A case could be made for spaghetti roads in the modern era being realstic, though. Doubtless there are more roads now than there were in the Middle Ages, and they do go pretty much anywhere that is occupied. The penalty for connecting a resource to a road doesn't make much sense to me - seems like the opposite would be true. Isn't it generally easier to exploit a (land-based) resource if you can access it by road, and even easier if you can by rail?
I like the hidden modifiers, though, so long as there is still some indication of diplomatic stance. Makes you figure out what really is annoying the other leader, and with the apparently different diplomatic personalities, that could be interesting.