cyther
Lord of the Dance
Wow, I didn't think we would ever see that story. I can still see how it relates to the cave of ancestors scenario.
So, just checking from a noob writer standpoint.
One is completely free to make up what ever one wants as long as it fits with the general FFH story and can post it in this forum. And it will be added here?
I just want to check since I am working on a nice story for FFH and thought I post it in this forum if thats ok.
I mean, you don't have to be a team member or something to post stories here right?
No, you do not need to be a member of the FfH team to have your stories added to the first post. You must be a team member for it to be under the Canonical section, but not the (far larger) Non-Canonical section.
Adventure begins
Spoiler :
After the teleportation spell mishap I found myself in the middle of Jubilee. Now you would think I would be frightened, however I can assure you I have done far more dangerous things during my time as an adept. My time as an adept also told me that I shouldnt return to Cevedes. So instead of returning home I decided to tour the city instead.
Now when you imagine a Balseraph carnival you think of a ridiculously over budget city wide celebration that has absolutely no point what so ever. After actually going to Jubilee and seeing this, I can confirm that this is in fact an extremely accurate description. Every inch of the town has music playing all the time, and the smell of roasted pork is infused with(in) the air, and multicoloured tents littered the streets, each holding its own individual wonder.
However it is important not to underestimate the dangers of these celebrations. I myself got into several different dangers whilst in Jubilee. Thankfully I was lucky enough not too get killed during these mishaps. However after one night when I woke up nude in the gutter with a mark on my rear that smelt of bananas (this dues be the question of how he smelt his own rear), I decided it was time to get a bodyguard.
- Extract from 'Travels of an Amurite mage', Vol.I,
by Baron Evans (Torolerial Press)
Baron walked past the various tents and stalls of Jubilees never ending carnival. Hed been in the town for about a week now and still wasnt bored of the endless amounts of amusements and food he found at every street corner. However today instead of aimless wandering Baron knew precisely where he was going.
Brushing off the dirt on his newly brought robes he made his way past the various ridiculously dressed Balseraph citizens. He stopped by one of the stalls quickly to buy a small packet of roasted nuts and continued forward into the market square (which was) filled with stalls and entertainers of all kinds. Twisting through the tight spaces between the stalls, Baron made his way across the market square and into the alleyways.
The alleyways were just as festive as the rest of the city. The music could still be heard and the smell of roasted pork, nuts and all manner of foodstuffs still had a strong presence in the air. However the festive colours became darker, slowly prostitutes filled the corners and occasionally the smell of hot flesh could be smelt alongside a scream of pain and pleasure. Baron quickly got out of the alleyways by forcing his skinny body through a hole in a wall. He quickly brushed his brown hair and made his way down to his destination.
When Baron got there he was shocked how large the crowds were. Groups of people littered the district, all of them crowding around stands where merchants showed off their latest ware, slaves.
Baron joined one smaller crowd surrounding a stand that had four young elven women huddled together in sheer fright as an extremely large and repulsive man brought them. As they where forced of the stage the slaver shouted towards the crowd.
Now people I have a treat for you today! All the way from the Aquill Tundra we have one of a wildmen of the Doviello!
Pulling him on by a rope tied around his wrists, two men led the wildman onto the stage. He was huge, muscular and heavily scared. His captors didnt give him the privilege of clothes, his naked body was put on display for the audience to see. The wildman stared at the potential buyers with a hateful glare. The people stared at his almost grey complexion and hair with fright.
Right people! I am offering you one of the fearsome warriors of the Doviello, perfectly suitable for the arena dont you think? the slaver said whilst (whats up with the whilst's?) tapping the man on the shoulder.
Suddenly the wildman quickly forced the merchant into a headlock despite his hands being bound. The slaver squealed with fear as wildman forced him to his knees, at which point he snapped his neck in front of the audience. Some people ran away at this point, whilst others looked on with fear. A smaller, skinner person next to the stage then shouted out.
Could someone just please take this monster of our hands?!
The crowd stayed silent, not wanting to infuriate the wildman further. They stared as the wildman kicked the corpse of the slaver he just killed off the stage and in front of them. At which point Baron shouted out, Ill take him.
Okay heres the first little bit of what I hope will be a long running series. If anyone could be as generous as to provide some constructive criticism via a private message that would be great.
Adventure begins
Spoiler :
After the teleportation spell mishap I found my self in the middle of Jubilee. Now you would think I would be frightened, however I can assure you I have done far more dangerous things during my time as an adept. My time as an adept also told me that I shouldnt return to Cevedes. So instead of returning home I decided to tour the city instead.
Now when you imagine a Balseraph carnival you think of a ridiculously over budget city wide celebration that has absolute no point what so ever. After actually going to Jubilee and seeing this, I can confirm that this is in fact an extremely accurate description. Every inch of the town has music playing all the time, and the smell of roasted pork is infused with the air, and multicoloured tents littered the streets, each holding its own individual wonder.
However it is important not to underestimate the dangers of these celebrations. I myself got into several different dangers whilst in Jubilee. Thankfully I was lucky enough not too get killed during these mishaps. However after one night when I woke up nude in the gutter with a mark on my rear that smelt of bananas, I decided it was time to get a bodyguard.
- Extract from 'Travels of an Amurite mage', Vol.I,
by Baron Evans (Torolerial Press)
Baron walked past the various tents and stalls of Jubilees never ending carnival. Hed been in the town for about a week now and still wasnt bored of the endless amounts of amusements and food he found at every street corner. However today instead of aimless wandering Baron knew precisely where he was going.
Brushing of the dirt on his newly brought robes he made his way past the various ridiculously dressed Balseraph citizens. He stopped by one of the stalls quickly to buy a small packet of roasted nuts and continued forward into the market square filled with stalls and entertainers of all kinds. Twisting through the tight spaces between the stalls, Baron made his way across the market square and into the alleyways.
The alleyways were just as festive as the rest of the city. The music could still be heard and the smell of roasted pork, nuts and all manner of foodstuffs still had a strong presence in the air. However the festive colours became darker, slowly prostitutes filled the corners and occasionally the smell of hot flesh could be smelt alongside a scream of pain and pleasure. Baron quickly got out of the alleyways by forcing his skinny body through a hole in a wall. He quickly brushed his brown hair and made his way down to his destination.
When Baron got there he was shocked how large the crowds where. Groups of people littered the district, all of them crowding around stands where merchants showed off their latest ware, slaves.
Baron joined one smaller crowd surrounding a stand that had four young elven women huddled together in sheer fright as an extremely large and repulsive man brought them. As they where forced of the stage the slaver shouted towards the crowd.
Now people I have a treat for you today! All the way from the Aquill Tundra we have one of a wildmen of the Doviello!
Pulling him on using rope tied around his wrists, two men led the wildman onto the stage. He was huge, muscular and heavily scared. His captors didnt give him the privilege of clothes, his naked body was put on display for the audience to see. The wildman stared at the potential buyers with a hateful glare. The people stared at his almost grey complexion and hair with fright.
Right people! I am offering you one of the fearsome warriors of the Doviello, perfectly suitable for the arena dont you think? the slaver said whilst tapping the man on the shoulder.
Suddenly the wildman quickly forced the merchant into a headlock despite his hands being bound. The slaver squealed with fear as wildman forced him to his knees, at which point he snapped his neck in front of the audience. Some people ran away at this point, whilst others looked on with fear. A smaller skinner person next to the stage then shouted out.
Could someone just please take this monster of our hands?!
The crowd stayed silent, not wanting to infuriate the wildman further. They stared as the wildman kicked the corpse of the slaver he just killed off the stage and in front of them. At which point Baron shouted out, Ill take him.
You know when I asked for criticism I never thought you off all people would actually take the time to do so . Thank you for the advice, Ill keep all of that in mind in future writing.