resource I really wanted, in the middle of my territory. What? This will not stand! I then proceeded to fire around ten nukes in a single turn, all at his cities. (Except for the one in my area, I wanted to take that one.) Some other civilizations got angry at my nuclear Holocaust, so I declared war on them too. I then proceeded to nuke the rest of the planet leaving my territory the only region that remained suitable for life.

You remind me a whole lot of Edna. "Then I built me a bomb and dropped it on every *expletive deleted* WHO GOT IN MY WAY!"

Frankly, the AI is absolutely GENIUS at p***ing me right off in this game. Twice I've gone to war with someone simply because they were moving their military units close to (and occasionally within) my borders and once because they settled a city three tiles from one of mine just to be obnoxious. It doesn't help that some of them will interrupt your game just to shout some silly insult at you.

 

[qyll]

I've declared war on neighbors for throwing insults at me in the early game. I never forget.

 

[Sable]

I've never played a Civ game until a week ago. NEVER. And now Civ has eaten my life, and one of the things that immediately struck me was how the AI pushes my damn buttons.

I'm currently playing as Alexander for a diplomatic victory, and Washington and Suleiman are extremely intent on taking my allied city states. I'm rather set on gifting the city-states frigates, and watching the AI deal poorly with naval units GRR. I'm just going to raze Washington to the ground, I think. Defending city-states is getting old.

 

[DefoesRightBoot]

Playing as the Germans on a huge Pangaea, the English are the closest to my little peninsula which is all mine other than Warsaw... but Warsaw owns the only Iron and Horses on the peninsula. So I conquer Warsaw, my only act of aggression in the game, but the English accuse me of being a warmonger and declare war, probably because I had a very weak army.

Sadly for them they didn't realise that I had massive gold reserves and a much more advanced tech than them... so I bought a load of cannons and wiped out their five cities within about ten turns. Thoroughly enjoyed that one, I can tell you!

 

[MickyLuv]

Somebody plopped a city down over a resource I really wanted, in the middle of my territory. What? This will not stand! I then proceeded to fire around ten nukes in a single turn, all at his cities. (Except for the one in my area, I wanted to take that one.) Some other civilizations got angry at my nuclear Holocaust, so I declared war on them too. I then proceeded to nuke the rest of the planet leaving my territory the only region that remained suitable for life.

Are there any ecological consequences for such delicious nuclear devilry?

(Aside from fall out I mean)

 

[CorporateGoth]

Are there any ecological consequences for such delicious nuclear devilry?

(Aside from fall out I mean)

He said he left his own territory alone - if he's crippled the rest of the world he can just go the space race victory, and leave everyone else with an uninhabitable earth

 

[Xichael]

Just built a fort using my Legion unit at a choke points between one of my cities and an Ottoman city (The only land route through from the South). Just concluded a war with him where I repelled him back to his cities but lacked the strength to break his border cities so made peace. The builds a city right next to the fort so I declare war and wipe him out =]

 

[waytofailself]

Kind of the other way around (Kind difficulty Fractal Map), but there's a happy ending:

I got dragged into a war with England in order to try and keep Germany happy. I'm on the tip of a fractal map going for a 3 city culture victory with ghandi. Eventually Germany and England made piece, but I refused to make peace with England because Lizzy kept demanding all of my money, all of my resources, and one of my cities. Why? because I was building culture and only had a few pikemen.

Well, eventually Germany and England go to war again, all this time with me at war. Doot doot doot, oh crap all of Germany gets eliminated and England has almost totally dominated the entire continent. I did my best to protect Germany's last city, which was on my border, with my few pikemen. But then I got the nice surprise...

as far as the eyes could see. CANNONS! MUSKETS! RIFLES! LONGBOWS! OH MY!

Did I say I had a few pikemen? After steam rolling Germany's last city obviously England set her sights on me. My units are one tier back. I've been teching culture practically the whole time. But what I do have is hills. Lots and lots of hills south of my capital making a slow slow choke point. I turned a great general into a citadel after my last pikeman died and for awhile I managed to defend my capital from a giant onslaught with a citadel, two crossbows, and the capital bombarding.

I killed every single one of her invaders. Amazing (and amazingly bad AI, if she had taken her troops and attacked me from the south and the west via the ocean she could have destroyed me. In fact, she barely went after one of my other cities, which is on the coast, and might not even know I have another city on the other side of the shore.

But it does get better. Elizabeth has a huge army. Her troops are far more advanced. She constantly refused to negotiate peace despite her throwing her troops at my line. I eventually got cannons, I eventually sent knights to take out longbowmen at the back. But when I got rifles myself England began to step back and concede the line. I couldn't liberate a city state that was just south of me that would make another buffer, but I did work down and overwhelm the occupied German city even though England's artillery was destroying my troops.

I took the city, then I burned it to the ground. There was nothing England could do. Then Alexander does me a favor and settles the open space. Unfortunately, he's now starting to get mad at me -- so I might be at war with him and England at the same time.

I hope taking and razing that city doesn't ruin the achievement, but whatever. England can ######## 3######3##

I promise I'm going for a cultural victory. I'm almost there!