Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

Now the finale! Fire laser into the Antimass spectrometer to destabilize it and cause resonance cascade.
 
Double A said:
I pour gas on his (still flaming) head.
5: He runs away, leaving you surrounded by flammable liquid. Mafia marksmen then take shots at you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9: Bullets whizz around you, and shrapnel cuts away 8 hitpoints.

mythmonster2 said:
I chat it up with one of the sexy nurses.
13: You discuss the economic situation of Ecuador.

!!!!! said:
i show my class how to heal by healing myself
13 (16): You restore 15 hitpoints.

choxorn said:
We aid the destruction of kill fire, by firing guns to kill kill fire.
17 (18): You launch some very-long-range homing missiles to deal 22 damage.

Abaddon said:
I ponder the deeper questions in life.
15: You realize there is a Way To Win The Game Without Killing Everyone.

Seon said:
Now the finale! Fire laser into the Antimass spectrometer to destabilize it and cause resonance cascade.
15 (19): "IT'S- IT'S NOT SHUTTING DOWN! OH GOD!!"
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: As creatures from Beyond the Fringe telaportal into this world, you get sucked into Xen.

Captain Oilherb takes another shot at landlubber.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7: The shot grazes his arm for 10 damage.

choxorn, Double A and mythmonster2 are aiming for a three-way tie!
 
I get closer to kill fire, and fire some very-long-range-but-not-quite-as-long-range-as-the-other-missiles homing missiles at him.
 
I tweak with some equipments back on Xen homeland, teleporting me and every single monstrosity of Xen back to Earth to haunt every single player.
 
Does anyone want an alliance?

Action: practice defencive Martial Arts
 
Abaddon, i want an alliance
i kill woodland man with my back hoe and take all of his stuff and use his dead body as a test subject
 
Agreed! :)
 
I charge after Double A with my apes, chimps, rhino, and me, the one-armed savage native bandit. Haha, that should scare him!
 
choxorn said:
I get closer to kill fire, and fire some very-long-range-but-not-quite-as-long-range-as-the-other-missiles homing missiles at him.
2 (3): You fly into a mountain.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (5): It's a light impact, but jarring enough to scrape off 14 hitpoints.

Seon said:
I tweak with some equipments back on Xen homeland, teleporting me and every single monstrosity of Xen back to Earth to haunt every single player.
12: You construct a rudimentary portal device.

Double A said:
I kill fire.
13: You stamp the fire out.

mythmonster2 said:
I decide to philosophise about the world we live in.
19: You realize the secret to World Peace.

Abaddon said:
Action: practice defencive Martial Arts
8: You break a nail.

!!!!! said:
i kill woodland man with my back hoe and take all of his stuff and use his dead body as a test subject
10: He has vanished from sight.

civplayah said:
I charge after Double A with my apes, chimps, rhino, and me, the one-armed savage native bandit. Haha, that should scare him!
8: There's an ocean between the two of you.

landlubber said:
I find a way to win.
16: You get a sneaking suspicion Captain Oilherb may have something that can help. But right now he isn't willing to share.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3: His cutlass deals a nasty 16 damage.

Abaddon and !!!!! have formed a pact! Check each other's sixes.

CivGeneral and Friends are starting to run out of air! -8 hitpoints.

merciary, TheBladeRoden, Anonymoose, remake20, and woodland man suffer 15 damage for inactivity.
 
I get high enough to not crash into a mountain, move closer to kill fire, and fire the very-long-range-but-not-quite-as-long-range-as-the-other-missiles homing missiles at kill fire.
 
I teleport back to earth, making sure to destabilize a few universe in the process.
 
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