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Your Mother was a hamster- A Napoleonic AAR

Discussion in 'All Other Games' started by Captain2, Mar 5, 2010.

  1. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Bonjour! I welcome you to witness our nation on the eve of its greatest victory, surrounded by enemies and as close to greatness as we frenchmen will ever likely get, lets make the most of it.



    France is truly a wonderful looking country, non? We are a nation of warriors and artists surrounded by merchants and butchers



    Speaking of the butchers, it appears we have our first mission....
     
  2. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    Kan Nelson of Britain shall never yield to the French dogs.
     
  3. e350tb

    e350tb Stupendously Illogical Englishman

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    Nor will The TBuke of Wellington!

    :D
     
  4. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    General PrinceScamp reporting for duty sir!
     
  5. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Finally! someone who isn't english

    Don't worry meis amis, we'll be blowing holes in the victory in no time
     
  6. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    No hablo francais, yo hablo ingles y espanol.
     
  7. Tee Kay

    Tee Kay Just a passenger

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    Österreich wird siegreich sein!
     
  8. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    Okay, look, at least you could GUESS what I wrote in espanol, I haven't the slightest bloody clue what you just said,
     
  9. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    While the French army is busy undergoing some reformation it seems the cowardly Austrians have decided to attack an unprepared French force in Italy




    Clearly luck has swung against the Austrians as the first shot from our cannons seriously wounds their general, leaving them to wander into battle without a commander




    Our French soldiers cleverly make use of the terrain and take cover behind trees to reduce their casualties, roughly evening the odds and withering the enemy down as they advance.




    of course things go wonderfully for our side, our oaky protection absorbing the majority of bullets until the enemy army is in full retreat.. of course elements of it manage to rally and cause our advancing troops a spot of trouble



    The Hungarian horsemen attack from behind and catch some of our infantry unaware, the army is spun around trying to deal with this new threat



    When the Austrian artillery rallies itself and blows a sizable hole in the French infantry formation before the group is turned around and charged into the artillery



    All in all the victory is hard won but still better than could be expected, This is the first victory the French Empire owes to strategic tree placement




    meanwhile the British royal navy begins harassing the ports of the Netherlands and our Italian allies crush an Austrian force, the French army will hopefully be able to aid them once the reformation is complete and our forces are capable of going forward
     
  10. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Spoiler :


    The first army out of the gate after the reformation is Michael Ney who decides to hit the Austrians hard in Bavaria, our former ally who has been occupied since the first turn.



    Whoa, it appears we're looking at an enemy with superior numbers, experience, terrain advantage and a general with more experience than Marshall Ney...




    Did I say he intended to invade Bavaria? Oh no, we meant to invade innsbruck, that thing I said earlier was just a mistake. The enemy in Innsbruck was of course very inexperienced, lesser in numbers and had no general at all

    Marshall Ney took innsbruck without a shot fired when the defenders surrendered rather than be killed.
     
  11. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    A glorious battle!

    Wait...what?
     
  12. Tee Kay

    Tee Kay Just a passenger

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    Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!
     
  13. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui!
     
  14. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    We're gonna be doin' one thing, and one thing only! Killin' Austrians!
     
  15. Karalysia

    Karalysia Chieftain

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    I don't believe my eyes....a Frenchmen fleeing from battle?
     
  16. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    We advanced in another direction, and successfully confused them. The capture of Innsbruck is only the first blow to Austrian morale and pride.
     
  17. Darth_Pugwash

    Darth_Pugwash wobble wobble

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    Count me in, Cap. :D
     
  18. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

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    This looks awesome.
     
  19. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Spoiler :


    I found myself presented with an interesting deal by the Prussians, being the only european power of any worth not trying to kill us they were interested in a trade of goods and knowledge. Surely we must eventually bring our revolution to them but until we're ready we may as well let Prussian money float our armies.




    Our attempts to cut off the head of the Austrian army in Bohemia have been met with failure when our spy fled the scene, he has since been given a ribbon for participation.




    We also found ourselves caught flat footed when the Russian army appeared and destroyed one of our allies, Marshall Pugwash has been dispatched to deal with the problem but as you can see his army will require some reinforcement as 240 Infantry is unlikely to do anything to those Russians.



    Emperor Napoleon has seen fit to cut back slightly on further military expansion until additional territories have been claimed after his accountants threatened to go all ides of march on him. As a result the French army has been restricted to a force under Marshall Scamp, Marshall Ney's Austrian invasion force and now a Russian-be-gone force lead by Pugwash



    However it appears the Austrians have decided to link up with the Russians and present an interesting situation to Marshall Pugwash, who due to military spending cutbacks will be sent into battle with a decent army but will be lacking a safe amount of cavarly

    Bonne Chance!
     
  20. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    The Austrians sprung into action against our Hero, However it appears as though they suffered from a lack of horses that would normally have been a death sentence for Pug's forces, I assume the Russians ate their horses while they were all waiting around Wittemburg





    The French however had a distinct advantage in artillery range that they exploited well, placing the majority of the Austrian force within range at all times. Pugwash excellently placed his artillery and won the battle with minimal casualties



    however bad news has also arrived in Paris, causing the Emperor to spit his breakfast muffin right in the face of his advisor



     

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