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Your Research Dollars at Waste ... er, I mean "Work"

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Vancouver 2010, Jan 9, 2004.

  1. Vancouver 2010

    Vancouver 2010 Getting Paid to Code

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    Ever thought that researchers are wasting your country's money determining things that seemed to be obvious? Well, here's a thread to share all those riddiculous research "breakthroughs" -- whether they actually wasted valuable money or you just thought up one.

    Here's one to start people off:

    Researchers Determine that One Doctor in a Group of Five Will Always Disagree With the Other Four.
     
  2. Gingerbread Man

    Gingerbread Man Dark Magus

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    Yeah, a guy in a Melbourne University spent something like $50,000 in a quest to determine that Jesus was gay. All taxpayer dollars.
     
  3. Ankka

    Ankka Deity

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    Why'd he do so?


    all kinds of idiots seem to live on the Earth...
     
  4. useless

    useless Social Justice Rogue

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    lol :D
     
  5. ybbor

    ybbor Will not change his avata

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    didn't congress do some stupid study not to long ago? something like 70% of all ,lose weight fast commercials are fake? so they didn't investigate the other 30%
     
  6. The Person

    The Person Deity +2

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    Somebody said that it's not hydrogen there's most of in the Universe, but stupidity.
    But we get to laugh at it.
    Doesn't seem the taxpayer's money is completely wasted.
     
  7. allhailIndia

    allhailIndia Deity

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    Research has comprehensively shown that people who are right handed will use their right hand more than ninety percent of time for doing anything. Research on the left handed people is on the way.;)
     
  8. trumpeteer

    trumpeteer Player of Trumpet

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    Well, 9 out of 10 Americans agree that out of ten Americans, one will always disagree with the other 9.
     
  9. allhailIndia

    allhailIndia Deity

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    Comprehensive studies have shown that 47.3% of the time, researchers add a fake decimal digit, just to sound more accurate and believable.
     
  10. Vancouver 2010

    Vancouver 2010 Getting Paid to Code

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    I know. I'ts just 99.999% wasted. Our ability to laugh at the wasted money thwarted all their efforts to be completely efficient at wasting money.
     
  11. Aphex_Twin

    Aphex_Twin Evergreen

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    Actually, that may just be that illusive "dark matter" ;)
     
  12. Crowpocalyptic1

    Crowpocalyptic1 Warlord

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    Actually, 48.3 percent of all statistics are made up, while 183.3% of those statistics are wrong.
     
  13. Vancouver 2010

    Vancouver 2010 Getting Paid to Code

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    Not to forget that 97.832% of all statistics, 19 times out of 20, have been proven to contain the phrase "19 times out of 20" somewhere in them.
     
  14. allhailIndia

    allhailIndia Deity

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    53.32% of people polled on whether or not they were a statistic said maybe.
     
  15. Lumin

    Lumin Niman of Draconis

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    Cars polute our air, And acording to recent researce AIR IS GOOD.. Some great research went into that one. :D
     
  16. Gogf

    Gogf Indescribable

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    allhailIndia: Research has actually shown that 85.4000% of the time scientists add an extra zero (or multiple extra zeros) to sound more accurate.
     
  17. allhailIndia

    allhailIndia Deity

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    Aaah, but only 33.23000 % of all scientists put an odd number of zeroes, while the rest are still figuring out where to put the zeroes
     
  18. philippe

    philippe FYI, I chase trains.

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    Scientists are getting to research what is the last number of Pi .
    i say it is 0.
    for zeros
    losers
    :lol:
     
  19. Aphex_Twin

    Aphex_Twin Evergreen

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    Latest research has shown the number Pi is actually 3.1415926535 +- 0.0000000001
     
  20. SoCalian

    SoCalian Deity

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    Comprehansive reseach has shown that reproduction is neccesary for the continuation of a species.
     

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