Genghis Khan surveyed the maps of his European holdings and frowned. The Romans and Spaniards, hiding behind their allegiances to Egypt and Russia, refused to honor the ancient borders and sent their Workers out to claim the hereditary French and German lands that had been won in honorable combat by the Mongols:
This was unacceptable. Even worse was the fact that the upstart Isabella had set up Assembly Lines all across Iberia and was training her soldiers to fight with the very weapons the Horde used! New military advantages, or at the very least an influx of new materiel, would be needed to bring Spain to its knees.
Caesar, though, was weak, as was his bride-queen Hatshepsut. Their rich cities were garrisoned by leather-clad Longbowmen and a smattering of commoners armed with unrifled muskets.
A speedy subjugation of Egypt and Rome seemed a fine diversion as Bombers were built and an upgrade to Mongolia's obsolete Cavalry brigades was sought:
The people of Thebes were terrified. They saw the Mongolian Scarab-Tanks crest the unmanned fortress hill linking Africa to Eurasia. There was no way that their soldiers, mostly ceremonial since the expulsion of the Greek Invaders, could hold out against those steel behemoths. The garrison, apparently sharing their misgivings, broke and ran (Literally; Thebes had held 8 or 9 units; the turn after I put my Tanks into position, all but two inexplicably started marching south).
Thebes was no shining city- centuries of warfare had destroyed most of its more impressive monuments, and the Mongols, looting and defacing property from the safety of their Scarabs, were not much more gentle:
Rome, the Eternal City, held a significantly higher opinion of itself than did Thebes. Its people were fairly backward but prosperous and happy. They had had their differences with Temujin in the past, and were not thrilled to see that nearby Paris and Berlin had fallen under the Mongol yoke, but they were excited to claim what they could of the lush French and German countryside. They were willing to let bygones be bygones.
Unfortunately for them, the Great Khan holds grudges:
The hulking beasts squatting outside Rome reminded the citizens of massive, cannon-wielding Praetorians, belching smoke and rumbling like angry dragons. The Roman soldiers fought bravely and well, but their weapons were no match for the Tanks' impenetrable hides.
Refugees, including the noble Caesar himself, fled southward toward Sicily as the city's perimeter was breached:
Mongol commanders let the people run. How far could they go?
On the north African coast, Russian observers took careful notes as village after village fell to the armored juggernaut:
Temujin hated to show his hand in this way, but Catherine was far from Industrial Revolution, and was tinkering with meaningless secrets of the atom rather than improving the lifeblood of her very nation. Let the Russians gawk!
Of course, the campaign was not simply one of conquest. Mongol brutality exploded into atrocity in less strategically valuable cities:
The free peoples of the world begged Genghis Khan to stop the war crimes. That was all they could do, though: beg.
In the north, the Roman bastion of Antium was surrounded on all sides. Destroyers floating offshore pummeled the city walls, faceless Tanks slaughtered elite Grenadiers by the dozen, and the citizenry were driven underground by merciless, untouchable Bombers.
Finally, in 1792, the once-proud Roman empire ceased to be:
Caesar himself had each arm and leg strapped to a different Tank and was ripped apart in a gruesome display of Mongol power.
Upon hearing of the fate of her beloved Julius, and that of the people of Pithom, Hatshepsut knew that there was only one way for the brutality to end. With a heavy heart, she accepted Genghis Khan's offer of marriage, and went off to live in the factory-city of Chengdu:
Egyptian lands are now administered by a new regent, an energetic young functionary named Ramesses. Okay, not really, but cut me some slack, eh?
Genghis Khan never tired of war, but he felt the toll it took on his people. He dressed himself in his finest furs, applied an extra daub of grease to his beard, and stood before the United Nations.
"Fellow world leaders," he began. "It is well known to all gathered here that your petty nations continue to exist only at my whim. I ask only for a token of submission. A vote for my overlordship is a vote for the lives of your people."
Temujin scanned the room. "Honestly, I have already won. How do you hope to defeat me? Montezuma? You expect to conquer the world? The ineptitude of your army is matched only by that of your navy! Catherine? You expect to build a spaceship? You can't even build an automobile. And I swear," and with this his tone went from teasing to grave, "if
any of you tries to snake a Cultural Victory out from under my nose, I will rip your throat out and feed it to my horses."
A low hush fell over the room as the votes were tallied. A recount was called, and the census of Scandinavia was pored over to ensure the accuracy of the result. Finally, in 1796, the results were in:
14 votes short! Needless to say, the Mongol emperor's response was less than understanding. A full week had passed before he was finally calm enough to resume his duties as President.
His first act? To vent his rage on the woman who had the gall to run against him:
Russia's European and Middle Eastern border was massive, so the battles there tended to be cat-and-mouse ones of maneuver and deception. Progress was slow.
In Asia, meanwhile, troops funneled through the Tomsk Corridor, hurtling against the city of Sardis, which had declared itself Russian despite its Mongol occupation:
Egypt fought the Mali to a standstill. Neither combatant was a particularly warlike people, and neither's territory was honestly worth the loss of life it would take to claim it, so few actual battles were fought. This suited the Mongols well enough. So long as a massive, obsolete Malinesian army didn't traipse into the Arabian peninsula, Genghis Khan would be content.
The war against Spain, though, was an exclusively Mongolian affair. In fact, some historians argue that claiming Iberia and quashing Isabella's knowledge of Infantry was Khan's main objective in the crusade:
Seville held little of value. Its people smashed the gun-making equipment before it could be determined whether it was stolen Technology or simply an independent discovery.
Madrid, however, was full of cultural treasures:
Genghis laughed. The tithes of the world's Buddhists would serve to pay only for their own domination!
Isabella made her final stand on the steps of the Church of the Nativity in Barcelona, exhorting her troops to fight to the last man before her head was vaporized by an opportunistic sniper:
The source of Isabella's Infantry was never discovered with much certainty, but her secret died with her.
The tempestuous Catherine, though, was not going to take the loss of her border cities lightly. She amassed every spare soldier she could put on a horse, and gave them powerful new Artillery pieces and orders to take Hamburg:
The Mongols rushed everything they could to the city's defense, and a valiant stand was made, but it was not enough. The battered invaders were promptly driven off by Mongol reinforcements, but the damage was done. The city's cultural landmarks lay in ruins, and the recalcitrant citizenry refused to resubmit to proper authority.
Catherine also sent speedy outriders around the front to take the lightly-defended city of Tomsk:
Again, these were petty annoyances but they added up. Catherine was a worthy opponent.
By 1810, warfare had been revolutionized. Russian garrisons now regularly held black-clad Anti-Tank troopers, which could crack the once-impenetrable Mongol Armor like fragile eggshells. That hardly mattered now, though, as the bumbling Cavalrymen upgraded to Keshik Flyboys:
Eventually, even mighty Moscow fell to the Gunships' withering, fast-hitting assault:
Hatshepsut was broken and humiliated. Catherine was on the ropes. Montezuma had retreated into isolation. Mongolia stood astride the globe as an undisputed colossus. The time for asking was over with.
Genghis, now flanked by a pair of submachine-gun-wielding Paratroopers, slammed his hand down on the U.N. lectern. The other representatives shrank back in their chairs, having little choice but to comply:
A darkness fell upon the land...
Well, that was fun! These massive late-game military pushes always take a lot out of me, but they're always a blast to write up. Thanks to everyone for following, and I apologize for the U.N. victory, but, well, the game was won millenia ago.
How did we do? I'm glad you asked:
Better than Saladin! Not too shabby! I'll see you next game!