The Downside of Imperialism

DownsideBrian

Chieftain
Joined
Sep 24, 2012
Messages
9
Hello, this is my first ever post in Stories & Tales. I have been inspired by Blood and Iron: Conquests of the Chancellor in the Civ III Stories & Tales forum, and am now making one myself.
These are the stats for the game:
Spoiler :
Next War Epic mod
Custom Continents
Huge Size
Epic Game Speed
One Continent Per Team
Unrestricted Leaders
New Random Seed on Reload
Chieftain Difficulty (ya, ya, make fun...)
9 other Civs, all random
All victories enabled except time
All other settings are default
I am playing as Joao II, with the English Empire (unrestricted leaders)
All other leaders and civs are random, and at time of writing, I don't know who they are.

Constructive criticism is welcomed, as this is my first Story.
I don't know when I will be able to post, but I will try to do so as often as I can.
The chapters I've posted so far are listed here, I'll update the list as I go:
Spoiler :
Chapter 1: Introduction of England and Downside
Chapter 2: Religion, Monarchy, and Military
Chapter 3: The New Government

Without further ado, the first chapter!
 
The English Empire first came together as a cohesive entity in the year 400 BCE. Although the culture of the country has changed much since then,

the ancient city of London is still the heart of the great Empire. Founded between the Anglo lake and the Saxon Sea, through much of the Ancient

Era the people of England were known as the Anglo-Saxons.

As Downside wandered through the forest along the shores of Anglo Lake, he pondered his current predicament. He had been banished from his

own tribe for refusing to join his chief's raiding party and attack their neighboring tribe. They had a word in his tribe's language for those who refused

battle: civilized. Downside wondered whether that term should really be used as an insult, or as an expression of admiration.
Upon seeing a column of smoke over the treetops, Downside began to head east, towards the smoke. He soon heard screams and suspected that

there was a battle going on. This was, for Downside, a chance to see why battle was so preferred by his tribe. Grabbing a thick, strong branch from

the ground, he felt sure that he could defend himself, if necessary. It was time to head towards the battle.

The first ruler of the Anglo-Saxons was, according to myth, a great War-chief known as Downside, who, after being banished from his home tribe who
called themselves Portuguese, saved the village that became the city of London from a raid from murderous barbarians. Throughout history, all
rulers of England have had the honorary name, Downside.

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3625 BCE
Thomas sat glared with contempt at the panther that lay before him, dead. The beast had just killed one of the two other members of his team. Richard had been as good a fighter as Thomas had ever seen, yet he had been brought down by this panther's surprise attack. Beside him, the last member of his team, Harrison, looked ashamed. "Let's give him a proper burial, then," Thomas said. "When we make camp, we will dine on this beast in memory of our friend. Then I shall wear its skin back to London."

Another semi-mythical figure in early English history is Tom the Panther, who led one of the first expeditions out of London after it was founded.

Sometime in the 3600's BCE, he is told to have killed a huge panther after it had slain his friend, and then worn the beast's fur back to the city.
The Panther was not the only legendary warrior to be named for an animal. The Lionheads, after whom the modern London football team is named, were so named because they each supposedly wore the skins of a lion they killed over their heads.

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Sources differ on the exactly when Stonehenge was built, but modern archaeology suggests that it was finished no later than 1650 BCE. The bast guess we have as to its use is that it was a place where pagan religious ceremonies, such as sacrifices, were performed. Also of note is that the positioning of the stones in the central circle cause sound to reverberate and therefore, anyone talking in the center of the circle could be heard from a much further distance.

"Here!" said Downside. He was, of course, not the original Downside, but the name had been passed down to all the leaders of England. "This is where my father was when he was taken to the realm of the gods! Here, we shall erect a great monument to them."
"What will it look like? How will we know what to build?" The crowd was concerned that this would be too great a project for them to complete.
"I know exactly what to build," said Downside, "for it was sent to me in a dream. Two stone slabs, placed vertically on the ground will hold up another slab. Each stone will be twice the height and twice the width of a grown man."
"That's crazy!" one person in the crowd cried out. "It would take years to drag the stones here from Nottingham Mountain, and then it would take hundreds of men to place them like that!"
"That's not all!" Downside was determined not to repeat his father's mistake. "There will be many of these structures, arranged in a circle around a larger stone, which will lie flat on the ground. Here, we will honor the gods and their ultimate power with sacrifices of pigs, and with prayer!" Downside's father had challenged the gods' power and was immediately taken from the Earth by a mighty blast of light from the heavens. Downside knew it would take more than his own lifetime to finish this great project.

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Downside looked at the great monument. His father, grandfather, and even his father's grandfather had all devoted their lives to this project. They were not all Chiefs, they did not all have the honor of the name, 'Downside', but they all led the effort to build this great monument, and now, seeing it complete, Downside felt that his life's work was done, and he could, when his time came, rest in peace in a way his father and grandfather had not. The only thing left to do was to name the monument. As Downside considered his options, he though about the title that the people of London had given the members of his family who had worked on this project. 'Hengers,' they were called. Even his young son, who had not yet grown to a working age, was known as 'The Little Henger.' He knew what to call this monument.
Turning around, Downside saw the crowd who had turned out to see the first sacrifice on the center altar. He was surprised to spot the mysterious Sumerian emissary, whom The Glorious Leader had sent to London. "This is great," he thought, "even the Sumerians will know of my forefathers' greatness and will learn to respect us. He went into the center of the circle, next to the shaman who was ready to behead the pig lying on the altar stone and looked at the crowd once more. His voice echoed across the field and was heard by the entire crowd as he said, "Witness, the effort of my forebears! Today, we make this sacrifice to the gods from this, Stonehenge!"

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The first true Kings of England emerged during the 5th century AD. Prior to that, The ruler was always the strongest warrior, and often they were deposed quite violently. In Anno Domini 577, the governing family of Hastings, which could trace its lineage back to St. Paul, builder of the Church of the nativity, and which had members in high standing in both the church and the military, engineered the bloodiest coup yet, and started a period of chaos in England which lasted for 30 years. However, at the end of this period of anarchy, the family, called the House of Joao, emerged as the uncontested leaders of both the church and the military. The Pope then announced that his cousin, whose given name has been lost to time, would be King of England, would take the name Downside, and would pass on the name, the title, and the position down to his eldest living son upon his death. This marked the beginning of the English monarchy.

The man knelt before the Pope, his cousin, in reverence to God. He had already renounced his former name, and was now about to get a new one. "In the name of Almighty God, I now name you King Downside, ruler of all of England," said the Pope as he lowered the crown onto the man's head. The newly named King Downside rose and looked out at his kingdom.

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"My Lord! My Lord!" The advisor to the King bowed before presenting his news. "More barbarians have been sighted near Coventry! It seems the city will be attacked!"
"Where are our horse archers? They were sent west months ago to deal with this problem!"
"Well, sir, they had just finished fighting off the barbarian forces attacking Warwick and protecting the settlers who were moving north from there," the aide spoke fast, but confidently. King Downside did not forgive either weakness or failure. "They are getting to Coventry as fast as they can, but it could still take months longer."
The King groaned. "Will Coventry be able to defend itself?"
The aide's face brightened, "Yes, Sir! The archers we have stationed there will no doubt be able to hold the city with little problem. The attack may, however, slow our attempts to develop the land northwest of Coventry."
"Well, Advisor, do you have a suggestion to deal with any more barbarian attacks, considering that they could come at any time toward either Coventry, or our new city, Newcastle?"
"Perhaps, Sir," The aide took a breath. "We could train more horse archers. About twice as many as we have now."
"WHAT?" the exasperated King shouted. "That's impossible! I have a hard enough time getting the ones we have back and forth when barbarians attack! You want me to train MORE?"
"No! Sir, that's not what I meant." The aide was really getting nervous now. "We could leave one group in Coventry, to be sent out to attack any approaching barbarian forces. Another could stay in Newcastle, and one more could go out into unclaimed territory and hunt down any barbarians it finds."
"I see," the King started to calm down. Then he began to hear the footsteps of another aide coming down the hall. "I have no time to deal with this right now." Downside took a ring off his left index finger and tossed it into the surprised advisor's hands. "take this and order the training of two more groups of horse archers, as if with my own voice. The ring is yours to keep, as a symbol of your status as..." the King pondered for a moment the title he was about to give to this aide, "Panther, the sole Military Advisor to the King."
The newly appointed advisor thanked his Lord and bowed before running to order the training of more horse archers. As he ran, he wondered if this position came with a pay raise.
 
I wish for some screen shots please.
I thought this was a story about The downsides of imperialism...instead, ...you are going to get this:

[party][party]:band::band:[party][party]:rockon::rockon::dance::dance:
Welcome, Young writer, to the land where the strong control all and the weak "cultured" people burn, where the advanced destroy the primitive, where the UN is a tool for world domination, where democracy is just a means of building things quicker while communism is the most effective economy for large empires more often than not, where those who conquer the quickest and than keep control of their spoils are the most respected, where men love to start as cavemen on their trip 2 the cosmos, the heavens fall twice with incantations of unbelievable power, where the ultimate religious authority is a white, radioactive rock that can burst forth sometimes with the radiance of a thousand suns[1], where the forecast is continued war in a hell-hole of eternal war against EurasiaEastAsia with a 100% chance of mushroom clouds, or have been forced to abandon their own home due to thermonuclear warfare for the stars. All at the dance of those voyaging writers, who place with the lives of trillions for the purposes of their game.

This is Civfanatics. Only The the strong will flourish under its members iron rule and titanium fists. The weak will be perished, the strong ganged on, the cunning survive.
Do you have what it takes, Oh maybe wise and definately greedy writer?
 
OOS:
I wish for some screen shots please.
I thought this was a story about The downsides of imperialism...instead, ...you are going to get this:

[party][party]:band::band:[party][party]:rockon::rockon::dance::dance:
Welcome, Young writer, to the land where the strong control all and the weak "cultured" people burn, where the advanced destroy the primitive, where the UN is a tool for world domination, where democracy is just a means of building things quicker while communism is the most effective economy for large empires more often than not, where those who conquer the quickest and than keep control of their spoils are the most respected, where men love to start as cavemen on their trip 2 the cosmos, the heavens fall twice with incantations of unbelievable power, where the ultimate religious authority is a white, radioactive rock that can burst forth sometimes with the radiance of a thousand suns[1], where the forecast is continued war in a hell-hole of eternal war against EurasiaEastAsia with a 100% chance of mushroom clouds, or have been forced to abandon their own home due to thermonuclear warfare for the stars. All at the dance of those voyaging writers, who place with the lives of trillions for the purposes of their game.

This is Civfanatics. Only The the strong will flourish under its members iron rule and titanium fists. The weak will be perished, the strong ganged on, the cunning survive.
Do you have what it takes, Oh maybe wise and definately greedy writer?

A warm welcome indeed. Thank you, good sir. I must apologize for the... well, the peace. I started on the OTHER END of a very large continent from the only others on my continent. I promise it will get more interesting in a chapter or two when some fighting happens.:shifty:
I didn't know if the name would get all that much attention, but, 'Oh my God, it's a play on words!'
:sarcasm:

Next chapter today. Most Likely.
 
"This is doubtless a sign from God that He is unsatisfied with the Crown's treatment of His Holy City!" The Pope was furious.
Suddenly, an aide, a small man who, the King remembered, was named George, burst into the Throne room, out of breath. "Sir! I have the reports of damage from Hastings! A small farming village was destroyed. Most of the residents survived, but they won't be able to return to their homes. A larger, mining village took worse damage, few survivors remain. Also, we lost the iron mine, and all but one of the miners. The surviving miner, however, seems to have disappeared after making a rather alarming report that he was..." the aide hesitated to finish his statement. "Well, go on," said the King. "What did he say?"
The aide continued, burying his mousy fave in the report. "He said he was praying. But not to God, as one should. He prayed to one of the old, pagan gods. One by the name of Vulcan.""Outrageous!" The Pope was infuriated, and seemed ready to throttle the aide. "This is obviously punishment for that miner's misdeeds! We must appease God! The crown must give more money to the Church of the Nativity, so that they may better educate the people of Hastings!"
"ENOUGH!" the King yelled. "You may be the Pope, but I am the King, and you may not disrespect me in my own hall! The crown will pay for the education of the lower-class citizens of Hastings, and I shall also send crews to rebuild the mine and to build a new workshop to better manage the mine itself. I've been getting reports that it has been failing to meet quotas."
"How generous of you, my Lord!" the aide knew that complimenting his master was the surest way to keep himself in his good graces.
"Yes, young George. And you will be the one to order these generous acts on my behalf!" I now name you Sole Advisor to the King on Matters of Domestic Management!" He took off a ring from his right index finger, just as his father had done, decades ago, when he created the office of Military Advisor to the King, and tossed it to a bewildered George. "Take that ring, and with it give those orders as if with my own voice!"

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The Pope looked at the report handed to him. "So the mission was successful?"
The Bishop from London was dead serious. "Yes, our missionary has successfully brought the word of Christ to the people of Uruk, and it should spread from there to the rest of Sumeria easily. If I may, it was certainly very kind of King Downside to lend us the use of that troop of horse archers. The Lionheads are certainly a formidable force and they provided excellent protection to our missionary."
"And what was The Glorious Leader's reaction to out missionary showing up in his city?" The Pope made a mental note to thank the Military Advisor for convincing the King of the necessity of their mission.
"He allowed our man to speak in the center of the city, and decided to convert himself. The missionary baptized him in the city center, with the Sumerian citizens looking on. This may result in the people, with trust in their leader, converting more willingly."
"Wonderful." The Pope excused the Bishop from his hall. There was a lot of paperwork to do.

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The late 15th and 16th centuries AD were a time of discovery for the English Empire. Within 150 years, English caravels had proven that the world was round and made contact with the people of every major civilization on the planet. These two discoveries shook both the Christian Church and the English monarchy to their cores, but the Empire would be better off for it.

"Ugh." The King groaned at the latest reports from Mali. He turned to the aide who gave him the papers and said, "Why do I need to care about the tribal customs of the rural Malinese people?"
"Because, Sir, it could come up in negotiations, and it would be very bad if you didn't know something that turned out to be crucial." This aide was very articulate and bold. The King, however did not like what he was hearing.
"When I was a child, my father told me that as more of the world was discovered, people would become experts in all sorts of things, things that, at the time seemed not to matter, because eventually, they would matter. I did not, however, expect to have to become an expert in all of those things!"
"Yes, Sir," The aide saw an opportunity here. "A King should be able to devote most of his time to managing his own kingdom, not mastering the intricacies of another."
The King looked at his aide, allowing an idea to take form in his mind. "You seem to be good at learning this... subject matter. How would you like to do it full time?"
The aide grinned. "Sir, I've wanted to learn about foreign lands ever since my own grandfather told me the story of him commanding one of the caravels that proved that the Earth was round. It would be an honor to do so in service to the crown."
King Downside laughed. "Alright, then, here. Take this ring," he took a ring from his left thumb, "and speak as if with my own voice as the sole Advisor to the King on the Affairs of Foreign Lands. Your first assignment is to memorize every report you can on every foreign nation, and to consult with the Military Advisor on our caravels' further exploration."
"Yes, Sir! Right away!" The newly appointed Advisor bowed profusely on the way out of the Throne room.
"Oh, and could you send in an aide with the paperwork to make your position official? And also some order forms for new rings!" The King continued laughing heartily even when the aide came with the paperwork.

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The King met with his advisors in the newly built council room. "Today is the first session of the Council of Royal Ministers." When King Downside had signed into law the new Constitution of The English Empire, he had thoroughly streamlined the management of his kingdom while simultaneously easing his own workload. Or so he had thought. Instead, he had simply welcomed work he had never even known existed beforehand, and he was pretty sure that some of it hadn't existed prior. These meetings, for example. They did cut down the amount of time he had to spend with each individual advisor, but so much of what would be said was going to go in one ear and out the other! Nevertheless, he retained his decorum.
"First we will hear from the Military Minister." Three advisory positions to the King had already existed before the Constitution: the Military, Domestic, and Foreign Advisors. The Constitution created several more: The old Advisors were made into Ministers, and the Economic, Scientific, Papal, Espionage, and Civil ministers' offices were created. "Now remember that you are all bound by oath and by law never to speak of the Imperial Secrets we discuss in this room. Go ahead, Minister."
"Thank you, my Lord. As you mentioned, What I am about to say is an Imperial Secret and must never leave this room. We have had little recent contact from barbarian marauders except for some minor skirmishes that our new cavalry divisions are handling quite nicely.However, if we are attacked by a sufficiently large force, which, as of yet, does not exist, but may come about as room to expand decreases for both us and other empires, our crossbowmen may not be able to handle it."
"I see. Of course, when we gave our knights muskets, and then rifles, we never really considered doing the same for our city garrisons. Do you suggest we leave cavalry men in our cities to defend them?"
"No, sir. After reviewing some reports of earlier battles, I have come to the opinion that our while the rifles improve our soldiers' overall combat effectiveness, and our horses allow our cavalry to attack more effectively, our cavalrymen, and before that our cuirassers and knights, have had trouble using defensive strategies due to the presence of horses. Therefore, I suggest that we equip our crossbowmen with rifles only. I have already equipped and trained one squad as a test, and it was a resounding success. In a recent parade through London, it seems this squad, who wore bright red jackets, was given a nickname by the people of the city: Redcoats."
The King's interest was piqued. "Interesting. Does anyone else wish to comment or raise concerns?"
"Sir." The Domestic Minister stood. "If I may ask a question of the good Military Minister? I am a bit out of touch with the latest scientific developments. When last I heard about the rifling concept, I was told that rifles backfired very easily and that they were as dangerous to the wielder as to the target. Has this problem been overcome?"
"Minister, if you will respond?" the King looked at the Military Minister.
The Military Minister stood. "I'm actually glad you asked. I have worked closely with our good Scientific Minister on that problem," he gestured toward the Scientific Minister, "and his people have determined a way by which we can resolve that problem. He is, of course the only one here who understands the process," a small chuckle went through the room, "but I can personally testify as to his new rifle's effectiveness, and the engineers at our forge tell me that this design is actually easier to make than earlier test designs. If all that doesn't assuage your concerns, hear this: only three days ago I went on a hunting trip, using one of these new rifles, and brought home dinner for my entire block. The gun didn't malfunction once."
The Domestic Minister felt relieved. "Well, it would seem I really was behind. I congratulate the Scientific Minister on his and his peoples' hard work and their discovery. In addition, I would like to suggest that we give all of our new rifle-bearing soldiers these bright red jackets and encourage the use of this nickname, "Redcoats." It could increase morale among the troops and promote the cultural identity of the city garrisons."
Now the King spoke up. "I like it! Any objections?" No one replied. "Then I hereby order the Military Minister to arrange for all of our crossbowmen to be equipped with rifles and red jackets and trained as Redcoats!"
 
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