Zack Mafia IV: Birthday Bash [GAME THREAD]

It was an option.

choxorn said:

Zack, if spam doesn't count, then it wouldn't really be the Takhisis award, would it?

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Well, the purpose is to encourage discussion, not spam.

Ah.

Maybe make it the you award, or the askthepizzaguy award, or something.

Spam is sort of discussion.

But an off-topic discussion. Such as this one, but more non-sensical even.

As unintroduced guests to a party, we were all finding common ground on which to strike up a conversation.

Being mostly, if not all (I'm just assuming, I really don't know) guys here, that topic would be sports.


Relevance created.

Not actually.

choxorn said:

Ah.

Maybe make it the you award, or the askthepizzaguy award, or something.

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Renamed it.

May I ask which is the new name?

Deadline passed, update coming.

May I ask which is the new name?

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You may go read it yourself, you lazy bum.

I'm too much of a lazy bum to go to the first page and search for Takhisis' award which doesn't exist anymore because it has become askthepizzaguy's. Also, I went read it before asking even. I love that sentence. "You lazy bum", it sounds like poetry to me. ish.

Mergle, after walking up twelve flights of stairs to get to his room on the top floor, collapsed on his bed, exhausted. He lay there for several minutes, at which point he thought he heard someone fiddling with the doorknob outside his room. Panicking, Mergle (in a baffling move) quickly raced to his door and looked out. He was relieved when he saw the person in the room next to him opening the door to their room.

The person raised an eyebrow. "Is everything okay, Mergle?"

Mergle breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah. This party is actually pretty great, actually."

The two neighbors said good night to each other, then went back into their own beds. Mergle continued to lay in his bed in paranoid fear that someone was going to attack him.

(No one did.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BSmith1068 looked quizzically at the person who had just busted out of their room in a frenzy. "Is everything okay, Mergle?"

Mergle visibly relaxed. "Yeah. This party is actually pretty great, actually."

BSmith gave an awkward smile. "Well... good night." Making sure to lock the door behind him, to avoid any more potentially awkward encounters with crazed fellow guests, BSmith hung his coat on the coat rack right next to the door.

"I have to admit, Mergle was right. This party is awesome, and so is this house." BSmith changed into his workout clothes, then started his nightly running ritual on the treadmill. After running for fifteen minutes, he stepped off and wiped his face off with a towel. As he was making his way over to the shower, his door suddenly slammed open.

"Put down that towel, BSmith!" cried the intruder.

BSmith dropped the towel in the midst of his uncontrollable fit of laughter after seeing the intruder. "What a stupid mustache! hahahaBLAHAHABWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"

"Shut the hell up! My wife thinks it's very handsome!" The intruder then pulled out a pistol and shot BSmith through the mouth, killing him instantly.

"We won't be hearing any more of your BS, anymore," he smirked.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The mansion's wrestling pit had never been used before. For whatever reason, the idea of standing around and watching two sweaty guys on top of each other was unappealing to the predominantly male guests.

This night was different.

"Why am I even here? I don't remember coming down here..." said robbiecon.

topsecret voiced similar sentiments. "I was supposed to be on a very important conference call right now."

"Let's just leave and forget this ever happened," suggested robbiecon. topsecret nodded his agreement. Unfortunately, they soon discovered the room had no doors.

"No wonder this room is never used."

robbiecon's hands suddenly balled up into fists. "I have a sudden urge to pummel you into a million dust particles."

topsecret's hands had undergone a similar transformation. "Suddenly, I desire nothing more than sucker-punching you in the gonads."

Editor's Note: The above exchange, specifically the last two lines, have been altered to censor the horrific nature of the actual utterances.

topsecret swung his leg out at robbiecon, attempting to sweep his legs out from under him. robbiecon chopped at topsecret's leg, deflecting it harmlessly to the side, then swung a menacing right hook aimed at topsecret's jaw. topsecret dodged out of the way, then went in for the killer wet willie, which robbiecon quickly parried.

"This is weird, I've never fought with anything remotely approaching this level of skill before."

robbiecon tried to headbutt topsecret in the chest at the some moment topsecret tried to bump his impressively muscular chest into robbiecon's noticeably less muscular counterpart, resulting in comical slapstick. A pie fell from the ceiling onto robbiecon's head, ruining his hairdo.

"What the hell...?!"

Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, topsecret chopped at robbiecon's throat and connected devastatingly. Pressing his advantage, he gut-checked robbiecon, then twisted his neck, FINISHing him.

On the ceiling, the following appeared:

Congratulations, topsecret! You have won MORTAL KOMBAT.

Puzzled, topsecret was suddenly back in his own room, which only made him more puzzled. He probably thought he was drunk or something.

"Am I tripping on shrooms or something?"

(Hey, I was close enough.)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A dark figure entered Warman's room, and found he was sleeping. The figure creepily checked on Warman, then shook his head and exited the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The guests gathered the next morning to find the bodies of robbiecon and BSmith missing. However, their consciousnesses had been transferred to nondescript heads, allowing them to continue to to communicate publicly with the rest of the guests.

"What the hell, Zack? What is this?" one of the guests asked.

Zack shrugged. "A wizard did it."

"It's creepy as hell," another guest commented.

Due to the all of the commotion the deaths caused, spaceman98's unsightly sores went largely unnoticed.

"Whatever. It's a new day. Vote in bold for someone to be the lucky main participant in the dunking tank I recently bought."











ALIVE:

33 / 35

atheotes
azzaman333
BigTin
Buddhafish
choxorn
CivCube
classical_hero
DaveShack
Dreadnought
Dumanios
ELITEOFWARMAN8
GhostWriter16
Gone 3 the Celt
JoanK
Joecoolyo
johnhughthom
Kennigit
MartinLuther
Mat93
mayor
mechaerik
Mergle
NedimNapoleon
NinjaCow64
SamSniped
spaceman98
Takhisis
The Black Knigh
topsecret
Verarde
Visorslash
Xenoneb
Zack


DEAD:

2 / 35

BSmith1068
robbiecon

Vote: Zack

Actually, I think there's a decent chance this won't do much (it didn't do much in Zack Mafia 3), but seeing as how this is Zack mafia, lynching Zack at some point has to be the right move- to gain information, if nothing else.

I vote we lynch Zack today. That way he will be able to go around whining about people lynching him because metagaming.

Vote: JoanK because I discourage metagaming.

No, really, why.

JoanK said:

I vote we lynch Zack today. That way he will be able to go around whining about people lynching him because metagaming.

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How about you take a swim, JoanK?

I'd rather not. I already had my fair share of sea and swimming pool today. And yesterday. And pretty much every single day of summer, actually.

JoanK said:

I'd rather not. I already had my fair share of sea and swimming pool today.

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O rly? Even though the Day just barely started?

JOANK IS LYING EVERYONE DUNK HIM

Agreed, JoanK should be dunked for conspiring to kill the host. Choxorn can come later.