Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

I make my flashy debutante in this round, complete in pimped out dress :3

I slither out of the sky and proceed to swallow Omega124 whole

With the fighters down I land my airplane onto Air Force One to replace the current president with myself.

Yeeeah, in retrospect it was pretty dumb to plug this when the round is still wrapping up. Old house rule is once I've hit a certain number of players I defer future applications.

Gonna send out a memo to the extants; next update probably tomorrow.

I give Thorvald enough stamina and focus to handle an infinite number of Roll To Dodge posters.

I also get a job in graphic design and/or the arts in general.

I go on a country-wide tour of Mexico's hospitals, giving an academic, yet motivational, medical talk to select medical practitioners about my condition, thereby sharing knowledge and thanking my people for their continued hard work.

I find a locksmith to unlock the handcuffs for me....

(Can't believe I'm participating in this game -_-)

Search for a book of magic.

Seon said:

I make a reappearence by jumping out of a smoke screen.

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6: Unfortunately it's tear gas. More unfortunately, you trip on a rock, leading to overexposure. You start this round 15 hitpoints short and disoriented, suffering a -2 penalty to all rolls.

NinjaCow64 said:

I aid the Brotherhood of Dodge by creating a biological weapon that targets and kills inactive players.

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16: Any player that fails to respond in this round will lose 10 hitpoints per missed turn.

christos200 said:

Can I join?

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18: You join as Christospikune Twohundba, communist dictator of Hellenic Namibia.

hoplitejoe said:

I peacefully bring Afghanistan under the brutal rule of the Rhino Socialist Paradise by regailing stories of my many victories.

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11 (15): You're made honourary leader of a Tadjik clan.

Red_Spy said:

Now that I'm in Moscow, announce my intent to run for office.

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15 (18): Putin laughs at your feeble attempt to dethrone Russia's rightful Czar. You patiently remind him who lifted the country out of pariah status, and hint ever-so-threateningly that one word from you could make all those pesky Chechen rebels return with double force. He begrudgingly concedes to permit your campaign. Fervent supporters donate $1200 to cover your expenses.

Ailedhoo said:

Aile Dhoo summons himself to this realm!

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15: Like the hyenakin you secretly are, you steal juKar-C's jeep, laughing maniacally.

Kinich-Ahau said:

I open a portal to Xibalba.

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4: You open a portal to Mobius: Total Chaos. So long as it remains active you suffer -1 SAN, and will probably be held responsible for any powergaming eldritch abominations that emerge.

Omega124 said:

I make my flashy debutante in this round, complete in pimped out dress :3

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20: You stride out into the African savanna sporting an elegant yet surprisingly durable dress that provides +2 to basic defence and +2 to social interaction, and a huge-ass sword from Fire Emblem that provides +2 to mêlée combat.

SouthernKing said:

I slither out of the sky and proceed to swallow Omega124 whole

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3: You slither right onto that huge-ass sword, suffering immediate 18 damage and ongoing -8 hitpoints from internal bleeding.

Terrance888 said:

With the fighters down I land my airplane onto Air Force One to replace the current president with myself.

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1: The rest of the air force responds.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (9): A homing missile hits the fuselage, shocking you for 13 damage.

CivCube said:

I give Thorvald enough stamina and focus to handle an infinite number of Roll To Dodge posters.

I also get a job in graphic design and/or the arts in general.

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20 (19): this round will never end, will it???
13 (12): With your pickaxe and cuffed hands, you become a famous street performer, earning a comfortable $9/turn.

Dhoomstriker said:

I go on a country-wide tour of Mexico's hospitals, giving an academic, yet motivational, medical talk to select medical practitioners about my condition, thereby sharing knowledge and thanking my people for their continued hard work.

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3 (7): Turns out you're not as fluent in Spanish as you thought. The audience misinterprets your speech as defending ludicrous prices for critical pharmaceuticals, and popular approval plummets. You now suffer a -1 penalty to statesmanship.

CivGeneral said:

I find a locksmith to unlock the handcuffs for me....

(Can't believe I'm participating in this game -_-)

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15:

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15: You really can't believe you're participating in this game, and suffer a -1 penalty to all rolls.


landlubber, Darth Caesar, hendo, Verarde, and MoreEpicThanYou are declared AWOL.
N.B.: No, you don't get multiple actions; those were opportunities I couldn't afford to pass up.

4: You open a portal to Mobius: Total Chaos. So long as it remains active you suffer -1 SAN, and will probably be held responsible for any powergaming eldritch abominations that emerge.

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I head to the capital of Hellenic Namibia to make my social debut in the cultured aspect in that city, endearing myself to as many as possible

Thankfully, the alien nature of myself and my aircraft allows my regeneration to help keep it airborne.

I thrash the American Force with my Snail Flail. And my Air Plane. Lika baws.

Thorvald of Lym said:

15: Like the hyenakin you secretly are, you steal juKar-C's jeep, laughing maniacally.

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Taking inspiration from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas I begin a crazy road to journey to... Brighton!

As part of my new fundraising strategy, I announce that anyone who donates to my campaign within the next week has a chance to be the one to win $1000 (game money, not rubles of course).

I find a white mage and heal myself

My sick moves cause an epidemic of unbelievable.

I take a disoriented dive into the Thames to clear my eyes out.

I unite all the clans of Iran under my banner.

The Brotherhood of Dodge must end this game and start the next, so decrees Thorcain of Lym our leader. Therefore I create a satelite that fires hot death lazers at the player with the lowest health every turn. DODGE DODGE DODGE!

I take a disoriented dive into the Thames to clear my eyes out.

I challenge the first abomination that exits the portal to an accordion playing competition.