ZPNES: for great justice

ZPNES
Welcome to Zero – Point NES (as in pointless)

OK this post is 1% NES and 99% spam (but hey there’s a map!)

The Idea: It is Earth, 4000BC, in a very strange alternate dimension. A very insane, hopefully fun, very very low budget NES/spam thread (something silly for over Christmas?) Orders in the thread itself etc... I plan to update randomly and often, with some random graphics to illustrate things

Rules: none
All players have godlike powers, including causing huge disasters, and altering the plate tectonics of the world and moving continents. *Insane orders will be rewarded*

Nations:
Some ideas of mine which will be NPC if unclaimed… No limits on new custom nations, can be anything

The Cetacean Combine (dark purple / atlantic)
The Whales and Dolphins have had enough of annoying humans. They form their own underwater empire with the help of captured Atlantean technology



Techs: Advanced Swimming, Advanced Plankton Eating, Advanced Fish Eating, Advanced Sonar, Advanced Diving, Atlantean Weaponry
Infrastructure: 1000 Atlantean underwater fortresses
Morale = 100%
Effort used = 70%
Forces = 95 %
Assorted whales and dolphins
Atlantean combat aero-subs
Atlantean aqua-robo-suits (enabling a dolphin/whale occupant to fight on land or on the seabed)
50 Atlantean submersible fusion battleships

The Goody-Hut Co-Prosperity Sphere [GHCPS] (dark green/ central Europe)
(toteone)



Wanting to be left alone, the goody huts have united in defence from plundering 'civilised' people.

Techs: Scrolls of ancient wisdom, Advanced Grass Eating, Advanced Grass Digestion
Infrastructure: Giant Cherry received as gift from the Japanese-Vallhalla-Animntra Mutual Prosperity Sphere.
Morale = 125%
Effort used = 50%
Forces = 110 %
friendly skilled warriors
disturbed angry warriors
Cowtaur Warriors

The Highland Cow Alliance (green/blue / scotland/norway)



Highland cows have achieved sentience and high technology. The various highland cow kingdoms have now united into a single empire.

Techs: Advanced Psi Powers, Advanced Grass Eating, Advanced Grass Digestion
Infrastructure: 100 Underground weapons factories
Morale = 125%
Effort used = 60%
Forces = 95%
Highland Cow Warriors
100 Heavy Fusion Tanks
100 Fusion Anti-Gravity Gunships
1 Mutant Giant Cow (very big)

The Golden Axe Kingdom of Death Adder (red, central Europe)



A rapidly expanding militarist kingdom, armed with magic weapons

Leader: Death Adder
Techs: Construction, Feudalism, Evil Magic, Dragon Riding
Infrastructure: 1 Castle, 1 giant transport eagle, 1 giant transport turtle
Morale = 115%
Effort used = 75%
Forces = 90%
assorted evil soldiers
tamed dragons
300 huge big hammer guys
100 armoured huge big sword guys
2 immortal skeletons (completely immortal as long as death adder lives)
1 Death Adder

Super-Duper Hamster Empire (Pink, Madagascar)
(MjM)



The godlike 20ft-tall super-rodents have come to claim another dimensional plane for their empire (which already extends far throughout the universe, including trans-dimensional realms which the puny humans cannot begin to understand). When they landed, they created a HUGE Crater in Madagascar.

Techs: Trans-Dimensional Consciousness, Hyper-Dimensional Mega-Fluxing, Death Ray, Advanced Cuteness
Infrastructure/Army:One Motherskip, able to transport more ships and infinite things at the Hamsters desposal.
Morale = 105%
Effort used = 100%
Forces = 200%
Ascended Space Hamster Warriors
Hamster Lazer Gunner warriors
Hamster Giga Super Duper Nuper Nukes
Fighter Hamster Planes
Hamster Intergalactic Flagships
Hamster Super Extreme Uber Duper Tanks
100 Nuke Launchers
100 Elite Ascended Space Hamster Warriors
50 Trans-Dimensional Attack Craft
1 Trans-Dimensional Mothership
+ 10 Ultima Bombs (7 used up)

Map:


Ok that’s it feel free to claim a nation or make a new one / send orders etc

Other nations:

The Peoples Republic of the Sea Otters (dark blue/British Columbia)
North King



It has taken much time and more for Sea Otter infiltration of this dimension, but it has finally occured. Originating in the stNNES set of dimensions, they have grown and consumed, and recently been involved in various wars, primarily against the Penguins and their vassal states. Some trouble with the Alexandrine Pandas has cropped up from time to time, and some with the Polar Bears, but nothing serious. So here they are, in a new dimension, teleporting through the various portals into this new one, and founding another base of the great Otter Empire.

Techs: Advanced Swimming, Advanced Fish Eating, Advanced Sonar, Advanced Diving, Advanced Laser Weaponry, Cloud Solidification
Infrastructure: 450 heavily fortified coastal bases
Morale = 100%
Effort used = 70%
Forces = 95 %
otters
laser armed elephants
Leviathan class amphibious crusiers
99 piloted hurricanes

Democractic Socialist Republican Green Party NeoTree hugger Federation of the Walrus Empire and the respective lands of the Artic and Alaska and protector of the Eskimos and the glaciers [DSRGPNTHFWERLAAPEG for short] (grey/blue, alaska/canada/western greenland/eastern siberia)
(conehead234)

Techs: Nuclear Tusks, Titanium Tusks, Superblubber, Siesmic slam, advanced nuclear chemistry ion cannons
Infrastructure: alot of ice and snow, 900 forified ice fortresses, Fortress of Solitude
Morale = 125%
Effort used = 90%
Forces = 90 %
Walruses
Ice sheets of doom
Blizzard class battleships
caribou riders
12 large cheese pizzas
1 enslaved superman (got him from the fortress of solitude)

Empire of Penguinska (red, antarctic peninsular)
(Lord Iggy)

The penguins are ceaseless inventors, innovators, and tinkerers. Taking advantage of massive oil and mineral reserves deep under the ice, they have build massive mobile constructs, for all sorts of purposes.

Techs: rocketry, mobile factories, yeti domestication, black hole generation
Infrastructure: 100 Heavy Industrial Factories, 1000 Motlen hot needle defence towers, 1 black hole waste dump
Morale = 100%
Effort used = 60%
Forces = 145 %
Armoured Penguin Infantry (APIs)
TurboMegaTanks (TMTs)
Penguin Attack Walkers (PAWs)
Tamed Yetis
1 Ice Titan (the new 1200 metre long flagship)

The World Jewish Conspiracy(light blue/ various pockets of control in Chicago, New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Sydney, London, and Berlin)
(Israelite9191)

Techs: Accounting, Banking, Dentistry, Advanced Paranoia, Movie Making, the Judenpress, the U.N.
Infastructure: 2,000,000 Economic Institutions, 1,000 Judenpress Mass Media Outlets, 1,000 Synagogues
Morale = 120%
Effort used = 60%
Forces = 120 %
Bankers and Accountants
Judenpress Affiliates
Rabbis
Nosey Politicians

The United States of Devious Snakes(green, the USA/East Coast)
(Cleric)



Long ago when corrupt humans ruled the earth,the snakes suffered and so did the people.Then came the great champion,saviour,called by some Saladin but the code name he is most known for is Big Boss...He crushed the corrupt humans/machines/new age hippies and ushered in a new era of prosperity,in a land he renamed Outer Heaven.Now snakes and small percentage of humans live in this great land.With Big Boss in charge and his first officer a crazy cyborg ninja called Gray Fox...what could go wrong?

Techs:Human weapons and tech(includingt the Cardboard box of DOOM[see sig]),Advanced Deviousness,Advaced Strangling,Advanced swallowing,Amphibiousness,Advanced Sneaking,Advanced Sensors,Advanced Awesomeness
Morale = 110%
Effort used = 70%
Forces = 95 %
snakes
captured+reprogrammed killbots
Human commandos
90 Metal Gear RAYs
95 Metal Gear REXs
1 Big Boss(see avatar)
1 Crazy Cyborg Ninja

The True Alexandrine Panda Empire of the Splendid and Grand Orient. (Orangy Yellow / China around Shanghai)
(Alex994)

Beginning in the fabled ITNES where they woke from their hundred thousand year cold sleep, they have destroyed the balance of power aligning with the Penguins against the evil of the "God-Hating "Polar Bears and Sea Otters. They have sworn to destroy the evils of "Communism" throughout the dimensions and are proceeding to do so under the New Leadership of Grand Imperator Xion-Tui.

Infrastructure: 1500 Panda Nurturing homes, all the tech needed for an uber imperialistic state.

Tech: Advanced Chewing, Titanium Claws, Diamond like fur, Anti-matter weaponry, Advanced Laser Weaponry, Advanced Shield point defense, Advanced Human Genetics Engineering
Captured ‘half a peach’ from the Japanese.
Morale = 125%
Effort used = 80%
Forces = 95%
Imperial Panda Comiterns
Imperial Panda Stormtroopers
AT-ATs
AT-STs
X-wings
Y-wings
B-wings
100 Victory Class Star Destroyers
20 Imperial Star Destroyers
2 Super Star Destroyer

The Japanese-Vallhalla-Animntra Mutual Prosperity Sphere. (Purple, Japan)
(TerrisH)
A Strang Colition of a bunch of Goddesse, some Exiled MAgical Girls, and Tokyo that Survived a Nuclar War, these three groups have banded to gether for survivial and have settled down here to live happly ever after. unfrotuantly, they forgot to cheack the naiborhood first.

Techs: 133t computer hacking, Yaggirsal Operating System, Anchint Mecha, Automotive Technolagy, Magic Girls.
Infrastructure: Tokyo Tower, Various Highs school, Mini-Yaggrisial,
Morale = 120%
Effort used = 80%
Forces = 80%
JSDF members
angry Norse Warriors
Helecopters
Modern Tanks
MECHA!
174 Magical Girls
52 Magical Mascots
22 Goddess
1 Kami-sama in Training


Globex Corporation (grey, east usa near chicago)
(Disenfrancised)

Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!



Leader: Hank Scorpio, call me Hank.
Techs: Advanced hammocks, Advanced Brewing, Nuclear Fission, Monument destroying lazers, Customer Service
Infrastructure: 1000 Globex franchise volcano layers
Morale = 100%
Effort used = 0%
Forces = 100%
assorted minions, employees and contractors
Devestating Beautiful Henchwenches - i.e. secret agent bait.
Flame thrower troops
50 Nuclear Death Rays

Hedgehog Empire (purple, Finland)
(Andis-1)

Leader: The Bloodthirsty Hedgehog
Techs: Advanced ion cannons, stolen polar bear technology, advanced underground construction, advanced K-class lasers, superior healthcare system
Infrastructure: Gigantic underground complex (on mars)
Morale = 15%
Effort used = 100%
Forces = 125%
bloodthirsty hedgehog warriors
well trained hedgehog warriors
faster-than-light K-wing figthers (based on stolen polar bear technology)
ion cannon artillery
11 grand ion cannon (located on the orbit)

The Polarbearum (burgundy/Greenland)
(das)


Polar bear poster depicting Generalissimus Urson (the mug of beer represents the bright and happy future)

Techs: Advanced Camouflage (polar bears pretending to be carpets, humans or dumb animals), Interdimensional Gates, Advanced Alternate History, Implausible Future Weaponry, Polar Bear Beer
Infastructure: 500,000 polar bear communal houses, 400,000 polar bear breweries, 100,000 polar bear portals, 80,000 polar bear military installations, 50 fake zoos, 1 forum, 1 species, 1 generalissimus.
Morale = 150%
Effort used = 100%
Forces = 60%
polar bear divisions,
polar bear body guard squads,
polar bear ships,
polar bear flying icebergs,
polar bear tiny invisible faster-than-light helicopters,
90 polar bear history-alterers.

Le République Nationale du Pandareum [RNP] (Orange, along the Pacific coast, from Washington to Baja. Hawaii too.)
(Insane_Panda)
After adopting the true ideas of the great 'Code Napoleon'' over the vile Oriental institutions of the Alexandrine Emperors, causing a great schism in the once great Pandareaum, the Republique Nationale du Pandareum has forged its own empire accross the shores of the pacific consisting of giant Métropolitain centers - huge enclosed urban complexes extending for many kilometers into the air. The Pandareans have adopted French as their national language, and have also adopted a huge, all incompasing technocracy as their form of government. The official Capital and location of the National Assembly is located in the Metropolitain center of Noveau Paris (OTL San Francisco), but real control of the nation and its vast government is conducted within the top secret Napoleon Center, a giant mobile submersible fortress based on many of the same design principles as the Ange Profond Assault Vessels of the navy.

Ruler: Julien I. Pandeaux, Premier Consul of the Republican National Assembely.
Government: Republique Nationale (Facism)
Infrastructure:
100,000 Electromagnetic Rail Lines, 500 Republique Métropolitain Centers (Enclosed Fortress-Harbor-Cities), 1000 Fusion reactors, 1 Napoleon Control Center (underwater - top secret) etc. etc.
Tech: Advanced Chewing, Titanium Claws, Diamond like fur, Anti-matter weaponry, Advanced Laser Weaponry, Advanced Shield point defense, Advanced Electromagnetic Weaponry, Advanced Electromagnetic Propulsion, Advanced Fusion Energy, Advanced Fusion propulsion,
Morale = 100%
Effort used = 0%
Forces = 100%
Republique Defense Guards
Republique Defense Marines
Republique Defense Mechs (Metal Gear Ray's)
Republique Defense AT-TEs (All Terrain Tactical Enforcers)
Republique Defense AT-APs (All Terrain Attack Pods)
Republique Defense Fighters
Republique Defense Assault Craft
Republique Defense Mirage Aerial Cruisers
Republique Maritime Defense Destroyers
Republique Maritime Defense Cruisers
Republique Maritime Defense Battlecruisers
Republique Maritime Defense Dreadnoughts
5 Republique Maritime Defense Ange Profond (Deep Angel) Assault Vessels
50 Republique Solar Defense Destroyers
25 Republique Solar Defense Cruisers
10 Republique Solar Defense Battlecruisers
5 Republique Solar Defense Ange (Angel) Assault Dreadnoughts

Foamy Cult(brown'ish/Egypt)
(tommy_toon)

Starting out with nothing more than a small 1 minute clip, Foamy had high aims for his future. Alongside Germaine, he began to take over lives, one clip at a time. With the establishment of the Foamy Fan Club, his destiny was put into action. As his hatred for Seattle based companies was absorbed along with his diabolical plans, his fans became the followers in his cult. With his army standing strong, now is the time to lead his masses onward.

Techs: Expert Subterranean Excavation, Superior Aerial Engineering, Advanced Nut Harvesting, Advanced Explosive Development, Expert Climbing.
Infrastructure: 75,000 heavily fortified walnut and acorn trees

Morale = 100%
Effort used = 0%
Forces = 100%
grey warrior squirrels
subterranean ground squirrels
flying bomber squirrels
armored nut shells
1 Foamy

reserving this one too. actually just an excuse for boosting my post count

Haha, I loved Golden Axe!!!

The Peoples Republic of the Sea Otters (dark blue/British Columbia)
It has taken much time and more for Sea Otter infiltration of this dimension, but it has finally occured. Originating in the stNNES set of dimensions, they have grown and consumed, and recently been involved in various wars, primarily against the Penguins and their vassal states. Some trouble with the Alexandrine Pandas has cropped up from time to time, and some with the Polar Bears, but nothing serious. So here they are, in a new dimension, teleporting through the various portals into this new one, and founding another base of the great Otter Empire.
Techs: Advanced Swimming, Advanced Fish Eating, Advanced Sonar, Advanced Diving, Advanced Laser Weaponry, Cloud Solidification
Infrastructure: 500 heavily fortified coastal bases
Army:
50,000,000 otters
250,000 laser armed elephants
100 piloted hurricanes
2,000 Leviathan class amphibious crusiers

See
<-That dude<-
for a leaderhead.

Hey I reserved the Golden Axe Kingdom. Oh well I'll do it now.

Democractic Socialist Republican Green Party NeoTree hugger Federation of the Walrus Empire and the respective lands of the Artic and Alaska and protector of the Eskimos and the glaciers (DSRGPNTHFWERLAAPEG for short)
Start me in Alaska and anywhere above the artic circle.

Techs: Nuclear Tusks, Titanium Tusks, Superblubber, Siesmic slam, advanced nuclear chemistry ion cannons
Infrastructure: alot of ice and snow, 1000 forified ice fortresses, Fortress of Solitude
Army:
50,000,000 Walruses
666 Ice sheets of doom
6666 Blizzard class battleships
1200000 caribou riders
13 large cheese pizzas
1 enslaved superman (got him from the fortress of solitude)

Leaderhead to come later

Empire of Penguinska

Location: Antarctic Peninsula, just south of South America

The penguins are ceaseless inventors, innovators, and tinkerers. Taking advantage of massive oil and mineral reserves deep under the ice, they have build massive mobile constructs, for all sorts of purposes.

Their buildings are their factories, very tall and with lots of pipes that randomly blast out steam, like in a movie.


So basically, penguin construction is like the free Humans in the Matrix. Barebones and metal. They also have APU-like things, if you've seen Matrix Revolutions (bad plot, godd CG effects)

The World Jewish Conspiracy(light blue/ various pockets of control in Chicago, New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Sydney, London, Jerusalem, Tel-Aviv, and Berlin)
Techs: Accounting, Banking, Dentistry, Advanced Paranoia, Movie Making, the Judenpress, the U.N.
Infastructure: 1,000,000 Economic Institutions, 1,000 Judenpress Mass Media Outlets, 1,000 Synagogues
Army:
10,000,000- Bankers and Accountants
10,000- Anti-Disengagement Religious Fanatics
10,000- Judenpress Affiliates
10,000- Rabbis
1,000- Nosey Politicians

The World Jewish Conspiracy consists of Jews all around the world who run things from behind the scenes. Some are ultra-religious fanatics, others are secular accountants who weild the awesome power of the Judenpress. With their having accumalated the knowledge of ecenomics, dentistry, the Judenpress, and paranoia of the Goyim, they have risen to greatness and may eventually come to run things from infront of the scenes, rather than just behind the scenes.

The United States of Devious Snakes(the USA,East Coast)
Long ago when corrupt humans ruled the earth,the snakes suffered and so did the people.Then came the great champion,saviour,called by some Saladin but the code name he is most known for is Big Boss...He crushed the corrupt humans/machines/new age hippies and ushered in a new era of prosperity,in a land he renamed Outer Heaven.Now snakes and small percentage of humans live in this great land.With Big Boss in charge and his first officer a crazy cyborg ninja called Gray Fox...what could go wrong?

Techs:Human weapons and tech(includingt the Cardboard box of DOOM[see sig]),Advanced Deviousness,Advaced Strangling,Advanced swallowing,Amphibiousness,Advanced Sneaking,Advanced Sensors,Advanced Awesomeness

50,000,000 snakes
250,000 Human commandos
100 Metal Gear RAYs and REX(100 of each type)
1 Big Boss(see avatar)
1 Crazy Cyborg Ninja

awesome, thanks

ill get an updated map and proper stats ASAP

PS warning for Krimzon striker: reports that magical amazon warriors are attacking your military patrols, some of your huge big hammer guys have been injured!

Army:
50,000 Armoured Penguin Infantry (APIs)
1,000 TurboMegaTanks (TMTs)
10,000 Penguin Attack Walkers (PAWs)

The True Alexandrine Panda Empire of the Splendid and Grand Orient. (China around Shanghai)

Beginning in the fabled ITNES where they woke from their hundred thousand year cold sleep, they have destroyed the balance of power aligning with the Penguins against the evil of the "God-Hating "Polar Bears and Sea Otters. They have sworn to destroy the evils of "Communism" throughout the dimensions and are proceeding to do so under the New Leadership of Grand Imperator Xion-Tui.

Infrastructure: 1500 Panda Nurturing homes, all the tech needed for an uber imperialistic state.

Tech: Advanced Chewing, Titanium Claws, Diamond like fur, Anti-matter weaponry, Advanced Laser Weaponry, Advanced Shield point defense, Advanced Human Genetics Engineering

Army:
-50,000,000 Imperial Panda Comiterns
-1,000,000 Imperial Panda Stormtroopers
-900AT-ATs
-3500 AT-STs
-5000 X-wings
-3500 Y-wings
-2500 B-wings
-100 Victory Class Star Destroyers
-20 Imperial Star Destroyers
-2 Super Star Destroyer

The Japanese-Vallhalla-Animntra Mutual Prosperity Sphere. (Japan)
A Strang Colition of a bunch of Goddesse, some Exiled MAgical Girls, and Tokyo that Survived a Nuclar War, these three groups have banded to gether for survivial and have settled down here to live happly ever after. unfrotuantly, they forgot to cheack the naiborhood first.

Techs: 133t computer hacking, Yaggirsal Operating System, Anchint Mecha, Automotive Technolagy, Magic Girls.
Infrastructure: Tokyo Tower, Various Highs school, Mini-Yaggrisial,
Army:
100,000 JSDF members
50,000 angry Norse Warriors
1000 Helecopters
1000 Modern Tanks
400 MECHA!
184 Magical Girls
54 Magical Mascots
24 Goddess
1 Kami-sama in Training
Half a peach.

Globex Corporation




Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!


Leader: Hank Scorpio, call me Hank.
Techs: Advanced hammocks, Advanced Brewing, Nuclear Fission, Monument destroying lazers, Customer Service
Infrastructure: 1000 Globex franchise volcano layers
Army:
50,000,000 assorted minions, employees and contractors
1,000 Devestating Beautiful Henchwenches - i.e. secret agent bait.
10,000 Flame thrower troops
50 Nuclear Death Rays

Hedgehog Empire!!!

Location: Finland
Leader: The Bloodthirsty Hedgehog
Techs: Advanced ion cannons, stolen polar bear technology, advanced underground construction, advanced K-class lasers, superior healthcare system
Infrastructure: Gigantic underground complex
Army:
40,000,000 bloodthirsty hedgehog warriors
5,000,000 well trained hedgehog warriors
20,000 faster-than-light K-wing figthers (based on stolen polar bear technology)
5,000 ion cannon artillery
1 grand ion cannon (located on the orbit)

Polar bear poster depicting Generalissimus Urson (the mug of beer represents the bright and happy future)

The Polarbearum (burgundy/Greenland)
(das)

Techs: Advanced Camouflage (polar bears pretending to be carpets, humans or dumb animals), Interdimensional Gates, Advanced Alternate History, Implausible Future Weaponry, Polar Bear Beer
Infastructure: 1,000,000 polar bear communal houses, 500,000 polar bear breweries, 200,000 polar bear portals, 100,000 polar bear military installations, 100 fake zoos, 1 forum, 1 species, 1 generalissimus.
Army:
50000000000 polar bear divisions,
30000000 polar bear body guard squads,
80000000000000 polar bear ships,
1000000000 polar bear flying icebergs,
60000000000 polar bear tiny invisible faster-than-light helicopters,
100 polar bear history-alterers.

From: Polarbearum
To: Penguinska

The cease-fire is over AGAIN! PREPARE TO DIE, IMPERIALIST PENGUIN SCUM!

To: Polarbearum
From: Hedgehogs
How dare you!!! Penguins have always been closest allies to us, and if you attack them we shall attack you!!! PREPARE TO DIE YOU MARXIST POLAR BEAR SCUM!!!

From: Polarbearum
To: Hedgehogs

Insolent scum! We will bomb your...

*studies papers for a few hours*

..."gigantic underground complex"... We will bomb your gigantic underground complex into nothingnessnessness!!!

Penguinska wonders why, although it has yet to do anything but write a nation description, is already the enemy of several nations. Oh well.

From: Penguinska
To: Polarbearum

You stay in your hemisphere, we stay in hours. Except for tourism.