Chapter II
In 816 AD, a small colonial force landed in a land known as "Epirus Nova," home of the "Arbanasi" (Albanians). They were a loose coalition of tribes and had little military power. They were centered in one urban town known to the Venetians as Dyrrachium, but to the natives as Durrës. Enrico saw this area as a key port to sending ships into the Mediterranean.
Enrico: I did? Cool.
The Arbanasi were a proud culture led by the tyrant king Shqype. When he refused to give up Dyrrachium for a coupon for free fries at Burger King, the Venetians laid siege to the city. A Byzantine merchant was a witness to the assault and described the event:
"There was, like, blood everywhere. And I, like, ran away, but, like, I could hear, like, screaming. It was, like...Like, the coolest thing ever! But I was, like, too scared to appreciate it at the, like, time."
Shqype was overthrown and a city was founded over the rubble of Dyrrachium, Durazzo.
Enrico: Awesome! I'm glad I ordered the city's destruction!
!
Enrico: Oops. Hope nobody heard that...
Pope: What was that about complete and utter destruction?
Enrico: Nothing...!
Pope: Y'know, the Arbanasi are Catholics too...and fighting one's brothers and sisters in the faith is a capital crime...
Enrico: Are you blackmailing me?
Pope: No, no, no...yes.
Enrico: What do you want?
Pope: Open borders.
Enrico: I...um...sure. Yeah, sure.
Pope: Oh, yeah! Score 1 for the Pope! I'm sorry it had to be that severe...
Enrico: Okay...?
In 828, Enrico's second party-
Enrico: Par-tay!!!
Not that kind of party!
Enrico: Sorry.
-landed on the Peloponnese and founded the port of Navarin in order to prevent the Byzantines from claiming all of Greece. They also figured it would be a nice port for ships exploring the rest of the Mediterranean.
And it could be a military base for staging operations against the Byzantines...
Enrico: I need to ensure that I am the greatest seafaring nation...but the Byzies seem to have more power than I...
Giovanni: My sereneness, everyone with a coastal city is a more mercantile state that you.
Enrico: Thanks, Giovanni. I need to conquer the region known as Thessaly. It appears one of their best ports is up there, but just beyond our maps.
Giovanni: I'm sure they have tons of ports, they are, at this time, the greatest empire in Europe. Or at least we assume that...
Enrico: For now, we need to settle unclaimed land, then we lead the assault against the Byzantines.
Giovanni: What about the Lombards? You seem to want to invade everyone you've met!
Enrico: That's not true, I don't want to invade the Pope! ...Well that's a lie, I mean I CAN'T invade the Pope.
So the brave Venetian fleet continued to explore the Eastern Mediterranean. And they stumbled across an island known as Crete.
Giuseppe: Hello Enrico, I am the admiral of the Venetian navy.
Enrico: Umm...yes, I know that. I didn't need an introduction.
*Giuseppe pulls out a map of Crete*
Giuseppe: As you can see here, the sleet in Crete stays neatly in the street.
Enrico: But I can't see. I'm blind. I can't read maps.
Giuseppe: Ooh...who should I show the map to?
Enrico: Andrea! My most trusted adviser! Get in here!
Andrea: *pant, pant* What?
Enrico: You are the only adviser I trust, Giovanni freaks me out and Pietro is just an idiot.
Giuseppe: Well, we've found this place known as Crete, we will probably colonize it later. But here is a map of the tiny island. It has some salt, but no pepper. It has some hills...and some plains. And the most fertile bit of land is home to the town of Heraklion, which has been claimed by the Byzantine Empire.
Andrea: You could have just told that to Enrico.
Giuseppe: But he's blind. He can't hear.
Andrea: No, it means he can't see, he can hear just fine.
Giuseppe: So I guess I shouldn't have shouted he was stinky-head outside of the palace today.
Enrico: That was you!? Guard, kill that man!
*Points to guard*
Guard: Wha?
*Guard kills himself with pike*
*Giuseppe tip-toes out*
Enrico: There! Being blind isn't so bad, right Andrea?
The Venetian fleet also came across the island of Rhodes.
Enrico: Admiral! Get in here!
Giuseppe: Erm...okay...
Being 90 years old, Enrico forgot he ordered to kill hated Giuseppe.
Enrico: Ah, Giuseppe, one of my favorite military leaders...
Giuseppe: Thanks...?
Enrico: What can you tell me about Rhodes?
Giuseppe: *Ahem* Well, the island is fairly small and has a city on it...Rhodes. The island is full of dye and is a vassal to the Byzantine Empire. I suggest invading it in the future, we cannot let it fall into Byzantine hands.
Enrico: Yes...the Empire shall crumble!!! I mean, not my empire of course.
Giuseppe: Too late.
Enrico: Dammit!
So the Venetians finished their research of engineering and moved on to machinery, in order to train the mighty crossbowman.
Giuseppe: Well, my sereneness, we have a fairly extensive map of the Byzantine coast.
Giuseppe: We've mapped out two major Byzantine ports: Athenai and Smyrna. If we wish to control the Eastern Mediterranean, we'll need them.
Enrico: Yes! We will be the most serene republic Europe has ever seen!
Venice's expansion had only begun. They wouldn't just settle their land, they'd conquer some too...
Reign in Spain was perfect!
