Heh...could you imagine a Civ IV forum for the AI?

It would go like...

Thread title: Preatrushed again D:
By: Gandhi

Body:

Gandhi: "D: That meanie Julius declared war on me again! What does I do?"

Montezuma: "UNITS! MORE UNITS! ENOUGH UNITS TO BLOCK OUT HIS SUN AND FILL EVERY TILE WITH BLOODY GOODNESS! "

Gandhi: "But...what about my research rate?"

Montezuma: " FORGET RESEARCH RATE! JUST BUILD UNITS, MORE AND MORE UNITS! DO THEY HAVE RIFLEMEN? BUILD MORE UNITS! PREATS? BUILD MORE UNITS? MODERN ARMOR? BUILD MORE JAGUARS, MAN! "

Gandhi: ...*Backs away slowly*

I bet there would be a lot of threads complaining about the human special treatement

"Human Diplo: How to fix it?" by Ramesses

As you all know humans don't have a visible diplo and don't have redlines to the things that they don't want to trade. That ,added to the infamous fact that humans can Dow at Friendly and that they don't have limit to the techs they are open to trade makes the diplo completely unbalanced to the side of the Human. This makes like if the humans were playing a whole diferent game and makes the game completely unbalanced.

How can we fix it?

Click to expand...

What do you want to see in Civ5?

"No humans!"

Wouldn't it look like this?

OP - 1000101000101001011110101100101001001001001010101010.........
Reply - 1001001001 (10 chars)

From Wang Kon:

So, I'm playing on a Great Plains/Huge/18 Civs/Marathon, and I'm right dab in the middle of the map. I've got Shaka to my south (!) and he's teching like a fiend. I start planting lots of CG Archers to keep him off me. So, as soon as he founds Confucianism I convert and now we've got a happy Confucian club and stay best buds throughout the game. Shaka swallows Alex/Ragnar/Genghis/Ramses/Hyena Tupac and vassals Isabella, and I'm with him all the way; every war he asks me to join, I'm there no questions asked. Now Isabella's Annoyed with him so I figure he'll go after her next and I'm all set to roll on her when HE STABS ME IN THE BACK. We were Friendly/Pleased the whole game! I've got Inf, but he's coming at me with tanks and bombers! WTH? The diplo in this game is seriously broken.

Sitting Bull : "Poison his water !"
Genghis : "You need horses. Lot of horses !"
Catherine : *slaps Genghis*
Pacal : "MY PRECIOOOOUS !"
Boudica :"Someone takes Monty out of my leg before I rip his head off..."
Alex : "Soooo, you're under attack ? Hmm, I might help you, I just happen to have some troops in your neighborhood. Say, where's your most undefended city ? I will.... help you, yes, help you."
Isabella: "YOU HEATENS ! DON'T TOUCH HIM !"
Gandhi : "Can I become your vassal mommy ?"
Tokugawa : ...
Joao : "A little tech for a poor man ? Please, mam, give me a tech."
Huayna Capac : *keeps building a wonder*
Suryavaman :

Shaka : "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR !" *whacks Suryavaman*

...

AI RED: we need rules on turn-timers - the human players walk away and leave us waiting for hours, days, and sometimes WEEKS on end before coming back to the game!

AI BLUE: you think that's bad? Everytime this guy attacks me and I win, he goes back to previous game save and tries it again a different way!!! I can't WIN with rules like this!!

AI GREEN: Why hasn't Firaxis and Gamespy developed a ladder or league for us AI players? We are TOTALLY ignored!!!

brrrrrrriliant!!!!

I love the OP's ... post... (sounds redundant to say that ha).

Navarre yours kicks arse though, love it

The Khmer part kicks sox expecially

Catherine-A/S/L?
Montezuma-Stack of death is good times.
Mansu Musa-Please don't hurt me I will give you whatever you want!
Tokugawa-Stop bothering me! I'm watching Naruto!
Alexander- I swear I thought that kid was over 12.
Mao Zedong-Anybody want to go for a walk?
Julius Caesar-Praetorians are too weak vs axes imo
Orange-Dude it's puff puff pass you jerk!
Ghandi-maybe a hunger strike will stop that stack of death!
Boudicia-YES they are real!

Strategy guide by Mansa Musa:

Don't worry about building units, just research like crazy and constantly pester everyone to give you free techs. When you get Rifling, Monty will demand the tech so you just give it to him so he won't hurt you. Unfortunately, the stupid human player gets all riled up when you give rifling to Monty particularly if you happened to get Rifling from the human. Humans are obviously too stupid to understand but they certainly are nasty.

Strategy guide by Montezuma:

Build Jaguars and then build more jaguars. Kill everyone. extort tech from that pathetic snivelling Mansa (kill him later). Build jaguars. umh, have I mentioned the need to build jaguars? Kill people.

Title : OMG PWNZORED AGAIN ! by Mansa Musa

Body :

These humans are bloodthirsty maniacs, i tell you !

Here we are on a landmass, and I have a great start, a really great one, y'know what I mean ? I had 3 food resources in my capital's cross, and lots of lovely jungle to turn into cottages around, I was happy! More, my best friend Darios is my neighbour, I know we'll have a trade fest for thousand of years ! There's Brennus, who founds Taoism before you can say "stupid zealot" (the human picked "choose religions"), and Tokugawa, the ugly man who never speaks to anyone. And finally there is the human, who plays Alexander of the Greeks : he seems a normal guy, spamming cities and cottages all around, someone sane. Taoism spreads, we all convert and that's such a lovely family, we all get along great !

Then out of nowhere the human attacks Brennus ! Can you imagine that ? He was pleased with him, I swear, and he attacks him anyway ! Who does that ? I think that Brennus shouldn't have settled these cities so close of the human, he was obviously trying to culture-steal his resources and you know how humans are greedy but still, attacking him, like that... Phalanx run all over the place, there's a lot of violence, that's really disgusting. Anyway, I don't do anything but researching, you know how I like that. After a while, Brennus capitulates to the human after losing the Holy City and some others around, I didn't really pay attention.

Darius and me were researching great, we traded everything, and even the human player couldn't catch up with us. Serves him well for having one of those fancy brains instead of good logarithms like a normal person. He was searching odd techs like Horse Riding and Engineering, while we were following the Aesthetics path. I built shiny wonders, you wouldn't believe : the Great Library, the Parthenon, all in my capital. It's sooo lovely now ! Meanwhile, my general (I only have one, yes. It's my nephew, and he's an horrible scientist, so I gave him the job) was happy because we succeed in some stupid quest named Greed : well, we succeeded by accident, because our borders expanded after the human took a Celt city. But my nephew was so happy ! He trained four macemen, I think they're called, and gave them to me. Now what am I supposed to do with that ? I have like two longbowmen in each city, nobody would dare attacking me. I put them somewhere and forget about it.

And then the human declares war on me and bribes Tokugawa to do the same ! How's that fair ? He has maybe 40 units, how am I supposed to compete with that ? He already took me three cities before I can say "ouch", and he's coming for my capital. He wants my wonders ! I can't train anything but longbows, he has taken my mine of iron I gained by accident, and blew up my mine of copper with a spy !

Help me ! What do I do ?

I was seriously putting a hurt on him last night and then he reloaded (again).

I was allways beating him up badly on Noble, but now my player moved down to Warlord. Now i can't beat him anymore. I do ok at the start, but am falling back in research by midgame. Help please. Any tips how to imporve my game ?

By: Mansa

Body: Man Civ is seriously broken. The other day I'm coasting to cultural victory at 0 research. My coastal capital is already legendary, and my victory is guaranteed in about 20 turns and the closest competitor is a human with the spaceship still not complete. But better be safe the sorry, cause I've heard how psycho these humans can be. So I drafted a huge army to guard my capital: had 3 riflemen, a cannon, 15 destroyers, 4 bombers, 4 fighters, 10 battleships, 5 submarines and 8 transports. My capital was invincible!! I laughed when human parked a stack of 5 transports with some marines escorted by 1 destroyer near my borders......but next turn he attacked!!!! My entire army was destryed by 4 marines!!! WTH!!!!!!!


P.S. Did anyone figure out how to offer peace to a human? So far I've figured out how to beg/demand gold/tech/requests and offer trades, also how to vassalize to pretty much everybody, but can seem to figure out how to offer peace to the human.

So I attacked a human city defended by only one warrior with a stack of swords and took it easily... next thing i know, time had gone back 10 years and when I tried to take the city again, the human had 10 longbows in it! is this a bug?

While me and the other AI's were waiting for the human to start a new game, we heard him discuss a "patch" (whatever that is)

The China AI says it's a common practice among the human players - like being neutered

HELP! Axe-Rushed Again! - PLZ HELP
Posted by: Willem van Oranje

Help! Every single time I start next to a human, he steals my worker, then axerushes me! How do I stop this?

thx - Willem

Re: HELP! Axe-Rushed Again! - PLZ HELP
Posted by: Mao Zedong

Lolz - Build more archers, n00b!

Shaka:
What I am searching is a way to avoid cheating by the human. You know, the only way in which the human can be challenging enough on the most dificult levels (Settler and such ones) is to give him huge bonuses. Does somebody know how to make really challenging humans that don´t cheat.

Augustus:
I am more worried about the bug that makes the human to finish the game every time i am winning. Does somebody know about a patch that can fix this issue?

The human's SoD is always broken. Mine of 6-10 units of mostly mounted units never work, while his stack of 20+ that consists of mostly equal numbers of all units and specialized attackers always cleans up my cities. Someone needs to do something to nerf the power of human SoDs...

HELP!!!! Posted By: Elizabeth

Alright, I was playing, saw some of the human, looked a turn later, and five resources had popped up! Also, in 4000 BC, he had an ICBM!! Bug anybody?