# The HEhe HAha Joke Thread #

Abaddon · Sep 21, 2005

Simply post a short joke

An English,Irish and a Scottish man walk into a bar.
"Whats this?" says the bar tender. "a joke?"

I have since come to understand a lot of you dont get this. The point that there is a fine tradition of mildly racist jokes, generally about how the three react to unusual circumstances.

E.G.

An English,Irish and a Scottish man come across a magic lamp, they rub it and suddenly they are placed at the top of a slide along with a big blue genie. The genie tells them

"go down the slide calling out your wish, when you reach the bottom it will be granted"

So the Irish man jumps-

"WeeeEEeeeeeE!" he screams in delight as he goes down.

He lands in a vat of wee.

The English and Scot's man see this and double over laughing.

The Scot slips!

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

You can imagine what happened at the bottom there!

The english man thinks about it,

"BEEEEEEEEEEER!"

thetrooper · Sep 21, 2005

Huh?

farting bob · Sep 21, 2005

A man walks into a bar. he orders a drink and has a merry evening.
the end.

IglooDame · Sep 21, 2005

Try these: http://forums.civfanatics.com/forumdisplay.php?f=21

Cuivienen · Sep 21, 2005

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

Two men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

Five men walk into a bar. The sixth one ducks.

...

All right, they're old. But so are threads like this.

Abaddon · Sep 21, 2005

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath?

one has hope in her soul

Ultima Dragoon · Sep 22, 2005

What's the newest stupid invention?
A solar-powered night-bomber

Okay, that was lame :sad:

Truronian · Sep 22, 2005

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

(no offense to any dyslexic people)

puglover · Sep 22, 2005

Truronian said:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra

(no offense to any dyslexic people)

Would a dyslexic person be able to read your joke? :mischief:

Abaddon · Sep 22, 2005

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pirate
Doctor: In that case, I'd better examine your chest
Patient: To see if I've caught something nasty?
Doctor: No, to see if it's full of treasure

LLXerxes · Sep 22, 2005

How do you stop a Polish Tank? Shoot the guys pushing it
How do you get a Polish plane to the ground? Cut the strings.
How do you sink a Polish ship? Put it in water.

How do you get everybody'sattention in Mexico? Roll a quarter down the street.
How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Find the person who got the quarter.

Ultima Dragoon · Sep 22, 2005

Getting a little racy there, LLxerxes... but they're good

How do you confuse a stupid person?
Put 'em in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Corny, I know.

MattII · Sep 23, 2005

How do you sink an Aussie sub? Knock on the hatch.
An Irishman built a bridge across the Nullabor Plain but it was pulled down because too many Aussies were fishing from it.

cidknee · Sep 23, 2005

a nun runs out of a doctos office. NOOOOOOOOO she screams running out crying.
Nurse looks at her, looks at doctor and says, WTH? Whys she crying?
Doctor says I told her shes pregnant.
Nurse says What? She is not.
Doc says I know, sure cured her hiccups though.

Truronian · Sep 23, 2005

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Voted funniest joke in the world.

nonconformist · Sep 23, 2005

There's a man. He's from the Czech republic.
One day, he decides to go on holiday, and goes and stays in America, witha lawyer friend.
Well, on day, they're walking in the woods. Strangely enough, they come across two bears.
"Now that" the American says "is a male, and there is a fe-ARRRRRRGHR!"
No sooner than he starts talking, that the Czech is pounced upon by the male bear, and promptly eaten.
Howver, the Ameircan, despite his fear, can hear the Czech calling for help from inside the bear.
The American runs as quick as he can, and comes across a park ranger, with a rifle.
"Come quickly" he gasps "my friend has been eaten by a bear".
So they travel back, to where these two beras are.
"He's in the male, on the left".
No sooner does he say this, than the ranger sdhoots the female dead.
"You idiot! I told you he was in the other bear!"
"Yeah, but did you ever believe a lawyer when he said the Czech eas in the male?"

Abaddon · Sep 23, 2005

lol @ non.. tho that typo at the end was a little annoying!

Pyrite · Sep 23, 2005

So one day little timmy goes up to his mom and says "mommy I know what I want to be when I grow up. A fireman!" Little Timmy's mother looks at him sadly and replies, "Honey, you're not going to grow up, you have terminal cancer."

Q what kind of drink would a fish buy at a bar?
A Well, it's unlikely that a fish COULD actually go to a bar, bars usually not being underwater, and even if the fish could flop it's way into a bar, it's unlikely that he would have any paper currency which the bartender would accept as payment.

EuropeanFury · Sep 23, 2005

Truronian said:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Voted funniest joke in the world.

lmfao

Ultima Dragoon · Sep 24, 2005

MattII said:
How do you sink an Aussie sub? Knock on the hatch.
An Irishman built a bridge across the Nullabor Plain but it was pulled down because too many Aussies were fishing from it.

How do you beat a maori team?
Show up.

What's the harka?
What maori's do when they need to go to the toilet.

#~~ The HEhe HAha Joke Thread ~~#

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# The HEhe HAha Joke Thread #