Global

Well, he has a Celt story going on right now, so that might be it.
 
I don't get what you said. :confused:
 
Hey, no panicking. I'm just heavily work occupied right now. Once I get midterm grades in and finish filing my taxes (yeah, I'm one of those people), I'll finish editing the latest installments and post them.
 
No problem Bucky. I wasn't planning on asking for an update for another week or two.

edit: Congrats on your 3,000th view!
 
Me Too :goodjob:
 
I know my updates are sucking in stereo right now. I promise the game isn't dead, just on a brief hiatus until our standardized No-Child-Left-Behind testing madness season is over with. I don't have a lot of spare time, but a good bit of the story is already in note form. I have one other project I'm working on which is eating up what little time I might otherwise have spent on "Global", but I assure you good things are in the works.

Sorry for the delay, folks.

Sparthage wrote
I'd be content with a spoiler

Okay, here's a spoiler for ya...
Spoiler :
Jacob is the Smoke Monster's father!
 
You should apologize. Bumping is very bad, O Numidian.

For you, I'll go finish editing that crap & post it tomorrow, even though it may cost me three pages' progress on that other thing I'm working on.
 

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The Last Samurai
America completes the Pacifikan Conquest

In the 9th century BC, American raiders began moving in on the receding vestiges of Japanese culture. American wargangs harassed Japanese frontier settlements and wrested control of the Tokyo Forest's spice trade from the Tokyoan forest clans. The Tokyo army responded with harsh violence, counter striking the Americans in 875bc. In the bloody forest fighting that followed, there was no great military victory. But the American fighters' superior strength made the outcome clear. In subsequent decades, American forces slugged and slaughtered their way across the spice rich woods and entered the East Japanese coastal plain.


Alongside the American onslaught from the west came an opportunistic Sakae invasion from the south as well. From the two opponents combined, Tokyoan losses were so severe that they delayed training of effective archers to defend the city when the Yankee barbarians arrived at the city gates in the 840s bcc. Tokyoans fought valiantly, but easily fell to the Americans. Then the Yanks turned south to fight off the Sakae barbarians they'd unleashed.


After, the conquest of Tokyo, the American core in the south became more prosperous with an influx of goods from the north, including gems, beads, pottery, spices, and iron. Despite their lack of culture, the American began to emerge from barbarism and develop an urban merchant class, not unlike the decadent, effeminate northerners they had so long despised. From 800 to 775bc, American invaders ravaged the little available farmland around the Edo incense harvesting community in the Fuji Mountains, the last holdout of Japanese culture. For the rest of history, the Japanese people would answer to American masters.

By 775bc, the Sakae Jungle barbarians had learned from the Americans' military tactics and were amassing huge numbers of troops south of the Tokyo Forest. After Edo capitulated, Yankee swordsmen and archers were able to rush south from the Fujis and confront the growing Sakae menace. Historians estimate that at the time of the Fall of Edo, the American empire was as much as 33% ethnic Japanese.

In 730bc the Americans began moving their assaults against the cannibalistic Sakae tribes into the jungle. After two generations of war, the Sakae threat was decimated and American warriors began to withdraw from the unproductive jungle lands. To commemorate the events, legend states, the great American war chief Big Red oversaw the development of the earliest writing systems of the American culture around 670bc, marking the beginning of the end of American barbarism.


The next great event recorded was the last campaign of Big Red, the American assault on the seafaring Anasazi people of the coastal Arid Zone south of Big Apple beginning in 630bc. Big Red cast a long shadow over American history, setting a standard of xenophobia and slaughter that subsequent chieftains would struggle to meet.

One of his more worthy successors, Short Mad, addressed this challenge with aplomb, determining to wipe out the sedentary and harmless Yue-Chi people of northern Pacifika using only archers. Unfortunately the Yue-Chi proved to be considerably tougher opponents than the Anasazi or Japanese had been. Short Mad responded by stepping up the ruthlessness of his tactics, but still these noble warriors resisted.

With the all-archer attack failing, in 490bc, Short Mad withdrew his surviving troops from Yue-Chi territory and began shifting his other forces north for the coming counter attack. Once they were finally defeated, they quit being so noble. The embittered Yue-Chi, horrified by the senseless slaughter of their people by Short Mad's warriors, turned to piracy and thieving in the centuries ahead.

 
Paint.NET for the fancy stuff. When I'm doing comedy dialog balloons, I still prefer the bootleg look of MS Paint.
 
Barb on Barb Violence
War is the Cause of Religion and Nationalism

With his warchiefs squabbling at the loss of honor, running away from the Yue-Chi, Short Mad instituted the First Law in 430bcc, a unified law code that recognized the rights of warriors among the nobles and fixed fair treatment for the peasantry as well. Old Short Mad continued to prepare his nation's warriors for revenge on the Yue-Chi, but died before the new invasion could be launched. A brief period of indecision convulsed the people; what new leader could inspire the people as the brilliant Short Mad had done?

In the end, a man emerged who led, not by the genius of a Short Mad or a Big Red, but by the clarity of his faith in the warrior spirit of his people and by his unshakable valor in the field. He was known as Horsebreaker in his youth, but upon ascension to the position of war chief of the people he assumed the exalted name of Pure Soul--for all the shamans said you could turn him inside out and not find a blemish on his character.


He reorganized the warrior classes of America and integrated the North Americans with his South American forces. In 370bcc, the first Army of Purity crossed the Pacifikan highlands and outmaneuvered the Yue-Chi on their home ground. Then his forces picked off the barbarians in a series of little fights, whittling them away to insignificance. It was not enough, for this violent tribe was itself a blemish on the character of the eastern continent.
Pure Soul moved his forces north to the homeland of the Yue-Chi in the far north and obliterated them. In his victory odes, the grand general rephrased the language of America and had it said he "purified" them.

The children of Yue-Chi were absorbed into the nation. The peasants were granted as serfs to the conquering heroes while the warriors among them were reduced to simple trades. Pure Soul called this new form of conquest "the great smelting pot" as the iron of many peoples were forged into a single alloy of national purpose.

For another generation the Army of Purity tamed the tribes of the far north: the Apache, the Polynesians, the Cheeseheads, and the Sooners. All entered the nation, boiled to perfection in the American smelting pot. A growing sense of mysticism began to take root among the once nomadic Yanks. Those who would not join in the larger purpose of the whole continent would have to at least pay their share in tribute to the warriors of the light, the Army of Purity.

Pure Soul ordered his war captains to extract tribute from the swamp-dwelling Teotihuican tribes of the west and the jungle dwelling Sakae tribes in the east. This came to be known as the Purity Doctrine—the long held assertion that the American tribes had the right to exact tributes and taxes and impose land claims against the homelands of any tribes in the Pacifikan Continent. The Yankee language war slogan "manuphest distunie" is often mistranslated into the modern phrase "ours by right of conquest." The better translation is "ours to wring out a profit."

At the same time the North American empire began to fortify the Isthmus of Sarosima, bringing them into conflict with the expanding Iroquois Carib nations and the nomadic eastern Ainu.


By 150bcc, the aggressive American pursuit of tributes from its neighbors triggered a continent wide alliance of all the barbarians. They swore pagan oaths to resist the hungry Yanks and bring them to heel. By an accident of history, the reigning warmaster of the Army of Purity, Hickoryman, stumbled onto the barbarian alliance earlier than the conspirators expected. Across the continent violence erupted. The surrounded Americans still had a daunting, if not hopeless, fight on their hands.

Facing a unified opposition, Yankee communities began to unify their own culture, seeking to fight and conquer as one made of many parts. American priests integrated their diverse gods into a coherent pantheon, a federal polytheism, in order to encourage warriors of all the kingdoms to cooperate.

The Great Polynesian tribes presented the largest threat, so Hickoryman marched his Army of Purity north toward the mounted Chanca bands as they converged on Edo. At the same time, a rampaging Ainu force moved east and only a solitary spearman troop would be available to confront them at the Hotlands of Sarosima.

In 110bcc Hickoryman crushed the Polynesians west of Edo and set about reducing their principal villages to ashes. His men called it the pleasing scent of hickory smoke and they barbecued the enemies' dogs in celebration of their victories. Old Hickoryman was feeble by the close of these years, however, and resigned a hero, passed his command as warmaster over to his son, Little Magic.

Little Magic surprised his warchiefs by splitting the Army of Purity into two factions—one to confront the Ainu beyond Sarosima and the other to go pacify the "unpassable" Sakae Jungle. Under his guidance, the warlord of Fogtown dispatched the Ainu homeland with archers. On the east coast, American warlords trudged through the jungle to whittle down the Sakae savages. In the final years of the 1st Century BCC, Americans began aggressively settling in the north country taken from the Barbarian Alliance. By 1ad, only the southern Caribs remained unconquered.
 
Do you having raging barbs on or something? :lol:

From a historical perspective, barb invasions were the downfall of numerous civs: Middle Kingdom Egypt, Shang China, Mycenae, Rome, etc. So it would be interesting how you can make the barbs into an actual force in the game.
 
Do you having raging barbs on or something? :lol:

From a historical perspective, barb invasions were the downfall of numerous civs: Middle Kingdom Egypt, Shang China, Mycenae, Rome, etc. So it would be interesting how you can make the barbs into an actual force in the game.

Oh, I always do raging barbs. I wish I knew how to mod it up so they could take over cities like they did in Civ 2. The fact that they just plunder the closest city of its gold was kind of a let down, truth to tell. That's why I kinda treat the Americans as barbs here.
 
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