Land of Equestria

Equestria's Start
Equestria's Desert Expansion
Diplomacy is unbiased to Talking Horses
Rise of the Empire
The Mexican-Equestrian War
The Great War
The Western Front
The Return of Chaos
5 Year Plan
At War's End
When a Pony Comes Along
Robotics Wars: Episode I The Japanese Menace
Robotics Wars: Episode II Attack on the French
Robotics Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Pony
Robotics Wars: Episode IV A New Front
Robotics Wars: Episode V The Mongols Strike Back
Robotics Wars: Episode VI Return of the Princess
The Rhye's Awakens

Last Writes
Post Humorous: An Epilogue

For the longest time now I have been sudo-lurking on this section of the forum. Posting random pictures and comments that only sometimes had something to do with one minuscule facet of a story. While it is something I enjoy doing, and will continue doing, I have been wanting to write an actual story for the longest time now. I struggled for awhile trying to think of some theme that I had enough knowledge about to properly poke fun at, but that I was not burned out on either. I also didn't want to do a story that had already been done, at least not for my first attempt. This is my first real try at writing a proper story for civ 4. I have done a few brief after action reports, mainly for bug reporting, but it simply is not the same thing.

This is going to be a basic After Action Report(AAR). I am going to be using a modded version of vanilla RFC which adds one civilization with a slightly earlier start then America. I'm going to be playing as Equestria and as such will try to avoid aggressive wars early on.

On to the actual settings:
Mod: RFC Equestria
Speed: Normal
Difficulty: Monarch
Start: 600 AD
Civ: Equestria

Subbed. Will be disappointed if there aren't enough dank memes

subbed

Sir clanky, I officially dub thee New Moai.

Subbing ten times over!

Equestria's Start

Once upon a time in the Magical land of California, there were two regal sisters who ruled together, and created harmony for all the land. However the Equestrian ponies decided that a multitude of rulers was not a good thing therefore, the eldest used her unicorn powers to banish the younger permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on the responsibility of absolute power to build a civilization to stand the test of time.






Despite literally just now having founded a city Equestria found itself in the Renaissance. Despite having never gone through a great fall of society and culture.



Evidently, despite the numerous issues with not having hands, the ponies of Equestria had managed to field 2 ships for the Royal Equestrian Navy. Christened the ESS Pony. The ESS Pony's five-year mission: to explore strange new lands, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no pony has gone before.






Ponies being ponies in all of their infinite ponyness decided that the best course of action was to build theaters everywhere... As soon as their civilization started.



As time went on Equestrians discovered that they were indeed not alone in the world. The strange peoples of East Asia had sent an expedition of caravels to scout out the west coast. Equestria's first contact with the outside world was mixed. While some sought friendship as the ponies of Equestria did, other sought conquest, while still others lived in kingdoms of isolation in which it looked like they were the queen.





Back in the homeland Equestrian settlers had founded the city of Vanhoover which felt the obsessive need to build a theater.



On the high seas the ESS Pony had come into contact with its first true new civilization. The german bloc of Europe was somewhat cordial towards the Equestrian diplomats of the ESS Pony. However they made on grave mistake of insulting Equestria's unhealthy obsession with culture and high fashion. While no hostilities commenced both parties left the meeting feeling cautious towards each other.





Shortly after the meeting England decided that the German bloc needed to be about 20% cooler and left to find its own way in the world



The ESS Pony then embarked on one of its most infamous missions, a meeting with Russian diplomats. Several ponies left the meeting feeling as though they had been violated. The remainder of the records from the captain's log have been classified.

Shortly after Equestria came into contact with the Malinese colonies, the Dutch, the Spainsh, and Ottoman Empire.






Equestria decided it would be a good idea to teach the Spanish about Pony nationalistic ideals in exchange for the their understand of Science.




Domestically Equestria had finished constructing additional theaters and required more banks. Except for ponyville. Which Princess Celestia had specifically ordered to build a library. Additionally Napoleon was met by pony ambassador whom he threatened to kill for trading with his worst enemy.



Equestrians had found a way to profit from the abundance of dogs in Equestria's caves. However it was later found out that this "profit" was simply from recovering stolen goods.



For quite some time Equestrians had been fixated on the art of fashion and menial culture. This zealotry eventually led to them financing and expedition into the Mojave desert to build a cotton plantation.




Meanwhile more applejacks were being diverted northward to utilize the riches around vanhoover. Additionally reports were reaching Equestria that Victoria had called Napoleon "little corporal"



Celestia had decided to force, allow volunteers to settle a city in the middle of a desert to justify Equestria's claim over the area. A great Engineer had emerged in ponyville and St. Augustine made a great report of who had money and who didn't. St. Augustine was never seen again.







Near Europe the ESS Pony had been granted the rights to sail through Spanish waters, thus continuing its journey of discovery. However, as the ESS Pony entered the Mediterranean it was stopped by Napoleon who refused to allow the Equestrian vessel to enter french waters.





Back in Equestria the Settlers from canterlot were just prepared for their great trek as the sought to expand Equestria's glory.

Subbed! That Japan...

Dank/10

It says Caterlot! My home city

CaterpillarKing said:

It says Caterlot! My home city

Click to expand...

I don't know how you guys write 10 of these everyday

I may not be a fan of MLP but if you keep up the humor, I will most definitely continue reading this AAR! 9/10

Lol I'd be lucky if I write 10 in two weeks.

Inb4 brony flaming.

I'm not a brony I'm here for the memes

Equestria's Desert Expansion

Literally as soon as the Settlers of Caterlot were built Dog Soldiers appeared from their base in the Texican copper mines. Equestria had a policy of non-aggression towards the independent city states of greater Mexico and thus were unable to enter their lands. It was decided to send a detachment of less-royal guards to patrol the southern boarder to ensure no Dog Soldiers attempted to steal Equestrian jobs.




Napoleon sent a threat to Equestria. Citing his nunchuck and bowhunting skills Princess Celestia acceded to his unreasonable demands.



Shortly after receiving this threat a world congress was announced. In which ponies were not welcome at. Some hoped to trust in the common sense of the great civilizations of the world. But others cited that they were prone to declare war over name calling.



Following a long voyage from Europe the ESS Pony came into contact with the United States of America. Meanwhile Equestria's valiant boarder patrol continued protecting Equestrian jobs in the south.




Settlers had finally reached the middle of the desert and decided that the best place to found a city would be, not near freshwater, but next to a salt lake that was completely unusable. The ESS Pony continued southwards towards the Spanish city of Miami, which they found had a huge elderly population.







Following the discovery of the Americans on the east coast Equestria commissioned a group of explorers to plot out the habitable continent. The explorers quickly found cows. And proceeded to write Celestia daily reports about what they learned from the cows. Every single day, for 3 years.







The explorers came upon a Texan city which had been taken over by a guy with a bomb in his hand. Evidently the Texans had been terrified into submission by this one guy.









That One Guy with a Bomb

Equestria had discovered how to properly take advantage of their underclass in the name of making business more profitable. This for some reason, that no one has been able to explain made more trade routes possible




Silver was discovered in the hills north of Salt Lick City. Ponies there had dreams of becoming rich with the biggest silver strike this side of Hudson Bay. The government dreamed of all the taxes it would take in from these ponies free labor.

Following the banishment of about half a dozen people and ponies the moon was beginning to fill up faster then expected. To alleviate this Princess Celestia ordered the construction of a dungeon in Ca..n..terlot.



Starswirl the Bearded had emerged in ponyville, where he failed to make any friends. He decided to build an academy there as a monument to this loneliness.




Meanwhile heretics near Salt Lick city began building windmills instead of the most holy of all improvements, watermills. May the lord and savior have mercy on their souls.



The turks offered to teach Equestria about the rights of all men in exchange for a crash course in chemistry. Equestria agreed to this deal but knew that the one true government was Hereditary Rule, in which the ruler never dies, and never accedes control to anyone, ever.






Equestria decided that due to the increased threat of That One Guy with a Bomb in Texas that an expansion in military was necessary.



Throughout Equestria ponies were beginning to become depressed. No one knew why or how. Celestia assumed that more parades in here honor would fix the issue.



The dutch offered to sell their awesome maps to Equestria for 80% of the Equestrian treasury.





As the ESS Pony Voyager(renamed by its captain) reached the southeastern tip of Argentina it began its long journey home to Ca[n]terlot.




Wilbuck Wright had decided to use his talent of box to build most of the statue of liberty on the west coast.




Another wave of depression swept of Equestria. Which coincided with the founding of Mining Co. Coincidence? (Not shown) Following this ANOTHER great depression happened.




The Germans and Portuguese tried to get Equestria to hate the dutch so that they could get the copyrights to a new co-lab "Everybody hates the Dutch"




Ponies had struck it rich north of Salt Lick city. They had established the first of many silver mines in the region.



After an almost 100 year journey the ESS Pony Voyager had returned to Ca-n-terlot. Telling tales of many exploits to all of ponykind.

I sub. So much. Literally dying at the guywithabomb part.

Great Depressions occur when you have an excess of production compared to commerce if that it is any help, windmills might help a lot if it becomes a major problem.

Also Subbed, that Japan introduction was great.

Diplomacy is unbiased to Talking Horses

Heralding the return of the ESS Pony Voyager a plaque was issued commemorating the crew who had endured the dangers of intercontinental travel and Russians. Celestia ordered the ship to immediately explore the east indies.





Lincoln decided that Americans would defiantly want to coexist with multi-colored talking horses and thus offered Equestria a defensive pact.





After failed attempts at buying maps in the past Equestria attempted to buy a map from America.



Victoria attempted to persuade Equestria to join in calling Napoleon "little corporal". However Equestria was math capable and thus avoided the trick.






Meanwhile the ESS Pony Voyager explored the East Indies and got its first glimpse of Japanese lands. Where they made a disturbing discovery.







Following Equestria failure to buy American maps Princess Celestia attempted to buy Mexican maps. Mexico offered to murder some slaves but not sell maps.






After years of building the statue of liberty was complete in Ca[n]terlot. Celestia said in a press conference: "That looks nothing like me"





Exploration of the northern continent continued as did Equestria's push eastward, founding the city of Prince Blublood. During this time great merchants began taking advantage of Equestria's numerous economic gains and free falls.








Flim Flam decided to explore the American territory of Texas despite the rumors of That One Guy with a Bomb.



The mayor of Ponyville decided to let the let the ponies there starve so they could fulfill their lifelong dream of ALL being scientists.





Another non-pony congress was held in which the participants felt that Japan should not let Yakuttsuku go. The ESS Pony Voyager continued its mission discovering an island full of kiwis.

Can't wait until there's an Equestrian Empire Also, what's the UU, UB, and UP?