1001 Bad (or good) Jokes About CIV

Sturmgewher88mm said:

353. Why did Bismarck try to settle all his cities on mountains? So Germany would be über Alles

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353.5: Bis-mark or Miss-the-mark? You can't settle on mountains.

353.5': Germany wants to settle on mountains? Impassable!

redwings1340 said:

Come on Gori, we need another 600 from you!

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Hey, it's a communal effort. But since you asked so polite-like, I'll help out a little:

355. My friend Gustavus' UA helps other people as much as it does him. That's sure Nobel of him.

356. I saw a tile that would put me in reach of three luxes, but before I could get to it my neighbor founded a city within 3 tiles of it, and cut me out of one of them. So I'll just have to settle for two luxes.

357. When Augustus captured Alex's tenth founded city, he told him, "All Rhodes lead to Rome."

358. (Alternate, G&K forward, version of 348). The Celts build Terracotta Army; their military is Dublin.

359. Hey Hoplite, Hey Companion Cavalry. Yeah, You, You.

360. I picked Freedom as my ideology, but my high-tourism neighbors picked a different one. It's causing so much unhappiness that I'm getting rebellions. I'm going to have to impose Order on the situation.

361. You beat me to the follower belief I wanted: Pagodas. I can't mosque the fact that I'm quite upset about that.

362. Since Scholars of the Jade Hall pertains to the capital, it means that even more than for most civs, Korea's capital is the Seoul of their civilization.

363. Rome's unique units are having a hard time getting acquainted with the soldiers he got from Volunteer Army. They are finding the newcomers a foreign legion.

364. I thought I could successfully mount an invasion against a neighbor with units two beyond my cavalry, but it just tanked.

365. When Antananarivo asked me if I could connect furs into my trade network, it was really furstrating when I found out there were no furs on my continent

366. When Japanese in the mainland heard of hideyoshi, they hid their horses.
367. You wonder why " they " didn't put Hitler in civilization.

reddishrecue said:

366. When Japanese in the mainland heard of hideyoshi, they hid their horses.

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Correction: When the mainland Japanese heard of Hideyoshi, they hid their small green dinosaurs.

Hey, this thread is back. This thread is fun.

368. (Homusubi's is 367) I have a great writer, and I know he can write a political treatise, but Ovid not spend him that way.

Homusubi said:

Correction: When the mainland Japanese heard of Hideyoshi, they hid their small green dinosaurs.

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I said horses because Yamato was known for its cheap cavalry, but not everyone from Japan is Yamato i think.

reddishrecue said:

I said horses because Yamato was known for its cheap cavalry, but not everyone from Japan is Yamato i think.

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Yamato Province, Yamato as a name for Japan, or the Yamato people? I don't understand your question.

EEE_BOY said:

I like this one.
Wu Zetian made paper
from 3P: Pacal, Pachacuti and Pocatello.
Add Pedro if she wants 4P.

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lewd people!

369: Those Danes really do live nice. They have Bluetooth.

370: What does Sejong yell every time he practices marshal arts? Hwa'cha!

371: Atilla's Mom: Atilla, Hun, Don't forget your lunch.

372: After a war, the Assyrians told their former ally that their open border deal was done, and wouldn't be removed. The allies response was "Are you sure you'll ban a pal?" (Arshubanipal)

373: Wow, those Aztecs are rich early game!!! They have pet Jaguars.

374: Poor Pacal. It's a Long Count tell the Mayan new year.

375: When asked who would be able to capture the most city-states, everyone said Genghis Khan.

Homusubi said:

Yamato Province, Yamato as a name for Japan, or the Yamato people? I don't understand your question.

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Yamato civilization had cheap cavalry in Age of Empires which is why I said Yamato was known for cheap cavalry. I've seen Yamato province in Shogun as well. I don't/didn't have a question.

Magma_Dragoon said:

I don't speak English, I speak...
(•_•)
( •_•)>-
(_)

Washing-tongue

YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

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You must be a big fan of Washington. Lol

376. When the first hanse of Berlin was occupied, guerillas " popped out" of the city to try to recover their city.

377. Gandhi wanted some dinner so he decided to nuke the Chinese.

Sorry if this was already posted, it's paraphrased from a W.C. Fields movie.

I played poker with Shaka.
Zulu's?
No I won!

HanNorwood said:

371: Atilla's Mom: Atilla, Hun, Don't forget your lunch.

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More like: Atilla, Hun, don't forget to collect some lunch money!

^^^379

380. I once saw Spain amassing an armada. I wonder how that'll turn out

381. When Japan's Air force attacked, the had "Zero" tolerance for weakness.


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I suck at this,but I thinked about this one:

382. Oda Nobunaga to Bismarck: "Don't copy my (kamikaze) strategy when you're invading that London".

383.
Q: What did (insert warmonger's name) say when they captured Thebes?
A: How wonder full.