1001 Bad (or good) Jokes About CIV
- Thread starter Fish Man
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Gori the Grey
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95. Some of your city tiles you'll be excited about; others are just plain.
96. I find a citadel to be the best improvement, in general.
97. I'm not usually too excited about jungle tiles, but sometimes I go bananas when I see them.
96. I find a citadel to be the best improvement, in general.
97. I'm not usually too excited about jungle tiles, but sometimes I go bananas when I see them.
Greizer85
Emperor
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@Gori: oh god, stop with the goddamn puns! 
I've seen some bad puns, but these are downright evil ones! 
As for my jokes, let's go with more Gandhi stuff:
98. Knock knock. -Who's there? Gandhi with a nuke!
99. Which came first, chicken or the egg? It doesn't matter, Gandhi nuked them both!
100. What did Gandhi say when he ran out of nukes? Dammit, if you don't build me more nukes, I'll nuke you all to death! 
I've seen some bad puns, but these are downright evil ones! As for my jokes, let's go with more Gandhi stuff:
98. Knock knock. -Who's there? Gandhi with a nuke!
99. Which came first, chicken or the egg? It doesn't matter, Gandhi nuked them both!
100. What did Gandhi say when he ran out of nukes? Dammit, if you don't build me more nukes, I'll nuke you all to death!
Gori the Grey
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101. What does Ghandi build when he's fired off all of his nukes? Newks.
PhilBowles
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@Gori: oh god, stop with the goddamn puns!
102. If Darius offers to sell you a bank claiming it can increase happiness, don't accept. It satrap!
103. My starting settlers are hungry, so I'm searching for a deer tile to make Venice on.
King William I
King
106. I Theodora the Byzantine ability
107. I was war with Byzantium and needed laser eye surgery, too many Cataphracts
108. It's Constantinople, not Istanbul, but I don't need to Dromon
109. Comanche the Shoshone Calvary, they ride for miles
107. I was war with Byzantium and needed laser eye surgery, too many Cataphracts
108. It's Constantinople, not Istanbul, but I don't need to Dromon
109. Comanche the Shoshone Calvary, they ride for miles
Gori the Grey
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112: Needing walls and castle as a prerequisite can be a real pain in the arsenal.
redwings1340
Emperor
112.5: I was all set to make a tribute pun, but decided it was too Gori
Gori the Grey
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95.5 
Undefeatable, I'd say that when you number your jokes, you aren't looking at the last page, but I'm worried that my criticism wouldn't count.
Undefeatable, I'd say that when you number your jokes, you aren't looking at the last page, but I'm worried that my criticism wouldn't count.
Gori the Grey
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I think people labeling their jokes with a .5 are trying to not have them in the count of the 1001 because they're more directed toward another poster than on topic.
So I'm going to not count 112.5 or 95.5, but count 95 as 114, and offer the following as 115. With otaman already in as 116, the one after me should be 117. (Oh, who'm I kidding; that's going to be me.)
That's my sense of the count, anyway, if that makes any sense.
115. I just got a great writer. I'm trying to decide whether to buy an ampitheatre for the great work of writing slot. My writer: Spenser!
117 (See!): Carthage spawned next to the Aztecs, and Monty rushed her right away. She didn't Dido.
Puns coming at you at supersonic speed:
118. Merchantile city states are ones of which I never Tyre, but militaristic ones sometimes Hanoi me.
119. To really grow your cap, Ur going to need a maritime city state ally.
120. Yes, I know you need two different techs to develop your luxes, but I don't want to hear you crab and whine about it.
121. I've developed my ivory and fur, so now we're happy campers.
122. If someone beats me to Goddess of Festivals, I'll be incensed.
123. Really query whether you want to get 50 faith each time a great person is expended.
124. I'd love to build a longswordsman. I hope my spy can steal Steel.
125. If I need a trading post to get the benefit, why do they call it Free Thought?
126. Through careful placement of my citadel, Uranium is now My-ranium, Ghandi!
You're welcome, Greizer.
So I'm going to not count 112.5 or 95.5, but count 95 as 114, and offer the following as 115. With otaman already in as 116, the one after me should be 117. (Oh, who'm I kidding; that's going to be me.)
That's my sense of the count, anyway, if that makes any sense.
115. I just got a great writer. I'm trying to decide whether to buy an ampitheatre for the great work of writing slot. My writer: Spenser!
117 (See!): Carthage spawned next to the Aztecs, and Monty rushed her right away. She didn't Dido.
Puns coming at you at supersonic speed:
118. Merchantile city states are ones of which I never Tyre, but militaristic ones sometimes Hanoi me.
119. To really grow your cap, Ur going to need a maritime city state ally.
120. Yes, I know you need two different techs to develop your luxes, but I don't want to hear you crab and whine about it.
121. I've developed my ivory and fur, so now we're happy campers.
122. If someone beats me to Goddess of Festivals, I'll be incensed.
123. Really query whether you want to get 50 faith each time a great person is expended.
124. I'd love to build a longswordsman. I hope my spy can steal Steel.
125. If I need a trading post to get the benefit, why do they call it Free Thought?
126. Through careful placement of my citadel, Uranium is now My-ranium, Ghandi!
You're welcome, Greizer.
Greizer85
Emperor
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Oh Gawd -- where do you work? Guantanamo?
Let's have some more:
124. What did the Cossack say when he entered Catherine's bedroom? -Time to get productive!
125. What's worse than being a Great Admiral? -Being the Great Admiral of Minor Duckpond, Iceland.
126. A Shoshone tour guide was met with complaints by his customers: they wanted a beach holiday, while the resort was up in the mountains. The Shoshone flexed his pecs and immediately a beach materialized. Asked how he did it, he shrugged and said simply: 'magic'!
127. Mommy, what is a Korean Turtle Ship? -I don't know honey, go ask your dad or read the Kama Sutra!
128. What's Gandhi's favorite dish? -Nukes on a uranium bed, served with a flash of x-rays, washed down with some Radithor, and yellowcake for dessert!
Gori the Grey
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Oh Gawd -- where do you work? Guantanamo?
You know this just encourages me, don't you?
133. What other flavoring is in the game besides spices, cloves, nutmeg and pepper? Mint!
134. Don't forget those Bazaar Candi everyone gets on Halloween!
