[RFC] Surgo Graeciae

Capricious Colonies

The barbarous conquests of the tyrant king Agamemnon proved to enact a significant disadvantage on the cities of the Greek League. Culture, which was already almost virtually non-existent, was completely abolished in favor of submission and war propaganda directed at the ignorant denizens of Greece. In addition to the decline of Greek culture, production and commence not directed towards progress in the campaigns against the Babylonians and Canaanites of Palestine slowed to an agonizing halt. The petty despots of Greece took notice of the lack of cultural and economical resources that affected the League, and proclaimed that a major action or amendment to the framework of the Greek constitution was required. In response to the demands of the citizens of the Greek League and to the kings that presided over the fiefs that were included in it, the despot of the citadel of Olympokos, Phillip of Macedon, (his descendants would later rise to power as well) declared that a council concerning the debate of these issues was to be held. He, with the significant reservoir of influence he possessed, forcibly summoned the whole of the noble Greek pantheon to attend the debate, including the reluctant King Agamemnon. He decreed that the council would be hosted at his very own fief.

The city of Olympokos

An important subject of concern that Phillip highlighted was the issue of granting the civilians of Greece the right to commence colonizing foreign landmasses to improve their rather eerie and inferior existences. The matter soon expanded into being the main focus of the debate, reaching its climax at the unexpected overruling of Agamemnon's harsh decree to isolate his subjects from the entirety of the known world. This defiance is the first recorded use of an oligarchy in place of a despotism in Western Civilization. Practiced historians (who also happen to be artists) have recreated this extremely heated dispute in a rather simple pamphlet, which has recently become accessible to the general public.




























With the decision ruled in favor of the tranquil despots of Greece, colonization of foreign regions, whether through martial or benevolent processes, was now unofficially and unanimously legalized throughout the whole of the Greek League. Approximately in the year 1000 B.C, the treaty of the "De Jure Mega Robot Ninja Power Ranger Awesomest of the Awesome Treaty of Cool, Crazy, and Calm Colonization," was both signed and ratified on the same diurnal course by virtually the whole of the participants of the Greek League. The dwellers of the states of Greece were particularly exhilarated by the statement and almost immediately began contriving to depart their deprived native land. In a matter of days, the Greek mainland was virtually emptied of the majority of its inhabitants.

The citizens of Greece, upon receiving word of the ratification of the colonization treaty, began preparations to depart soon after the announcement.

One account states that one citizen populating the isle of Crete was so aroused by the news that he attempted to leap into a nearby fishing vessel in order to commence departure. Unfortunately, the denizen of Crete fractured his neck when he stumbled and collapsed onto a certain oar that directed the vessel. He perished the following day.

Weren't these invented later?

Although disheartened by the sudden deficiency of his hegemony as a result of the First Greek Council, King Agamemnon furthered his ruthless conquest of what is referred to as the Near East. Although the Greek host was the single most dominant martial entity in the visible Western World at the time, it had sustained numerous casualties in its campaign across Asia Minor and Palestine, and was severely weakened when the king returned to his position as the Supreme Commander. Meanwhile in the main realm of the Greek League, culture and research had ultimately began to develop at an accelerated pace. New advances in technical knowledge that had never been witnessed before had emerged. Most notably during this period was the exploitation of animal husbandry and agriculture, which eventually gave rise to rapidly progressing civilizations across the entire world. The lords of Greece (including King Agamemnon) were so astonished by this discovery that they organized such an august feast that it is still discussed as of today by contemporary chefs. Utilized and introduced in this occasion was cooked meats and plant foods, two delicacies previously unknown by the denizens of Greece, common and noble, until the discovery of the two advantageous technologies introducing them.
= Which =

However, the grand assembly was soon disturbed by an unwelcome patron. The Greek records that have been discovered in modern day Tyre refer to this gentleman as "an oddly dressed individual who referred to himself as the 'Supreme King of the Jewish Monarchy of Egypt." The Greeks, who had only been governed by despotism had no notion of what a monarchy consisted of, so thus they were indeed confused by the King of Egypt's attire and address. This unwelcome introduction was to spark colossal tensions between the two sovereign nations in the following centuries.


While their overlords fumbled through political and cultural issues in the Near East, Greek colonists had finally arrived at their colonization destination, which consisted of seven prominent knolls surrounding a river that the Greeks referred to as the Tibereos. This hamlet later evolved into the grand administrative capital of one of the most celebrated sovereign powers that ever graced the known world, the Roman Empire.

The colony of Romanikos, which would later become the city of Rome.

Disgruntled by his meeting of the Egyptians, Agamemnon and his ill-stocked host resumed their rampage throughout the realm of Palestine, eventually happening upon the holy settlement of the monotheistic religion of Judaism, Yerushalayim. The city's name, which was dubbed in Hebrew vernacular, is now Anglicized as Jerusalem. Recognizing that dominance over such a significant region (It was the undisputed belief system of the influential Kingdom of Egypt after all.) would grant the Greek League and himself great amounts of authority, Agamemnon commenced preparations to besiege the meager bulwark of defense that the settlement harbored. Unfortunately, for both the states of Greece and for the despot himself, King Agamemnon rashly initiated a siege against the city when he was outnumbered by a superior in quantity host. According to the recovered memoirs of the participants of the assault, Agamemnon's weakened host consisted of around two-hundred charioteers, with the rest being decommissioned, wounded, or killed upon the battlefield. The reckless despot abruptly commenced a massive and disorganized charge upon the Jerusalemite perimeter. Although the undisciplined local militia that the Jerusalemites possessed was indeed frightened by this course of rash action, they continued to maintain their defense with the aid of a stalwart general whose name has been lost to the throes of history. Maintaining their meager but cemented formation resulted in a heroic triumph against the Greek host led by Agamemnon, in which he and the fraction of his host that still remained intact, fled to Tyros to restock the composition of itself.

The reduced host of Agamemnon promptly retreated from the disatrous setback at the plains adjacent to Yerushalayim.

Agamemnon encountered his final defeat on the outskirts of Tyros. As his contused host inched towards the settlement of Tyros. According to the lone survivor of the slaughter, who would later arise to become the renowned hero known to the Greeks as Heracles, a Babylonian host of primitive militia, apparently consisting of "over 9,000" combatants, engaged the surviving fifty charioteers with brute force, slaughtering nearly the whole of the host in seconds. According to Heracles, the death of King Agamemnon was rather pitiful for one of such influential stature. As the horde of Babylonians advanced upon the ill-prepared gaggle of chariots, King Agamemnon;s own chariot was impacted several times by the blunt instruments used by the Babylonian horde. Eventually the chariot could sustain no more of the force resonating from the instruments, and it eventually collapsed. Dazed and confused, (and miraculously not noticed by the Babylonians, who were engaging the surviving combatants of his army) Agamemnon attempted to rise from his slouched position, only to discover that the rope binding the chariot had entangled his neck. Realizing that the belligerents of the Babylonians would be upon him momentarily, the king desperately attempted to sever the non-lethal grasp of the rope from his neck. Apparently as Agamemnon struggled to liberate himself from the clutches of the rope, a black feline stumbled upon the ruins of the chariot, and happened by the king. The feline was curious and inched closer to the vicinity of Agamemnon. The king, unfortunately, did not notice this creature and slipped upon stepping on the feline, promptly hanging himself upon the grasp of the rope, perishing instantly from the force. And this unfortunate incident has fabricated a superstition still in common use as of today that felines of a black hue bring horrible misfortune. But this one happened to be rather lucky, evolving into a complex species and later morphing into the founder of the influential Viking Kingdom, who we refer to as Ragnar Lodbrok. (DID YOU KNOW SHE IS A WOMAN?) Regardless of the superstition that felines were involved in his death, Agamemnon, King of Mycenae and of the Greek League, had perished at what mortal organisms consider to be an excessively ripe age; approximately five-hundred years old.

The Disaster at Tyros: a representation of the defeat at Tyros by the Greek Artist Herodotushomerisaithenthisnameistoolongines.

The posthumous reactions of Agamemnon's death by the denizens of Greece were generally divided between the benevolent occupants of Greece and the aggressive and the citizens which today would be considered mentally ********. Regardless of the reactions to the despot of Greece's death, the disastrous calamity that occurred at the Massacre of the Tyrosian Plains and the onset of King Agamemnon's sumptuous funeral is generally agreed to be the conclusion of the Greek Empire, and the period in which historians refer to as the Olympian Era.​

Omnipotent Olympians

The Greek League at the beginning of Phillip I's reign.

The abrupt collapse of the Mycenaean Greek League heralded the rise of a new empire that reigned over Greece and the Near East, The Second Greek League, ruled by a usurper dynasty known as the Olympians. Following the death of King Agamemnon of the Mycenaean Greek League at the hands of the Babylonian Empire, a power struggle of significant size occurred between the petty despot nations of the Balkan peninsula, eventually resulting in an undisputed victory of the ruler of Olympokos and the Kingdom of Macedon, Phillip, at the Second Siege of Tyros. Virtually the entirety of the petty kings of Greece (along with Babylonian allies) were decimated at this decisive victory for the Olympian dynasty. Phillip subsequently executed the remainder of the despots of Greece, declaring himself and his family the sole rulers of the Greek League, which was by De Jure still an oligarchy instead of a democracy, but ceased to function when its members were deceased.

The instrument used to execute the Kings of Greece. Phillip later declared that the operations the machine produced were so brutal that he executed its fabricator inside his own creation.
The triumph at the Second Siege of Tyros, led by King Phillip and his host of spear-men.

With the whole of the fiefs of Greece under his banner, Phillip turned his gaze to Mesopotamia, the belligerents of a conflict that had extended for centuries too long. Although Phillip had a greedy perspective of poorly defended neighbors, he refrained from focusing all of the production of his nation on the war effort, instead focusing on technological and cultural advancements whilst sending a scant host of Greek hoplites to the holdings of the Babylonians.

King Phillip upon hearing of the prosperity of Babylonian lands.

During the reign of the immortal King Phillip, Greek science, culture, and commence began to surpass the equivalent efforts of achievement of the entirety of the civilizations of the world. Greek colonies were to be found across the entire Mediterranean Sea, from the Italian Peninsula to Northern Africa. New advancements in technology granted the Greeks superiority both in military and economic might over their humble and primitive rival states. Exploration and trailblazing of landmasses new and old flourished, and after only a few centuries of existence, the Olympian Greek League expanded to become one of the most influential powers in the world.

A sizable monument commemorating the triumphs of the Greek League.

The discovery of marble, one of the most sought after resources ever utilized by modern humanity, led to a cultural revolution across Greece, with religion, magnificent architecture, and technological achievement blossoming throughout the territory of the League and beyond. Majestic structures were constructed to celebrate the gods of the Polytheistic Greek religion and to predict the future of the known world. The omnipotent beauty of these wondrous buildings is still recognized in the modern world.

the first recorded quarry of marble.

However, the progress of the Greeks was halted by the approaching might of the Babylonians, and Phillip realized that only a peaceful resolution would assure the perseverance of his empire. According to archives recovered from the ruins of an ancient Greek library, King Phillip ordered a messenger to run the distance to the Babylonian court. According to these records, the messenger, displaying remarkable athletic ability, ran the entire route to the desired destination in order to inform the Babylonians of the Greek offering of a ceasefire. After reaching his destination, he informed the Babylonians of the Greek turns, panting uncontrollably. When the representative of the king Hammurabi casually accepted, the Greek messenger procured a faint cry of elation, then promptly collapsed from fatigue and perished a minute after.

The messenger collapsing from exhaustion in strangely modern clothing accessories.

Unfortunately, Hammurabi himself declined the apparently "disrespectful and insulting" terms that the Greeks procured, and thus the Wars of the Near East continued at an agonizing pace.

Hammurabi was particularly displeased by the offers of peace.

In addition to the troubles caused by the Babylonians, legions of barbarian hordes began to invade the poorly defended Greek League, riding on chariots of apparently golden materials. The nation we now refer to as the Roman Empire also emerged as well in a half-century long rebellion that occurred in the Greek colony of Romanikos. The League of Greece was beginning to lose stability as well as territory.

The capital of the Romans.

The Coup de grâce of the downfall of the Greek League as it was known was the declaration of war against the infant state of Rome. Countless amounts of Roman combat regiments known as legions leaped down upon the unwary Greek states. Settlement after settlement was desecrated by the onslaught of the Roman hosts that were gradually advancing towards Greece. And soon enough, the citadels of the Greek League were being sacked. King Phillip, in a terribly desperate attempt to save the fledgling power of the Greek nations, focused the whole of the resources of his empire to production of military defense units. in addition, a large quantity of archers were levied to defend the capital of Delphoi. An arms race had commenced in Greece in an attempt to preserve the essence of the League.

They could handle this.


This... not so much.

The settlement of Olympokos, the de facto capital of the Greek League, was the first to succumb to the might of the Legions of Rome. Its occupants, along with the generous King Phillip I, were all slaughtered by the Roman war machine. The regent of Greece, Homergopoopolopisoverninethousandideiuses, resumed his predecessors task of fortifying the few remaining Greek settlements. He was able to attempt to capitalize on this matter during a brief cessation of conquest by the host of the Romans.



The oddly feminine-appearing King Phillip on his deathbed. His last words uttered were "Me malus asinus" (I'm bad ass) in responce to the rising popularity of the language fabricated by the Romans, Latin, and his opinion of himself, which is that he was indeed a

and that the females of his realm often procured a peculiar face in admiration of him.



The sudden arousal of the Roman Empire had severely affected the chance of survival that the Greeks possessed. Conflict was futile and negotiation was downright rejected. The Olympian League of Greece had plunged into a state of severe jeopardy.​