Roll to Dodge: Sniper Edition

I buy a better mic and record another single.

I help JoanK by contributing a duet.

I depose the devil and become the king of darkness myself.

Having failed to find inner peace, I instead find my inner chaos.

I stop a musical nightmare in the making by tackling JoanK. And maybe Terrance too.

I bonk SamSniped on the head with a bottle of Vodka for not inviting me to this!

Update tomorrow sometime after 5 PM EST.

I attack bonefang for making a mockery of thieves through his failures!

I find the sword of annihilation.

Hey, I said sometime after 5 PM EST of the 6th, so I didn't lie

west india man said:

I make lead non-poisonous to my body.

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10- Well, you got the chunks of lead that were in you out. Not that they were doing much in the first place.

JoanK said:

I buy a better mic and record another single.

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8- Despite having a better mic, your fans dislike the single.

Terrance888 said:

I help JoanK by contributing a duet.

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2- An angry mob of fans starts to hunt you down.
(New NPC- Angry Mob)

hoplitejoe said:

I depose the devil and become the king of darkness myself.

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8- He laughs at you, puny mortal, and then kicks you to Earth again.

Tecknojock said:

Having failed to find inner peace, I instead find my inner chaos.

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16- After prayer to the RNG Gods, Civilization IV, and the Great Sniper, you feel a sudden urge to destroy someone rising up inside you.
(Status- Inner Chaos: +2 to direct attack rolls)

Nintz said:

I stop a musical nightmare in the making by tackling JoanK. And maybe Terrance too.

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19- You charge at them, and...
ROLL TO DODGE!
Terrance: 3- ...completely ROFLSTOMP Terrance for -8 HP, and...
JoanK: 7- ...slide into Joan's legs, knocking him off the stage for -4 HP.

NinjaCow64 said:

I bonk SamSniped on the head with a bottle of Vodka for not inviting me to this!

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12 1- The Great Sniper laughs at you, and shoots the bottle for attempting to hit the Holy Creator of Sniping, and the bullet goes through your left arm, cutting it off for -5 HP.
(Status- Lost Arm: -5 to rolls involving two hands or your left arm, -1 HP/turn until healed)

KaiserElectric said:

I attack bonefang for making a mockery of thieves through his failures!

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7+2=9- Miss.

Darth Caesar said:

I find the sword of annihilation.

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16- Searching through a cave, a shadowy man strikes out at you. You strangle him with your bare hands, and steal his sword: the Death Sword.
(Item gained- Death Sword: +2 to combat rolls)

NPCs:
Angry mob- Converging upon the stage.
The Great Sniper-

Missed Turns
Bonefang: 1

I start my own hell.

I create modulistic terror with a vast sadistic feast, where the only way out is piece by piece.

*

I lead the glorious Revolutionary Rock Movement of Angry Mobs to dethrone the bourgeois pseudo-singers and their capitalistic pigs of managers.

I sing a spiritual so moving that the Angry Mob finds themselves on my side.

I mug Darth Caesar for his Death Sword.

I hold my sword aloft and summon an army to lead!

I demand my 12 back with my angry Australian accent!

I wait in a shadowy corner of the street. attempt to mug any old lady that might pass by. else someone else.

I duel Nintz to death. A singing duel, of course. the loser will be lynched by the angry mob.

I decapitate Tecknojock