Clues you've been playing too much FFH

Scott Alexander · Nov 02, 2007, 10:19 PM

(based on the 1000 Clues You've Been Playing Too Much Civ)

1. You wake up in the middle of the night and go outside to check if Hell has spread to your backyard.

2. Every time there's a cold spell, you panic and run off in search of your magic sword.

3. You've built a Shrine of Sirona in your living room, which you use every time you skin your knee.

4. The last time a spider got into your house, you stuck it in a pen and waited for the payoff.

5. You oppose the war in Iraq on the grounds that it might raise the Armaggedon Count.

6. You've received dreams from the Octopus Overlords.

7. You call your minister/priest/rabbi "the local Luonnatar", and both respect his monotheism and find it laughably impractical.

8. You refer to your neighbor's kids as "a new tribe slinking across creation, still in that twilight between birth and the recruitment of hell."

9. You never lie, cheat, or swindle, on the grounds that "those features won't be implemented till Shadow."

10. You've connected the clues in the Civilopedia and determined that Eurabates the Gold Dragon is Cardith Lorda. And although you don't have any proof, you also suspect Abashi the Black Dragon is Dick Cheney.

I dare you to try and do another nine hundred ninety.

ZhugeTien · Nov 02, 2007, 10:21 PM

Quite an enjoyable read. I regret to say I cannot top it for the moment, but I'll certainly be thinking on how. Kudos.

Psychic_Llamas · Nov 03, 2007, 01:24 AM

11. you have an irrisistable temptation to build a mana node over anything blue and shiney.

loocas · Nov 03, 2007, 02:09 AM

12. You finish every transaction with, "Aye, and you're a shrewd negotiator."

Nimbus · Nov 03, 2007, 03:33 AM

13. You pay heed to the warning and eat your snacks in moderation.

seZereth · Nov 03, 2007, 05:39 AM

this is awesome

merciary · Nov 03, 2007, 06:19 AM

14. Every time the news says we're running out of resources you wonder why the country doesn't build more Earth Nodes.

zxcvbnm · Nov 03, 2007, 09:46 AM

15. Your wife/girlfriend asks why your home is untidy. Your answer: "my palace produces chaos and entropy mana"
16. She is annoyed because you "use entropy magic"
17. You donate $$$$$$$ to Unicef hoping it'll lower the armageddon counter
18. You ask why people are allowed to mix science and religion despite of it being AV and very evil

Nikis-Knight · Nov 03, 2007, 10:01 AM

More icons on your desktop refer to Fall from Heaven than to anything else... combined.

wilboman · Nov 03, 2007, 10:04 AM

19. You suspect that the recent spate of forest fires really are indications that Acheron is holed up in a small town in California.

wilboman · Nov 03, 2007, 10:16 AM

20. Clowns are even scarier now than the used to be. And they used to be pretty damn creepy.

TheJopa · Nov 03, 2007, 10:18 AM

21. You think some people you know resemble to FfH leaders.

zxcvbnm · Nov 03, 2007, 10:19 AM

22. You build obelisks in your neigbours' gardens hoping that they will lose some of their income.
23. To prevent your backyard from becoming smaller you glue lizard posters on your walls, name your 10-year old child as the leader and build a statue in your backyard
24. You run away from any puppeteers you see

Black Whole · Nov 03, 2007, 10:30 AM

25. You put down a mirror in the garden and await that it produces sun mana.

Black Whole · Nov 03, 2007, 10:35 AM

26. Every time you pass a cemetery, you flee because there could be a selpucher, which spawns Barbatos.

zxcvbnm · Nov 03, 2007, 10:58 AM

27. You count the armageddon counter, based on the number of civilisations in the world and cities razed during the history
28. You wonder how it can be only [Censored for your own good] as it's turn 12076
29. You wonder why we don't have immortals to send to wars as it's turn 12076 and we surely must have researched divine essence

Jenaelha · Nov 03, 2007, 11:26 AM

30. You see your undeveloped front yard and think a cottage would do nicely there.

DeaExMachina · Nov 03, 2007, 12:54 PM

31. You sit down at your computer and go to open the internet, opening FfH by mistake.
32. You go to open MSN wile opening FfH by mistake...AGAIN!

loocas · Nov 03, 2007, 01:23 PM

33. You assign leader traits to everyone you meet. My boss is Spiritual and Aggressive, one manager is Charismatic and Philosophical, while I'm Organized and Expansive.

KillerClowns · Nov 03, 2007, 01:45 PM

34. (True story) You switch back to basic BtS, and when you get dropped in the middle of a desert, you instinctively start looking for mana to build a water node on.
35. (Also happened once) Your exclamation of surprise is "What in Agares' unholy name?!?"

Nov 02, 2007, 10:19 PM	#1
Scott Alexander Chieftain Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 58	Clues you've been playing too much FFH (based on the 1000 Clues You've Been Playing Too Much Civ) 1. You wake up in the middle of the night and go outside to check if Hell has spread to your backyard. 2. Every time there's a cold spell, you panic and run off in search of your magic sword. 3. You've built a Shrine of Sirona in your living room, which you use every time you skin your knee. 4. The last time a spider got into your house, you stuck it in a pen and waited for the payoff. 5. You oppose the war in Iraq on the grounds that it might raise the Armaggedon Count. 6. You've received dreams from the Octopus Overlords. 7. You call your minister/priest/rabbi "the local Luonnatar", and both respect his monotheism and find it laughably impractical. 8. You refer to your neighbor's kids as "a new tribe slinking across creation, still in that twilight between birth and the recruitment of hell." 9. You never lie, cheat, or swindle, on the grounds that "those features won't be implemented till Shadow." 10. You've connected the clues in the Civilopedia and determined that Eurabates the Gold Dragon is Cardith Lorda. And although you don't have any proof, you also suspect Abashi the Black Dragon is Dick Cheney. I dare you to try and do another nine hundred ninety. Last edited by Scott Alexander; Nov 02, 2007 at 10:24 PM.

Nov 03, 2007, 01:24 AM	#3
Psychic_Llamas Wizard in the Making Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Western Australia Posts: 6,224 Images: 6	11. you have an irrisistable temptation to build a mana node over anything blue and shiney. __________________ Civ 4 Warhammer: Heart of Chaos Mod Try it... You know you want to... (Forum) (Download) (Design Overview) (Design Discussion) AVATAR Mod Development (Main Development Thread)

Nov 03, 2007, 02:09 AM	#4
loocas Prince Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 432	12. You finish every transaction with, "Aye, and you're a shrewd negotiator." Last edited by loocas; Nov 03, 2007 at 02:32 AM.

Nov 03, 2007, 03:33 AM	#5
Nimbus Prince Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 366	13. You pay heed to the warning and eat your snacks in moderation. __________________ Slovotsky's Laws #31: Get scared right away; avoid the rush.

Nov 03, 2007, 05:39 AM	#6
seZereth FfH´s art monk(ey) Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Bayreuth Posts: 3,891 Images: 1	this is awesome __________________ The Art monk(ey)`s Laboratory: my Unit Library not updated for a longer time now, but: ...teaser of my work in progress Fall from Heaven II still on my crusade to replace every unit with unique art... "People might get tired of crack or heroine. Not of FFH2." - Xenokite Aftermath mod... survive the nightmare Mad Max Fury Road ... post apocalytic warfare. The new Warhammer Fantasy Battles mod finally here, come and test with us.. teaser pic

Nov 02, 2007, 10:21 PM	#2
ZhugeTien Enlightened Despot Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 72	Quite an enjoyable read. I regret to say I cannot top it for the moment, but I'll certainly be thinking on how. Kudos.

Nov 03, 2007, 06:19 AM	#7
merciary Wrath of Tali Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: OSU Posts: 490	14. Every time the news says we're running out of resources you wonder why the country doesn't build more Earth Nodes. __________________ Snarky/historical/thought provoking quote to come later

Nov 03, 2007, 09:46 AM	#8
zxcvbnm The Nobody Join Date: May 2007 Location: nowhere Posts: 2,070	15. Your wife/girlfriend asks why your home is untidy. Your answer: "my palace produces chaos and entropy mana" 16. She is annoyed because you "use entropy magic" 17. You donate $$$$$$$ to Unicef hoping it'll lower the armageddon counter 18. You ask why people are allowed to mix science and religion despite of it being AV and very evil

Nov 03, 2007, 10:01 AM	#9
Nikis-Knight Lark's Daddy Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 5,567	More icons on your desktop refer to Fall from Heaven than to anything else... combined. __________________ Fall From Heaven II now on BtS! FfH2 Huge map, Civs Overview, & Gameplay Story!

Nov 03, 2007, 10:04 AM	#10
wilboman Hibernorse Frost Giant Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: A timeshare in Kwythellar Posts: 2,397	19. You suspect that the recent spate of forest fires really are indications that Acheron is holed up in a small town in California. __________________ Member of the Fall From Heaven II design team, along with Kael Coalbane, Alazkan the Assassin, Chalid Astrakhein, Corlindale, C.Roland, Hexagonian, Loki, Nikis-Knight, Ploeperpengel, SeZereth, Sto, Talchas, White Rabbit, and Yvain the Woodelf. Writer and Idea-comer-upwither. Last edited by wilboman; Nov 03, 2007 at 10:15 AM.

Nov 03, 2007, 10:16 AM	#11
wilboman Hibernorse Frost Giant Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: A timeshare in Kwythellar Posts: 2,397	20. Clowns are even scarier now than the used to be. And they used to be pretty damn creepy. __________________ Member of the Fall From Heaven II design team, along with Kael Coalbane, Alazkan the Assassin, Chalid Astrakhein, Corlindale, C.Roland, Hexagonian, Loki, Nikis-Knight, Ploeperpengel, SeZereth, Sto, Talchas, White Rabbit, and Yvain the Woodelf. Writer and Idea-comer-upwither.

Nov 03, 2007, 10:18 AM	#12
TheJopa Šumar Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Croatia Posts: 2,008	21. You think some people you know resemble to FfH leaders. __________________ Play Fall from Heaven - The greatest mod for Civ4! Last edited by TheJopa; Nov 03, 2007 at 01:43 PM.

Nov 03, 2007, 10:19 AM	#13
zxcvbnm The Nobody Join Date: May 2007 Location: nowhere Posts: 2,070	22. You build obelisks in your neigbours' gardens hoping that they will lose some of their income. 23. To prevent your backyard from becoming smaller you glue lizard posters on your walls, name your 10-year old child as the leader and build a statue in your backyard 24. You run away from any puppeteers you see

Nov 03, 2007, 10:30 AM	#14
Black Whole Dancing Condor Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Theatre of Dreams Posts: 238	25. You put down a mirror in the garden and await that it produces sun mana. __________________ The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle. -excerpt from Terry Pratchett's 'Soul Music' Economic Left/Right: -5.62 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.41 Last edited by Black Whole; Nov 03, 2007 at 10:31 AM. Reason: grammar

Nov 03, 2007, 10:35 AM	#15
Black Whole Dancing Condor Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Theatre of Dreams Posts: 238	26. Every time you pass a cemetery, you flee because there could be a selpucher, which spawns Barbatos. __________________ The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle. -excerpt from Terry Pratchett's 'Soul Music' Economic Left/Right: -5.62 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.41

Nov 03, 2007, 10:58 AM	#16
zxcvbnm The Nobody Join Date: May 2007 Location: nowhere Posts: 2,070	27. You count the armageddon counter, based on the number of civilisations in the world and cities razed during the history 28. You wonder how it can be only [*Censored for your own good*] as it's turn 12076 29. You wonder why we don't have immortals to send to wars as it's turn 12076 and we surely must have researched divine essence

Nov 03, 2007, 11:26 AM	#17
Jenaelha Warlord Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Antelope Valley Posts: 172	30. You see your undeveloped front yard and think a cottage would do nicely there.

Nov 03, 2007, 12:54 PM	#18
DeaExMachina Warlord Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 168	31. You sit down at your computer and go to open the internet, opening FfH by mistake. 32. You go to open MSN wile opening FfH by mistake...AGAIN!

Nov 03, 2007, 01:23 PM	#19
loocas Prince Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 432	33. You assign leader traits to everyone you meet. My boss is Spiritual and Aggressive, one manager is Charismatic and Philosophical, while I'm Organized and Expansive.

Nov 03, 2007, 01:45 PM	#20
KillerClowns Cannot Resist Shiny Bits Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,048	34. (True story) You switch back to basic BtS, and when you get dropped in the middle of a desert, you instinctively start looking for mana to build a water node on. 35. (Also happened once) Your exclamation of surprise is "What in Agares' unholy name?!?" Last edited by KillerClowns; Nov 03, 2007 at 01:48 PM.

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