the celtic peacekeepers!

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Very good an idea. Post it on this thread, and when Daftpanzer will try to download it, all of us will jump on him from the bushes (meaning the sigs of people featuring the infamous "Bush '04" phrase), overpower him and crucify him!

On the other hand, T-Money has a point. Maybe Daft is alittle disturbed by all this.

DAFTPANZER!!! Do you hear us? We don't want to crucify you any more! We won't do anything to you, honestly! You can just come here to this thread now! We have some... uh... trees for you!

*whispers to the other fanatics*

Everybody, quickly, grab the nets! I think he fell for it!
 
I got him! I got him!
Damnit it's a hole in my net!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
He slipped trough the hole!!!
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
 
This is it. I will be merciful one last time. But if anyone else of you fails, hahaha, guess he will get to beta test my Daft-crucifying device.
 
Y are we fighting amongst ourselves? The enemy is Daftpanzer!!! We HAVE to get him to update! Quick, someone find out his address!
 
Bah. My plans to make the scenario failed when A) I realized that I have only made a single scenario so far, and only 7 peopel downloaded it
B) My mom took civ from me
C) Even if I got it back, a bunch of bugs happened for no reason at all, making it impossiblr to do anything.
 
Heathen! You must honor Daft by reading everything! Then reading it again, and again! :D

I will give you another chance, since you're a fellow GameFAQser (is that a word?).
 
Just wondering, is anyone here good at making scenarios and devoted enough to Daftpanzeer to help me with the scenario? We can change all this useless spam into productive creation of a scenario worshipping Daft!!!!!!!
 
Did your mom really take civ 3 from you The Omega!?
She must be a very evil woman... :lol:
 
P.S.Y.C.H.O. said:
Did your mom really take civ 3 from you The Omega!?
She must be a very evil woman... :lol:

It's not my fault! I had to beat those Ottomans! Even if I was supposed to be doing homework, people still shouldn't do that kinda stuff!
(I've also got it back, adn am working on fixing the bugs)
 
Attempting update...

Activating anti-crucification device.....

Activiating clones for simultaneous multiple updating to confuse potential hostage takers....

Activating tree-scanner device to check for real trees....

Activating shield of invincibility....

Proceeding...

PS, you dont have to worship me. Find the messiah in yourselves! And hug a tree, its good for you (and the tree too).

Remember what Jesus said - "Recycle, and kill all the fascists"
 
Besancon, 943bc



Artillery fired non-stop for several hours. Everything from old cannons to the latest long range guns were fired at the French defences. Ironclads steamed close to the shore, adding their firepower to the barrage, until the thunderous noise suddenly stopped. For a moment there was silence, then with a great rallying cry and the sounds of drums and pipes, the celts hurled their forces south out of their foritifed mountain line. After recovering and reorganising for months, the celts were ready to attack and retake the last trace of the French counter offensives which had caused so much damage.

The French defence couldn’t hold the concentration of force that was now thrown at it. Despite dogged resistance form the outgunned and outnumbered French infantry, Besancon returned to celtic control after only a few hours of fighting. The battle line now returned to where it had been five years ago, not a great cause for celebration. Five years of brutal struggle, just to return to a previous state in the war.



But this time, Spain and all other areas of French control had also been defeated, allowing a gathering of strength here in the south. Opposing the celts was a French army now depleted from years of almost suicidal attacks. The aggressive French strategy almost led to the destruction of the best celtic forces, which could have put the celts firmly on the defensive for many years or caused a peace treaty to be signed. But as fate would have it, these forces survived and would now play a major part in bringing about the downfall of the remaining French empire.

The Iroquai forces had also caused major damage to the French in recent years. Iroquai defenders had repulsed several strong French attacks in and around their territory. Now, in an ironical twist on the last world war, the Iroquai cavalry advanced alongside the celts against the French, over the same ground where they had fought both nations as enemies only a few decades before. Now, with Iroquai help, French defeat finally seemed inevitable. Confidence grew, and so did the strength of forces along the lines.

However tensions also grew, as it became clear the Iroquai wanted to take French land for themselves. Not content with annexing Leipzig from Germany, the Iroquai now clearly wanted to retake the parts of mexico which they had owned at the height of their power, or even advance further. Things were complicated by the signing of a right of passage agreement with the Iroquai at the start of the war, when it had seemed they would need celtic help to defend their territory. By the terms of the treaty, the celts now also had to allow Iroquai forces to move through celtic-held ground to reach the French.



While the celts took Besancon, the Iroquai were attacking Texcoco, and were on the brink of breaking the defences there. Alarmed by this, celtic generals rushed in their own reserve forces, and managed to finish off the few remaining French defenders while the Iroquai regrouped. The Iroquai were not pleased, and grew increasingly frustrated with the celts.

The celtic high command had its own plans for this part of the world. But the thought of launching any kind of attack on the Iroquai to force them out of the area would lead to a three-way battle too chaotic to think about. The advantages gained by now against the French at so much cost were not to be thrown away. For now a dangerous game would be played - the celts allowing the Iroquai to wear down the French, but rushing in before the Iroquai could officially claim any territory.

Back on the home continent, the celts finally managed to take Palenque from the Dutch, while the Byzantines were regrouping. This began the slow dismantling of the Dutch empire, which the celts had helped create in the first place, 200 years ago.



Unfortunately, the Dutch had since used the territory, technology and resources gifted by the Celts as a tool to achieve the conquest of even more land. The Dutch, like the French, fought on bravely. But with the French as the main priority, the war here would be dragged out for many years, as the celts struggled to gather enough strength to both hold of the Byzantines and defeat the stubborn Dutch defences.

Copenhagen, 942bc



France, of course, refused to accept defeat. In 942bc, Joan d’arc briefly toured the French lines, continuing to promise victory, continuing to fanatically inspire her people. But just as the French leader left Copenhagen to return to Paris, the Celtic navy arrived offshore from the ancient Scandinavian city. The water seemed to turn into fire and metal, the sky seemed to turn into steam, it was said. Many celtic ironclads gathered to bombard the French defenders. The French navy could do nothing, as many French ships had already been destroyed in small sea battles or caught in port and destroyed by advancing celtic ground troops. The ironclads were free to rain down shells on the city for days, a cruel barrage which only ended when the celtic ships began to run out of ammunition.

Many naval bombardments so far had been disappointing, but this time the operation was conducted brilliantly, catching the French by surprise and causing significant damage to the French defence. Ground forces quickly followed up, overrunning the city without taking many casualties.

Southern Mexico, 942bc



The French continued to counter attack with all their remaining cavalry. The celtic infantry dug in all along the mountains saw off several cavalry attacks, suffering little damage. However on the eastern coast, the French targeted the vulnerable Iroquai cavalry around Texcoco. In a series of counter attacks here, they destroyed nearly all of the Iroquai forces that had reached the front line.



But as the French advanced, they became trapped in a hellish area of blasted swampland, littered with waterlogged crators from previous battles. The French, bogged down in the mud, began to fall victim to heavy celtic artillery, firing from the mountain positions and from within the nearby city. Conditions for the French forces must have been horrendous. The celts had already moved south to Teotihuacán, cutting off the French, and the remaining Iroquai forces bravely moved in to surround them. The French tried to break out, but were now in no state to fight, and were wiped out by the celts and Iroquai. It was a sad end for some of the best and bravest of France’s soldiers.

French attempts to retake Copenhagen also failed, but not before threatening to destroy another celtic cavalry army. Several times now, a potential disaster for the celts had turned into a major defeat for French forces. Although no one knew it yet, after 941 the French would never again be able to counter-attack on such a scale.

As the celts secured their position on Scandinavian land, the last French hold on southern Mexico was also falling. Teotihucan was freed of French control after a classic artillery and cavalry attack. The celtic-held land on this continent was now equal in size to the remaining French empire, with all of Spain and Mexico cleared of French forces. It was a historic achievement, made more pleasant for the celtic command by the fact that Iroquai ambitions had been outpaced again – at least for now.
 
Northern Scandinavia, 941bc
While the ancient Scandinavian heartland had been part of the French empire for many years, and partly occupied by America before that, independent Scandinavian civilization survived on the large, nearby island known as ‘Gotland’. Here they remained at war with the French, and the two enemies launched frequent raids at each other across the narrow Gotland Sea. Luckily for the celts, many French cavalry divisons met their doom at the hands of fearsome viking berserkers, or from riflemen technology and tactics supplied by the celts to the Scandinavians some years ago.



The celts assumed the remaining free Scandinavians would be pleased to see the French control of their ancient continental heartland being lifted, eventually to be returned to their control. But instead, it seems they saw this as a personal insult. Full of arrogance, they still believed they could defeat France single-handed and retake their homeland for themselves. Insulted by celtic interference, they declared war in 942bc, supposedly in support of the Byzantines. The Scandinavians were still bitter over the celtic annexation of old Viking colonies on the northern tip of Celtonia many years ago. The celts had also taken the island colony of Molde from them in the eastern ocean, which was now the home of the Spanish government in exile. Perhaps the Scandinavians wished to retake all these losses.



Whatever the case, an isolated nation with only three major cities declared war on the celts, who were now in the middle of a military and industrial boom - with a larger area of the world under their control than ever before.



But the tough berserker forces were not to be taken lightly, and the last thing the celtic command wanted at this stage was yet another enemy to fight. The important naval base of Akwesasne - situated on the northern tip of Gotland, right next to Viking territory - was put on full alert. Reinforcements were organised from the mainland forces to bolster the defences there. However, orders were given to ignore Viking land and naval forces wherever possible, so as not to damage this already weakened nation. The celts had no intention of giving up their base on the Viking island, but hopefully this crisis could be resolved shortly...

Yaxchilan, 940bc
The celts had advanced into the city of Yaxchilan several months ago. The area was originally part of a large mayan kingdom, but had been conquered by the celts in their war to protect the Dutch centuries ago. Since then, it had been made part of a strengthened Holland – now too strong and aggressive for the celts to accept. Still, much of the population was now ethnically Dutch, which complicating things. Dutch architecture and culture dominated the streets, but here and there glimpses could be seen of old mayan buildings.



The loss of the city had put a huge hole in the Dutch line, practically isolating the cities in the eastern half of the country. The Dutch wanted the city back, and sent in waves of riflemen from all directions. But the celtic position was soon fairly strong, with infantry, cavalry and artillery all gathered to defend the area.

Orgetorix woke to the sound of artillery fire. Today, it seemed, the Dutch were attacking again. Now he had a cavalry division to lead into battle.

Dutch tactics were questionable – they sent riflemen marching over open terrain towards the celtic defence, with little cavalry and no artillery to support. Perhaps they believed the celtic defence was weakened here. But the celts had reinforced this area with several divisions of all types. Orgetorix hoped the Dutch might change their mind and turn around when the first few shells began landing amongst them.



But still the Dutch advanced into the hail of artillery, mortars and machine gun fire. Men fell down everywhere, some were being broken apart and thrown into the air by explosions. The carnage was terrible. When the artillery and machine guns topped, there wasn’t much left for Orgetorix’s cavalry to do. The last few pockets of riflemen were defeated, many of the Dutch never even got a chance to fire their guns at the celts. A few Dutch prisoners were taken – many more preferred to fight to the death.

On the way back to Yaxchilian, Orgetorix saw a line of Dutch prisoners being led away. He was reminded of the Dutch soldiers who had befriended him, all those years ago when he was a captive in Ugarit. Perhaps some of them were in this line, or had died today in the rain of shells and bullets. That thought was terrifying - Orgetorix did not want to associate the memory of those very human people he had once known, with the mangled bodies he had just seen lying around the countryside.

Orgetorix saw one of the Dutch prisoners staring up at him on his horse, but instead of being scared or disheartened, the prisoner seemed to have an expression of contempt. Orgetorix rode over and matched pace with the line, and leant over from his sadle to talk to the man.

“Soldier of Holland! Tell me… You knew you couldnt win against us this time. This land is under our protection. Why didn’t you retreat?”

The man shrugged. “Im doing my duty. I serve my army, as do you”

“I serve no-one”, replied Orgetorix. “I choose to defend my nation. Why do you so blindly go to your deaths?”

“You serve your superiors, as we all do”

“We put our trust in our elders, who the spirits have called forward as the best leaders for our people.”

The dutchman laughed at this. “Is it your spirits, or is it greed that drives them? Face it, your leaders are playing power games, have been for centuries.”

Orgetorix was clearly taken aback by this comment. The celtic guards stood poised, as if expecting an order to restrain this impudent prisoner. But Orgeotrix continued the argument.

“What do you know about it? If it wasn’t for us, you would be speaking mayan or incan right now”

By now the line had now stopped moving. Both guards and prisoners were standing around, surprised at the discussion unfolding.

“Think we know nothing? We know all about the celts and their plans for world conquest”

“Well, I see the propaganda people in your country must be doing a good job”

“Propaganda? People only need to open their eyes. Who can believe the celts anymore? All they bring is war and death”

“Well perhaps people would prefer the concentration camps of the fascists?”

“Sir”, finally, one of the celtic guards dared to interrupt Orgetorix, “Sir, our orders are to escort these prisoners to a safe area. We must not delay”

Orgetorix eased and sat upright in his saddle, realising this was not the time or place for a debate.

“Enough of this. You are lucky that there is no more war for you. We will see that you are well treated. Get them out of here, soldiers”

“Yes sir”

Orgeotrix rejoined the cavalry heading back to Yaxchilan, galloping along the dusty road. Many of the celtic troops here were eager to advance, to achieve gains like those on the French front. But after battles like today, many just wanted to see the end of this war, one way or another.



A true world war was now developing, with almost all the world at war. But by 940bc, the Dutch made peace with all their other neighbours to concentrate on the celtic threat. This left the Hittites out of the war for now. Also, Germany was at war with France and the Incas (German government was still in Vilacamba, near the incan lands…), but since regaining independence they had little in the way of an army. The Spanish government was in exile on the island of Molde in the eastern ocean, with no real country to speak of.

The diplomatic situation amongst the remaining powers was complicated. To the eyes of the Celts, four main conflicts were being fought:

The French war - Celts, Germany (no army) and Iroquai against France
The Border war - Celts and America vs Byzantium
The Southern war - Celts vs Holland

Finally there was the recent outbreak of the celt/viking conflict. The vikings were also at war with just about everyone.


(Diplomatic report, 940bc)

The war still raged, but after 940bc the celtic people breathed a sigh of relief. With progress on all fronts, victory seemed almost certain now... The only question was, how much damage was the war going to do to the world, or to the celtic spirit? This kind of global warfare, and the kind of power now being placed in the hands of the celts, threatened to corrupt the new generation of celtic leaders. And perhaps it was still unwise to underestimate the enemy nations…
 
Thanks for your update, and floating freely above the insanity this thread became. On a side note, I have an idea. Why don't you tell us the next day your going to update, that way the sane ones can check back and avoid most of the spam, and the insane among us can merely mark that day on their calander and spam a bit less?
 
Thanks again for replies :)

Im sorry but i dont know when i can go online these days, so i cant really set a schedule or anything :( When i finish, maybe ill put a contents list thing at the start, or transfer all the story posts to a new thread or something, if that would be useful (and if mods would allow it)
 
T-Money! The net! The net!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Desperatly searches for anything of use to caputer Daft*
Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I give all my capture devices to those imbeciles?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
 
Hi!

Yeah , finally , more from the celtic tree-lovers !!! Good work Daftpanzer , especially the pics !!! :goodjob:

Have Fun!
 
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