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RiskNES VI - WAR IS PEACE

So could I. :p

Seriously though, qoou take it back please? :please:
 
Hurried orders in. Whetever or not I may replace Charles Li is up to flyingchicken, but I think finding a back-up player would be a really good idea in case I can't make the deadlines.

Niklas, you should join some actual NESes! Like ABNW for example.
 
qoou said:
Niklas, you should join some actual NESes! Like ABNW for example.
Click to expand...
Been there done that, but I don't have the time anymore. I am in Pre-ChaNES though.
 
Is an update coming?
 
Yes it is. I've just been paranoid of the computers I get Internet from lately--all of them are infested with all sorts of malicious software, and I don't want to risk compromising my computer's usability again via my portable hard drive. The University's wireless network is useless to me now, even if it didn't have its hardware problems, since my laptop's batteries are giving at 15-30 minutes a session.
 
Turn 14

Placement


Combat


Final
​

Reinforcements:
  • J. Cash - 14 reinforcements
  • Simoom - 14 reinforcements
  • Warlord - 17 reinforcements
  • Basque Sepa - 11 reinforcements

Offenses:
  • Neverwonagame3 - A "+2" on a card means the territory associated with that card gets 2 extra battalions.

Notes:
  • Everyone - Terribly sorry about the delay, but I'm not as guilty as I should be because Yellow took long to get its orders in. Now that I've actually done the turn (wrote the strikeouted part before that), I do feel guilty for not having done it sooner. The turn of events is simply AWESOME.
  • human-slaughter - The forces of E. Presley have been out-rocked by the hordes of J. Cash, finished off by the resurgent Basque Separatists.



When I say ASAP, I mean ASAP.​

Spoiler news stuff by request??? :
BREAKING NEWS
No standards upheld news reporting!

E. PRESLEY SIGHTINGS REPORTED. Soon after the dissolution of the evil Svalbard-European state under E. Presley, the former dictator disappeared in a hail of foreign gunfire and media cover-ups. As of late, several people have begun reporting sightings of him in deserts, UFOs, the North Pole, and in the Siberian gulags of long-term rival, J. Cash. Experts are dismissing these claims as "mass hysteria."

SECOND AFRICAN MIGRATION COMPLETED! The Black Die Army under the leadership of Simoom have left their "home base" of the African continent and have settled in the new world. Americans all over are flooding into conscription centers and manufacturing centers for the glory of Simoom.

BASQUE SEPARATISTS RECLAIM HOMELAND, ESTABLISH NEW ORDER IN EUROPE. After more than a decade of confused fighting, the Basque Separatists have finally established the sovereignty of their homeland in Western Europe in addition to establishing the superstate "Basqueuropea." Naysayers are shouting that "Basqueuropea" might end up as another failure just like "Basqueoceania," but they have been promptly detained by the Basque government.
 
Viva la Basqueuropa! Shouldn't I get a couple hundred conscript divisions?

Btw, either the table at the bottom of the update is old, or Elvis Presley really is alive... and is getting 4 divisions each turn.

Edit: orders in.

Moar edit:
Spoiler :
[*]Shadowbound - The British have been wiped off the globe by the Basque Sepa. Requiescat in pulpamenti, oh Perfidious Albion.

[*]human-slaughter - The forces of E. Presley have been finished off by the resurgent Basque Separatists.
Click to expand...
Who's next?

Spoiler :
flyingchicken said:
Useless Oversimplifications:
.Raw Power Ratings: ■■■■■■■■■■
..Manpower Ratings: ■■■■■■■■■■
.Territory Ratings: ■■■■■■■■■■
.Funniness Ratings: ■■■■■■■■■■
Aggression Ratings: ■■■■■■■■■■

*The above thing shows only the current players or less.​
The game's getting a tad exciting, at least in my eyes. Everyone but Lt. Dodge is in a good position, though some better than others in terms of probability. I'd love to see a non-cop out ending to this (though, of course, that's what we're most likely to get).
Click to expand...

Can we please have another one of these soon?
 
Symphony D. said:
Attacks
- 2 from Japan to Kamchatka
Click to expand...
Somebody can't read! Reroll! :p

I will tolerate it. I reserve the right to blame you for any downfall of mine, however.
 
Finally! someone bites the dust. Now push on
 
flyingchicken.
 
Turn 15

Placement


Combat


Final
​

Reinforcements:
  • J. Cash - 12 reinforcements
  • Simoom - 7 reinforcements
  • Warlord - 11 reinforcements
  • Basque Sepa - 12 reinforcements

Offenses:
  • Neverwonagame3 - Your reinforcements don't add up right!

Notes:
  • Everyone - Your convoluted webs of lies and so-called diplomacy have managed to elude me for the most part. I am thankful.
  • Everyone - This was one of the turns where I made a mistake (in this case, I failed to save the game) and had to redo everything. Here's the end-map of the original outcome.



Turn 16 Orders Deadline: Before the weekend ends, please.​

Spoiler Statistics Top 3s ; ( NAME - PLAYER {STAT TOTAL, STAT AVERAGE} ) :
MOST MURDEROUS
1. J. Cash - Symphony D. {114, 7.6}
2. E. Presley - human-slaughter {77, 5.1}
3. Basque Sepa - qoou {53, 3.5}

MOST CASUALTIES
1. E. Presley - human-slaughter {85, 5.7}
2. J. Cash - Symphony D. {83, 5.5}
3. Basque Sepa - qoou {47, 3.1}

MOST MANPOWER
1. J. Cash - Symphony D. {162, 10.1}
2. E. Presley - human-slaughter {144, 9.0}
3. Simoom - Niklas {104, 6.5}

MOST AGGRESSIVE
1. J. Cash - Symphony D. {48, 3.2}
2. E. Presley - human-slaughter {41, 2.7}
3. Simoom - Niklas {36, 2.4}
 
Looks like everybody's good at lying! But some people just really suck at planning. That business in the North Atlantic is pretty goddamn pitiful. You two need to get with the program.

Also, NWG3, for your heinous crimes, illogic, and repeated backstabbing, I will bury you. As in I will kill you, set your corpse on fire, put it in a hole, hold a ceremony in which rock and roll and bagpipes are played, plant your tombstone, promptly kick it over, pee on your grave, and forever hold a grudge against you in all non-story driven alternate realities which we contemporaneously occupy. You shall never know relief.

P.S. Check the other map, it's a sign karma hates you all, and I am its agent. Rue the day!
 
Symphony D. said:
Looks like everybody's good at lying! But some people just really suck at planning. That business in the North Atlantic is pretty goddamn pitiful. You two need to get with the program.
Click to expand...

I never lied, did I? At least I did my best not to for this turn at least.
 
For me, "Ceasefire in Ukraine" makes it pretty damn clear I don't attack it, and you don't attack from it. I don't exactly know how else such a statement could be interpreted, unless you think I'm so incredibly ******ed that I would just sanction you randomly taking my territory while promising not to attack you. Apparently, you do. I appreciate underestimation since it makes my job easier.

But in my book, that makes you a liar and a cheat--for the second time. You're one step below that other guy on my blacklist now.
 
Symphony D. said:
For me, "Ceasefire in Ukraine" makes it pretty damn clear I don't attack it, and you don't attack from it. I don't exactly know how else such a statement could be interpreted, unless you think I'm so incredibly ******ed that I would just sanction you randomly taking my territory while promising not to attack you. Apparently, you do. I appreciate underestimation since it makes my job easier.

But in my book, that makes you a liar and a cheat--for the second time. You're one step below that other guy on my blacklist now.
Click to expand...

Oh... umm... You know what, it took me over half an hour to find this; that's 2 games of Starcraft, a orderset for every NES I'm in, breakfast, etc.! I hope you're happy with yourself...

http://www.explosm.net/comics/85/

And yes, I do think there's something wrong with me atm. I blame it on having just woken up and not having eaten breakfast yet. I'm actually feeling kind of lightheaded; I don't think that's too good...
 
Did you really just try to use Explosm as a retort and not even bother to just link to the image? You have also failed to learn from the strategic blunders of your predecessors. Which is contained within this video; see if you can figure out what it is. (P.S. I totally just did the same joke better than you.)
 
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