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Your Mother was a hamster- A Napoleonic AAR

Discussion in 'All Other Games' started by Captain2, Mar 5, 2010.

  1. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    I would throw the first torch ;)

    A pretty big foul-up on the British navy though. I assume we were floating about in the mid-Atlantic comparing the rum?
     
  2. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Spoiler :


    Being the impetuous fellow Scamp is he decided that the glory at sake far outweighed the risk and charged into battle to capture the British capital



    And might I say that London looks lovely this time of year? I think thats parliament there next to that cozy little house.




    Things were rough for the French attackers, only by positioning themselves among trees and in buildings did they negate the majority of the projectiles coming at them, even so the British were determined to drive these continentals from their island.




    Luckily the enemy general was killed just before the British managed their major offensive, many French soldiers were saved by the suddenly breaking morale of the defenders





    The British capital had been captured by Marshall Scamp who immediately honoured his promise to put London to the torch, this act interestingly enough paying for the whole Arc de Triomphe. Emperor Napoleon awarded Marshall Scamp the Légion d'honneur.




    However as the Emperor was preparing to visit the future site of his Arc he found out what the British navy had been up to, transporting an army from Scotland to France.

    With Napoleon and his personal bodyguards as the only regular troops he found himself in an unfortunate situation
     
  3. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    *sits on the throne in Buckingham Palace*

    We need to send whatever and ANY troops to help Paris immediately, or force the British to surrender (we can give them back London if needed).

    And where is my medal?
     
  4. Karalysia

    Karalysia Chieftain

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    Part with London and keep Wales? What kind of tradeoff is that?
     
  5. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    We can give them Wales too. My army needs to rest and receive reinforcement,s not police a hostile country.
     
  6. Tani Coyote

    Tani Coyote Canis Latranscendental

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    Oh my... this looks bad... but maybe there's some way to pull off a miracle! :D I do hope they don't deliver a coup d'grace against the French Empire this way...

    Very sneaky, Britain, very, VERY sneaky...
     
  7. Karalysia

    Karalysia Chieftain

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    What defeatism is this?

     
  8. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    Now this is a story all about how
    My life got twisted turned upside down
    And I'd like to take a minute so just listen
    I'll tell you how I defeated the entire United Kingdom

    In West Paris born and raised
    On the battlefield I spent most of my days
    Marchin' and invadin', defeatin all others
    Capturing Innsbruck and invading Gibraltar
    When a couple of Brits who were up to no good
    Started making trouble in our neighborhood
    I got in one little battle and Napoleon got a plan
    He said your leaving with your army to capture Buckingham

    I ordered for a frigate and when it arrived
    The cannons were armed, and the soldiers were boarded
    If anything I could say that this frigate was uncommon
    But I thought nah, forget it, yo captain to Buckingham!

    I sailed up to the shore about seven or eight
    I yelled to the captain yo home, smell you later
    Won the battle, and all went to plan
    So I sat on my throne as the prince of Buckingham
     
  9. e350tb

    e350tb Stupendously Illogical Englishman

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    No! Not London! Big No!
     
  10. Tee Kay

    Tee Kay Just a passenger

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    And up next, on Capital Swap...
     
  11. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    Subi I love you.

    Also for those who are unfamiliar with Napoleon and Empire Total War, battles do not take place inside the cities, but rather on the outskirts.
     
  12. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    Nobody is taking Wales from Great Britain. I need my fix of Doctor Who! I'll be damned if some Frenchman takes it over.
     
  13. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    I/we already did, but don't worry, there will be no interruption of Dr. Who, although he will be appearing in new locations outside of England for a change.

    Starting with Versailles and the corrupt and inept aristocracy of a hundred years ago.
     
  14. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

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    It looks to me that our army in Paris is larger than Britain's.
     
  15. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Girl_in_the_Fireplace

    Check. Mate.
     
  16. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    That would be the episode in question yes.

    Which I also haven't watched.
     
  17. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    @Subi, love it :D

    Spoiler :


    Austria decides that its had enough of its newfound peace and breaks the treaty, meanwhile Napoleon has managed to gather a massive number of armed civilians prepared to stand against the enemy. Defeat suddenly becomes less than certain.



    The British notice this formidable defense and run off into Normandy, sadly they continue toward another city but at least they've left Paris and Napoleon alone



    After looking at London and discovering that Marshall Scamp's army is outnumbered by a local British force and his escape route is blocked by Admiral Kan who has apparently recovered from the night of hard drinking that lead to France making landfall to begin with. The Emperor sighs heavily and dispatches diplomats to sign an agreement that will allow the army to return safely.




    Napoleon throws up his hands and vows that Britain will be wiped off the map, while France is in a precarious position its quite clear that the British position is worse. Apparently theres no reasoning with such delusional dolts.



    With retreat an impossiblity Marshall Scamp charges headlong into the enemy forces to avoid being trapped in London should defeat occur.



    Numerically superior and all rilled up after seeing their capital looted to pay for a victory monument in Paris the British take to the field in hopes of getting their revenge




    The battle is going... ahead... up until a brilliant move by the enemy turns the tables in their favour.




    Marshall Scamp turns around when he hears the sound of calvalry approaching, usually a welcome sound the Marshall looks on with horror and orders his bodyguard unit to start running, the British have somehow snuck behind French lines. The Marshall bolts for it but a few of his bodyguards are sluggish to start, quickly finding themselves run through by British steel.




    Riding hard towards his own lines Marshall Scamp calls to his troops for help, a division of line infantry position themselves between the English cavalry and their general and succeed in driving the enemy off.

    Marshall Scamp sighs in relief and makes a note to fire whoever allowed the British to sneak up like that undetected, suddenly he notices his horse go out from under him causing him to fall to the ground. he sits up and looks at his chest to discover it absolutely riddled with shrapnel from a nearby French cannon who had attempted to drive off his British persuers with grapeshot.



    His second in command, Taniciusfox, takes over the army and orders a charge with bayonets against the British lines which break after a short exchange



    the newly promoted Marshall Fox returns his army to London to await their fate, reinforcement or destruction
     
  18. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

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    Poor Princescamp, may he rest in peace...

    All hail Marshall Fox!
     
  19. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    >.>

    Scamp the II demands proper training of our artillery crews from now on.
     
  20. Tani Coyote

    Tani Coyote Canis Latranscendental

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    Well damn... talk about being thrusted onto the throne(or the saddle, anyway)! :eek: Let's hope I can pull an Alexander the Great on the Brits... taking command from the untimely demise of my predecessor and leading the army to greatness! ...Though of course being second-in-command to the Emperor! :D

    ...I get the feeling Scamp II will be the same as his father. ;)

    Let's just hope some reinforcements arrive, and that the British aren't quite as sneaky as before...
     

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