YosefNES I: Oif Gelt, Oif Gelt, un Oif Gelt

@Israelite
The state of affairs you wanted already exists. By signing a trade pact you were implying moving towards free trade, which is the way the pacts were phrased by other people. If you wanted something more specific, you should have said so in your orders. Don't worry, the effects have mostly mitigated by now, the point was to get people to play IC.
Is there a player for the Aztecs?

Great Update, thanks.
No Aztec player. Would really like one. For now, I'm trying to progress with them as closely to OTL as possible (it's difficult, as maps generally show reign-by-reign, not year-by-year, progression).
 
IC:
To: Most Serene Republic of Italy
From: The Kingdom of France:


The Kingdom of France again reiterates our words to the Kingdom of Spain. Neither the Kingdom of Spain or the Serene Republic of Italy had expressed any interest in Columbia. It is not the duty of the representatives of His Majesty to question every ruler of a realm to seek their position. His Majesty is not God, he does not know the hearts of men.

However, France must apologize for overlooking the Republic of Italy's diplomatic envoys. That error is due to our diplomatic corps and for that His Majesty is most distressed. His Majesty is likewise distressed at the events which transpired at St. Maries. Rest assured, the commander in question will be disciplined. That said, it is the position of the French Monarchy that we have never agreed to anything involving free trade.

Even though it was the fault of the French Monarchy in our lack of a reply to the Republic of Italy's diplomatic envoy, the actions of the Republic of Italy were highly presumptuous. The Republic of Italy had no right to assume that the Kingdom of France would consent to granting the vessels of the Republic of Italy access to our Columbian ports.

That being said, the Kingdom of France does grant the Republic of Italy permission to dock at our Columbian ports.

To: Kingdom of France
From: Most Serene Republic of Italy

We expressed our interest in Columbian expansion early in the ear 1503 when we requested a Catholic League in the new world. However, we are glad that this misunderstanding has been cleared up and is firmly behind our two nations. Although we see how our presumption may have been a tad imposing, we felt that it would not be much to ask.

We thank you for allowing our ships permission to use your ports.
 
0144.jpg

September, 1505

"There it is, sir" said Guisseppe, tugging on his now long, scraggly beard. He hadn’t shaved in weeks, despite the mind numbingly ample amount of free time one receives on a trans-Atlantic voyage. But presently, he wasn’t worried about his beard. He was watching the countless fleur-de-lie banners waving against the Columbian sun. They had at last reached Ste. Marie, after months at sea, where they would finally re-supply before heading south again. The men would be glad to finally dock, the crew were uneasy after so long at sea and tempers were beginning to fester.

"Are you sure, Guisseppe? My eyes are not as good as they used to be, I can not make it out." Said Niccolo excitedly.

"There, on the left" Guisseppe lead the man’s view to the collection of distant structures and smoke with his index finger. Here, from the deck of the ship, the distant colony on this far off the edge of the world looked as an unimportant miniature. Niccolo’s slight mouth curved into a giddish sneer as he finally recognized the site.

"Good, good! We will dock and be on our way by tomorrow." He rested a thin hand on Guisseppe’s shoulder. "I’ll be uh… below deck. Ready an envoy to meet with the French and have someone fetch me when you have spoken with their representative."

"Yes, sir" said Guisseppe, barely able to get the words out before Niccolo had disappeared from view. He again squinted into his new telescope at the far off French settlement. Something wasn’t sitting well this day, Guisseppe decided as he collapsed the telescope and dropped it into his front pocket.

***

"That’s not what you want to see" Oratzio said, folding his mighty arms across his barrel-like chest and straightening his officer’s hat.

"Christ almighty…" mumbled Guisseppe in agreement. He rubbed his calloused fingers against his temples in a clockwise motion, as his brother had always suggested he do when his emotions threatened to get the better of him. "What do you think?" he said at last to his crewmate.

"Well, someone should probably go get the captain, he might want to have a look." Oratzio was referring, of course, to the collection of French soldiers that had begun to gather in formation along the docks of Ste. Marie. As soon as the Italian ships had got close to the port, the French had deployed a garrison of soldiers, much to the amusement of the crew, who shuffled to the rails to watch the blue-uniformed men array along the wharf.

"Maybe they’re a welcoming committee?" Guisseppe offered weakly.

"That fellow doesn’t look very welcoming." Oratzio pointed the frantic figure of a young-ish looking French officer who was currently stomping around his men, barking in a refined Parisian dialect. He reminded Guisseppe of a particularly angry duck.

This was not good. Guisseppe did not know if things could turn out favorable if there were any type of altercation. The men were already on edge, this new turn of events could only make things worse.

"Should I go get Niccolo?" said Oratzio, not taking his eyes of the French officer.

"Not yet" said Guisseppe, raising his right hand with a smile. "I haven’t spoken with their representative yet."

It took a few more minutes before the Figlio di Maria, the flagship of the expeditionary fleet, to reach the dock while the rest of the ships stayed back. They weren’t taking any chances at this new show of hostility. As the flagship lined up along the wharf the men began to jeer at the French. Soon a ramp was lowered and Guisseppe, Oratzio and a contingent of soldiers descended. As they moved, the squawking French officer and a selection of his troops marched in to intercept them. The officer puffed his chest out and rested his gloved hand upon the pommel of his sword.

"Halt!" the young, thinly mustached man said in broken Italian. "You are not permitted the right to dock. Remove your ships from our harbour immediately and there will be no need for any show of force."


Oratzio gave Guisseppe an amused look. "I am Guisseppe Pazzini, chief navigator aboard the Figlio di Maria of the Most Serene Italian Republic. On behalf of Captain Niccolo Patrucci, I humbly request permission to briefly dock for much needed supplies."

The Frenchman scoffed.

"You do not have permission to dock! Do. Not. Have. Permission. Comprendere?" The man’s eyes bulged and spit flew from his yellow teeth as he squawked.

"Surely you can permit a few of our ships to at least make some hasty repairs? We are in dire need in some cases."

"Am I speaking to a child? Are all Italians so thick headed?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Guisseppe saw Oratzio reach for his blade but Guisseppe reached out to steady his friend before he could draw the sword. "Perhaps, you should speak with my captain, oui?"

***

"What in the name of the Christ is Naoned!?" screamed Niccolo as he flung his hands above his head at the French officer.

"Is it as I said, the Treaty of Naoned excludes Italy from dealings in Columbia. Now take your ships and go home!"

"You bastard, we wont get half way back to the Azores without resuplying, now get the hell out of my way!"

"I can not do that. Three of our ships will be returning from routines soon and they shall be forced to engage your fleet should you persist in your illegal action!"

"Take your ships and shove them up your weak ass, Frenchman!" said Niccolo. Guisseppe grabbed his captain by the man’s scuff and yanked him aside, close enough to confirm that the smell on Niccolo’s breath was indeed wine.

"Sir, calm down."

Niccolo pushed Guisseppe away, nearly sending him over the side of the ramp and into the harbour. "After we fought alongside them in the Holy War, they cast us into the blue!" He staggered. "A pox upon France and all her runts!" he yelled over the heads of his soldiers.

"So what are we going to do?" Asked Oratzio. Niccolo took a few steps back, turned away from the French and put his hands on his hips. After a deep sigh, he looked first to his left, then his right before turning back to Guisseppe and Oratzio.

What happened next remained somewhat indiscernable to Guisseppe until the day he died, he would never be sure if it was Niccolo who drew his blade first or the French officer. Or if one of the men had fired an arquebus from the side of the ship, or if the crack had come from French soldiers on the wharf, but he did know that whatever caused the confrontation resulted in a desperate skirmish.

Guisseppe barely managed to duck the first man’s attack amid the congested ramp but he succeeded in driving his own sword into the Frenchman’s side and pushing him over into the water, screaming as he fell. He kicked out violently, sending two more men backwards into the mass of soldiers rushing up the ramp, knocking them down like boulders in an avalanche. Niccolo had slain the officer, his fine Neapolitan blade was covered in the man’s blood and the captain swore profusely as he hacked at the French soldiers. From the deck of the Figlio di Maria the men cheered like wild dogs, swarming toward the ramp as the French pushed their way up to the ship. Guisseppe and the men were caught in the middle.

"This is insane!" he yelled to Oratzio as it became nearly impossible to fight on fragile, blood soaked ramp. The crush of bodies pressed the combatants nearly chest to chest. "We have to get back on deck." Oratzio turned to bark at his men, ignoring Niccolo’s shril battlecries.

"Retreat! Back up the-" The sergeant’s words were cut short as French steel cleaved his skull asunder, sending chunks of brain and bone across Guisseppe’s face and into his scraggly beard. He fought back the urge to vomit. Oratzio’s body twitched and swayed before collapsing into a heap of mangled flesh.

Guisseppe slashed frantically with his sword, desperately trying to keep the French at bay as he physically pushed his own men back up the ramp. "Get back, get the hell back, you fools!" On his right, Niccolo squirmed his way through the mass of men like a snake, weaving in and out of them towards the safety of the deck. Behind him, the French cut the Italians down. Guisseppe’s feet became unsteady on the gore-covered wood.

Slowly but surely, they were advancing back towards the ship.

In one, final push the Italians fell back on the deck, but the French soldiers were at their heels slashing and cutting as they came.

"Fire!"

A formation of soldiers let a volley of inacurate but deadly arquebus shots at the first French attempting to climb to the deck, they’re bodies fell apart in the wake of the gunpowder’s force, giving Guisseppe precious time to think.

"Send the ramp over the side!"

The Italians hurried and to frantically kick and budge the thick ramp into the water, to the horror of the French soldiers who protested and desperately tried to steady themselves as the Italians finally managed to hurl the thing into the waves. The French fell and were pulled into the deeps by the weight of their armour which they clawed at in an attempt to remove.

Niccolo, covered still in French gore, was laughing like a child.

The crew cheered and swore at the French as the Figlio di Maria pulled away from Ste. Marie. They wouldn’t be laughing come dark, thought Guisseppe as he collapsed onto the deck, panting and rubbing the blood from his eyes as the shores of the French colony shrank behind him.
 
I took a little artistic liberty to make the Ste Marie incident interesting, sue me. It isn[t too hard to imagine a couple hot headed aristocrats trading blows over the affair.
 
To Netherlands, Kalmar
From Ireland


When the Germans took England from our Celtic ancestors, was it not enough to satisfy your desires? You now follow our brothers to the New World, and we will not allow the past to repeat itself. The treaty of Naoned clearly defined the areas of both the Beothuks and the Dutch colonies as in the Celtic sphere, and has been violated.

However, we recognize that delays in communications can often complicate the process of negotiation. As such, so as to avoid war, we would wish to speak and see if we cannot come to some sort of agreement for the evacuation or transfer of colonies in the new world to Celtic control. We cannot allow this misunderstanding to be exploited by our enemies and plunge the civilized world into dispute just as it realizes its mission of spreading the word of God to the heathens.

Treaties apply to those who sign them bog-dweller, your unannounced bit of paper does not hold our oath.

OoC: Damn moronic colonising powers, I mean really your just dumping down forts all out of whats valuble nowadays, rather than what was valuble and feasible then. The Missisippi delta was useless swamp until the explorers out of New France mapped the up reaches of the basin and found tribes and items to trade with and for, and then headed downstream.
 
From: Henry IV the Pious Wettin, The Estates-General
To: The Kingdom of England:


We trust that you did not mean to offend the Catholic members of this Kingdom. We have no interest in an entangling alliance we do not feel we are under threat.

OOC: Seriously, read my stats, look at my edict/story.

From: Henry IV the Pious Wettin, The Estates-General
To: Kingdom of Ireland


Communication is ever the bane of Kings, we acted in innocence, we shall entertain the notion of negotiations. We should also note we are already allied... on the continent, but do not seek to expand this network.
 
To: Celtic Bloc, France, Portugal, Kalmar Union, United Netherlands
From: Most Serene Republic of Italy

It has become clear to the world that the Treaty of Naoned has been successful only in raising the possibility of a new and disastrous European war. We feel that if peace is to survive, the treaty must be redrawn to include the Kalmar Union, Spain, the Netherlands and Italy lest we fear this divisiveness can only result in war in the New World and perhaps here on the continent.
 
OOC: Very good update Israelite, but I am sad that you ignored my orders, even when the whole thing was a mistake. I did at least expect to read about the Brunei this turn. :p
 
OOC: @Israelite: I'm guessing since he took Dehli, I can take England...

To the Kingdom of Spain:
From The Kingdom of England:


In these troubled times, it does not matter whether we are catholic or Protestant. The treaty of Naoned is indeed troubling. In times like these, although our interests may have conflicted in the past, the English believe it is necessary to establish a good friendship and perhaps an alliance with you. What say you to this proposition?

An answer would be appreciated

To Italy:
From The Kingdom of England:

As you can see, the French are ungrateful to all the help you have given them and have refused your battered and tired merchants refuge. All your merchants had to do was come to our colony, and they would have had a free resupplying. I believe that there is much to gain for both of us if we initiate a defensive alliance, perhaps, and almost certainly a trade and colonial protectionist pact.There is much to gain, and his majesty sincerely looks forward to working well with the delightful Italians in the near future.

An answer would be appreciated.
 
OOC: Why did you automatically protect a no-longer tributary state?
Though no longer a tributary state of Ayutthaya, Lan Xang continues to face strong pressure from its neighbour to the southwest. Yet, it continues to grow in strength as the nation urbanises and develops a more efficient economy.

??

Also, Ming told me to go for Lan Xang, Ayut is tributary state of ming, so Ayut is going against Ming interests... me taking Lan Xang (gota find that diplo!)

Finally: Great Update (I forgot to say.)
 
OoC: Damn moronic colonising powers, I mean really your just dumping down forts all out of whats valuble nowadays, rather than what was valuble and feasible then. The Missisippi delta was useless swamp until the explorers out of New France mapped the up reaches of the basin and found tribes and items to trade with and for, and then headed downstream.

OOC: I just want to state that the fort was ALREADY THERE by the beginning of the NES. Not my fault, so politely go away ;)
 
The First Retreat
Journal Entry by General Trih Yi

"March into the Hills," said he, "Push away resistance and turn south."

What nonsense.

The Hills! The Hills! What an understatement! High grades of climb! Up and down and up and down! Barren land! Burned by the retreating army who refused to fight like men! Who climb up in trees and shower arrows as we burn them down! March into the hills and push away resistance indeed!

The Lan Xang peasents has massed at Fendu Valley. As we marched past they pretended to retreat, but I should have left a rear guard as they counter attacked our supplies.

Our Supplies. Ai, water, food, equipment. All the steel needed to bring down the walls of their capital. Ai, burned into bits. They retreated north again and we have no choice to follow them.

The next they they launched a large attack on our base. Wave after wave of holloring levies rushing up the walls with knives on their hands and feet. Frightened our own fled into the woods, met by their skilled rangers. In the unreal battle we were routed but our force, trained by Hu Le, nephew of Tranh Le, stayed together in the jungle for weeks before we blocked the passes and retreated.

I heard to the south the Seige force was pushed back for the lack of our supplies we were bringing. Pity.

I owe them respect no longer.

1505- A Record of the invasion.
 
The Defender

0144.jpg

September, 1505

It was one of the most beautiful mornings he had ever seen since he had been assigned to France’s premier outpost in Columbia, the beautiful Ste. Marie. Dressing in his bedchamber, he noticed that the gulls had decided to bless his humble settlement with their presence. “Excellent, we will have gulls to roast tonight” de Rochefort thought to himself.

He promptly summoned his servants and had them prepare for himself and his household a lovely breakfast. At least, it would be the finest breakfast possible on this side of the Atlantic Ocean considering the climate and weather. They would try the exotic foods brought to them for trade by the local and lovely indigenous peoples. After all, the weather had finally calmed down after months of torrential storms.

Beginning breakfast, he stated not without a sigh of content, “Nothing could possibly ruin this day.” He regretted it the instant he said it. God is prone to whimsy, damn what the Bishops said. Yet he had no cause for regret and the comment went sailing out of his mind. Ah, what beautiful sails were in the horizon; sleek and white sails.

“White sails?!?!”

He ignored the stares of his servants and household, he could tell them what the sails meant later. They could only mean one thing. He was being transferred! “Finally, thank God for powerful families” he muttered to nobody in particular.

“You! Inform the garrison commander of the necessity of sending a detachment of our finest soldiers to form a honor guard for the new Governor of Ste. Marie!” He shouted as loud as he could, did not even bother to hide his glee in the face of his servant. He was leaving.

***********

It was always a terrible thing to be wrong; he knew that the Governor de Rochefort would not be happy. A young noble of Bearn, Treville had exhausted what meager connections he had possessed to be assigned this military command. The Military Commander of French Columbia had a grandiose title, but it was not much in practice. He already regretted the words he had told his soldiers earlier:

“The new French governor of Ste. Marie will be here shortly. Wine to every soldier who participates in an honor guard for our Excellency The Governor!” he had stated with excitement.

That excitement had turned to horror when he realized half the garrison had turned up, abandoning their duties elsewhere, to participate in this splendid honor guard. If it had been a new Governor, perhaps it would have been a good thing. But no, they were Italians. Italian vessels armed to the teeth with terrible looking men onboard. Ripped shirts, one-eyes, swords and daggers in their mouths, the Italians were infamous for being the scoundrels of Europe.

His father had always told him stories of the atrocities committed by the Italians in the German Wars of Religion. Entire villages scorched to the ground for simply annoying the Italians. They were a fussy and most effeminate people in manner, and the most gruesome in action. The sailors onboard the Italian ships now seemed to be… leering at his soldiers.

“Sir, your father served with honor in the German Wars of Religion. Do the Italians possess the sin of sodomy alongside greed and gluttony?” asked a young soldier standing next to him. That did not go well. The ships were ever approaching more closely and he could sense his men physically and mentally stiffening up. Fussy, gruesome, effeminate and now sodomists; oh those Italians!

As their ships pulled up, he decided to reassure his men. “Soldiers! We are all sons of Bearn. Garner your courage men, we are Frenchmen!” He regretted those words the moment they left. How could he betray the beloved Navarre of his sires? But perhaps it was for the better now. A ramp fell on the dock and a rather coarse fellow descended, with perhaps a gang from hell. He had seen many terrible looking lowlife, but these Italians were beyond horror.

Yet he was the commander and he must take charge. Taking a number of his soldiers, he led them to meet and confer with the representatives of the Italians. He had learned some Italian, at least, the Italian that existed for Spanish sailors as they waged the art of seduction in faraway ports.

“Signors,” he began slowly, unsure of his speech, “I must say I am deeply distressed when I inform you that your ships are not allowed to dock.”

He would have continued, but he stopped after the lead Italian threw his subordinate a half mocking look. The utter lack of respect! Yet he hid his dislike for the Italian behind a wide smile, it was the proper thing to do.

“Well Signor, I am Guisseppe Pazzini, chief navigator aboard the Figlio di Maria of the Most Serene Italian Republic. On behalf of my Captain, Niccolo Patrucci, I humbly request permission to dock our ships in St. Marie’s for much needed supplies” said the Italian, with a flourish that he had not even seen in Paris. His words were in complete opposition with his mocking and satirizing tone.

He scoffed at them.

“As I have said before Signors, you do not have permission to dock in Ste. Marie’s. However, if you would be so kind as to have your ships anchor outside of the harbor, we would not be against allowing your quartermasters onshore to make the necessary purchases.” It was distressing after all, to have foreign warships in your harbor, completely within cannon range of the entire settlement. It was an uneasy moment.

“But surely France will permit us in making some repairs for our ships? They are in urgent need, we have weathered many storms.”

Again, Italians and their merchant tricks! He had switched his position from simply needing supplies, to needing to stay in Ste. Marie for repairs! He was a Basque yes, but he was not an idiot. The Italians, in their shifty demands, were surely out to seize Ste. Marie for their own!

“Signor, I repeat this again. Your ships are not allowed to dock within the vicinity of Ste. Marie. Do not take us to be fools.” That being said, the subordinate of the Italian went for the pommel of his sword but was stopped with an amused look by the other Italian.

“I will politely ask our captain to discuss with you on the matter” said the Italian with a wicked smile.

***********

“Captain Niccolo, as I have said before, the Treaty of Naoned does not necessarily exclude the Most Serene Republic of Italy docking rights to Columbia. The Treaty is not as consequential as the lack of any treaty between the Kingdom of France and the Most Serene Republic of Italy involving opening French ports in Columbia to Italian ships. My uncle is a clerk for the Comte de Rethel, the Foreign Minister of France” he said as politely as he could to the Italian Captain, a man who was obviously lost in his cups.

Most likely from carousing through the night with his men, he was an Italian after all. But he was not prepared for the umbrage from the Captain.

“What in the name of Christ is Naoned?!?!” screamed the Italian Captain with Treville almost raising his arms to defend himself as the Italian Captain flung his arms above Treville’s head.

“Captain, the Treaty of Naoned is of little consequence to your docking rights. Your ships are not allowed to dock at Ste. Marie’s. You can either take my offer of anchoring outside the harbor, or you can doom your men to death. You choose” Treville said with a hint of aggravation. The Italian Captain Niccolo was an infuriating man.

"You bastard, we wont get half way back to the Azores without resupplying, now get the hell out of my way!" shouted the Italian Captain. He let his emotions take control of him.

“Captain! Our fleet will be returning very shortly. If you choose to persist in your acts of aggression, our fleet will have no choice but to consider the beginning of hostilities against The Most Serene Republic of Italy.” He glared at the Italian, the presumptuous attitude of theirs was annoying. They ruled the Western Mediterranean and now they wished to rule the waters of Columbia.

"Take your ships and shove them up your weak ass, Frenchman!" screamed the Italian Captain. As he thought, the man was of peasant stock. No gentleman of honor or dignity would scream like that. At that, the Captain’s subordinate pulled at his Captain as if to encourage him in his insane endeavors, whispering a few words into the Captain’s ears. The advice taken, the Italian Niccolo threw his subordinate aside before screaming:

"After we fought alongside them in the Holy War, they cast us into the blue! A pox upon France and all her runts!"

That was it.

“That is not the conduct becoming to a gentleman, Captain. Italian actions in the Holy War were a disgrace, a disgusting façade of true virtue and honor. Italian soldiers were the shame of all true Catholic soldiers” Treville said blatantly to the Italian. He turned his back to the Italian and walked towards his detachment of men.

Everything after was a blur of powder, blood and screams. He was tackled down by his lieutenant just as the distinct boom of the arquebus went off. All hell broke loose. His men charged in unison, swords drawn to defend (or they thought) the body of their fallen commander. When he was again standing, he saw that his trusted subordinate had been slashed and kicked in to the harbor. He would survive; the man was the finest swimmer he had ever met.

Turning his attention away from the small melee going on, he quickly sent a messenger to the Governor as well as summoning the cannons to prepare to fire upon the Italian ships. When he looked again, he saw a huge mob of Italians fighting against a few of his more heroic French soldiers as they tried hopelessly to stem the incessant tide.

“Fall back! Fall back!” he shouted in vain at the few French soldiers still engaged in the melee, but it was impossible. With reluctance, he ordered a volley against the Italian mob at point blank range.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

Like drunkards, the Italians front collapsed. Miraculously, the Frenchmen fighting were spared the bullets and continued to slash at their enemies mindlessly and were preparing to rush onto the decks, the poor fools. He ordered his men to halt on the dock and simply waited for the Italians to leave as his cannons were being prepared.

The Italians fled. In their haste to get away, they fired at their own men when they were desperately trying to scramble onto the decks of their own ships.

May God save the Italians from themselves…
 
Moses, Jesus, and Muhammed, what's it with you guys and bloody stories? :confused:
 
Moses, Jesus, and Muhammed, what's it with you guys and bloody stories? :confused:

OOC: I was giving the correct French version of the event at Ste. Marie. I am sure that the Italian escapade to OTL Bermuda and their sighting of a Saint has surely clouded their vision of what really happened ;)
 
Story War! That would be awesome!

OOC: Stories should be written out of pleasure/amusement, not because you're waging a story war. Stories in story wars are usually... of very low quality. *remembers ITNES where dachs and sheep had a story war"
 
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