Love: A War Story

Moss

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A short little story I wrote today in my boredom...feel free to read as always. :)

Love
Written by TM

Colonel Aman stood at the wall of the city looking out on the plains below. All looked peaceful and quiet; almost beautiful, but over a hill ten or so miles out, his scouts told him of the oncoming assault of what looked to be half of a hundred thousand soldiers supported by two or three regiments of tanks. His mind could already hear the boots of the soldiers beating to the tune of destruction. Once the enemy reached the gates of the city, and infiltrated the walls, the battle would be over. He had to keep them away; he had to stay their onslaught.

“It looks like our fighters have intercepted their air support. That’s a small victory captain,” the commander standing beside him said.

“It won’t be enough, not if they break the walls. We’re outnumbered five to one. Our only hope now is our firepower; our secret weapon.”

“You really mean to use that, sir?” the commander asked.

“Yes, it’s our only hope of fending off the savages. Now is the time too, while they are still a little ways from the city. Give the command.”

“It shall be done Colonel.”

Aman watched the field commander, his friend of fifty years, walk towards the command post. Moments later he heard the weapon fire, a flash of light blinded him, and all went dark.
_____

Sergeant Anderson walked through the battlefield, his head throbbing and legs aching. Blood dripped from wounds that covered his body. He tried to wipe himself off with his hands, but his sweat made the blood a muddy substance that clung to surface of his skin. People lay dead for as far as his eyes could see. Arms, legs, ears, and even heads crunched under his footsteps as if they had been thrown about indiscriminately. Anderson did all he could not to trip and fall. No one remained alive. No one even remain in one piece, except him.

All he could remember was a flash of light; one blinding flash and a force that had thrown him backwards and knocked him out. He woke with the sun high in the sky, roasting his body, and giving energy to the flies that seemed to think he was their lunch. He had no idea how long he had been out, and he had no idea how one flash of light could have destroyed an army of forty thousand soldiers. Even the tanks stood burning: bloody caskets for the men who had once been inside.

Their mission had been straightforward. Take the city and leave no one alive. Leave no one alive, not because they were a cruel and evil group of men, but because the men in the city were cruel and evil. They raped and pillaged, took the children they didn’t kill for slaves, and supposedly conducted strange experiments on captives. This was a war for honor, for glory, and for country, but mostly for revenge.

Victory he thought. This, our victory march, has turned into a death march. We were supposed to win. This was to be the final battle of the war. Anderson had no choice but to walk towards the city that he could not yet see and surrender. How could such a weapon exist? How could such a horror live?
_____

Colonel Aman woke to the smell of death. His eyes opened and he could see nothing but the clear blue sky as he lay on his back. The wall no longer stood. Looking around, he saw no one moving, no one alive. Every building that had once stood had fallen. Every man, even the commander who had given the order to fire, lay dead. The commander’s head had severed from his body and had rolled to a rest on Colonel Aman’s chest.

Did the weapon backfire? How could this be? Aman stood to further survey the damage. He looked out to where the enemy should have been, and saw nothing. Birds flying overhead were the only things that stirred.

“Hey, you!” Aman saw a man moving amongst the dead. “Did you see what happened?”

The man’s face showed age, and wrinkles. His clothes were torn and burned, and he walked with a limp. One leg seemed shorter than the other.

“What happened?” Aman asked again.

“Love,” the man said.

“Love? What do you mean love?”

“Love,” the man said, “is what Mohammed preached.” The old man smiled, and vanished.
_____

Anderson couldn’t believe his eyes as he came within sight of what should have been the capital city. The city no longer existed. The walls no longer stood, and no sound could be heard.

On the road leading out from the city gates, a woman walked towards him. He clothes were rags, her hair frayed, and dirt covered her face.

“Excuse me, miss, what happened?” Anderson asked.

“Love,” she said, “is what Jesus preached.”
 
ok mossy am going to be frank, i have no idea what that was about, i was getting ready for some interesting war story :)
 
Well, it's not supposed to be the most straightforward of stories.

I'd say look at it this way: this is a fictional battlefield/war (of course) but let's just assume that Aman is a believer of Islam and Anderson is a Christan, and for the point of simplicity...assume they are battle each other because of religious reasons.

Does it make more sense now: especially the point where love comes in...the last to parts...?

There's a lot more to the story than that, but maybe I was a little too open with it...
 
:hmm: So many men butchered/beheaded/killed/burnt to death and it's love?

Or do you mean it's love that keeps Anderson and Aman alive? :hmm: :hmm:
 
Look at the last two parts...

...the teachings of the two prophets...it wasn't to hate and go to war...it was peace and love.

The two armies are competing against each other...they hate each other...that goes against what they've been taught.

It's sort of a religious piece...

So, the "power" is destroying both armies...

in other words...the blast is not of this world...nor the man and woman.
 
There is a huge disconnect between the first part of the story, up to where Anderson is stumbling around, half-dead himself, and where Aman regains consciousness and asks the old man what happened. The beginning and end of the story are there, but you're missing the middle.
 
If I were Aman/Anderson, I'll grab the old man/woman by the neck and punch him/her in the nose for the next 10 minutes.

Killed all those soldiers in such violent ways, leaving a whole city of burning, beheaded and broken carcasses. Now I'll love your nose with my fist!

You'd think for an all-loving god he would use a better way to get the point across.

But you're probably right, Moss. Many gods in many religions do act that way. They're all homicidal...
 
It bears a loose ressemblance to the song One Tin Soldier.

Spoiler :
Listen, children, to a story
That was written long ago,
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley-folk below.

On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath the stone,
And the valley-people swore
They'd have it for their very own.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

So the people of the valley
Sent a message up the hill,
Asking for the buried treasure,
Tons of gold for which they'd kill.

Came an answer from the kingdom,
"With our brothers we will share
All the secrets of our mountain,
All the riches buried there."

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

Now the valley cried with anger,
"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"
And they killed the mountain-people,
So they won their just reward.

Now they stood beside the treasure,
On the mountain, dark and red.
Turned the stone and looked beneath it...
"Peace on Earth" was all it said.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.
 
You'd think for an all-loving god he would use a better way to get the point across.

But you're probably right, Moss. Many gods in many religions do act that way. They're all homicidal...
Ah but all religions are just human constructs. If anything the behavior of a god/gods is more an indication of the founding people's culture and ideals. And what they think a higher authority should be like.

The way I see it all of humanity dying off might indeed be the way to finally achieve everlasting world peace. :(
 
Interesting, I must say. But in a very " . . . " sort of way.

What do you mean by the " . . ." ? Just curious. :)

This piece has gotten some interesting reactions...some have liked it a lot...others have had no idea (as seen by this thread) what it's about.


YNCS...the reason I didn't add anything, and the reason it's structured the way it is, is because there isn't really anything I can add. This is all happening pretty much at the same time. That, and the quick transition between Anderson and Aman is what I want because I think it provides the affect I'm looking for.

Although, if I were to write it again...I may change the order around and add a few things just to smooth and maybe better explain the transition which would make it a little more straightforward, but without it being too direct (which I don't want).
 
What do you mean by the " . . ." ? Just curious.

Well, if you have seen a lot of my posts you know how much I like ellipses. In this case it means that it is unusual and I am not sure what to make of it, but it is nonetheless compelling.
 
I love it Moss, it's so simple, makes so much sense, is so emotional, and it's detailed enough but doesn't ramble. Good job!:goodjob:
 
This has been your best story/essay to date (counting the ones contained in Earless aswell), and proves that you could do well as a fantasy/fiction writer, like I suggested you to. Have faith in your writing abilities, Immelmann.

I think I might try a longer fantasy type story, but I'm not sure. It'll be like this one though...not pure fantasy, but not pure reality. I'm trying to expand my base, but I don't want to go out too far, too fast and look like a completely horrible writer. :p
 
I think I might try a longer fantasy type story, but I'm not sure. It'll be like this one though...not pure fantasy, but not pure reality. I'm trying to expand my base, but I don't want to go out too far, too fast and look like a completely horrible writer. :p


I'd read it certainly just how about we make it a little less confusing than this one? because i still dont get why love would kill them all, faith would wouldnt it? faith in the god or whatever not love in it?
 
BCLG100 said:
...because i still dont get why love would kill them all, faith would wouldnt it? faith in the god or whatever not love in it?
It's a bit of morbid irony; the armies fight each other over religious viewpoints even though both prophets preached peace.
 
Two polar opposites.
 
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