The Gavan Gluboko Pachatra (its a newspaper)

OOC: I am bored so I figured I will start up another paper. Like all other papers I have done, in the various Model Parliaments* we have had, expect it to be offbeat and irrelevant. As a matter of fact, feel free to pretend that the entire thing is fan fiction and that none of what I write is actually occurring in the game. Furthermore, don't expect me to focus on the goings on of parliament in this paper, although there will surely be stories of that nature most will be about the inhabitants of Gavan Gluboko and its surrounding areas.

*Expect it to be a little similar to the old Anti-Socialist and a lot similar to the less old Santo Banto Enwarre.


IC: Sup?

Do you guys have a jumble?

That would involve me figuring out how to make one, so no.

I would like to write an article about the Russians in Isthmus City, the brethrens of the Gavans.

lots of online puzzle makers.

@h4ppy:

What language is "Gavan Gluboko Pachatra"? It sounds like Indonesian or Malay...

Its in Russian (but the word "Pachatra" is made up since my Russian bud was offline when I had to create the name) but so people can actually read it the writing will be in English.

National News
Tomolov Dead

At 8:47 P.M. June 27, 2007, Vladimir Tomolov was discovered dead in bed at Walsilaw National Federated Hospital by his nurse. Though 78 years old, Tomolov had seemed to be in good condition just hours before his death, the cause of which remains unidentified. However, most believe that the cause of death was complications from a liver transplant, which took place earlier in the week.

Tomolov had lived a long and fulfilling life, born in Novoe Vladivostok in 1929 he was a political agitator during his youth, a time in which he was a member of several pro-Russian military movements. Over the years though he settled down and became involved in business, eventually acquiring a controlling stake in several resource based businesses including three lumber companies which eventually merged together to form the province’s largest employer ArboStat, the multinational fishing conglomerate, Gavan Fischmen, and the now defunct mining company Karbol Glubinvy.

In his free time Vladimir Tomolov was an avid gamesman who, in addition to owning the Dinamo Novoe Vladivostok and Marijak Maulers, was a semiprofessional golfer and an amateur yachtsman and fisherman. The Tomolov Trophy, given to those who perform admirably in the face of danger on the high seas, is a yearly award named in honor of Tomolov, who had once saved an opponent’s life during a yachting race.

In addition to business and sport Vladimir also had a keen eye for politics and was elected to the Provincial Ministership for an unprecedented four terms as well as serving a long stint in the national parliament where he came dangerously close to assuming the Prime Ministership on several occasions including the infamous election of 74. Alas, that last great triumph was always to elude him, whether due to allegations of corruption or to the unpopular sale of the Karbol mines, he was always one step away from his final dream.


Local News
Fire Guts Ship
Late Friday night a blaze broke out onboard the Ivan Thompson, an American freighter anchored in Gavan Gluboko harbor. It was loaded down with a cargo full of lumber when the fire broke out below decks, quickly spreading to all portions of the ship. Though the start of the fire remains a mystery it is easy to see how the fire could have spread through the ship.

There has been at least one confirmed casualty so far, with three more people reported missing. The ship’s Capitan, who was not aboard at the time, has said that there was little to be done, “once the fire spread, my crew knew it was time to get out- they did the right thing too, no use dieing in there.”

Once on the docks they were able to locate proper authorities who were then able to prevent further spread of the fire.

Unfortunately, Dock 5, the location of the blaze has since been grounded due to the fire. If efforts to tow it out are unsuccessful Dock 5 could be closed down for at least a month. Such a move would likely cause upwards of a quarter million dollars in economic damage to G.G.P.A.


Cultural News
First Sonics Opens

Last Saturday the people of Isthmus City gathered around for the grand opening of Civilitas' first Sonic Drive-In. The chain, which has undergoing steady growth in America is making its first push into the Civilitian market, making Civilitas the, Oklahoma City based, drive-in's second international location. Though the company has enjoyed good sales on opening day critics wonder if they can keep up the pace.

"Oh sure, its fine now, but who will want to go to their "drive-in" the winter when its below freezing out," said local restraunteer, Harry Zieves, "mark my words, Sonic will be gone within a year." This has long been a criticism of the chain, which traditionally only operated stores in the southern United States, but Sonic's leadership says that it is time to "over come the cold and reach around the world." Only time will prove who's right but in the meantime more locations are planned, about ten in all for the greater Isthmus city area and, if they are successful enough, even more northerly expansion will be considered.

Business News
Volmer to Control Tomolov Businesses

Due to a recent addition to the will of the late Vladimir Tomolov, Sviatoslav Volmer is set to assume control of the Tomolov business empire. Volmer had convinced Tomolov to largely cut his son, Viktor Tomolov, out of the will in late 2005 after one of Vik’s many embarrassing run-ins with the police. The effects of this decision are now being felt as Volmer prepares to take over Vladimir’s many businesses including Gavan Fischmen, Gavan Canneries, a controlling interest in ArboStat, the Marijak Press and Printing Company, GazKarbol, a minority stake in the Abu Naziv Tinworks, and several other local businesses.

When questioned, Mr. Volmer had this to say, “I am deeply saddened by the loss of my good friend and employer Vladimir Tomolov, I shall do my best to run his businesses as he himself would think best.”

The only things left to be inherited by Viktor Tomolov were a large monetary sum and the Tomolov family’s various sports teams; sports being a passion that both father and son shared. The young Tomolov has been given control of Dinamo Novoe Vladivostok, a traditionally powerful soccer club based in downtown Marijak, the Marijak Maulers, a local basketball team, and a 2.5% ownership in the Edmonton Oilers of the N.H.L. Edmonton and the Maulers have both proved to be profitable in the past but DNV has recently faced attendance issues and Viktor might be forced to sell, should they continue their gradual decline in attendance.


Letters to the Editor

A Tomolov Retrospective: The Passing of a Hero
While many might accuse Vladimir Tomolov of being a bad man, I disagree. He has proven to be a dedicated citizen, local philanthropist, and political inspiration to all of us. His story, that of nationalism, perseverance, and hard work, is something that all of us should strive to emulate. After years of mismanagement in business and government his stories of bravery and success made us all proud to be Russian again. How could one not smile gleefully when he oversaw the expansion of the Gavan harbor, feel their own heart pound in pride at what he has given us when we saw Dinamo lift the Cup in 98, or cry in despair when the Progressive Libertarians stole 74. Vladimir Tomolov represented us all, as a people, for over half a century and I believe that beyond anything else he deserves our respect.
-Grigor Yurivitch

Disco a Nightmare

It has been seven months since the New Groove Disco has opened up across the street from me and I have yet to have a decent night’s sleep since then. When mayor Kasik said that the police would be enforcing all noise ordinances I never thought I would have this problem, but apparently the mayor is a liar. Night after night I have to listen to Elvis or Tupac, or whoever it is they play while those young kids sit out by my porch and smoke. Don’t those kids know that I lost my left knee defending this place in the big war, but no, the only respect I get is a “sup, pops,” when I go out to fetch the paper. If the mayor and his police don’t do something about this aural travesty, and fast, I will vote for someone else in the next election.
-Lt. Francis Jacobs

A Modest Proposal

As I look out the window of my ship I often see the familiar sights of Minke whales. These colossal animals are common all over the Pacific and are in no danger of being extinct. Furthermore, there is a large demand for whale meat in Japan. So, if we have access to a non-threatened food supply, that people are willing to pay us a large amount of cash for, then why shouldn’t we make use of this opportunity? I say darn the treaties, Civilitas should legalize the hunting of Minke whales, for the good of the economy, the balance of trade, and yes even for the environment, since those whales eat rare and threatened fish. Why not, we have nothing to lose. After all, Japan and Norway hunt them without repercussion, why should we not reap the same rewards as them?
-Petr Govim

Three OOC notes:

1. Incase you all didn’t see through the grandfatherly veneer, Vladimir Tomolov was a Putin-like strongman, who not only had a large degree of control over the mines, ports, papers, etc. but did a lot of evil stuff that the paper isn’t going to be mentioning unless it absolutely has too.

2. Remember, fan fiction, since it is hard to base what has been happening in the past of this world I am trying to flesh out the history and character of Civilitas in general and the northern province in particular. But as far as the game at large goes, ArboStat, the Tomolovs, etc. don’t exist.

3. I plan to have five sections a week out, usually it will be national/international, provincial/local, business, culture, and then something else.

Triple Murder in the Hoffa Docklands

[CUM NEWSSTREAM]

Isthmus City. July 30, 2007.

With Russian nationalism on the rise, a demonstration in support of Putin's latest reforms had caused yet another riot in Hoffa Docklands in Isthmus City. It is said that Russians from Gavan, Marijak and Al Kaminah may have participated. Cars were put ablaze, cafeterias was torched and the statue of Czar Nikolaj II was painted red. This controversial statue has been the target for several attempts of ridicule and sabotage, but some unknown sponsor in the Northern Province had been paying for the repairs regularly.

The riots luckily caused no fatalities, yet some damage worth more than 4 million USD, as the police quickly came to the scene and dispersed the unruly crowds. A few arrests were made, and investigations continue.

THREE DEAD BODIES

What complicated the situation was the finding of three dead bodies near pier 42, Hoffa Docklands.

Mikhail Gromyko, 45 and political activist from Gavan, was found outside pier 42, embedded in something named "cement shoes". He had ostensibly died a horrible death, drowned with a slab of concrete cemented around his legs.
They sent a scuba diver to attach a crane to hoist him up. Gavan authorities have already been contacted.

Julia Ostrenko, 31 and political journalist from the now closed NNN at Marijak, was found with her skirt removed and a sock pressed down her throat, found only 12 meters from the underwater site where Gromyko was found. She was the first body to be found, and she was said to be seen having interviewed Gromyko earlier the same night over some controversial findings.

Dimitri Akhmedov, 38 and well-known by authorities in Moscow as a brutal criminal with background in the Chechen Wars. Akhmedov is said to sell everything from Heroin, to small firearms and even Pollonium. Intelligence sources have without luck tried to tie him to the Litvinenko case. Akhmedov was found decapitated, allegedly by a Katana, and his head is nowhere to be found. Oddly enough, his head was replaced with an attached football.

REACTIONS

The local police, represented by the irreplaceable Hoffa Docklands District Police Chief Dick Cummings, stated that this was quite possibly some low-level local crime that had no ties to organized crime or political conspiracy whatsoever. "I am intending to play golf this evening, and my guess is that this case will quite possibly not be solved at all. Have a good one!"

The local human rights activist Barbara Hansen had another reaction. "I am quite upset! These three innocents were murdered in cold blood! Now, what happened to their rights? Their untimely deaths can be attributed to the absence of human rights in Isthmus City, this is terrible. I am certain that if these poor souls had more rights today, they would be alive!!!

The known city cynic and author, Jaan van Leyden, said the following:
"What do you expect? People die on a regular basis, we are more than six billion people, and this is not even the beginning of more violent deaths. I think people have gotten afraid of death, and I think they should demystify it.
I cannot bear to hear those wimps jump up over a dead body. Life and death is normal, you see, and the reason we are so many, are that things go up and down in life. This is why I believe in sterilization, euthanasia and abortion. There are way too many people, and too little environment and quality of life".

The local Karate instructor, Sato Moto, in the ION Dojo in Shoraito, or Nemo City had an unusual view of these murders. "This is what I said all the time, if one is not capable of self defense, one has a much larger chance to die. And not bring up this free arms crap again. Your own fists and legs cannot be used for suicides or be stolen by a drug addict. A healthy practitioner of Karate maintains discipline

Western Delta stock broker, Biff Mustang, gave us a quick reply, as he found one of the victims, and is to testify in court. "This is all about supply and demand and law and order. If the market in this city was more competitive, and we had more private security services, allowing the city to outsource those services, then, and only then, the market equilibrium would handle this quite smoothly. I am quite certain that the costs would be lower. And these dead folks, were they insured? If they had the right fiscal instruments organized around their legal persons, they would either be alive or have their families getting some safety net. I am appalled at their lack of good judgement".

Jevgen Yukov, trade unionist and a friend of Mr Gromyko, questioned the integrity of the system.
"Of course this is a conspiracy, not only taking place in Civilitas, but goes all the way to the top. I think somehow the Americans are involved. They have been trying to do as they wanted since 1991, and this is another example of that. If I did not drink so much last night, I could probably have told you what I saw. And even if I did, I could not be a witness. You know, it was not vodka I had, it was methanol."

Mathilde Rust, 22, German tourist and global backpacker was asked about how she considered the crime in Hoffa Docklands, living in the Youth Hostel there.
"You know, I zink ze snobbish Western Delta is not superkool. It is overrated, and no-one knows what crime goes on there, because those rich bastards pay their way out. It is about having fun, and the bars, music and the real men in leatherjackets are zoo much kooler in Hoffa Docklands. I have seen no crime here, and no-one should ask me what I smoke! Since I take the pill, and I got friends to watch my back when I am drunk, I survive. I am zurvivor".

Bengal resident and successful florist Ali Hakim, living in Eastern Delta and former resident of Al Hakimah didn't worry too much. "I think this is all blown up. Most of the city breathes and people are friendly. I can have a cup of tea and listen to all these nationals. I think having so many nations is just good. Yet, I think would like to see more common sense in handling legal issues. I am not quite sure of the best recipe, but somewhere in the middle, the middle as I see it."

Diego Islas Bonita, 27 and local clubber, observed the following: "The nightlife has become wild here. If I was not so busy chasing ladies all the time, I would probably join the police. You know the uniforms look so good on me. It is a shame the Russian chick died, she was really good looking, but the other guys I can't relate to. Hey, I really think the Katana-thing was cool. I did not do it, but it was a helluva way to leave this world. Cement shoes? I think I have seen a movie about that, or read a comic about it. If it was in a book, I wouldn't even see it for me. Hey, cool hanging out with you, I gotta go."

Salvatore Hoffa, visiting Italian American said the following in the conclusion of my stay in Isthmus City "So what, the guy sleeps with the fishes, the lady was found stripped and the guy lost his head over it?
What I do? I import Japanese souvenirs, and just came from celebrating the soccer-game I watched in the local pub with Milan-Juventus, until I got so drunk I could not remember anymore. I can only remember I argued with a attractive woman with a heavy accent that rejected me. About cement trace on my shoes? YOU think I did it? Watch my eyes: YOU NEED "CONCRETE" EVIDENCE"- as he tapped his finger into my chest... I am now back in Gavan, not going back to Isthmus.


Jerry Springfield, freelance reporter, Gavan Gluboko Patchanka, Isthmus City