The meek shall inherit the Earth. Warlord No military Domination

This game is to mark my 1000th post, which should come up somewhere along the line as I'm writing this.

Settings:
Pangea, 80% water
Standard size
Normal, temperate, 5 billion
No barbs
Normal AI agressiveness
No SGLs
5 preset rivals:


INDEX:

Chapter 1 - 4000 BC Warrior Code won’t do us any good

Chapter 2 - 2750 BC Jeeves aims to please

Chapter 3 - 2430 BC Workers go walkabout

Chapter 4 - 1725 BC Order up some silk pyjamas and take over the world

Chapter 5 - 1275 BC Philosophizing about Philosophy

Chapter 6 - 1275 BC Shiny happy AIs

Chapter 7 - 1225 BC Ample outhouse facilities and bribes to the Vikings

Chapter 8 - 1075 BC Brennus dreams of pointy buildings

Chapter 9 - 800 BC Let’s research the Matrix (AKA Polytheism)

Chapter 10 - 730 BC All Met all AIs, Jeeves objects to tourism

Chapter 11 - 450 BC Brennus gives iron to the Vikings. Scandinavians talk funny

Chapter 12 - 350 BC Jeeves grows a spine

Chapter 13 - 250 BC Spam the lot of ‘em, the ICS strategy to gain land starts

Chapter 14 - 10 AD We won’t sit behind rhetorical gates, send out the combat settlers, just in case...

Chapter 15 - 230 AD The AI calls it a day

230 AD Pics of AI territories, endgame

Epilogue - 230 AD We’re living in the ADs



The year was 4000 BC and Brennus was chosen to be the leader of his people. His nomadic Celts told him they were ready to settle down, but Brennus was wise for his years and told them to pack up and start walking. "It may take a couple of hundred years, but we need to find better lands before we settle."

The great march across the plains started and Brennus was well chuffed when his scouting worker crew reported back that there were wheat fields to the south.
Brennus, ever the perfectionist, didn't want to settle near the flood plains, though. It was only in 3850BC that his weary people were allowed to stop and setup camp for the Celts' first town, Entremont:


Brennus' advisors somewhat surprisingly suggested training a group of warriors for "exploration and homeland security." "They can also help us if barbarians attack."
Brennus contemplated this and then made the decision that would seal his people's faith for centuries to come: "I don't believe there exists such a thing as barbarians. There's just higher and lower degrees of enlightenment. We shall bring peace and understanding to this world, not war and hatred."
"What a pompous ass", thought his advisors. "We won't last long without military."

"The meek shall inherit the earth", said Brennus.
"The meek shall probably inherit a world of pain", his advisor muttered. They thought they had made a poor leader choice. After being forced to walk through the wilderness for what seemed like eons, sitting defenseless in their town seemed unwise, but Brennus was the Chief and his word law.
"Let's train another band of nomads that can set up another Celtic town", Brennus thought aloud.
"The more, the merrier." His advisors were getting rather sardonistic now.
"And learn how to read and write."
"Why not, it's not like Warrior Code will do us any good..."

In 3150 BC a merry band of travellers knocked on Brennus' door.
"Where would you want us to go? We don't know much about the lands around us."
"Well, there are cows to the northeast. You may as well go that way so we can get ourselves some milk."
"You're the boss, Brennus."
Brennus turned to his advisors: "Yes, I am the boss. What were you saying about training warriors?"
"Ah, perhaps we could suggest another worker crew instead?"
"Alright, then. Thank you."

A couple of hundred years later, in 3000BC, a worker crew was readily trained and sent to a nearby forest to harvest it.
Brennus was getting impatient with his advisors:
"I don't want to hear another word about warrior bands! You may start the work on a food stooring device and then I want to see more settler wagons."
"Just..."
"BZZZ!"
"But..."
"MPP!"
"Whatever."

In 2950, Alesia was founded and started training a worker crew:


Brennus looked at his little empire and thought that all was good. He wondered whether his advisors may have had a point with regards to training military. He then thought about why he had advisors at all. They seemed to disagree with him on everything and since he was the Chief and all he said was law, he couldn't help think that advisors were a waste of space.

In 2750BC a junior advisor appeared before Brennus, looking rather concerned:
"Pardon me for interfering, Sir, but we'll be wasting food in Alesia if we continue with the worker build there."
"What? Waste food? No-no-no-no-no! We need to switch the training in Alesia."
"If I could be so bold as to make a suggestion: We could make a settler band instead."
"Ah, thank you. I thought I'd be getting more nonsense about military now."
"Certainly not, Sir. I agree wholeheartedly with your no military approach."
"That's all good ,then. What's your name, boy?"
"I'm Jeeves, Sir."
"Thank you, Jeeves."
"I aim to please, Sir."

cool story please continue

2430 BC Brennus got a message that one of the worker crews were getting bored. These were after all young men and women who were cut out for doing warrior tasks, whatever they were. Brennus thought long and hard about the problem and then decided: "let them go walkabout."
"Walk a what?", his regular band of advisors objected. "Shouldn't they do worker tasks when they're workers?"
"JEEVES!"
Appearing silently and rather suddenly to Brennus from behind the throne, the young man stepped up with that blissful look of feudal servitude on his face.
"You hollered mylord?"
"Yes, Jeeves. Thank you, Jeeves." Brennus was a little stumped as his favourite advisor (indeed the only one he liked at all) had a way of appearing out of the blue. It almost frightened him. He pulled himself together: "What do you know about walkabouts Jeeves?"
"Walkabout refers to the belief of non-indigenous Barbarians that other Barbarians were prone to "go walkabout", meaning that they would stop doing their jobs and wander through the bush for weeks at a time, Sir." "It's a humorous term these days, Sir."
"There you go." Brennus again turned to his more senior advisors. "Let them go walkabout."
*Sigh* "Very well, Sir."
The scouting worker crew decided to go south and after another 80 years, they met with Brennus' first friend and neighbour, the lady Theodora of the Byzantines. Having been given authority to do business on behalf of the Celtic people, the workers traded away the secrets of Pottery and Ceremonial Burial and got Bronze Working in return.


In 2070 BC the restless workers met with Portugal and their benevolant leader, Henry.

Lugdudnum was founded in 1990:


Meanwhile 3 settlers were on their way south by the Byzantian border:


In 1725BC, Brennus was strolling through the gardens of Entremont Cave (his people still had doubts about his leadership and hadn't offered to build him a palace yet).
"Sir."
"What?" Brennus was confused. Was it the tree speaking to him or the bird he'd been observing, sitting in the tree? "Hark there, lark?", he tried.
"It is I, Sir." Jeeves stepped out from behind the tree.
"Thank goodness it's you, Jeeves. You nearly had me beliving the tree was speaking too me."
Jeeves raised an eyebrow, obviously concerned for his Chief's mental well being. "No, Sir. I have nothing in common with this common spicies of horticulture." Jeeves indicated the tree with the flat of his hand.
"Good. Thank you, Jeeves. Ever informative, you are." His mind turned elsewhere and left Jeeves, as it were, figuratively speaking, high and very dry.
"Ahem." Jeeves cleared his throat.
"Caught a cold?"
"No, Sir. I was attempting to catch your attention in a mild manner, Sir."
"Ah, yes. Carry on then."
"Well, Sir. I think we need to develop a scheme for this world."
"A scheme you say?"
"Yes, Sir. Or a plan, if you will."
"I will, I will. This has been puzzling me too", said Brennus. "What is our purpose in life. Why are we here?"
"To show to the world that our way of living is the best, Sir?"
"Yes, yes. Quite probably. But what I mean is: how?"
Jeeves looked like he had had the answer to this question for centuries. Which quite possibly was the case: "We will take over the world by settling two thirds of it under our territory."
"I see", Brennus replied. "That ought to teach them that our way is the right way. And we will do it without building any military."
"Of course, Sir."
"But how, Jeeves?"
"We should build temples to show them our culture and religion is superior to their military force."
"Smashing idea, Jeeves. Let's try it out in that new town we just founded, Verulamium. See to it at once."
"Very good, Sir. Will that be all, Sir?"
"Yes, Jeeves. Oh, order up some of those silk pyjamas you like so much. Once the silk road reaches completion, of course."

Celts 1725BC:

Very interesting & good story.
What's the difficulty?
I assume you're going for civ culture victory?

Oh and on a slightly unrelated note, read Daftpanzer's Celtic Peacekeepers, it's in one of the stickied threads (too lazy to check).



EDIT: In an "Archive of the Legendary Stories."

Thanks for your comments.
The difficulty is Warlord. I'm going for domination

I've read Daftpanzer's story. I'm not able to do his wizardry of graphics and pictures, but I hope you'll enjoy this thread anyhow. I tried to do something that I don't think I've seen done before. I was inspired to do it a long time ago by one of the late comments to this excellent thread, but it's just recently my civ skills have become good enough to try it.

Go Capt, Go!!

I like the story. I think you can write our first spoiler thread when we get there.

I shall follow this thread with great interest. Although, I have forgotten how to build anything but fast attack units!!

EDIT - Forgot a word, its in bold....

The year was 1500BC and Brennus took place at the top of the table that was now used for cabinet meetings (Brennus thought cabinet meetings was a great idea until Jeeves had pointed out that it didn't involve scouring the kitchen for stuff to eat).
"Good news", his science advisor stated. "We know the secret of Code of Laws. We don't know what's it good for because you said we're not building any courthouses anyway, but there you are."
"I don't recall ordering research on Code of Laws", Brennus looked around the room tentatively.
Jeeves? His voice was almost a whisper as he craned his neck, this way and that, trying to spot the man stepping out of the thin air.
"Sir?" The voice came, somewhat unexpectedly because Brennus had learnt to expect these things to happen, but still a little nerveracking because Brennus had begun wondering whether Jeeves could make himself invisible; from a seat at the far end of the table. Brennus was sure he'd checked the faces of all the seated advisors, but Jeeves seemed to have a knack of appearing and disappearing as it suited himself.
"Ah, there you are. Could we please do a roll call at these meetings so we know everyone has arrived and isn't sneaking up on anyone?" His attempt at sarcasm bounced off Jeeves like barbarians at the gate (in most instances ).
"Yes, Sir. That would be very proper. An utterly sound suggestion, if I may say so."
Someone coughed something that sounded a lot like kissass, but Brennus decided to let it go. He didn't want to tick Jeeves off in front of the other ministers, but the fact remained that the fellow was often a little too eager to please.
"I can't recall ordering up this Code of Laws business, Jeeves."
"No, Sir. You went on your bi-millenial holiday in the 1800s so I took the liberty of telling your science advisor you had made the decision."
"YOU DIRTY LITTLE..." The science advisor only got so far. But he remained blood red in his cheeks for the rest of the meeting and wouldn't speak to Jeeves for some centuries.
"They were going to start experimenting on the use of strange materials", Jeeves interupted. He made a lovely dramatic pause and then continued: "...for military units..."
"MILITARY?" It was Brennus turn to turn mauve in the face and shout.
"All is well", Sir. "We've got Code of Laws", haven't we?
"Yes, but MILITARY?" "This won't do at all. Jeeves, you are from now on second in command. Come sit at this end of the table." Brennus, in addition to holding his new Vice Chief in high respect and thinking this promotion was a long time coming, had got the shrewd idea that if Jeeves was sitting in the seat next to him, he, Jeeves, was less likely to startle him, Brennus, at the next cabinet meeting.
"Thank you, Sir. Most kind of you, Sir." Jeeves smiled the smile that Brennus thought was the look of geniality while all his other advisors agreed it was the smile of a lunatic. This was a man who not only worked for Brennus, but actually encouraged him to keep going. "Take over the world", they mocked in the quiet corners of the advisories or wherever advisors live and work. "We've been around for 2500 years and still we've only got 7 towns."

After Jeeves had moved around the table (at lightning speed, yet barely audible) to the top end of the table and was seated beside Brennus, the proceedings started again.
Brennus had calmed down now. Perhaps it was the frown on the science advisors forehead as Jeeves rose from his chair and rose in the cabinet ranks at record speed. "We still need to do something about this military obsession of yours", Brennus pointed a finger at noone in particular of his disobediant advisors.
"I agree, there should be some sort of punishment", Jeeves added. "I suggest all advisors should think long and hard about what the meaning of life and everything is. Why we're here, what we are, what's the purpose of it all. That sort of thing."
"Excellent suggestion"; Brennus replied, gloating at the prospect of his advisors walking around with their hands on their back thinking big thoughts."
It was left to Jeeves to conclude: "Let's meet again next tuesday, or at a later date, say 1275BC, and discuss the results of this thinking process. And no silly answers, like 42."

Thus it was that in 1275BC, Brennus and his advisors gathered again to talk of science matters.
Brennus started off the meeting by ordering them to silence and asking, without much hope of getting good answers, what they had thought up.
A dozen hands shot in the air and chaos erupted.
"All matter is water."
"No, all matter is fire."
"All matter is earth and wind and fire and water."
"You're all wrong. All matter is made out of tiny particles that we can't see. Let's call them atoms."
"It doesn't matter what matter is because nothing that we can perceive in this world is real."
Brennus had had quite enough and told them so. He raised his arms: "STOP! I've had quite enough. Why do you have to make everything so dashed difficult? My, OUR" (he indicated with a hand movement that he meant all of his Celtic people) "purpose in life is to show the world we can prosper by peaceful means. Now has anyone anything to add to that particular view point?"
The noise that had subsided with Brennus' outburst, rose up again.
"ATOMS?"
"Yes, why not? It's barbaric for something you cannot divide into smaller pieces."
"Anyone can say that. "Oh, look. My new clothes are made of invisible materials, but they're so shiny and bright that they must be good clothes."
"Shove it."
"You shove it."
"Yeah, that's a real snappy comeback."

Brennus sighed and turned to Jeeves. "Please tell me I didn't waste 200 years of research just now."
"Sir, in the long run, I think this may turn to our advantage. Also, without having to constantly shepherd our scientists away from "accidently" discovering military secrets, I've been able to do some thinking myself. And I've come up with an idea or two."
"Good ideas, Jeeves?" Brennus brightened a little.
"I hope you'll find them so, Sir."
"Well, let's hear them then."
"Firstly Sir, may I suggest that this new method of explaining cosmos and our being here should be called philosophy.
"Philosophy." Brennus twirled his tongue around the word. Got a nice ring to it, I like it.
"Secondly, I was thinking maybe the people would be more effective in their work if we gave the impression that they had some sort of influence over the government."
"Influence? Ordinary people?" Brennus was afraid the once brilliant mind of his advisor had done a little too much excercise the past 200 years and was now burnt out. "But ordinary people are, well... ordinary. You'd never know what they'd do. They might consider..." Brennus lowered his voice: "...military."
"We won't actually give them influence over the government. They'll be quite happy if they think their opinion matters."
"Ok, that's alright too then."

That's a challenge. I like your writing style.

You'll write your 1000th post right here, won't you?

"They'll be quite happy if they think their opinion matters."

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Nice that 'think'

Nice job Brennus. And excellent comment on government today, "think" they'll have some say.

Me thinks Brennus better keep an eye on Jeeves! Seems like a little too much lipstick headed for Brennus' rump there. And those advisors could be looking to get back at Jeeves the wonderkind!

Isn't Jeeves that butler from Ask Jeeves? Great story.

1000th post

Deroute to 1325BC:
"Our fine communications system of hill criers informs us that we have met with Isabella. She's the leader of a tribe called Spain apparantly." Jeeves was rubbing his hands together. "We traded Writing for Mysticism and 24 gold from them and then traded Mysticism to our good friend Theodora for 3 gold."
"3 gold?!?", Brennus inquired. "That's less money than we loose on maintaining our buildings every 25 years. Who made that stupid deal?"
"Well, Sir. I did, Sir."
"You did, Jeeves? But why?"
"I'm most sorry, Sir. I got a little carried away as the Byzantian ambassador explained their concept of Warrior Code to me. I'm afraid that was the main part of the deal from their side."
"WHAT?" Brennus wouldn't take this sitting down, so he stood up and started pacing up and down the floor. "You, of all people, should know that we don't want that sort of technology amongst our people. What if the other advisors catch the news? I'd never hear the end of it!"
Brennus was interrupted by the noise of the front door falling off its hinges and the sound of high pitched voices crying "I'll tell him" could be heard from the corridor outside his throne room. Presently the human bundle that was Brennus' advisors, all fighting each other while surprisingly moving towards him, entered the room and broke what only the most inaccurate storyteller would now describe as 'the silence'.
"We...", one head poked out of the lot and uttered a single word before being dragged back into the scrum by a bony hand.
"must train", the next advisor got luckier and increased total word count to three before succumbing to the almost magnetic force that held the advisors pinned together.
"archers", the sentance was finished by the military advisor, who even after 2675 years of no military practice, finally managed to get the upper hand in the brawl, probably due to his unexplainable urge for lifting heavy objects in his spare time.
Brennus turned to Jeeves: "You told them?"
"Assuredly not, Sir. I'm thinking the Byzantine ambassador may have had too much beer to celebrate the transaction yesterday."
"Of course. That would explain it too."
The advisors, who one after the other felt silly that they were still fighting while there wasn't much to fight about, finally subsided into a panting and wheezing, yet still indiscernable mass of bodies on the floor.
Brennus didn't wait for them to catch their breath.
"We will not train archers. I told you I didn't want to hear another word about military."
*pant* *wheeze* "Warrior bands. You said Warrior bands. We thought maybe it was the smell you didn't like. And anyway it was worth a try. We've met 3 other tribes and we're weak compared to all of them."
"We're strong in the mind." Brennus said.
"That's not fair! You're doing that new thing. The science thing we're working on at the moment."
Brennus had no idea what this meant, but shrugged it off. "Point is", he said, "we're not going to make any military, at all, ever. Capice?"
"We understand, Sir." "Right to the very end, Sir." "Eh, except for the very end, that is, Sir."
Brennus decided to take the fatherly approach: "Well, as long as you understood all the rest of it." He honestly couldn't say what made him utter that word. It just seemed like the right thing to say at such a time.

In 1300 BC, the Celts met with Ragnar and the Vikings. They got The Wheel and 10 gold for Ceremonial Burial and Pottery. Then the Vikings wanted Mysticism, which they got along with Writing in exchange for Horseback Riding and Masonry.

Foreign affairs, 1275 BC, Shiny happy AI:


"Military" 1275BC:

Tribute said:

Isn't Jeeves that butler from Ask Jeeves? Great story.

Click to expand...

Jeeves is the butler in the stories about Jeeves and Wooster by P.G. Wodehouse. Hilarious and my story is so far () much influenced by those stories.

Good story. It's gonna be a challenge to win with no military. If anyone ever declares, they'll never stop!

Lord_Iggy said:

It's gonna be a challenge to win with no military. If anyone ever declares, they'll never stop!

Click to expand...

Agreed. Just make sure everyone stays as happy as they are right now.

On the 1000th post Capt.

A pleasure to read as well.

Poor Brennus, he sounds like me talking to my kids, especially when I say something they don't want to hear!

Has Brennus given the order to begin the raising of Temples and Libraries, those building that provide spiritual health and food for thought for the mind?

Keep up the good work.

I am very interested to see how you're gonna do this.

There was a foreshadowy comment in there about "Brennus didn't know why he'd said it, it just seemed the best thing at the time." Now what could thaaaaaaaaaat mean?

seeems nice.
will follow.
nice story too.

very cool and good story love the hints at Monty Python's work!