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Your Mother was a hamster- A Napoleonic AAR

Discussion in 'All Other Games' started by Captain2, Mar 5, 2010.

  1. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

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    Reinforcements will be tough to come by with the British besieging France.

    By the way, how's my army in Germany doing? Are we going to withdraw it into France to wipe those islanders out?
     
  2. Karalysia

    Karalysia Chieftain

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    Why are Englishmen being allowed to gallivant through France committing debauchery and indecencies with upstanding French women? It is most unseemly. I must insist that it be stopped with the utmost haste lest the seed of some English commoner pollute the womb of a fine Frechwoman.
     
  3. e350tb

    e350tb Stupendously Illogical Englishman

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    I will have you know that a British soldier does not do such things unless I order them to!

    Maybe.
     
  4. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    Poor strategic judgement on the part of the French leadership.

    Rise up brothers! Fight for France's FREEDOM! FREEDOM from Captain2's poor leadership and lack of care for his French 'comrades'. I hear he's not even from France! We Brits will leave nicely after that.

    Maybe.
     
  5. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

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    Take your treasonous beguiling elsewhere, Brit!
     
  6. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    Well they do say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
     
  7. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    @Cardgame, currently you're outside Hannover and in the process of moving in

    Spoiler :


    The British, unable to accept defeat, decide to test Marshall Fox in his new command. According to our intelligence we have discovered that these are merely revolutionaries so we don't expect much from....

    wait....

    Why do they have cannons and cavalry? some rebels raised all that and the French government is having trouble supporting four armies? blech.



    Thankfully the one thing our budget allows for are defenses and ammunition, both will be getting quite the workout today



    The French line manages to hold remarkably well as they fire from behind cover and the British are forced to take all of their casualties on the nose.



    Of course the defenses make an excellent ramp for cavalry and our artillery is overwhelmed, Marshall Fox and his bodyguard manage to force a retreat from the cavalry and in short order the British surrender the field in hopes of coming back in greater numbers



    An unhappy discovery is made when the British force themselves upon the populace of Brittany



    They've however decided to not allow the Britons independence, clearly displaying their intention to spread their horrid monarchy across europe. The Emperor prepares an army and marches against the British, he however recieves a report while he's on his way




    After a long period of grumbling and complaining about finances the Emperor orders a few divisions in Italy go home for the time being.




    Two large victories are scored for the motherland within a week of each other, Pugwash managing to push the Austrians back into their own territory and Emperor Napoleon kicking the British back off the continent
     
  8. serek000

    serek000 Chieftain

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    Is that an independent Holland I see? Looks like fun way to pad the coffers and help stave off bankruptcy...
     
  9. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    @Serek, They're actually a French puppet as are Spain, Italy, Bavaria and Switzerland. I may have forgotten a couple

    @Everyone else, Mini update follows. I had to leave while working on my update earlier and left out some background.

    Spoiler :


    Following the French victory over the English revolutionaries in London the bulk of the force retreated to the north and began burning everything in sight as a kind of scorched earth policy. A Scot who was willing to talk to one of the occupying forces said "I certainly missed burning english belongings, it brings back memories of the good days"

    An English rebel force has also gathered outside of London, Marshall Fox has taken some time to replace his losses before he persues this potential threat.



    and finally a lovely picture of France reunited as the isles burn
     
  10. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Spoiler :


    Marshall Cardgame starts out the update by engaging a Prussian force outside Hannover, slightly outnumbered by the Prussian force he rides into battle prepared to meet his foe.

    Sadly he's among the first gunned down by the Prussians which leads to the complete and utter destruction of the French force in two battles




    Luckily, France's allies in the region have prepared for such an eventuality



    Hesse and Oldenburg capable of taking the frontier fighting to the Prussians the Emperor begins building up a second force in Paris to drive back into Prussia.



    Ah hell....



    In a gamble the Emperor notices that the British fleet has left the channel entirely and began patroling near Spain in hopes of cutting off trade, the troops the Emperor had used to liberate Brittany were loaded onto the French navy in cover of darkness with Marshall Princescamp II, Hopefully capable of carrying on his fathers success.



    The Arc de triomphe is also finally finished, the Emperor heads back to Paris to take in its beauty as well as to get away from the ruin and destitute peasantry of a post British Brittany.




    Scamp II does remarkably well in his first command role and finally liberates the Scottish from English control, while placing them firmly under french control.



    only one British stronghold remains
     
  11. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    Oh flower of Scotland....

    /cries quietly to himself.
     
  12. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    Finally the Scottish people have the freedom they have fought for for centuries!

    RIP CardGame.
     
  13. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    Freedom to be run by the French?

    Bugger this, I'm going to Prussia.
     
  14. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    If you look at the screenshot, you will notice that Scotland has been released from English rule, and the French will not be running it merely protecting it.
     
  15. Kan' Sharuminar

    Kan' Sharuminar Fluffy

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    From your own commander:

    Not 'protection', but 'control'. I can't help but laugh, for Captain2's own commanders can't understand the words of their leader.
     
  16. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Okay Kan, you and me, Battlefield, acceptable time of your choosing. Nobody bugs my Marshalls :p
     
  17. Jos Ballenbak

    Jos Ballenbak Zombiehunter, duh.....

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    ..... Scotland has been allies with the French many times before in history. I think that the Scots are happier with the French than the English, given the fact that England has been a freedomblocker towards Scotland for many of centuries.

    And finally PrinceScamp has died, ahhh one of the most glorious moments in this whole AAR, I wish he would also die in Africa (Kan's British AAR). Then I could take command muahhahaha.......ahum.. The death of PrinceScamp is of course a disaster for the France.
     
  18. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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  19. Captain2

    Captain2 ಠ_ృ

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    Spoiler :



    The traitorous Hessians cement their place in history as the heels of europe after capturing Alsace Lorraine from the local garrison, The Emperor takes note that the only country that has done so well against the Empire was itself trained by French officers.



    The British navy under Admiral Kan moves in to intercept Marshall Scamps offensive into the last English stronghold but is simply too slow. The Royal navy scatters once their failure has been made common knowledge and rumours of the Admiral going to work for the Prussian army circulate the halls of Paris.




    Scamp also scores a glorious victory over the Irish conscripts raised up by their English masters in hopes of serving the "Empire"



    However Ireland is soon shown the same compassion as Scotland and given its freedom, may the English never bother them again.

     
  20. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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    Excellent. Now we can fully focus on the eastern front, especially since the imbecile in charge of defending Alsace Lorraine is dead.
     

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