Things you have learned from Civ

Defiant47

Peace Sentinel
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1. Global warming started when the first nuclear meltdown occured, and has continued regardless of any other non-nuclear related incidents or pollutants.
2. Population is constructed with food. The breeding habits of your populace are irrelevant.
3. You can receive a gift of the technology of Fishing, but you can't strike a deal for the technology of Fishing for 20 gold and the rest that the gold doesn't account for is perceived as a gift.
4. The effects of the Great Wall of China expand with the borders even though the wall itself may be a bit farther in.
5. The Egyptians invented monarchy, the republic, fascism, and democracy.
6. Military units are created with production (rather than training - gold), and when they are created, there is absolutely no impact on the population of the creator city.
7. Any nation could have built any wonder, it's just that if they didn't built it first, something would have made the leader think "it feels like someone else built this exact thing somewhere far away... ok, take it down and convert the stones to gold". (this one was slightly stolen from something I saw on these forums once)
8. (pre-BTS) Leaders had access to complete historical demographics information such as GNP, Production, and Military Power of ALL nations as soon as they met them.
9. Leaders at all times throughout history (even the stone age) had access to information about how much land and population their tribes/empires/nations had, to the hundreth of a percentage accurate.
10. Once you sign a peace treaty with another nation, there is an invisible force field preventing any military units of attempting to attack again, until the peace treaty is over.
11. If you station an army of troops just outside of a city belonging to a civilization with whom you have open borders, they are incapable of attacking directly... they must first magically transport outside of the borders before they can attack.
12. Although civilizations throughout history have been closer to each other due their shared civics, there has never been any contempt between civilizations for sharing opposite civics (other than refused demands) *cough* Communism *cough*.
13. All civilization started from 4000BC.
14. Catapults were not built just for taking down enemy fortifications, but also for attacking other units and causing collateral damage.
15. It is possible to have the technology and be capable to chop down trees, but be completely and utterly incapable of chopping down jungles.
16. It is possible to be able to use your money to upgrade a war elephant into a gunship, but to be unable to use your money to create a gunship directly.
17. Palaces are built instantaneously in the next best city once one is destroyed.
18. It is impossible to demolish your own buildings.
19. You have to be specially trained in order to use enemy roads.
20. If you close your eyes for a few seconds, a barbarian could appear in front of you.
21. Secret projects such as the construction of a spaceship to travel to Alpha Centauri aren't secret at all: after the successful completion of the construction of a spaceship part, the responsible leader alerts every other leader of his progress.
22. If you bribe a friend into declaring war against one of your enemies, they will instantly know that you are responsible. However, you will never be able to know if an enemy bribes someone to attack you... ever!
23. In the ancient era, it would take warriors 2000 years to move from one end of a continent to another, whereas nowadays, with the same terrain (no roads/railroads) it only would only take 20 years.
24. Enemies are more afraid of Jaguars than of Axemen.
25. Military units can quickly breed themselves some reinforcements, but they breed much more slowly while behind enemy lines.
26. Great Generals, when not acting as instructors or building military academies, would usually attach themselves to a single regiment. They seldom commanded large armies.
27. Leaders, Great People, Great Generals, and many others, can live for thousands of years.
28. A nation can benefit from strategic resources such as coal and oil, even if there are enemy troops in the mines, wells, and/or offshore platforms.
29. Flanking the enemy does not provide any offensive bonus, it simply increases the chances of withdrawing in case of failure.
30. Ambushing techniques haven't been invented until the modern era, and they are useless against infantry, artillery, and just about everything other than tanks.
31. Having weapons doesn't always mean that you can fight. For example, if you are a simple explorer, you may be able to defend yourself, but it is physically impossible for you to take the sword in your hand and move towards the enemy in an offensive fashion.
32. A city is incapable of building nothing.
33. Cottages, hamlets, villages, and town do not actually contribute to your poulation.
34. People were capable of communicating in writing long before they had created any alphabet.
35. Civilizations could have skipped entire eras (Theology Oracle slingshot).
36. Tin is exceptionally abundant throughout the world such that leaders of civilizations never had to even bother looking for it or even mining it.
37. A city built on grassland is exactly as productive as a city built on a desert.
38. It takes more time to raze a hamlet than to raze a city.
39. Although trees may be non-renewable and take a while to grow back, fossil fuels are endless and can never be exhausted.
40. If one of your slaves (i.e. vassal) does everything you ask him/her to do, you are physically incapable of attacking him/her.

Keep it coming folks!
 
This is a complaint isn`t it?
 
Is this about civ or is this about real life?

I really don't understand the point of this, you are simply listing rules and their subtle nuances.
 
It's a humour thread guys! Come on!

Kind of like "You know you're obsessed with Civ when..."

Instead, it's things in Civ that are the way they are just because or to balance game-play, but are funny when transposed in real life.

Like the invisible force field from peace treaties...
 
41) Air Force is unable to attack an enemy division if it has lost half of its members.
42) An invisible force field prevents your galleys from leaving the coast.
43) Battleships have never been able to attack the coast.
44) There is some inexplicable phisical forces that transforms water into an obstacle that not even helicopters are capable of cross.
45) SEAL units have never been paradropt.
46) (in BTS) Privateers can block all trade routes of coast cities, even those that go through air (remember, the airport gives an extra traderoute), but their advanced anti-air systems are unable to intercept airplanes.
47) It doesn´t matter how much SDI satelites you have and how much nukes are launched at you. 75% are always intercepted.
48) If you develop a costly nuclear program, all nations have acces to nukes, for free.
 
"27. Leaders, Great People, Great Generals, and many others, can live for thousands of years."

Surely that's cause they're the only ones capable of affording the spice?
 
49. Gunships go to a city and annihilate anyone who even thinks about picking up a spear....but can't land there afterwards until someone else has found them a parking spot.
 
50. It is possible to defeat a tank with just a spear

The tank slowly approached the charging spearman.

"He will have no chance against us," uttered the commander, "prepare to fire!"

The tank's machine gun and main cannon lined up with the half-naked running man.

"I've got the target, ready to fire!" yelled the gunman.

"Hang on!" shouted the commander, "We gotta wait for the right moment!" The commander then opened the hatch and started following the spearman's movement with the binoculars.

The spearman was now 10 metres away from the tank and still running. He had now put his weapon in his hand and was screaming in a blind rage to destroy his enemy.

"Wait for it..." assured the commander, as an inexorable anxiety overtook his gunman.

The spearman kept advancing and was nearly on top of the tank.

"Wait for it..." assured the commander, and the gunman was getting confused as to why they wouldn't just blow him out of the sky right there and then.

"Wait for..." the commander tried to say, but he was interrupted by the spearman jumping on top of the tank and piercing the commander's neck with the spear.

The gunman heard the fleshy sound of his commander's demise and started to panic. The spearman dropped down the hatch in a murderous rage. The gunman and driver both reached for their guns, but it was in vain.

"Dammit!" shouted the driver, "I left my gun at base..."

"Me too..." realized the gunman in hopeless defeat.

The spearman used his spear and killed them both effortlessly, and then jumped back out of the tank. He did not bother to commandeer the tank, he just returned back to his axeman commanding unit and reported success.

The End.

***

The moral of this story? Incompetence can be used to explain even the lowest of odds.
 
They could be supernatural spearmen with the ability to block bullets with their spears and leap over explosions.

They have survived 6 millenia, so they must have picked up some skills in that time.
 
#X) Nations can become very rich by trading away movies and songs for gold and rare resources.

#X+1) The internet is a way for one nation to steal secrets of another.

#X+2) The Malinies Space Ship program is second to none.
 
"34. People were capable of communicating in writing long before they had created any alphabet."

Wouldn't this be hieroglyphics? So, in this case... nothing unusual about what happens in Civ.

It's a great, funny list!
 
54)No amount of soldiers can ever stop the violent protest of a few thousand unarmed civilians.
NO AMOUNT, EVER.

55)People who are protesting can never die, ever, even in the presence of paralyzing and lethal disease and a severe shortage of food.
 
"34. People were capable of communicating in writing long before they had created any alphabet."

Wouldn't this be hieroglyphics?

But hieroglyphics have to have an alphabet of their own, every written way of communication does. The cIV tech Alphabet does not specify which alphabet they mean though, so i suppose you could say that the Alphabet tech refers to a later one than that used in the Writing-tech.
 
To get Serious now! ;)
Any crap I picked up along the way I owe to CIv3 pedia structure. Its hard to progress learning in Civ 4 cuz many pedia entries are carried word for word and its strange linkage system runs nowhere as smooth as its early one.
Its partly why "HIstory Canada" .a Gov sponsered education project backed by Civ3 Conquest's original design team, chose Civ3 to teach students (THe mod dosn't run really huge maps with mega amount of civs playin the same time so CIv4's highspecs weren't ther biggest issue IMO)

Civ4 had a more arcade or MP practacality, thats ok besides It was mods that advanced my depth of understanding of world events and they are found with both versions of pedia

A scenario focusing on one period, a battle like the opium war or SPanish reconquesta, or just a beefed up classic random can make you a expert afterwards if you have a liking to learn what you create or encounter. Its only when mod creaters take the time to support all the improvements/units/ resources/wonders/civs/techs, that this proves true

I went from "Anno Domini" to "Middle Age Mod",thats 8 eras of full pedia script, before I graduated my CHD, Civ history Degree, with " The Balancer Reloaded." :coffee:

The last class (Balancer) illistrates clearly all eras weapons and cultural developments with really undeserving amounts of info pertaining to all aspects of pritty much every weapon ever used in battle(add that with same impeccable details of all other facets in civ and its incredible to imagine the time taken to acheive this)

Take a look to see what I mean. See the tanks and chopper? Now image all 800 units along the same lines of detail. Its a throwdown showing proper format.
Again Its easy to pick up facts readin good pedia mods.
 
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