No one likes me...

I put the game down a while back and just starting up again (g&k).

When I left off I was America and had about 8 cities. I guess I was pretty expansive. I was playing on Chieftain level.

The problem was that no one else liked me. Every ruler had it in for me and I had two active wars going on. Early on things were pretty calm and I had pretty good relationships with not all but most.

Is this typical? And if so what is the best way to proceed?

Thanks all.

Segwin said:

I put the game down a while back and just starting up again (g&k).

When I left off I was America and had about 8 cities. I guess I was pretty expansive. I was playing on Chieftain level.

The problem was that no one else liked me. Every ruler had it in for me and I had two active wars going on. Early on things were pretty calm and I had pretty good relationships with not all but most.

Is this typical? And if so what is the best way to proceed?

Thanks all.

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If you hover your mouse over the status (neutral, guarded, hostile etc.) of each AI in the diplo menu or in the diplo screen you will see which positive (green) and negative (red) modifiers you have with each AI and you will know why they currently don't like you.

There are things you can do to gain some green modifiers that will offset the red ones and gradually repair the relationships. It's easier though, to give you pointers about what you've done wrong diplomatically, if you post what modifiers you got.

If you get "they covet land that you own", you've settled in territory they would have liked to expand into.

On chieftain it's very likely another reason is that you beat the AI to many Wonders.

If you've gone to war (without being attacked), it's likely you get negative modifiers for having gone to war against an AI's friend.

Many of those modifiers will fade over time and your relationships will be better again if you do nothing new to further anger them.

Means by which you can rebuild the relationship include offering trade deals to the AI (for strategic resources or luxuries, or to open their borders). If they're quite angry, they might flatly refuse any deal and you'll have to wait until they're in a better mood. If it's paramount for some reason that you get a better relationship, you might even gift them something. Going to war together against a common foe is another way to build a relationship with a specific Civ. You can get a bonus if you denounce a Civ they also have denounced (but you will also get a negative modifier with the civs that are friend with the one you denounce).

In my diety games.. no one ever like me.. EVER.

Sorry man, it's part of the game. One thing to remember in this game is that no one is really your friend, no matter how many DOFs you have.

The AI doesn't like it when you take spots the AI wanted. The AI tends to expand until there isn't really room to expand anymore, especially the AI's that are geared to that strategy (Hiawatha and Alexander are notable for this).

I see you have two wars going. Did you start them? Did you take any cities? Remember that when you take a city, you massacre half of its population; mass murder is generally frowned upon, so you have to give your potential allies reasons to turn the other way. This means trade routes and trade agreements. It helps if you do this with the guys that aren't too spiteful to begin with; you want AI's that both enjoy a good war and tend to be loyal to fellow warmongers. Harald Bluetooth and Shaka are the two best examples of this type of character. On the flip side, Washington is a big time warmonger who also hates warmongers! It's more difficult to get him to stay on your side than not, and because he's so good at war he's also a legitimate threat if he ever does betray you.

In short, diplomacy takes a lot of game knowledge. It's something you're going to have to learn if you want to get better at the game, and it's one of the trickier and less reliable mechanics, but it is possible. If I can play a Freedom mongering Venice, wipe out England and assist in wiping out the Inca leaving an Autocratic Greece as the only other civ on the continent and still never enter a war with Alexander for the duration of the game, then you too can learn how to make friends and influence people.

That second thing is more important though.

Who cares at Chieftain? Just go slap them some - cheeky AI whiners! Your post has inspired me, I may go back and play a game at Chieftain just so I can be thoroughly anti-social...

EK834 said:

If you get "they covet land that you own", you've settled in territory they would have liked to expand into..

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This can't be the only defining parameter triggering this message as I have received the message when I only had my capital.

Regarding the OP, it's a catch-22. Doing things that make your civilization better and facilitate winning the game makes other civilizations dislike you more, reducing the advantages they provide to you (mostly RAs and increased trade values.)

-Taking a capital progresses you towards domination victory, diplomacy suffers.
-Building wonders adds tremendous value in number of ways, diplomacy suffers.
-Adding cities gives more production, research through pop, etc., diplomacy suffers.
-Spreading your religion adds to founder values, if they have one, diplomacy suffers.
-Tile purchasing in contested territory, even if you founded your city first and they are the ones who are encroaching, ensures you get what you came for, diplomacy suffers

If you want to make people like you, try really, really hard to not do anything that might assist you in winning the game.

On a less pessimistic note, I find diplomacy to be one aspect of the game that's easier on higher difficulty levels, as you aren't building as many wonders if any at all, not able to expand as much before they land-grab, and usually spend more time in an arms race with a neighbor instead of just wiping them out at your first whim.

-Allied to a city state even before the other AI found it, diplomacy suffers.

On a side note, Shaka will always covet your lands, regardless of whether he's seen it or not.
Edit: Unless you have random personalities on. I had a Shaka once who was more upset I got to a wonder first than coveting my lands.

Since you're playing G&K it's either because there is contested borders or you don't have a big enough military. I suspect it's the military thing as it's nearly impossible in G&K to field a large army early on(when the AI can).

DarthSheldonPhD said:

This can't be the only defining parameter triggering this message as I have received the message when I only had my capital.

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Which you settled in a spot rich in resources that the nearby AIs want... creating border tensions. It doesn't take more, it's not just about forward settling.

Haha I'm a total warmongering powerhouse and everyone loves me

Sturmgewher88mm said:

Haha I'm a total warmongering powerhouse and everyone loves me

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I think i've run into that before.. it's when the Civ's position towards you is "Afraid"