5020 Years of Greatness: A Babylon OCC in RFC DoC

constantinople said:

Without the great wall, you need barbed wire to keep out the barbs.

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Best pun I've heard in a while.

orly?

Moai_Spammer said:

orly?

Spoiler :

i bet the huns sure were hungry after attacking byzantium

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Worst pun that I've heard that isn't mine.

Update 14: Crappy Puns for Everyone!

Hammurabi met the biZara Yaqub of Ethiopia (get it?).


Hammurabi's scientists decided not to shun Educa-shun (get it?) because of research capabilities.


Jerusalem flipped to Babylon, but after hearing terrible music, Hammurabi ordered for the city to be dis-band-ed (get it?) and the citizens to be relocated to Ashur.


In 1500, Ifsahan was magically rebuilt and Iran magically respawned despite only having 1 city (Ifsahan) in its flip zone. Iran upon hearing this, because they steal a lot of Babylonian tiles.


Hammurabi saw a good trade for Optics from Arabia.


Hammurabi voted for MehMeh in the AP to sate his grumpy neighbor's anger. Also, look at all of the tiles that Iran stole.


Hammurabi won the Liberalism race and bulbed Economics for the extra commerce. Seriously, 10 commerce from Floodplains Towns is totally amazing. Also, the science boost from Secularism is very useful.





Hammurabi finally decided to trade for Theology, having no use for the Parthenon anymore.


Meanwhile, two Great Merchants both joined Ashur, boosting food and the already ridiculous commerce.


Iran declared war on Hammurabi and actually sent units towards it! Excuse me for a moment.


All done. Until next time, may you not tell crappy puns like I did!

Very nice update, also i'm sure someone has asked this before but, what is your goal? Is it just to survive?

Raze iran!

CoolGuy5451 said:

Very nice update, also i'm sure someone has asked this before but, what is your goal? Is it just to survive?

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Somewhat.

I actually am going for space race victory.

mrrandomplayer said:

Somewhat.

I actually am going for space race victory.

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Good luck with that, i've never been able to win a Space Race Victory with ONE city, but then again, i've never won a Space Race Victory. What can I say i'm better at diplomacy then warfare or tech.

Thanks. You'll see what happens at the end.

Now I'm worried.

iran vs. "iraq"

this oughta be interesting

Chapter 15: Stupid Safavids

That was fast!



A very dramatic trade occured between Babylon and Poland where Hammurabi pushed Casimir into a river bank (and taught him to shave) in exchange for some money and a play about it.


Amazingly, the Iranians, the puppets of the Mughals, sent another army at Ashur. Simultaneously, a new bout of listeningtotoomanypunsitis struck the entire world, especially Babylon.



Hammurabi met two new civilizations, the very fishy Swedish, and the octopus-loving Incas.




A list of the most advanced civs was released with Babylon at the top. Those 10 commerce cottages go a long way. Seriously, I'm teching faster than most Europeans at the moment. Also, look at how much GPT I'm making.


Astronomy was also discovered at that time, netting Ashur another scientific building to boost its already crazy science output.


The Reformation swept all of Europe up. If I had been Christian when I originally discovered Printing Press, I would've founded Protestantism. However, the +1 gold on Towns helps enough.


The Arabs tried to trick Hammurabi into losing the Great Library in exchange for a useless dead-end tech.


A company decided to start trading in Ashur, adding to Temple of Artemis and Porcelain Tower income.


The second Iranian army met the same fate as the first.


Until next time, may you abuse DoC as much as possible.

you should burn down isfahan, it's smothering beautiful babylonian culture

Chapter 16: Science is Power!

In 1625, the Great Scientist Sin-leqi-unninni was born. He settled down to live in Babylon forever while trying to find ways to prove his "Theory of Really Hard to Pronounce Babylonian Names".


Mehmeh tried to trick Hammurabi into signing an evil, pointless Defensive Pact. Hammurabi, saw that coming because he knew that...


Link to video.

In 1665, Babylonian scientists finally developed a method for their madness. (Disclaimer: Scientists are awesome, I'm not one of those crazy anti-science nutcases.)


Babylonian military officials badly needed oil to uhh... cook with, so they made a conspiracy giving the government a reason to invade the Middle East just to get the oil... oh wait, wrong government.


An important political marriage was broken up, leading to disputes between Turkey and Babylon. The official reasons were vague, but it was probably because Hammurabi yelled "the bride is fat!" during the middle of the ceremony.


Admiral Akbar, learning that his war was a trap, made peace with Babylon, relieving Iranian pressure on the border. Hammurabi had to give some money as well, but he had so much, we had started giving away free money to random people to get rid of excess weight.


A Great Artist, Samsu-Ditana, was born, and he settled down for the rest of his immortal life to give even more culture, money, and happiness.


Hammurabi met the very gross Frederick (get it?), and signed an Open Borders deal with him.



A misinterpretation between "Dust Bowl" and "Duck Bowl" caused an increase of duck farming and a subsequent collapse of the duck market and farms.


However, the silver lining of the Dust Bowl (get it?) was that dust got in the era, creating the very real In-dust-real (get it?) Era from the discovery of the laws of physics. Unfortunately, Hammurabi couldn't just screw gravity after the laws started enforcing themselves.

Link to video.



Until next time, may you not recognize traps and screw gravity at will.

a star wars AND asdf reference in one update!

the only thing it's missing is amingo montoya...

You need to raze Ishafan...

constantinople said:

You need to raze Ishafan...

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NO! It's a trap!

Chapter 17: IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With bad alcohol puns as well!

Another Great Scientist was born in Babylon. No, I'm not Kidinnu, that's his name.


Hammurabi reluctantly decided to accept a meh deal with Mehmeh to get Replaceable Parts. However, that made the Grand Canal Obsolete , and that began the transition to a very special Specialist Economy.



Some borderline acceptable Open Borders treaties were made in the early 1700s, namely with Willem, Elizabeth, and the new Ottoman leader Sillyman.




My only description for the following screenshot is...


Link to video.

More tech trades.



"Go home Iberia, you're drunk!"-Hammurabi after 10 beers.


Despite being drunk, Hammurabi jumped the gun on new Rifling technology.




However, in his drunker stupor, Hammurabi was beaten to the alcohol-free punch when the Mughals historically built the Taj Mahal.


Until next time, DON'T GET DRUNK!

No comments? How rude!
I don't mind that much, but COME ON!

Chapter 18: Rudeness all Around

A new Great Prophet was born, Gilgamesh, though there weren't many prophecies to mesh together by then.


Some pictures of bear cubs were found in a cubby in a Monastery, boosting culture.


Babylonian scientists discovered Physics, thwarting more of Hammurabi's attempts to break scientific laws.


Forthright, Babylon was declared fourth most advanced in a impartial extremely anti-Babylonian study.


Seeing an increase of diamond ring sales, Hammurabi naturally had a gem of an idea to tax them a lot, boosting his already ridiculous income.


Hammurabi decided to blow off some steam by discovering Steam Power.


A Great Scientist, Sudines, was born. He really loved his suds.


Best Korea had long had a great tradition of military, and they ripped off Hammurabi by trading it to him.


Several resourceful trades were made to secure more bonuses for Hammurabi the Babylonian people.




In return for teaching Akbar about science, Hammurabi was taught about corporate exploitation of the people. Science and corporations don't go well together, especially in a certain country...


Hammurabi met Mansa Musa of the Mali people, but he remained confused about why a nation was named after his favorite insert dirty reference here mistress.


Communism was discovered, forcing Hammurabi to stop the exploitation of the people.



A heartrending ballad about the loss of Capitalism was composed by a prominent young musician. He suspiciously disappeared a few days after its publication, but culture increased nonetheless.


Fortunately, the construction of Lubyanka was lubricated by all of the money that Hammurabi poured into it and it was finished in time.



Until next time, COMMENT! Or at least be a good person.

The puns just get (punnier?) as the turns wind down, don't they?