Life In Kagemusha - Casino Style

The Man without a Name came waling into the bar of the Constituzione Casino in the center of Kagemusha. Broad shoulders, strong hips, long boots with spurs, 2
revolvers hanging in his belt and a mystical and attractive face tantalized the many harlots, mistresses and bored housewives that saw him entering the Casino. He asked the croupier in a weather worn voice...

"So what are the house rules for the Constituzione Casino, this is a very corrupt town so I wonder what the rules are?"

The Croupier, with a slick greasy haricut, red cheeks, yellow greedy porky teeth, white shirt, black vest, suspenders and black pants with polished black leather shoes and a monocle in the left eye said:

"First we have the Constituzione Roulette, we have Yes Pollets which is black, No Pollets which is Red and the Zero Abstain Pollet that is Green, Midori Green, like the Green Tea, Oosha. What makes this game challenging, is that all the players around the table vote every round for if they want to see where they place their bets or not, we call this public and private pollets, if you are in doubt, you can always play the abstain pollet, which is the cheapest and easiest to play pollet. The side that wins, yes or no, divides the other sides spoils"

The Man without a name asked, "What happens to the guy that bets Abstain?"

The Croupier smiled smugly

"The Abstain bet is a very weird bet, special house guests are allowed to interpret it as either yes or no, or we toss a coin for what it means, or the players vote over what we means, yes sometimes we even bet over what the abstain means or let the Panda "Tumbler" pick the ballot. Normally, people with the Abstain Abstinence Syndrome are allowed to place their bets, but as an extra penaly, they got to pay drinks for everyone in the room"

The Man without a name was nodding, as if he knew exaxtly what was going on.

"So if I play Abstain, and I lose, and I pick up this big revolver and stick it inside your mouth, and I quote the Constituzione as I see it fit, then you let me win?"

The Croupier smiled again, showing a gold teeth...

"We only got three regulars that can do that, the rest of you are disarmed by the entrance, and these three always abstain from betting on abstain.
However..." he said with an afraid and concerned voice ...."they press the pedal if some of the players win too much in a row, you know, the House
Always Wins, and then they throw out that player out of the Casino for some while. However, if anyone feel treated unfairly, Judge Provolution may decide
that right from the bat in the Saloon Courthouse, using the local Sharyu legislation which is very macho, arbitrary and decapitating in a legal sense"

The Man without a name nodded again, "now I see how it works..."

"What about cardgames, do you have any?"

The croupier lightened up and grinned...revealing a silver tooth

"Well we do have a game called Voter, where you got five cards each on five players. New players start by knowing one card, veteran players start by knowing five cards. Veteran players are allowed to remove their worst card and pick a random card from the new player. The Diamond Queen is the best card, that beats all cards in the deck, then you got the Club King, then you got the Jack of Hearts and then you got the joker cards. However, one of the players for some strange reason always collect joker cards, where no one seems to want the ace cards. Then again, everyone bets on the Vote, and even with biased rules for regular guests, the game surprises"

The Man without a name shrugged

"How do you win this game?"

The Croupier, relished, sipped a drink of cognac, now revealing a wooden teeth

"You never win this game stranger, it is all about being one happy family, and to lead the poker table to give a little bit extra to the three best players. However, for every round we play, the winner is allowed to change the role of
three cards in the deck, and rewrite the rules according to Constituzione House rules for Voter. I know this is confusing, but we have played this game
for years now, and it is very addictive. If you are good at it, you may even work here as a croupier yourself"

The Man without a name was quiet, his eyes glittering with evil insight...

"What about dices, do you have any dice games ?"

The Croupier laughed loud, revealing a pearl piercing in his tongue

"Stranger, all inside here play with loaded dice, so bring your own, otherwise someone will just trick you!"

The Man without a Name smiled, finally, with a vicious grin and a perfect set of white teeth

"I have a proposal you cannot refuse Casino-Man, I like your teeth, they smile brighter than mine, and now that I know the odds in this Japanatican game of yours, I want to challenge you to a revolver duel at noon, mano el mano"

The croupier smiled innocently, now revealing his vicious canine teeth in the corners of his jaw, amazing that the Man without a Name did not see them...

"I want your soul and your body if you lose, and I have not eaten since from Dusk Till Dawn. I have tasted Roman, Zulu and French, as well as Japanatican. The only law out here, especially in Casino Constituzione, is survival and the illusion of a fair game, and when I mean fair game, I do not mean gambling, YOU ARE FAIR GAME, plus you need to get along..."

"Stranger, you are free to take a bath in marinade upstairs, since I am going
to feast upon you by noon, and there is no abstain for you now...."

TO BE CONTINUED

One day, the word hit the saloons of Kagemusha. The Man without a Name heard out a conversation about a grand game for invitees only, a card game of Constituzione Casino special game, called Corrupzione. The entire objective of this cardgame was to take place in Constituzione Casinos Forbidden Room.

The key singer, Frank Cycatra was to sing the famous crooner song "My Veii", about a man from Fanatikku that was fighting for the localization of a certain building with the various officials in the governmental palaces.

My Veii

And now, the Term is near;
And so I face the final polling.
My minister, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm calling.

I've run a court that's full.
I've been walking each and ev'ry hallway;
But more, much more than this,
I did it my Veii.

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my Veii.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my Veii.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
"No, oh no not me,
I did it my Veii".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The records shows I took the blows -
And did it my Veii!


The people applauded this famous crooner, Frank Cycatra was said to have underground connections, but only did his profession as an independent artist. However, he went to Kagemusha from time to time to sing in the Casino. Mr. Cycatra, was known to make a good performance, but some tough bouncers at a couple of nightclubs on the suspicion of gangster connections threw him out on suspicion only.

Now, the big cardgame in the Forbidden Room. The scary croupier Pierre Armand "Slick", told to be a devil himself, was the carddealer.
Epicrisis, the famous hustler of Northern Japanatica, a naturalized Roman of the conquered territories was one of the key players.

Asano gazed out the window of the stagecoach as it glided down the road towards its destination. He recanted his journey thus far.

Having developed Jakuza to the point of a military base to include small industries needed to sustain it, delegation of authority to control day-to-day operations was handled by a few words in a packet of orders. Weapons were being forged, crops traded, goods sold. The river docks were used more and more for transportation goods and people. A main reason for Asano’s trip to Zojoji was to firm up the expansion of the Iron trade through Jakuza. Metals were the future, and Jakuza would be part of it.

He and Oishi had taken a small guard detail on horseback to Zojoji, and had been well met by the Mayor. Industry leaders were smoozed and deals were signed, everyone seemed happy, especially Mayor Cyc, who was glad to see a commercial boon in his city. Smiling, he wondered how much of a cut the Mayor was getting…

“Please, you must join us in our trip to the Constituzione, or Constitution (as we like to say...) Casino up North”, Cyc said with genuine sincerity. “We have planned a great trip and I insist you allow us to treat the both of you to a new world of delight.” As there was no argument from the wide-eyed Oishi, the next morning we all climbed into this luxurious stagecoach and headed out.

Bringing his gaze back into the stagecoach, Asano let his eyes move from one traveler to the next. Oishi glanced an acknowledgement and returned to reading his meditation book. At least he appeared to be reading, he could have been stealing 40 winks here and there. Across from Oishi was a female guest of the Mayor’s. Kaori, a strikingly beautiful woman, she sat proudly, in what seemed to be an attempt not to be flustered by the long ride. Asano wasn’t sure of her purpose on this trip, enjoyable companionship to be sure, but her mesmerizing eyes and confident smile led one to wonder. And last but not least was Mayor Cyc himself. A man with many paths in his past, Cyc had accumulated enough power to retire as Mayor of one of Japanatica’s leading cities. Zojoji’s Iron trade, coastal port, and Cultural development suited Cyc and he had been well accepted by the city. The Mayor must have sensed Asano’s gaze, as he turned and smiled at the Immo based businessman. “Are you prepared to wager your profits in the games of chance, Asano?” he said chuckling. “Our coach now arrives at the Casino, I must introduce you all to Provolution, the Mayor of this fine town.”

The group entered the Casino admiring the architecture and well lit rooms. Smoke and the smell of alcohol entered their nostrils. Asano could not help notice Kaori’s attire. The dress was tight from the neck down to the thighs in a jade green satin material with small silver dragons embroidered in it. The lower portion of the dress was a flowing cotton design with a promise of heaven as it swayed with her walk. Her walk was the embodiment of calm sensuality. “How does Cyc do it?” was the thought that crossed Asano’s mind. The group stopped at a logical separation point. Oishi smiled and removed the dice from his jacket pocket. He let them rattle in his hand. Oishi would only gamble with the dice. He connected the game with fate, and his faith governed his fate. The difference between Oishi’s dice and everyone else’s was that his were not loaded. But his size and demeanor may not help him much here. He turned and headed in the direction of the dice games.

With that, Provolution joined their group. Mayor Cyc made all of the introductions, making sure everyone was on a first name basis. Then, “Mayor Provolution, I have been reading about the Voter game and find it very interesting. Unique rules indeed. I would like to introduce my friends to this game, as well as learn more about it myself. Might you have a private game somewhere a little more secluded? I've even heard of a place called the Forbidden Room. What's that all about?”

Pierre Armand, the Croupier with an unusal dental record and a contract with the devil escorted Cyc, Kaori and Azano to a table with somewhere between 10-11 people, all sharing the same deck of cards, with to cards put on the table. Pierre explained,

"This is a very complex game, with elements of bridge, we got North, South, East and West, we are allowed to cheat a maximum of 5 times, then we give a warning, but cheating is allowed as long as it is sanctioned by a Croupier. also, like in Bridge, we have codes on types of playing cards. Way, which is Clubs, is a legit card you hammer down if you are well into the Constituzione rules, the same applies to Home, which is Hearts, which is is a card you play when you feel you do the right thing, but when no one listens to you. Oddball is Spades and more in line with the Corrupzione Rules, which also applies to Piece, which is Diamonds. Corrupzione is the non-procedural rules which include bribing harlots and babes in the room to fondle you, read your opponents cards, whisper that result into your ear and make sure the bribe is good enough to tell the truth. Each player is only allowed to have an account of 1000 CCs of gold for each Forbidden Room game. This means, you can comfort yourself with the harlots and babes in the room, and pay them to help you, fondle them, drink with them and so on,
but no hankypanky within the forbidden room, we are strictly here for a fair cardgame
of Corrupzione et Constituzione.

Provolution, drunk as a sailor hardly managed to sit into a chair, before he began to sleep, unaware of the mesmerizing, highly complex and initimidating cardgame taking place. Pierre told Cyc

"Kaori would serve as your harlot and babe, and you can send her around the room to flirt and fondle with the other players in order to get information, spread desinformation, distract your opponent or to give them a good time to be nice, where Asano is more your bodyguard, that watches your back, so no one steals your cards, replaces them or in general pickpocketing your money, poisoning your drink or sending some beautiful babe or harlot that would distract you with excessive fondling."

Pierre opened, "ok you are the most seasoned and corrupt gambler Epicrisis, so you can begin. I draw the first card and you have to play ODDBALL cards this game!"
Epicrisis thre up his arms in triumph and satsisfaction, smiling like a lit lamp he turned his triumphant face to the other players, aware he got an excellent starting card.

"Vote Oddball! We can start now, while Home and the Ante can't be started for a while and will shuffle a shrinking deck and bet! Oddball!Come on, I want a new full house of cards!"

In the background the Blackjack Man noticed the drunk Provolution sleeping in the chair, "I would think the Forbidden Room would be forbidden to the Mayor?"

Epicrisis responded in kind, saluting with a glass of Sunburn beer
"Exactly. He can't get in unless Casino Director MHCarver invites him.
What else would you expect from the mayor of a corrupt city with five of his donkeys lost to corruption,? Oh, and he is inviting you all over for whisky."

Epicrisis saw through his cards, comparing them before he announced,
"Ahem...We don't have Way, its already been pocketed by the harlots, Unless you figure we should just turn on our harlots the moment we're done. That's a great way to thank them. "I didn't say you could fondle, just distract them!"

Big Mama, the oldest lady working in the casino said to one of the babes in the room,
"Remember, this is a vanilla milkshake, not Rum. It's still the old corrupzione drink.
I'd rather have it further north..."

The Blackjack gave another advise to the female casinostaffers, and smiled joyously,
"To harlots: "It's not a trick against you. It's a playing card for unifying the deck!
We could croupier flip the deck, or provoke the harlots. After all, they're only our harlots for the bet against Home. After that we're free game to them and vice versa."

Epicrisis began to open his purse starting sending gold coin pies to all officials. "Oddball is clearly superior to a deck we do not currently have, nor will have for a long while."

TimBentley sees 5 cards has been sent by Epicrisis. He takes a card, and his stomach immediately feels bad. "Are those gold coins due to corrupzione? If so, we've already got plenty of gold corrupted in Kitakinu."

Zojoji Mayor Cyc reflected to the other players in the Forbidden Room
"In a lot of my games, I can make the Forbidden Room a greater deck than the Main Pot, but not with the Croupier. I would like to see us do that here. I still believe Oddball is too close, but with the relevant Ante with Way, if we could snag that deck...with increasing the bet it will grow very strong as well as quell corrupzione evenly in the South."

The Monopoly Guy cordially replied to Cyc, displaying an expensive silvered monocle.
"It depends on when we want to leave the Forbidden Room. We're not going to have Way anytime soon, so if we vote to bet on it there we're not gonna have the Royal Straight Flush for a while. I like the idea of putting it in Home-- a deck we'll be getting hopefully next round, and a deck in just as good a position as Way. Plus, we'll also be getting out of the Forbidden Room sooner, thus reducing corrupzione sooner and getting more use out of the Royal Straight Flush than if we wait for Way."

Epicrisis commented quickly, as he was reshufling his hand of cards.
"I guess I should've put my cards into Royal House in there instead.
Oddball can get it sooner than all of those, because we can start showing the cards now. Its even more relevant in the constituzione sense. And its not full of Home cards. Do you really want a bunch of friggin Home Cards running out before the Main Pot?"

The Man without a Name came down from the Marinade Bath upstairs, tired, but holding one of his revolvers preparing for the High Noon Duel.
"Ouch. I chipped my tooth. I thought this revolver would be good chewing. What is this? A coin. Who's fingerprints is on it? Wait, isn't that Epicrisis fingerprints on that coin? Boy, he does not think does he!"

Epicrisis then shouted into the Forbidden Room, calling everyones immediate attention.
"Am I the only one who noticed WE DON'T HAVE WAY?!
And when we do, its not exactly relevant to the constituzione. Right now we're clamoring to play out the South. What makes you think once we're done we won't be doing the same to the north? Look at last time. We played the entire town. And the north is far larger and will suffer from worse corrupzione. Oddball is quick, relevant, easy, and practical, since we won't have to fondle our harlots and partically level the deck before sharing a fortune in it."

Epiciris then continued with his sublime and excellent statistical skill, being the nations foremost player in corrupzione, and with no record on doing so, he was never discovered during cardgames, even though everyone knew he played borderline.
"Remember; Pocketing Oddball takes a tenth of the sum Home cards would.
Oddball has a relevant position for the entire constitutione. Oddball is in the beginning of what would be a very profitable pot were it not for corrupzione. Oddball was not hurt by the bet, and does not need any basic reimbursements, unlike Home or Way. Oddball is actually within our grasp, also unlike Way. While we're voting for Way, why not put Backgammon up there? Or Tennis? We don't have those either."

The Monopoly Guy replied once again cordially, squinting his monocle eye either to buy an extra contraband card or to order a drink, hard to tell.
"While I agree with you, Epicrisis, that Way is not a viable option at the moment, there is little doubt that we will be in possession of it before very long. All of our perverted minds seem to be focused on a harlot action in the near future. However, I still support Home as the base card in the Forbidden Room."

Epicrisis then complimented the female casino staffers in a colloquial manner.
"Even if we are going to turn on our harlots, keep this in mind that since we first contacted the other Babes we've been scrubbing their butts. We finally did it against the Home Cards, and immediately we're plotting to fondle on our very harlots the moment we can. This certainly points to our taking the Southern part of the constituzione. But why think we're going to stop there? I wouldn't be surprised, or happy, were we to gamble the entire constituzione, if not the town. And if we do, Way won't be a very good card. The north would be rampant with corrupzione. Oddball is relevant to the constituzione, so it will be useful no matter where we expand. Plus its in a profitable set of cards that shuffles from corrupzione, so betting on it there will only improve profitability."

McDuck, standing besides Epicrisis said in a sad way.
"We. Lost. Epicrisis. Although, not by enough of a margin that, if we don't get out of the Forbidden Room by the time we go to gamble with Blackjack, I can't reconsider with, say, Bipeds..."

Epicrisis quietly signals to his secretary to stop watching over his opponents back
"Dammit. I wanted to be majoring of the main pot. But on the bright side, at least I get to be corrupzione for longer!" Epicrisis then pockets the money from Royal house pot.

Epicrisis then stood up from the chair and climbed it, yelling into the room.
"Oddball is relevant for the entire constituzione, profitable, the pot of a lifetime, and within our grasp. The royal house could be dealt easily and would reduce corrupzione throughout the profitable window mirror combinations, while also helping to soften the French blow that the harlots job would experience if we brought them to the room. It's also the third most important, third in line for pot, deck. So VOTE ODDBALL"!
Note that "kittens" can be a euphimism for characters who don't vote for ODDBALL.

A dancer on a stage in the background, outside the room could hear the shouting, and shouted back at Epicrisis "Voting for the kitty citty and waiting for the eight round of the mudwrestling match"

A Criminal in the background quickly comments from behind a curtain.
"I see croupier flips with the harlots to be very unlikely by now. And there won't be a bet with them unless they see us, or 15 dice and card packings suddenly change their content."

Epicrisis jumped up, realized that his combination of cards and maneuvers in the room gave him all the cards he needed and he shouted
"I WON! Hooray! Oddball is The Main Pot!"

“I tell you, Cyc,” stated Asano, with a sweep of his right arm, “the whole thing’s wrong. The game’s up.”

“What game’s up?” demanded Cyc, slowly looking around the table for help with the answer.

“THE game. OUR game. Read that.”

“Whose doing is this?” said Cyc.

“Impossible to imagine,” said Asano.

“Perhaps,” suggested Cyc, after reflecting with a very discontented brow, “somebody has been giving you a bad character.”

“Or you,” said Asano, with a deeper frown.

Cyc had thought that the knowledge he held about this game would explain the quick, almost choreographed antics that had taken place only minutes ago, but to no avail. His friend Asano was questioning the reality of the situation, and the other players were no help. The croupier shuffled the cards which had backs that changed from red to blue, then some had faces on both sides, and then upon noticing Cyc’s stare, reproduced the original deck without effort. “Quite an interesting game, yes. Quite."

Kaori came to massage Cyc’s shoulders and neck with what felt like magic fingers. He would remain silent, enjoying the massage until the next game was to start. Upon examining his drink, he saw the dark red fluid canvas for the etched card figures on his goblet, who were playing croquet…

Provolution came to his senses again, his eyes red from heavy whisky drinking.
Provolution continued "Mayor Cyc, what kind of game should we play now, some Presidential League Horseracing, Swazi Flip Blackjack, or you can play our new One-Limbed Bandit Jackpot Machine, a straight game of Voter or should we wait for the Kagemusha Gambling Comission rear its ugly head in ripping apart our happy family business in this casino?"

(OOC: Good story, although I'm not sure how you came up with Man without a Name or Monopoly Guy)

Tim (not to be confused with the governor), president and professor of mathematics at the University of Zojoji, rode into town. He walked into the casino, making sure he had his dice in his pocket (since he had heard about the scandal involving loaded dice). He walked up to the croupier and said, "I have heard this casino is the best in all of Japanatica. I am a professor of mathematics, and am interested in probability. What games should I play so that I can analyze the probabilities of the various outcomes?"

The croupier replied, "I know of just the game. Come and I will show you...."

Honored Governor Tim Bentley, Daimyo of Kitakinu

TimBentley saw that Cyc, Kaori hos courtesan, Oishi and Asano was sitting by the table, Provolution was lecturing about game theory, and good Casino Director MHCarver was sitting next by, smiling at the brilliant expertise the casino had amassed, an uncut diamond on the Northern Frontier. Provolution spoke, silencio....

"You are welcome to take a very exclusive class here in the darkest secret of game theory Japanatica has ever seen. we will go through the four disciplines of Ancient Roman-Japanatican numeric acrobatics, going through Constituzione Algebra Stocastic Logarithms, via Compazzione Game Theory, Converzazione and Conspirazione Chaos casuality instrumental theory."

Provolution walked like a Court attorney back and forth in the room, flies was buzzing in the window, and he turned dramatically and continued...

"We start very very simple in our first lecture, for us at least. with Xeno-empthatic transnational telepathy tested on the best and the brightest minds of Japanatica.
The first lecture in Kagemusha Game Theory would be in fundamental principles for multiplication and division with hedge risk management of a quadrile of a quadriles worth to a designated risk segment of a quadrile of the total of 16 nations. We need to find out which four nations that are not existing in this world, which is a hard thing to do, as this superiorly advanced math even challenge Genesis itself. Where we are knowing the first constant, which is Japanatica, and we are allowed to guess one wrong omitted nation out of five guesses, but the remainder must be omitted."

He paused, smiling conspicuously about his intimate knowledge of history....

"Only one person, a great historical person we will see in the other stocastical cases, managed to guess or assess (Constituzione) or in other ways assert or arrange (Corrupzione) that the four nations that were omitted was actually accurately published before the results was known, at least we think so. These four nations were
Egypt, England, Greece and Persia, and she hedged risked France, the inventor of Casinos, corruption and probability theory from the days of Pascal."

Then, Provolution put his hand to an Aristotlean pose, holding his cheek in order to maximize electric pulses through the powered militaristic-intelligence-casino brain.

"What are the odds for this you would ask as an academic professional?
Well, I can say you this much, first we need to establish the main mathematical body by removing the constant of Japanatica from the equation, reducing the variables to 15 from 16. Then we need to multiply the four omitted variables that were correct.
Here it goes, (1/15) X (1/14) X (1/13) X (!/!2), which is subtotalled at 0,00003 and then weighted up against the hedge risk ( A=(1/15) X (1/14) X (1/13) X (!/!2)) / (1/11) which then becomes the net probability of 0,00033, which is One to three thousand. In economic terms, this is very good odds at in the Casino, where a bet worth, say a million Japanatican Yen (The Value of a Horse) is giving a bounty of 3 billion Japanatican Yen (The Value of Northern Kitakuni Province). One can ask yourself that 1-3000 thousand odds could win, if it was talent, luck or some other reason.
However, there is more to the story of this historical person."

Provolution added more icecubes, gotten from Mustard Hills, to the Whiskey and sipped, satisfied that Scholar Governor Tim Bentley had gotten more knowledge.

"Now we get deeper into the probability theory of Japanatica, it is the Legend of the Three Gambling Croupiers, a story that will blow your mind of Japanatican wisdom."

the group was dazzled, how could all this be possible.

Tim thought about Provolution's calculations and noticed an error. He said, "You have inadvertently forgotten that the order of the choices is immaterial. Rather than there being 32760 permutations, the calculations call for 1365 combinations of 15 numbers taken 4 at a time. Since there are 11 correct choices due to the possibility of one incorrect choice, the probability of selecting the four nations is 11/1365, or approximately 0.8%. Could I also have a more detailed report of the predictions of all those who predicted, so I can do more detailed analysis?"

Provolution replied, "You are correct. I will obtain a fuller record for you."

Upon receiving the report, Tim glanced at it and put it in his pocket. He thought of more questions to be asked, such as the probability of getting a different number of nations correct, or the probability that at least one of the predictions would be correct.

Professor Tim put the paper in his pocket and pulled up a chair to the table next to Asano. Cordially Asano, in greeting the acedemic said, "Let me get you something to drink", and flagged a coctail waitress over. He then continued as Tim straightened his tie and put away his glasses, "The only thing I'm sure of is that what's right is what's left, after you've done everything else wrong." Smiling, he then lit a long thin cigar and took a drink from his glass of spirits. "Cheers."

Suddenly one of the croupiers came in, whispering a couple of words into the ear of Casino Director MhCarver, who then went forward and whispered to Provolution. Provolution then turned red, then pale, then red again, and then began to sweat.
He slowly and softly said

"We have breaking news from the game in the Forbidden Room, it seems like some of the other players are having a showdown with Epicrisis over his Oddball combination of cards. It seems like there has been some new development in this ongoing game. I could almost swear that Epicrisis got the main pot with his kitty kitty Oddball Furball combination of cards. Now that combination of cards have changed. We need to run back to the forbidden room to see what is going on there. Honored Professor Tim Bentley, please join us for the mathemathical input, you passed our little permutation test, and would be of good help assisting Cyc here with your keen Kitakinu Corrupzione insight and probability theory skills."

Tim Bentley was shocked. "How can I help Cycs hand in a game, is not that stirctly illegal in a game of cards? Should not I be neutral?"

Provolution answered "Do not tell me you are one of these protest players or serial abstainers, be a man and rise to the occasion, and assist Cyc as part of your corrupzione studies in the probability field"

Tim Bentley muttered "yes yes, I go along then..."

Back in the Forbidden Room everything was chaos, at the very second the game was about to close for a final win for the Oddball combination, several harlots, many of them bowlegged from all the riding they did upstairs, had approached Epicrisis Oddball team of cardplayers, and befondled him from all angles. These harlots, with their feathered tiaras, feather-boas, long stockings, daring sexual rite tatoos and tanned brown skin had casually closed down on poor Epicrisis, and befondled him so bad just before he was to present his cards that he shouted out in arousal and hubris of pride.

"I got a raise, I got a raise, I double my bet here and now and go for oddball with all the balls I got and this almost felt, org... orga... organizational yes yes..."

Cyc smiled shrewdly and calmly, having betted all his money on the Veii combination of cards.

"Epicrisis, I think this will give your Epicrisis nothing but a Card-iovascular shock and maybe even a card-ial disease, I got some Heart cards here, but lover boy, this is Going My Way, if you read my lips straight, and I do both mean my lips, and my harlots various "lips". We got you with your pants down, you got a raise in your bet, but we took you from behind, a whole posse of harlots coming down on you ended your dreams of the Epiciris Oddball combination, since now the game of corrupzione now all went South, and it could be Home, Pieces or then My Way. I will have Frank Cycatra coming over to sing "My Veii", Queen Chieftesses "Chatters in the Moonlight" and finally the hit "Donsig in the Rain" to celebrate My Way Main Pot."

Epicrisis stuttered "But .but but... My kitty kitty Oddball...all Gone?"

Cyc triumphedly rejoiced "A harlots butt, not but, I stood it tall, I did it My Way"

Prvolution, WHAT A GAME *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP*

TimBentley had been playing Swazi Flip Blackjack for a long time. In this game, players bet on the chance that a stack of cards in the middle will flip over. Cards are also placed around the middle stack. In this particular game, some cards had been brought from the Zulu. This is a very mathematical game, with the chances of victory depending on the number and type of cards in the stack, the number of cards around the stack, the distance to the decks from Japanatica and Zululand, and even how cultured the players were. TimBentley ensured as many cards as possible were placed around the stack.

One day, TimBentley walked in the casino and walked to the Swazi Flip Blackjack table. Chieftess was the dealer that day, and was moving various cards around. Suddenly, the middle stack of cards flipped. All those who had bet in the game rejoiced, but none more then TimBentley, as he had bet the most money on Swazi.

With the stack flipped, TimBentley realized there were too many cards in the area. He said, "As you can see, the stack has flipped. Cards are currently being removed; however, I believe it should eventually be thrown away."

A drunkard said, "Remove a couple of cards, then throw it away. We don't want it flipping over again, and it increases corrupzione."

The Monopoly Guy said, "I agree. That stack adds nothing to the deck. Remove as many cards as are possible, then throw it away."

McDuck said, "Throw it away, after getting the Zulu cards from it, i.e. let's let it grow after remove the first card. Too bad we can't make any hands with only one card. Or even two cards with cannons. By the way, any preferences as to where those cards should go, governor?"

TimBentley said, "Just a note, if we throw the stack away with 50% or more foreign cards, other civilizations won't lend us any more cards, especially the Zulu. No, I don't really have any preferences where those cards would go."

A military officer said, "It's good to hear the players here are cultured. I would just throw the stack away since it's worthless anyways."

The Blackjack Man said, "We should try selling the stack and have it flip again!"

The military officer replied, "I don't think we should do this. Since it would be unprofitable. The stack will be constantly flipping, and it leaves a hole in the deck."

The drunkard said, "Nobody will buy used stacks. The only way they will trade stacks is when someone gives it away to end a gunfight. But we can throw it away."

The military officer said, "We should just throw the stack away and use the cards in other stacks."

The drunkard replied, "No, you only get to keep the cards when you throw a stack away after taking it from someone by force, rather than when it flips over."

Provolution said, "Root out Swazism, the Swazis and the Swazitika and level Swazi. I never liked their actor Patrick Swazi, I never liked their Governor Swazi-negger, and Swazi is a quasi stack with no future. So remove Swazi from the face of the table."

An invisible man replied, "Provolution, you have been doing a lot of play on words at my expense." Provolution told him about his godfather and the invisible man stabbed himself in the stomach.

TimBentley called for a vote. He asked, "Should we throw away the stack, should we get rid of some of the cards first, should we wait for the cards to become Japanatican, should we wait for the stack to grow before abandoning it, should we give the stack away, or should we just keep the stack away?"

Provolution said, "Removing a card and removing the stack and placing it elsewhere is the most profitable way to remove Swazi, as the stack may be used elsewhere."

Cyc said, "I don't see this as a major problem. I give my vote to Governor TimBentley."

A man who claimed to have control if the president was indisposed said, "Keep removing cards until only Japanatican cards are left. Then throw it away. The northern part of the table could use more cards."

The military officer said, "No need to waste the cards when a pretty good card could be removed. Just throw the stack away after one card has been removed."

A dancer said, "Why don't we just keep it? Maybe more cards brought from Zululand will flip."

A criminal said, "No! We are much too cultured. Throw the stack away!"

The dancer replied, "I don't see how throwing out a perfectly good stack of cards is enlightened. If are truly too cultured, we should return the stack to the Zulu. If not we should treat it like a normal stack." The criminal muttered something about a hammer.

In the end the votes were tallied and TimBentley announced that one card would be removed from the stack, and that the stack would be thrown away once it had grown enough that the Zulu wouldn't upset for throwing away mostly their cards.

I stood there, dejected. Maybe my reputation as a criminal gave people preconceptions of me. Instead of yelling, "Hey, people! What's the deal with enslaving people who risked their lives to join our nation? I mean, aren't we enlightend?", I let out a sarcastic jab at our society. Nobody seemed to notice. The dancer somewhat understood the point, but in another way didn't at all. His idea about gifting the stack back was insane! How would the stack be treated by its old comrads after defecting?

Even though I partially reached the dancer through my comment, the only person who understood the slightest meaning, I later lashed out on him WITH ANOTHER SARCASTIC COMMENT. He didn't reply but turned to go dancing. A friend of mine approached me, a fellow citizen from En'Gha on vacation.

"Crimso," he said, "we were just playing a game, remember? A game of Swazi Flip Blackjack!"

It was at that moment I realized that laws of fighting wars were the topics of another game. Honor, enlightenment, and dignity only applied in that game; when we played Swazi Flip Blackjack there were no such ideals.

Beyond that still, they are all just games... through this acceptance I adopted a new outlook: they're all games, so have fun!

After knocking back a few drinks, I proceeded to the "Old Mission" across the street, remembering some advice given to me by a fellow gambler: "LOTS of prostitues in there!"

all of a sudden a trumpet blew than again and again all heads turned towards the sounds and over the hill came the head of the marching column of the infamous 41st Samuari division....murmurs went through the crowd the 41st is here, fearless warriors who had served the empire in every war since its formation, whenever the line was wavering it would rally whenever a unit was needed to lead an assault it was called under the guidence of its charamastic leader......this could only mean one thing thought the citzens of Kagemusha......there a single man stood out as the column marched through the city a man donned in the white of a naval uniform in all its glamour and pride the 6ft handsome dark skinned figure of Grand Admiral Ali....the crowd gasp!!...the young officer a vet of a number wars whom had rapidly gone through the ranks combating the enemies of the state both internally and externally in all its forms, corruption, armees, etc, etc........Than the column made a sudden stop in the city centre, where the Grand Admiral stopped and stepped up the pondium....."Ladies and gentleman im here with the military to help organise a new era of military thinking and doctrine that will lead to a revolution to fight the enemies of our state both internally and externally in short theres a new sherrif in town" with that the trupets blew and the crime lords of the nation began to know a new feeling that had never knew before......fear

The Prolonged game in the Forbidden Room saw new developments, in fact Epicrisis had invited the young and highly attractive lounge singer
Britten Spears, a pacifist singer that dreamt about Oddball card combinations since she was a small child, and would do anything to make a last turn move in order to make the Oddball combination win inside the Forbidden Room.
Epicrisis produdly clutched Britten Spears , the pacifist bunny, on her ripe skin behind her back with his sleeve-hidden Diamond Queen and King of Clubs cards, who he had discarded from the table. He said to Britten, now sing, and make them confused with the Poll me one more time song.

"Poll me one more time"

[dance]


Oh Epi, Epi
How was I supposed to know
That something wasn't right here
Oh Epi, Epi
I shouldn't have let you go
And now you're out of sight, yeah
Show me how want it to be
Tell me Epi 'cause I need to know now, oh because

Chorus:
My corruption is killing me
I must confess I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Poll me Epi one more time

Oh Epi, Epi
The reason I sweat is you
Boy you got me blinded
Oh mighty Epi
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
It's not the way I planned it
Show me how you want it to be
Tell me Epi 'cause I need to know now, oh because

Chorus:
My corruption is killing me
I must confess I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Poll me Epi one more time

Oh Epi, Epi how was I supposed to know
Oh mighty Epi, I shouldn't have let you go
I must confess, that my loneliness is killing me now
Don't you know I still believe
That you will be here
And give me a sign
Poll me Epi one more time

Chorus:
My corruption is killing me
I must confess I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Poll me Epi one more time



Finally, all the gamblers , courtesans as well as croupiers was mesmerized by this spectacle as they lost their cards on the floor in the very minute that the other card combinations prepared to cash in. Epicrisis laughed, finally I got you alll!

Moderator Action: Edited for content against the forum rules.

Receiving news that Wall Street had been built in En'Gha, he wrote a letter and sent it to a stock broker there. He then found Provolution and said, "I have decided to buy stock in some of the desert here. I have heard there is the possibility of a valuable resource being found here, so I shall invest here. This is one circumstance where probability does not help, as the probability is too difficult to determine."

Then a messenger came in and gave Tim a letter. Tim glanced at it and noticed the addressee was Gottfried Leibniz from the University of Beijing. He quickly opened it and read it. He said, "A wonderful mathematical discovery has been made. Thank you for an enjoyable visit. I must now return to Zojoji." He went to his horse and rode off.

Provolution said:

"What are the odds for this you would ask as an academic professional?
Well, I can say you this much, first we need to establish the main mathematical body by removing the constant of Japanatica from the equation, reducing the variables to 15 from 16. Then we need to multiply the four omitted variables that were correct.
Here it goes, (1/15) X (1/14) X (1/13) X (!/!2), which is subtotalled at 0,00003 and then weighted up against the hedge risk ( A=(1/15) X (1/14) X (1/13) X (!/!2)) / (1/11) which then becomes the net probability of 0,00033, which is One to three thousand. In economic terms, this is very good odds at in the Casino, where a bet worth, say a million Japanatican Yen (The Value of a Horse) is giving a bounty of 3 billion Japanatican Yen (The Value of Northern Kitakuni Province). One can ask yourself that 1-3000 thousand odds could win, if it was talent, luck or some other reason.
However, there is more to the story of this historical person."

Click to expand...

TimBentley said:

Tim thought about Provolution's calculations and noticed an error. He said, "You have inadvertently forgotten that the order of the choices is immaterial. Rather than there being 32760 permutations, the calculations call for 1365 combinations of 15 numbers taken 4 at a time. Since there are 11 correct choices due to the possibility of one incorrect choice, the probability of selecting the four nations is 11/1365, or approximately 0.8%. Could I also have a more detailed report of the predictions of all those who predicted, so I can do more detailed analysis?"

Click to expand...

Sorry to say, but you are actually both wrong. You need to take into account the number of ways in which you could actually arrive at the result. For example, you could choose England, Egypt Greeze, Persia, or Persia England, Egypt, Greece, and so on, giving 4 x 3 x 2 x 1 = 24 ways you could get the right answer. There are a lot of ways you could get 3 right. The true probabilities are as follows:

Probability of getting # right:
4 = 0.07%
3 = 3.22%
2 = 24.18%
1 = 48.35%
0 = 24.18%

And yes, I am a nerd, and yes, I do do this for a living (kind of)

But each person selected five countries, of which only four needed to be correct. So the probability of getting all four right would be multiplied by the 11 possibilities of the wrong country, which would be 0.8%. 11 X 24 / 32760 = 11 / 1365. I won't do the other calculations until I decide to teach them to my (mostly nameless) class.

Edit: Oops, I made a mistake. The permutations and combinations should be taken 5 at a time, not 4. So there would be 360360 permutations or 3003 combinations. The probability would be 11/3003 or 11 X 120 / 360360 or 0.3%.

Suddenly a gospelsinger came in from the outside, someone from the local Roman population, and showed the dancer away from the stage, and began so sing with the passion and self righteousness that can only come from a persecuted people with a tragic history.

Go Down, Moses
When Romans was in Japan's land,
Let my people go.
Oppressed so hard they could not stand,
Let my people go.
Chorus
Go down, Moses,
'Way down in Japan's land.
Tell ole Donald,
Let my people go.

We need not always weep and mourn,
Let my people go.
And wear these slav'ry chains forlorn
Let my people go.

Domestic thought it had us fast
Let my people go.
But we thought we'd break its chains at last,
Let my people go.

Thus saith the Lord, bold Moses said,
Let my people go.
If not I'll smite your first polls — dead,
Let my people go.

No more shall they in bondage toil,
Let my people go.
Let them come out with Japan's spoil,
Let my people go.

When Romans out of Japan came,
Let my people go.
And left the proud oppressive land,
Let my people go.

O 'twas a dark and dismal night,
Let my people go.
When Moses led the Romanites's,
Let my people go.

The Lord told Moses what to do,
Let my people go.
To lead the children of Japan thro',
Let my people go.

As Romans stood by the water side,
Let my people go.
By God's command it did divide,
Let my people go.

When they reached the other shore,
Let my people go.
They sang a song of triumph o'er,
Let my people go.

Provolution was wet in his eyes, was it whiskey or was it compassion, hard to tell. Provolution said, "Yes, they may have a point, maybe we should send the
Foreign workers home, they are just being slow in developing Kagemusha, and
our reputation has scared away foreign Casino guests...."

Provolution said:

Suddenly a gospelsinger came in from the outside, someone from the local Roman population, and showed the dancer away from the stage, and began so sing with the passion and self righteousness that can only come from a persecuted people with a tragic history.

Click to expand...

Wow! Jewish gospel singers... This is good wine...