My friend has been murdered

I've just heard that a recent friend of mine has been found dead.

Apparently she witnessed another murder, went on the run and was found yesterday with every bone in her body smashed.

Any advice? What should I do?

How should I feel? Right now I don't feel anything... got a million thoughts through my head but I don't FEEL anything...

I can't give you any advice except...

Prepare for emotional HELL!

talk to her family ( if you know where and how ) think how they feel

Woah, I'm not sure what to say. Someone from my school was murdered last year, but I didn't really know him....

I second pawpaw's suggestion, of course.

I've never known anyone who was murdered or has murdered (I think). If it had to do with organized crime, the best thing you could do is keep your mouth shut. Especialy do not post on the internet. Well, I'm paranoid. But in times like these it doesen't pay to be a hero.

I have thought and what i said was stupid and NOT GOOD, i have suffered from death in very close family but i can see the difference between that and a friend...
Talk to her family and see what its like for them, then you'll relise (if you are feeling emotional pains) that you are in fact "getting it easy"...
Also don't spread it, especially around the internet, for personal safety and because you just don't spread that kind of thing. Its very, ummmm, i've forgotten the word but just don't do it.
Sorry if i soud harsh but i have reasons.

Thankyou.

OMG... every bone? Any news links?

No one can really tell you what to feel, considering there is no "right" way to feel. Most likely youve gone into self-protection mode which is why you arent feeling anything. You are going through a huge loss and its not entirely wrong to want to protect yourself from the pain while its still so very fresh. Understand that it will hit you, or at least understand that you might not feel the visceral pain of grief at the moment but you are indeed suffering it. Dont expect anything of yourself just work through your thoughts as you have the clarity to think them.

It happened to me once. He wasn't a close friend but I talked to him in parties and such. I was affected by it, not because I missed the guy, but because it was the first time that I faced the reality that people DO die sometimes, and that it can happen to anybody. Then with time I stopped thinking about it.

I dont think there is a wrong way to feel. And if you dont feel bad about it you shouldn't feel guilty either. Death is harder on some people then on other.

I don't have any advice, but I have to say how sorry I am. I can't imagine what it must be like for friends and family. My thoughts are with you.

That is *not cool* - you mean she was beaten to death with something? Geeze, give me a bullet anyday! That's horrible!

I usually don't "feel" much for a few days at least after stuff like that either. It'll take a little bit for it to sink in. If you know who or why, you can tell the cops anonymously. Unless you think it's a gang or organized crime thing, then you don't do anything.

For a Christian:

If you ever feel you need emotional support you can always:

PRAY!

Ask God to help you deal with the cicumstance, and pray that you can accept His Will! God will never send you anything that's too hard for you to deal with, if you ever feel that way. Prayer is key, use it whenever you need it.

CL, first of all, sorry about your friend. What sort of relationship if any, did she have with the person she saw murdered? Has the person who committed the original murder that she witnessed been caught yet, or at least his/her identity known? Was this girl a very close friend of yours?

CruddyLeper said:

I've just heard that a recent friend of mine has been found dead. Apparently she witnessed another murder, went on the run and was found yesterday with every bone in her body smashed.

Any advice? What should I do? How should I feel? Right now I don't feel anything... got a million thoughts through my head but I don't FEEL anything...

Click to expand...

I've had two classmates murdered & another who died unexpectedly, and as of last week had a fourth - the one closest to me - killed in Iraq. I won't say I can understand what you're going through, because every situation is different - but maybe I can give a little advice.

For starters, grieve. If you're sad - cry. If you're angry - scream. The main thing here is to face your emotions & let them out. Now don't do anything foolish, but certainly don't bottle them up. It sounds like right now you aren't sure what to do and maybe are in shock a bit. That's okay. It will hit you soon enough, and it will be hard. Just remember, she was your friend. Don't start worrying about how you treated her - that's in the past. If she was your friend, then you were her's. That's a common thing for people to do, while they try to avoid the situation at hand.

If you need to talk to someone, do so. It's a good way to vent your emotions. Others who knew her are good to speak to, but try to also find someone who didn't know her. Trading memories is good, but just speaking your mind to someone willing to listen is very helpful. Beyond that, just be honest with yourself. Don't put your life on hold, but certainly take plenty of time to get through things. Life's not always fair - and this is one of the biggest examples - but you still need to move on. It's like they say - you go through stages. Just take it one step at a time.

CruddyLeper said:

I've just heard that a recent friend of mine has been found dead.

Apparently she witnessed another murder, went on the run and was found yesterday with every bone in her body smashed.

Any advice? What should I do?

How should I feel? Right now I don't feel anything... got a million thoughts through my head but I don't FEEL anything...

Click to expand...

Find out who did it and kill them.

I'm sorry to hear about this, that's absolutely horrible.

John HSOG said:

Find out who did it and kill them.

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To paraphrase "A life for a life will leave the whole world dead." And if this has to do with organized crime, then he'll probably just get killed in the attempt anyway.

To be honest man, I don't know what advice to give you. Talk to a pastor, or a pschologist about it so it doesn't get pent up inside.

sourboy said:

For starters, grieve. If you're sad - cry. If you're angry - scream. The main thing here is to face your emotions & let them out. Now don't do anything foolish, but certainly don't bottle them up. It sounds like right now you aren't sure what to do and maybe are in shock a bit. That's okay. It will hit you soon enough, and it will be hard. Just remember, she was your friend. Don't start worrying about how you treated her - that's in the past. If she was your friend, then you were her's. That's a common thing for people to do, while they try to avoid the situation at hand.

If you need to talk to someone, do so. It's a good way to vent your emotions. Others who knew her are good to speak to, but try to also find someone who didn't know her. Trading memories is good, but just speaking your mind to someone willing to listen is very helpful.

Click to expand...

the best advice so far--no set " plan " for this, everyones differant

Gosh. That's awful...

that happened to me once, in fact some years ago, within 3 months, my brother moved far away, my best friend moved to spain, and 3 people i knew died (2 of them murdered!

1 of them was my friend, he was stabbed and killed for a measly sum of money, like about 3000 us dollar...

which is really weird, in my part of the world, in my city theres maybe 1 murder every year tops!

that was a weird time...

you should feel better in a year or so

my condolences

This is why we need an FBI type organisation in the U.K. I think we are going to get one but who knows?