Funny Historical Quotes Thread

I don't think one of these has come up, just some regular historical quotes threads.

"We do not inherit the land from our ancestors; We steal it from those that defend it poorly." -Smoke-Jaguar

"Mr Churchill, You're drunk!" -Ms. Astor
"Yes, and you, my dear lady, are ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober." -Mr. Winston Churchill.

"If I was two faced, would I be wearing this one?" -Abe Lincoln

I really want to put a certain one in, but this will make it desecend into an idealogical riot, so I won't (make a wild guess on what it deals with).

"Fart Proudly." -- Benjamin Franklin.

There is a History forum around here, and such a thread too!

"Mmmm... 31 flavors. If only they had cabbage and vodka flavored ice creams, would be perfect!" -KGB Agent

" A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay." Demetri Martin

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." -Ronald Reagan

"The secret of creativity is to hide your sources" -Albert Einstein

"If your facts don't fit the theory, change the facts" -Albert Einstein

"I came, I saw, I despaired."

"Mr Churchill, You're drunk!" -Ms. Astor
"Yes, and you, my dear lady, are ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober." -Mr. Winston Churchill.

Click to expand...

Those Churchill / Astor convos are pretty classic

"If I were your wife I'd poison your coffee!" - Nancy Astor
"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!" - Winston Churchill

They aren't historical now but one day they will be.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

"God is dead."
- Nietzsche

"Nietzche is dead."
- God

"Nietzche is God?"

The Holy Roman Empire is neither Holy nor Roman nor an Empire
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent
Nothing is so common as to imitate one's enemies, and to use their weapons.
God created sex. Priests created marriage
François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire)

For goodness sake, get a bloody move on! To the policemen who came to arrest Fagan (who adjusted their ties on seeing her before making the arrest)
How very assuring!
In reply to a shopkeeper who said "You look awfully like the Queen"
Elizabeth II

You are like my little dog. Whenever they see you, they know I am not far behind
Reputedly said to Robert Dudley, 1st Earl of Leicester
Better to be a begger and single than a queen and married
Your master cannot be very much in love with me if he only gave up after 6 months.
To the Spanish Ambassador after hearing news upon the marriage of Philip II of Spain after giving up courting Elizabeth.

Elizabeth I