1575- Genghis Khan declares on Louis and apparently bribes Tokugawa to join him even though Toku is 9 turns from Astronomy. I join in another fake war for the diplo. Poor Louis.
1660- Genghis takes Paris. He's way more powerful than Louis, and I expect a capitulation any turn now. Meanwhile, of course, I'm proceeding unmolested toward a culture win, so it's all kind of pointless.
Here's the important part: Toku at +20.
So can I trade you something for one of those four spices?
Of course not. And he's not giving up that world map, either. He must have found something really secret
1708- This is overkill, but I'll take it.
1718- Genghis makes peace with Louis with no capitulation. Weird.
1748- Tokugawa offers a Defensive Pact.
Hell yes. Barring a diplomatic fallout with Toku (which would take real talent at this point), about the only thing that could conceivably spoil my win would be a massive invasion by Genghis, and I just made that way more unlikely.
1755- Notice anything strange about this screenshot?
That's right, Tokugawa likes everybody.
Around this time I'm at that point in the culture game where you have to decide when to shut everything down and sprint to the finish. I decide to go ahead and tech to sushi because Biology is going to be quite helpful for my three artist farms, and I have a Great Merchant lying around that I got from Economics.
1802- I finish researching Medicine on the same turn that Shanghai completes the Statue of Liberty. Now it's definitely time to shut things down.
Hey, best friend, can you spare some fish?
Boy, it's a good thing my feelings don't get hurt easily. *sniff*
1832- Genghis declares on Louis, Toku joins in, and I start my fourth fake war just for the heck of it. It's all irrelevant at this point.
1846- Louis capitulates to Genghis. Interestingly, Bismarck sent quite an invasion force down there and managed to take a city before this happened.
1852- Beijing reaches Legendary culture first, and on the same turn a GA pops in Lisbon, which I use to get it to Legendary. Just three more turns for Shanghai.
1855- And there it is.
I'm sure a better player could have won it much earlier with these conditions, but I think I did okay for a guy with virtually no experience in culture victories. They're definitely not the highest-scoring way to win:
But a win is a win, and a culture victory definitely calls for a celebratory song:
东方红,太阳升,
中国出了个毛泽东。
他为人民谋幸福,
呼尔嗨哟,他是人民大救星!
毛主席,爱人民,
他是我们的带路人,
为了建设新中国,
呼尔嗨哟,领导我们向前进!
共产党,像太阳,
照到哪里哪里亮。
哪里有了共产党,
呼尔嗨哟,哪里人民得解放!
(Props to anyone who recognizes this.)